Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own it
Warnings: Yaoi, cursing, OCCsness (I barely know hetalia at all. x.x), and drinking. You have been warned! Read at your own discretion!
Characters: America, Canada, England, France, Poland, Lithuania, Russia, Prussia, Spain, Italy, Japan, Romano, and Germany.
Pairings: France/UK, US/UK, France/Canada, Russia/Poland, Russia/Lithuania, Poland/Lithuania, Spain/Romano, Germany/Italy, Somewhat France/Prussia/Spain, and US/Japan.
Author's Note: Don't ask where this came from. I honestly don't know. I really should be writing my nanowrimo, but both my (male) characters (and probably myself as well) are PMSing, and I don't want to deal with them at the moment. So instead I present you with 13 countries playing truth or dare. Btw, Tordol is a real site, and I realized halfway through writing this that it was really pervy. (If I write more I'll probably stop using it. I'm honestly getting tired of writing kisses)
I rated this a bit high, because I'm not good with ratings, and if I write more, then there might be some smut later on... and I know myself. I'll forget to change the rating on it.
Alfred sighed, looking into the bottom of his glass. He was currently in a local bar, which generally catered to many of the countries drinking habits after long meetings, and he was utterly bored. It was then that he got an idea. A brilliant, awesome idea. He whipped out his cell phone and sent a mass text message. This was going to be awesome.
Arthur was sitting at his desk, shuffling through his papers for the next day. It had been a long day of boring meetings, and he wanted to finish this as quickly as he could so he could go to bed. His cell phone buzzed, and he barely looked at the message before ignoring it.
Totally awesome game of truth or dare. Rm 110. 10pm. Be there or be square. BYOB ~Alfred
Honestly the older nation had no reason to engage in such childish games. Once the papers were arranged, Arthur threw back the rest of his scotch, and headed to bed. His head had just sunk into the pillow when there was a pounding against his door. Arthur almost ignored it.
"Rosbif!" Francis yelled through the wood, "Let us in!"
"What do you want, bastard?" Arthur growled, opening the door. Francis stood there, two wine bottles in one hand, the arm of which was draped over a slightly inebriated Mathew, and an open bottle of champagne in the other.
"We're going to Alfred's game," Mathew told him, as the two of them stumbled into the suit.
"We came to make sure you came too," Francis continued.
"I'm not going." Arthur growled, "I have better things to do." He turned his back on the two of them.
In the end, Arthur did end up going with the two of them. All in all, 12 countries showed up – America, Canada, France, England, Poland, Lithuania, Russia, Prussia, Spain, S. Italy, N. Italy, Germany, who insisted he came just to ensure the safety of Italy, and Japan.
Alfred quickly explained the rules. They were going to use tordol . com to ensure fairness for all. If you did not like your orders then you could switch to the other one, but only once. If you switched there was no going back. Everything is to, of course, remain completely consensual, and anyone can leave at any point. Then the game began.
"I'll start!" Alfred smiled, "Dare." He clicked the button on the browser.
"Both players on either side of you must pour their remaining drink into your cup, and you must finish it." He read, "If the other players have nothing in their cups, you luck out." He looked at the two men on either side of him, Mathew and Kiku. He smiles at them, grabbing a hotel room cup.
"Fill 'em up," he tells the two other nations. He watches as the red wine and sake splash together, and takes a gentle sip. "Not half bad." He sets the glass down. "Francis?"
"Ah, mon fils, you skipped Mathew," Francis pointed out.
"Oh, yeah," Alfred scratched the back of his head, "I forgot about you." He muttered. "Truth or Dare?" Everyone expected him to say truth. No one expected him to do a dare. Not without knowing the limits of the site.
So of course they were all shocked when the northern nation chose to do a dare.
"Your hands will be tied behind your back and you will be blind folded," Alfred grimaced as he read his brother's fate, "You will be put in the bathroom, where you must chant the 'the ghosts in the mirror,' until the end of the round." Everyone figured he would change, go with the Truth. Again Canada defied expectations. He stood and with the help of Francis and Alfred was blindfolded and led to the bathroom.
"We'll be back for you soon, mon fils," Francis whispered to the other man, as they closed the bathroom door.
