Disclaimer, en faux-française: ZEY ARR NOT BELONGING TO MOI! *--SOB! C'est un chose horrible, n'est-ce pas?

Also known as: The One Where Alcohol Results In An Irishman's Implementation Of Bad Wizarding Pick Up Lines

"Have you heard of Platform 9 and 3/4? Because I can think of something else with the exact same measurements…"

The lilting Irish voice cut through the noise of the crowded bar in the centre of the Parisian counterpart of Hogsmeade , but twenty-two year old Gabrielle didn't bother to turn from her conversation with her best friend, Celeste.

It was the fourth pick up line in less than forty minutes. Previous lines included: "my love for you burns like a dying phoenix", the presumptuous "I must have had some Felix Felicis, because I think I'm about to get lucky", and, her favourite so far, "are you using the Confundus charm or are you just naturally mind blowing?".

"Bonsoir, Seamus." Her apparent disinterest did little to dissuade the inebriated fellow, who began to fiddle with her hair, running his fingers through the soft blonde strands.

Gabrielle Delacour had first encountered the Irishman, one Seamus Finnegan, at the 1994 Tri Wizard Tournament in England, where her elder sister, Fleur, had been chosen by the Goblet of Fire to represent Beauxbatons in the three extremely dangerous – and, as it turned out, Voldemort-infiltrated – tasks required of the Champions.

Seamus, the obnoxious and endlessly entertaining Gryffindor, had unintentionally caught the young Parisian witch's eye during the second task. Or, at least, afterwards, when she'd been heroically rescued by Harry Potter and deposited with her sister.

Wrapped up like a Christmas present, Gabrielle had been smothered in hugs and kisses and then left alone while the older girl went to lavish similar attentions on the Boy-Who-Lived.

Shivering madly, Gabrielle hadn't known what to do other than stay put.

Several minutes later, Seamus – excitable, friendly Seamus – had seated himself next to her and handed over a steaming mug of cocoa, a crooked smile on his features.

He'd stayed with her until the majority of the hullabaloo died down, but didn't say a word; his presence was comfort enough. When he'd left, he'd ruffled her hair and given her a cheeky wink.

Years passed, and Voldemort was finally defeated by Harry Potter and the side of the Light, before Gabrielle stumbled upon the Irishman once again - entirely by chance. A fortuitous meeting, in a tiny Wizard-owned coffee shop near Shell Cottage - the residence Fleur shared with her red headed, Weasley husband, Bill.

Surprisingly, Seamus had been at the exact right place at the right time, seamlessly extricating the beautiful Delacour witch from the unwelcome advances of an unattractive, prematurely balding wizard with a horrendous false French accent who was considerably, and depressingly easily, affected by Gabrielle's inexorable Veela charms (inherited from her Grandmother).

The unforeseen liberation had resulted in an invitation for coffee, which had led to several invitations over the next few weeks for lunch and, eventually, dinner. His company was pleasant, and always enjoyable; Seamus was full of stories about his closest friend, Dean Thomas, and was always ready to animatedly retell the shenanigans to which they got up to – both at school and in more recent times.

Speaking of Dean, Gabrielle realised, the dark skinned Englishman was supposed to be looking out for his mate and keeping him out of trouble (so she didn't have to). She swivelled in her chair, avoiding Seamus' hands, and spotted the amateur baby-sitter at the bar, where he was suavely engaging a curly haired brunette in conversation. She was tempted to interrupt, and have Dean carry out this agreed duty, but the girl's sincere pleasure at the attention persuaded her otherwise. Instead, Gabrielle apologised to Celeste and fixed Seamus with her attention.

"Why, Seamus, is zat a wand in your pocket, or are you just 'appy to see me?" She smirked, pushing down the embarrassment at using such common language as pick up lines while she leaned back to rest gracefully against the table.

Giving her a quirky grin, Seamus bent down to whisper in her ear.

"It's whatever you want it be, sweetheart." He breathed. It would have been seductive, except for the vague slurring caused by the alcohol. "Either way, the 9 and ¾ is still relevant." The wink that followed was positively lecherous, but Gabrielle couldn't help but release a silvery cascade of laughter.

It was one of the things she loved about Seamus – he could always make her laugh, no matter the situation.

Sending a succinct message to Dean with her stunning, ethereal, swan Patronus – telling him to relax and enjoy the rest of the evening – Gabrielle excused herself from the gathering and bundled the slightly wobbly Seamus out the door, into the mild night air, so she could Side-Apparate them both to her penthouse.

