Title: Alive
Author: nyxwolff
Rating: K+
Movies - Donnie Darko
I do not own Donnie Darko, this is for pure entertainment.
A/N: This is my first crack at a Donnie Darko fanfic. I've always felt this strong connection towards the relationship between Cherita and Donnie and decided it would be my guinea pig. Please review, it would be much appreciated!
Cherita Chen's POV


I don't remember when I realized I was in love with him. Maybe it was when he smiled at me after I awkwardly read that stupid flashcard about Juanita and her math test. Or when he told me to go home when the bus hadn't come yet. Perhaps it was before that. It had to be before that because his smile, his words, those were all from a dream.

What is certain is that I love him, or more loved him. He's gone now, Donnie Darko. He died just the other day. When I saw all the cars, heard the sirens, that giant hunk of metal looming over the street like a dark reminder, I knew that he was dead. I can't tell you how I knew, I just did.

It was the night before Donnie died. I woke up from a dream, although it didn't feel like a dream at all. It was when he smiled at me, when he told me to go home. Those felt so real, those felt like moments that made me realize I loved him. But how can a dream make you feel that way about someone?

I miss him, I miss him everyday. That new girl, Gretchen Ross, sits in his old seat right in front of me. She didn't even know him and she's sitting in his seat. I watch her turn her head to the right to look out the window and just stare off into thought. I wonder what she's thinking about. Maybe the dead body that used to sit in that seat.

I bet Donnie would have liked her because she's so pretty. He would have never liked me, even though in my dreams he acted like he did. I can still recall his husky voice, the intensity of his blue eyes as he looked me dead in the eyes and said, "I promise, that one day, everything's going to be better for you." But how can leaving me be better for me?

I tore off the brown paper around my text book that had 'Donnie Darko' written in read ink on its face and tucked it away in my drawer. Somehow, I can't bare to look at it anymore without bursting into tears. It felt so real! I could see him, walking down the sidewalk with my favorite fluffy earmuffs on in the middle of October so clearly it was like a snapshot taped to my eyelids.

My heart feels like it's going to explode as I take in each breath. As I close my eyes before I go to sleep, I see his smile, the smile from my dreams, and drift off into soundless sleep. I don't dream about Donnie, not since the night before his death. I don't want to dream about him though. The way I keep him alive is by still loving him, even though he's gone.