"Alright, Francis?" Alfred asked once the two of them had been seated again.
"Dare," A smirk crossed the man's face.
"Choose a member of the opposite sex," Alfred read aloud. He stopped, looked around the circle, "Err, same sex then. You both now fill your mouths with water and kiss. You must swallow all the water. If water falls on any of your clothes, you must remove that piece of clothing for 3 turns."
"Arthur?" Francis leered, turning to the man on his left. The Englishman glared at him.
"Hell no!" he yelled.
"But Mathew is gone, who else could help me with this dare? I guess there is always Alfred, but…" He left the phrase there as Arthur's eyes shifted uneasily between Francis and his former colony.
"Fine," he sighed in defeat.
"Just go ahead and use your drinks," Alfred shrugged, "Mattie's in the bathroom, so we can't get water."
Both men took a swig of their perspective drink - Francis champagne, Arthur Scotch. Arthur glared as Francis' lips approached his. Liquid spilled to the carpet as their lips met, and mouths opened slightly. The other nations watched, some in horror, some in fascination as Francis' tongue slid into Arthur's mouth.
A small sound escaped Arthur's mouth as he was pulled closer to the other man. His hands buried themselves in blond locks. A hand slid up his thigh closer and closer to his crotch.
"Bloody hell!" Arthur spluttered, pulling back as he felt Francis cop a feel. The left over mixture of scotch and champagne dribbled down on his shirt. His hand flashed across Francis' face, leaving a bright red mark as the noise of flesh on flesh echoed around the room.
"Couldn't help it, sourcils," Francis smirked, after swallowing.
"Alright, Arthur, you lose your shirt," Alfred cut in, before an international incident could occur.
"What?" The other nation spluttered.
"You got your shirt wet," Alfred explains, "You lose it for three turns." Arthur's glare shifted from his excolony, to Francis. He mumbled under his breath (something about stupid frogs who can't keep their hands to theirselves) as he pulled the shirt over his, and tossed it at Alfred. He crossed his arms over his chest, rubbing slight to ward off the chills and glances from other countries.
"Arthur," Alfred began.
"What!" The other nation snapped.
"It's your turn," Alfred snickered, "Truth or dare?"
"Truth," Arthur glared, "and make it a good one."
"What is the most 'pathetic' thing you have done to impress a guy or girl?" Alfred asked, "How did it turn out?" Francis began to laugh at the question.
"What!?" Arthur yelled, "I refuse to dignify that with an answer. What are you laughing at bastard?"
"Do you want to switch to dare then?" Alfred asked evenly.
"Yes," Arthur growled.
"Choose one player of the opposite sex… Make that same sex," Alfred read, "They may put a hickie on any part of your body that is currently exposed."
"It will be my pleasure," Francis states, turning to the enraged Brit.
"Hell no, it won't!" Arthur yelled at him. "I refuse. I want another one."
"Sorry," Alfred snickered, "That was your only switch."
"Then I'll answer the first one," Arthur said hurriedly, "Once, I bought a book, How to Woo A Frenchman."
"And?" Gilbert asked, with a smirk. Arthur turned beet red.
"Let's just say it involved silk scarves, and chocolate sauce," Francis added for the blushing Brit.
"Sorry Arthur," Alfred continued, once the din of laughter died down, "You can't revert to an old one. You have to take the dare."
"I'm still willing, mon Coeur," Francis offered.
"No," Arthur rolled his eyes, "If someone must it will be Alfred." At least he was a former colony. He would nice to the man.
A wolfish grin spread across Alfred's face. He passed the computer to Francis as he crawled towards Arthur. He gave the other man a quick kiss on the lips, pushing him back so he lay on the ground.
"Alfred?" Arthur quested, as the blond kissed his way down Arthur's chest. He finally figured out what the American was doing when he felt teeth digging into his skin right above his pants. "Alfred! Not there!"
"The dare says any exposed skin," Francis chucked. Alfred smirked, continuing to nibble and lick on the skin. Fingers wove through his hair, pushing him down harder. Arthur's blush increased as a small moan escaped his lips.