When they appeared inside the front door, the jackets were placed on the rack and Gabrielle ducked into the kitchen to grab a bottle of Hangover Potion, leaving Seamus to make his way into the lounge area.

She handed him the tiny bottle, watching as he downed it in one, before banishing the empty vial and joining the, now sober, man in the lounge.

"I sought you 'ad decided to give up on zose cheesy pick up lines since you realised you already 'ad zee prettiest witch in Paris." She breathed, as Seamus leaned forward and pressed kisses to her neck. His breath was warm and she could smell his cologne and unique, distinctly masculine, scent in the air thanks to his close proximity.

"I don't think I will if this is the result - besides, I thought you said that you wouldn't drop to that level." She could practically hear the smirk playing on his features. Seamus' hands began to wander, grazing her chest and causing the tips of her nipples to harden.

Gabrielle manoeuvred herself to a straddling position, indulging in a passionate kiss and pressing against him. His need was apparent, and she rolled her hips over him as he peppered her throat with kisses, making him gasp and causing her to moan loudly and throw her head back.

Seamus made quick work of her blouse, bypassing the buttons by tearing open the flimsy material and revealing her lacy red lingerie. The piece of clothing was discarded, flung haphazardly to land on the cabinet behind them, and was promptly forgotten as Gabrielle raked her hands upwards from his waist, dragging his shirt with them and tossing it aside.

Resting her palms on his chest, she moved her hips again, making Seamus buck slightly. Suddenly, he stood, grasping her waist tightly as she wrapped her legs around him, bringing their mouths together again to kiss heatedly.

They only made it to the wall, in the corridor leading to her master bedroom, when Seamus backed her against the wall, his mouth becoming increasingly demanding as Gabrielle willingly submitted to his ministrations, sighing into the kiss. The heat of their skin, pressed against each other, was reaching burning point and she bucked her hips wildly to try and ease some of the need pooling at her core.

Sensing her desperation, Seamus managed to stumble into the bedroom, depositing the witch onto the bed and falling with her to lie in the gentle curve of her hips. His hands returned to cup her breast before kneading them as their tongues battled for dominance, each flick against the other causing Gabrielle's core to tighten with desire.

Seamus laved warm, wet kisses down her neck and clavicles, down the valley between her breasts, before fumbling with the clasp of her bra; Gabrielle's hands were entangled in Seamus' sandy blond hair, fisting it as she released another wanton mewl.

Her hands moved feverishly to the Irishman's pants but he took over from her bumbling ministrations and divested himself of the restrictive jeans, freeing himself from its confines.

"J'ai -oh," Gabrielle gasped, "j'ai besoin de toi, Seamus. Maintenant." Losing her control she reverted to her native language. Manicured fingers raked down his back, marking his pale skin as the pair's exhalations mingled together with each passionate kiss. Seamus removed the remainder of her clothing, stroking up her thigh until he reached her slick folds. His fingers brought her to the edge, and her noises were becoming more desperate, encouraging Seamus in his actions.

"Baisez-moi." She whispered throatily, her dishevelled look completed by the halo of blonde hair that framed her angelic features.

Seamus didn't need to be asked twice; nor in English, for that matter. Sheathing his length in her willing body, she cried out in pleasure, enjoying the feeling of him wholly encased inside her. He grunted as he thrust into her, gripping her thighs painfully, but she couldn't feel it for the other, more satisfying, sensations that were successfully tearing her self control apart.


Gabrielle snuggled against Seamus' warm body in a lazy post-coital haze, feeling utterly sated. Stretching languorously, she giggled when Seamus drowsily tickled her stomach under the sheets as he ran his hand along the skin there, before slipping into a silken dressing gown and entering the ensuite bathroom to try and salvage what was left of her make-up after the evening's romp. It wasn't really worth it. She looked thoroughly shagged, and voiced the observation out loud.

"I like you like this, Frenchie." Seamus responded, joining her in the bathroom, enveloping her in his arms from behind and kissing her neck. "I especially like knowing it's because of me." He added mischievously.

Gabrielle automatically leaned back into his embrace, enjoying his closeness. Lifting a hand to caress the back of his head, she turned her own to catch his lips in gentle kiss.

"I love you, Gabrielle." Seamus told her sincerely when they parted.

"Je t'aime, aussi, Seamus." She answered with a contented smile, pulling his mouth back to hers, feeling light and happy, and as if joyful butterflies had erupted in her stomach.

Hmmm. Unusual pairing, but I like them. Seamus is awesome, and, well, Gabrielle is barely mentioned, so manipulation was rife! ^_^ Reviews would be nice, anyhow (I've not really written anything like his one before, so feedback would be nice).