Disclaimer: RESPECT, dudes... respect

The room was dimly lit. A metal table was at the center, with 14 around the table. A single glass was sitting on the table, filled with Ponta. It was now time for the individual questioning to begin. Mac let the interviewees sip a little bit of the Ponta; every single one of them. Mac started off with Fuji Syuusuke:

"Where were you this morning at around 10?" Mac said, facing Fuji in a hunched position.

"I was taking pictures of my cacti in my room," Fuji said, flashing that innocent smile.

Mac intensified his gaze. "What exactly is your connection to Ryoma Echizen?"

"He is my teammate. I can't say we're really close though, but it doesn't mean that I'd have a motive in forcing him to kidnap someone – and a chicken at that."

The detective eased a little bit and said, "You may wait outside." He gestured to the bolted iron door. To his surprise, Fuji stayed on his seat.

"I would not go anywhere unless you tell me that my teammates will be safe," he said, his striking aqua eyes surveying Mac's face.

Mac sighed and said, "I assure you. Oh and by the way, a bear, a swallow, and a white whale are waiting outside for you."

With that, Fuji closed his eyes, smiled, and left.

(Interview with Oishi)

"Excuse me, sir, but what exactly is going to happen to me?" Oishi said, fidgeting in his seat.

"Don't worry, son, you'll be fine as long as you tell you truth."

Oishi sighed, brows furrowed. "I'm afraid I can't do that, sir. I can't tell you about the time my dad tried being a barber. I can't tell you about the time Tezuka laughed; it was when he heard me singing karaoke. I can't tell you how much Eiji means to me. I can't tell you how good a secret keeper I am. I can't. I just can't."


Oishi slowly raised his head up, looked into his captors eyes, and dramatically said, "I am Oishi Shuichiro, and I am a true friend!"

"Okay, you may go."

Oishi started. "I can?"

"Thanks for being truthful."

And so, Oishi left the room, baffled, perturbed, and utterly pleased with himself.

He was a good boy. He'd better have a nice haircut after this.

(Interview with Inui)

"How are you related to Ryoma Echizen?"

There came no reply from Inui. He just sat there, staring blankly into space without his glasses on. Mac waved his hand in front of Inui's face and tried to slap the boy out of reverie. But to no avail.

Finally a breakthrough: "All is lost. I can't live anymore. No more data, no more info, nothing!" He started crying. "I see a light. It's so bright! Is this the end for me?" Inui smiled, completely out of his mind.

Mac slapped his forehead. He took a pair of glasses out of his pocket and gave it to Inui. "Put it on," he said.

Inui did, and suddenly he changed. "Did you know that most people use only 10% of their brains? But I personally don't believe in that for in every action, there is a corresponding electromagnetic charge from the brain and, according to research, we use 15% of our brains even at rest!"

Mac slapped his forehead again. "This is going to be a long day," he thought.

So he let Inui go, seeing that talking to the boy would be pointless.

(Interview with Horio)

Up until now, Horio is still wetting himself. It must be because of the Ponta.

"I would like you to leave this room this instant! You're making it musty!"

Instead of doing what he was asked to do, he wetted himself even more, then he fainted.

Another facepalm.

(Interview with Sakuno)

"You're pretty, aren't you?" Mac said, rising from his seat and walking over to Sakuno.

Sakuno bowed her head and said, "Get away from me, creep!" There was nothing normal about the way she said it. It was fierce, strong, and threatening even. Not like the usual Sakuno.

"And feisty, too. What exactly is your relationship with Ryoma Echizen?"

"That's not your business. Stay away from me." She said, swatting away Mac's hand.

Mac squinted his eyes, and said, "You better watch your tongue, missy."

Sakuno stared back, her eyes fired up with anger.

(Interview with Shishido)

"So... what do you think of my hair?" Shishido said, flipping his hair to the right.

"I think they're pretty," Mac said mockingly.

Shishido blushed. "You think so?" He tucked his hair behind an ear, then he got hold of himself. "Hey! No one calls my hair pretty other than Choutaro!"

"Okay I take back what I said. I think they're hideous."

Shishido cooled down a bit and said, "I can go with pretty."

"So who is Ryoma Echizen to you?"

"Well, he called Atobe a monkey king... so he's fine with me. No point in kidnapping a chicken, though. I mean what sort of idiot would waste time in kidnapping a chicken instead of fussing with his hair. Tsk tsk. He obviously doesn't know how to prioritize."


(Interview with Yukimura)

"Good afternoon, sir," Yukimura smilingly said. He's just so charming in his own way.

"Good afternoon yourself. What do you know about the chicken?" Mac roared, apparently losing his temper with this bunch of probable hostiles.

Yukimura touch a temple thoughtfully. He thought hard for a minute or two then said, "I do know that it tastes good with gravy. Have I told you that Sanada makes good gravy? And he looked so cute with an apron on while making gravy. If you ask me, Sanada is pretty much like gravy." Another smile from the almighty captain of Rikkai University.

At one end of the room, Genichirou Sanada did the most impossible thing for him to do: he actually smiled. This must mean the situation is extremely dire.

(Interview with Sanada)

"It's your turn, Gravy. Hit me with your best shot."

"You seriously don't want me to do that," Sanada said, who somehow recuperated from the smile. I'm sure his facial muscles hurt a lot after that.

"Well, who is Ryoma Echizen for you?"

"He is a brat. That's all I can say."

"Okay, Gravy. Whatever you say."

Sanada smiled again. Oh no. This looks really bad for our characters. Two smiles in one hour? It has to be a world record!

(Interview with Shiba)

"You know, Mac, you can always just set me free then I might give you a once-in-a-lifetime chance to go out with me." Then came the awkward silence. "I'm not as old as I look, you know!"

"We'd better get you some medical attention right now."

(Interview with Coach Ryuuzaki)

"Coach Ryuuzaki, what do you think of Ryoma Echizen?"

"I'm gonna have to say that he is a lot better than his perverted father. Did you know that that old geezer used my credit card to order his porn magazines online? When I found out, the publisher of the magazine thought I was a lesbian! The nerve of that bastard!" With her eyes and veins popping out, Mac decided to send her to Germany to undergo rehabilitation. She had anger management issues.

(Interview with Shinji)

His nose was still bleeding so Mac let him go. Which was a good choice since if it were not for the nosebleed, the interview would not be finished until the next month.

(Interview with Sengoku)

"Do you still think that you're lucky?"

"Yes, compared to Echizen. If he was after the ransom, he should've just went to me and maybe some of my luck would've rubbed off on him!" He laughed, rather loudly that in some other room, Ryoma felt that he was being mocked.

(Interview with Kevin Smith)

"How are your sunglasses, Kevin?"

"They're fine, aren't you, my Sunny?"

"What sort of person names his sunglasses?" Mac thought.

"So about Echizen—" Mac said, but Kevin cut him off.

"He's a good player. But I didn't think that he'd be so low as to kidnap a chicken."