"There," Alfred mumbled, pulling back and examining his handy work. There was now a hickie that would shine for a few good days. He made his way back to his seat, and took a sip of his drink. "Who's next?"
"Dare," Toris said.
"Turn off all the lights and shut your eyes." Alfred read, "Now have the rest of the group stand in a circle around you, and spin your around five times. Now you must reach out until you touch a person. The first person you touch, you must kiss." Feliks glared at his partner.
"You'd like better pick me," he hissed.
"I'll try," Toris whispered, giving him a kiss on the cheek. He turned off the lights as everyone stood, and made his way back to the center. He memorized the direction Poland was in, and began to spin. Once. Twice. Thrice. Fourth, and finally the fifth spin. He was a tad dizzy, but he had a good idea of what direction he was facing. He took a step forwards, hands stretched out, searching for a body. He expected to find his lover's soft jacket. He buried his hand in fluffy material. He pulled slightly, and pushed his lips against the person before him.
"Become one with Russia, da?" he heard softly as he pulled back from man.
The lights flicked off instantly, Feliks standing by the switch, glaring at his partner. Toris looked forwards, and saw Russia leering at him. He squeaked, and moved quickly back to his seat.
"Alright, Feliks," Alfred said, trying to break the tension before another international incident occurred, "Truth or dare."
"The group may choose any other player." Alfred read, "You must kiss their cheek and KEEP your lips on their cheek for one round. This means you may have to participate in any dare that they do. So who do we choose?"
"I believe, the only plausible choice is Ivan," Kiku stated calmly.
"Do you like, want another war?" Feliks asked, glaring at Kiku.
"Everyone else has either gone, or has a partner who would be jealous," Kiku explained.
"Oh my god, I have a partner," Feliks pointed out, "Like why don't I just like kiss him?"
"He has already gone," Kiku stated, "It would defeat the purpose of the last part of the dare."
"But that's totally not fair!" Feliks whined.
"Quiet!" Ludwig shouted, "We will go about this orderly. Everyone may vote for one member of the circle, starting with Alfred," no one raised their hand. "Francis?" Only Francis raised his hand. The man pouted when he realized he would not get the kiss, "Arthur?" Again no hands. "Toris?" Poland, Lithuania, and Feliciano both raised there hands. "Ivan?" Antonio, Gilbert, Lovino, Kiku, and Ludwig all raised their hands. No else voted. "Ivan it is then," Ludwig concluded.
Feliks slowly shuffled over to the big man, trying to ignore the happy smile plastered all over Russia's face. He carefully placed his lips on the man's cheek, almost as if he was afraid he wouldn't get them back.
"You feel like a dead fish," Russia commented, placing one hand on Feliks' back, and rubbing gently. It had the opposite effect however. Feliks just got tenser.
"Ivan, your turn," Alfred said, almost growling. Old rivalries are hard to forget.
"Dare," Ivan said, still stroking Feliks. There were several moments of silence as Alfred clicked at the computer.
"What's taking so long, da?" Ivan asked.
"Trying to find a dare I'm willing to submit someone else to help with," Alfred replied.
"Just give me one," Ivan told him.
"Alright, alright," Alfred sighed, "Choose a… someone," he edited this time, "This person must eat a piece of candy, or chew some gum for one full round. Afterwards, you must deeply kiss this player each round until you can no longer taste what they were eating." He grabbed one of those fancy mint chocolates that fancy hotels leave on the pillow and tossed it to Ivan. "Who do you choose?"
"Toris," Ivan stated, passing the chocolate on. Poland made to protest, but Ivan just pushed him back against his cheek. Lithuania sighed, glancing up, silently asking if he had to. Alfred nodded. He popped the candy in his mouth and began to suck.
"My turn," Gilbert interrupted proudly, taking another sip of his beer. "Dare."
"Spin around in a circle twenty times with your eyes shut, then stand perfectly still," Alfred read, "If you can stand without moving your feet, taking a step, or falling, you are done. If you take a step, remove all clothes above the belt. If you fall, remove all clothes below the belt. Clothes stay off for 1 turn."
