Title: Verge of Something Wonderful
Disclaimer: FAKE and its characters are the property & creation of Sanomi Matoh. I am just borrowing them momentarily. All Original Characters that appear are my creation.
You can live an entire life and never truly feel alive at all. Sometimes a tragedy breaks down your defenses and the only thing left is the muted sensation of life washing over you, detached and aloof. Ryo supposed he had a bit of both working against him and he used his work as a detective to fend off the weight and the quiet. Dee, however, made it difficult to hold the thin line between deliberate repression and Ryo living through his work. Dee lived intensely and with vindication, his middle finger raised and at ready for anyone or anything that thought he would ever go quietly into that good night. He had a way of crashing into boundaries that you let you know that even if he apologized it was deliberate and he wasn't the least bit sorry. Dee made everything difficult, Ryo should be exasperated with him and his antics and disregards, but Dee made Ryo feel 'something', unnamed and confusing. It was a hint of smoke and the smallest lick of a flame in the damp coolness of his quelled inner sanctuary, having felt it Ryo wasn't convinced he could do without it, wasn't positive he would rather give it up than risk being burned by it. Being burned was something at least, it had as much vitality to it as it did destruction, it lit nerves and teased receptors, it felt akin to being fully alive, if painfully so. Ryo wanted so badly to feel all the things Dee could make him feel but was equally as scared and cautious.
Such inner chaos has a way of working itself into our daily lives, tendrils of forgetfulness, moments of a drifting mind when attention was called for, and minor mistakes that compile into larger and larger problems. Ryo knew he was slipping up at work, not so much or so dangerously that a person's life or a case were jeopardized but enough that both Commissioner Rose and Chief Smith had taken notice. Predictably Rose was all too eager to play it off as Dee's bad influence and worse behavior, a convenient excuse for breaking into the partner's work together and inserting himself in between them. Chief Smith being both older and more experienced with the type of man Dee was suspected Dee was at the root of it as well just not in a way that his Commissioner would be happy to hear about. It was Ryo's good fortune that it was the Chief who called him on it first even if it was utterly abrupt. Ryo stood on the roof, staring out at nothing, listening to nothing, losing himself in the white noise of traffic and city life, letting the one sided conversation play over and over again in his head.
"You have to choose Randy. Either you get your act together and figure out what you want or I'll have no choice but to split you two and if I do, as much as I hate it, it'll be you that gets transferred. Laytner's a pain in the ass. Rose is too. I partner you with anyone else and there will be no peace for you or the department, it'll be an all out war between those two meatheads with you as the prime objective. " Chief's thick hand held in the air had cut off any reply from Ryo. He didn't say anything else, ignoring the blush staining Ryo's face and neck, and dismissed him.
He had to make a choice, it made no difference that he hadn't asked for this, that he wasn't ready for this, it hadn't mattered that he wanted his private life to remain so or that he had asked for neither of their attentions. Chief knew it was harder than a simple choice, if Ryo completely rejected Dee their partnership at work would collapse, if he accepted Dee's advances, Rose would find out and split them up. He would lose Dee either way but if he didn't make a choice he would be transferred out of the department he was committed to and away from Dee. Rose was never in the running but nothing could convince him otherwise, not even Ryo's fist, his continual manipulations and grandstanding had aggravated an already precarious situation causing Dee to push Ryo harder. Everything was coming undone and part of him hated both men just a little for putting him in this uncomfortable and uncomfortably public place.
He just didn't know what to do. Everyone wanted him to know, right here, right now, so that their lives would be easier and they all wanted him to choose in their favor. He didn't want to lose Dee as a partner at work, he didn't want to lose Dee as a friend, he wasn't sure he was ready to be Dee's lover, wasn't even sure of his own sexuality anymore, so how was he suppose to make a decision? Maybe it would best for everyone if he quietly put in for a transfer and hoped that it would not bring down Rose on his head or Dee on his back. He was still mulling over things when the door to the roof banged open and Dee walked out calling to him.
"Hey dude, Chief's looking for you again, says he wants to talk to both of us about a special assignment. Said to come find you and drag your skinny butt back into his office. I tried to tell him your butt wasn't skinny but he said that was too much information." Dee pointed a thumb over his shoulder towards the door and cocked an eyebrow. "You comin'?"
Ryo frowned but pushed himself off from the ledge and followed Dee back inside. "Yeah, I coming Dee."
Later that night, after all the necessary phone calls were made to assure Bikky would be taken care of, after Ryo had once again given into to Dee sleeping on the couch, Ryo sat up alone in bed, flipping through the assignment folder again and wondered just what their Chief was up to with this. Tomorrow he and Dee would be taking a trip down into the coastal southern states to check out unexplained disturbances in a house that was being renovated by a retired commissioner as a vacation rental property. Apparently the gentleman still had significant clout within the police department and was a good friend of not only their Chief but several members of the Mayor's office, enough pulling power that two NYC detectives were being sent on a two week trip to play at being glorified security guards.
This was most definitely not detective work, not real detective work anyways. Chief claimed it was because him and Dee were the only ones without a currently pressing case having just come off a joint operation with the FBI which left them at a standstill until the Feds were done. He didn't believe that was the only reason. He couldn't decide if he was being punished or if Chief thought it would give him the time to figure things out with Dee. Ryo put his glasses and the folder on his night stand and turned out the light. Rolling over on his side, he settled down for the night, willing himself to get some sleep. Tomorrow had all the signs of being a very long day, possibly a very long two weeks.