Gilbert stumbled a bit as he got to his feet. He took one more swig of his beer before handing it to Antonio and beginning to turn. He only made it to 15 turns before he hit the ground.
"So that's everything below the belt, non?" Francis asked. Gilbert nodded, standing back up.
"I dedicate this," he said fiddling to get his belt off, "to my two good friends, Francis and Antonio." He pulled the belt off in one fluid movement. It fell, coiling on the floor like a snake. The scene that followed was one straight out of a porno, consisting of several hip thrust, the loss of the rest of the man's clothing, and a dance that, if there had been a pole, might have been mildly appropriate for a hooker. By the end of it, almost every nation was red, and Arthur had put his hands over Alfred's eyes to "save his innocence."
"Okay," Alfred drawled after Gilbert sat down smugly, "If anyone needs a minute, go right ahead." Everyone looked around growing redder.
"What was that?" Antonio whispered to Gilbert. The other nation just smirked.
"Antonio?" Alfred asked, after he was sure the other nations would recover. "Your turn."
"Truth." Lovino rolled his eyes at his lover's lack of bravado. Not that he really wanted to see Antonio do a strip tease dedicated to his friends, or "become one with Russia," but still.
"If your partner could switch bodies with someone else, but have the same mind, would you feel comfortable having sex with them?" Alfred asked, "Why or why not?"
"Well," Antonio thought for a minute, "It would all depend I guess. If he switched with his brother or someone who looked similar I probably wouldn't mind but it if was someone who looked different like Iv… I mean Ludwig, then no, I think that'd be too weird for me."
"What!?" Lovino yelled, "You'd sleep with my brother!?"
"Si, if you had switched bodies," Antonio explained. Lovino mumbled something under his breath that sounded like "cheating bastard," crossing his arms over his chest.
"Lovino? Your turn."
"What is an outfit, costume, or style of clothing that you would love to see your partner in? Why?" Alfred asked.
"His own clothes," Lovino spluttered, turning red. No one questioned his answer.
"Feliciano, you're turn."
"Your presence was requested, but you did not appear for your own petty reasons. What event did you last refuse to attend, despite being invited? Why did you do such a thing?"
"But I would never refuse to attend something," Feliciano pondered, "Unless I was cooking pasta." That was unisversally accepted as a good answer to keep the Italian from going on and on about his precious pasta.
"Dare," Ludwig told Alfred before he could even ask.
"Let your partner lie back while you have sex with them as QUICKLY as you can for 3 minutes. You should do all of the work." Ludwig slowly started turning red.
"Ve, ready?" Feliciano asked, giving his lover a quick kiss on the cheek.
"I will do no such thing!" Ludwig yelled. "Change it." He crossed his arms.
"Truth it is then," Alfred said, clicking the appropriate buttons.
"You are driving with your partner when you get pulled over by a police officer, same sex as your partner. They write you a $1,200 ticket, but say you can drive off with no ticket IF you are willing to masturbate while they (and your partner) watch. Do you do it? Why or why not?" Ludwig thought about it for a moment. The practical side of it, losing money, or losing dignity.
"I would," Ludwig muttered. Feliciano beamed up at him proudly.
"Kiku, truth or dare?"
"The group selects some kind of sauce/cream, like whipped cream, ketchup, chocolate sauce. Allow the player on your left," Alfred looked up for a second, "I guess that'd be me, to dab this all over your lips until they are covered. The person on your right now gets to select another player from the group that must clean your lips off using only their tongue- no lips." Alfred looked up from the computer, "I guess we'll have to call room service for that. What do we want to use?" The group finally decided to order a sundae from room service and use whatever toppings the kitchen decided to put on it.
"Hello, room service?" Alfred placed the call. "We need a fudge sundae in Room 110. Anyone else need anything?" Alfred asked.
"Be a good boy and get me some more scotch."
"I could use some more vodka, da."
"Ve, we're running out of beer over here." Many other began adding their drink orders as well.
The room service delivery boy was not at all shocked when he brought up the room. Sure there were two people half undressed, and yeah, that one… guy… looked awkward with his lips pressed up against another man, and was that chanting he heard coming from the bathroom? But one look at the number of alcoholic beverages on his cart was enough to explain all that.
"You all have to pay for your own drinks," Alfred said, taking one look at the bill. "My economy can't handle everyone's drinking habits."
"Fine, fine," Arthur grumbled, "Just get on with the bloody dare already."
"Oh yeah!" Alfred giggled. He grabbed the sundae - the only non alcoholic thing delivered, and approached the asian nation. He opted to use his fingers, instead of the spoon, to paint a mixture of fudge, ice cream, and caramel sauce on the other man's lips. It was quite a messy experience. He got it all over Kiku's face, not just his lips. As a final measure he took the cherry and pushed it between Kiku's lips, making the other man hold it there.
"Alright, Ludwig," Alfred said, pulling back and licking off his fingers, "Who gets to clean him up."
"Alfred, you made the mess. Why don't you clean it up?" Ludwig replied.
Alfred giggled drunkenly. He placed the sundae on the ground, and approached the other nation on his hands and knees. He tentatively stuck his tongue out, lapping at the mess on Kiku's face. One hand came up, to hold Kiku's face still, giving Alfred better access to it.
"Tasty," he muttered, pulling back slightly before attacking the mess again. He left the cherry between the man's face. His tongue swiped across Kiku's nose, clearing a little whipped cream off it.
Once he was finally sure the mess was all gone, he leaned in and grabbed the cherry with his teeth. He pulled slightly, tearing the cherry in half.
"You can keep the rest of it," he whispered to the Asian nation.
"Alright. That's the end of round one," Alfred said, once he returned to his spot. "Feliks you can stop kissing Ivan." Poland immediately pulled back, whipping his mouth off. "Francis, let's go get Mathew."
"But comrade," Ivan started, "You are forgetting the rest of my dare. I need to see if I can still taste the candy is Toris' mouth, da?"
"Oh yeah, go ahead." A low growl rumbled in Feliks' throat as the taller nation approached his partner. Ivan payed no heed, grabbing the back of Toris' head, and pulling him in for a kiss.
Alfred, not wanting to be a witness to the start of another war, grabbed Francis and went after Mathew. He banged loudly on the bathroom door.
"AHHHHH!!" Mathew screamed bloody murder inside the room. Francis rushed in, pulling the other man close. He began whispering something soothing in French, while undoing the blindfold.
"I'm impressed," Alfred said from the doorway, "You've probably been in here for at least half an hour."
"Hey! The dare like said only to kiss! Not grope!" Feliks yelled from the other room. Alfred rolled his eyes. The three of them headed back to the main room, ready to start Round 2.
Author's Note: Like? Yes? No? Sorry about Lovino's. His changed so many times. x.x I finally just wanted to get it over with. Should I write more? Any dare suggestions? Anyone you want to see join? Anyone you want to see leave?
A little note on Canada's dare, That one actually happened. My friends and I were playing with Tordol, and she got that dare. What's even worse? At the time that happened we really did believe my house was haunted. And we left my friend in there chanting while we went and got drinks and brownies from downstairs. She screamed bloody murder when we came to get her. It was hilarious.
Cookie thing: With every fic I've written for well over a year I have offered cookies for characters with reviews. Basically when you review you put who you want to give a cookie to in it. So for example:
"(some sort of review stuff)... And I want to give my cookie to (Character) for (just about any reason. Hell, you don't even have to have a reason...)" (Really creative right?)
There are some rules:
1. One cookie per review.
2. Cookies can be split between however many characters you want. (I've had 1/16s of a cookie before)
3. Cookies must be given to people. Not inanimate objects. (This rule was inspired by reeby10, who in the past has given cookies to tables, sandwiches and even a coffin.)
So leave some suggestions and some cookies! Thanks and have a great day!
Edit: Due to an EXTREMELY positive response there will definitely be a second round. (Just don't expect any plot...) It might take a bit though, because December is here, and I have christmas fics to write. (5 gifts, and 2 random christmas fics, plus 2 FrUKs I want to write... x.x ) But there will be another chapter, and possibly another character. (The character I want to add I don't know very well, so I'll have to read some stuff with him in it...) Please leave pairing request, suggestions, or anything, and I'll try to work it in!