Cat and Mouse

Disclaimer: I don't own any material contained within this story. All copyrighted content remains the property of the person, people, or organization that holds the copyright. This story is solely for fun.

AN: Well, I've had a few people ask me about what Steve and the vampire kitty (from "Integra's School Daze") were up to by the time the regular Hellsing series started. And I always love to pick on the Twilight faux 'vampires'. So, I figured why not kill two birds with one stone, so to speak. Hope you all enjoy.

PS. I'm still kind of iffy about filing this as a crossover since the only 'Hellsing characters' are OCs. But the vampire cat plays by the Hellsing rule book. So I figured it would probably be best to list this as a crossover. Anyway, on with the fic...


The young doe ran as fast as it could, its little heart pounding in its chest, but it was hopeless. There was no escape, and as one of its pursuers pounced and pinned it to the ground, the cute, little animal suddenly became very aware of this fact.

Still, it struggled, pointless as it was. And it continued to do so until the monster's mate appeared by her side. Then the two grinned down in psychotic glee and tore open the innocent creature's neck. It's blood gushed out; and as the two monster's began to lap at the thick, red liquid everything went dark.

After a few minutes, Carlisle and Esme raised their heads from the deer's drained carcass. They looked at each other and saw the fresh blood still covering their faces. Smiling happily, the two leaned in and began to slowly, sensually lick each other clean.

The two Cullens had decided to go on a second honeymoon and were taking a tour of Europe. They were currently in England, specifically a large forest area nestled deeply in the English countryside, and had been enjoying themselves immensely. As much as they both enjoyed their 'kid's' company, it was nice to get away every once in awhile and have some time to themselves, to simply be husband and wife, not father and mother.

The licking trailed downward, towards each other's mouths; and soon: lips parted; tongues dueled and eager hands began to grope sensitive flesh. Not a word was spoken. The two didn't need words; rather they laughed, grunted and moaned their mutual approval. However, before things could proceed any further the sound of an explosion pierced the air.

With puzzled expressions the two broke apart. "What was that?"

"I don't know... but it sounded close."

"Do you want to check it out?"

"I think we should, don't you? Someone might be hurt."

Esme smiled. "Always the helpful doctor," she replied in a teasing tone, and then the two dashed off in the direction the explosion had come from.

About another mile into the densely packed forest rested a house which appeared very out of place. It was a decent size; and a number of lights shown through the large windows, obviously powered by some kind of generator since there were no power lines for miles. Perhaps the most unusual feature about the house though was the number of craters which surrounded it.

The area resembled a war zone, save for the absent dueling armies. But upon closer examination, Carlisle noticed that many of the craters had plant growth within them. Clearly they had not all been created recently, but rather their existence must have stretched back over a number of years.

There was a human scent in the air, but it was isolated, alone. There were no armies in this place, just one lone human and... something else. Carlisle caught the hint of another scent, a strange one which he could not identify. Curious about this scent, the Cullen began to silently approach the house, his wife following after.

He got to within fifteen feet of the building, but then a black blur descended from above; and before Carlisle knew what had happened a stinging pain shot through his cheek. Surprised, his hand went up to the fresh wound while his eyes drifted downward to spot a black cat now standing in front of him, its head bent down at an angle.

Esme ran up to her husband as she saw him clutch his cheek. "Oh, Darling, are you okay?" she asked as she gently pulled his hand away to find the cut already healed.

"Fine," he replied. "But that shouldn't have happened. No animal can pierce our skin." No sooner had the words left Carlisle's mouth than the cat looked up at him, and he saw that it was no ordinary animal. Its pupils were red, and two sharp, pointed fangs protruded over its lower lip. "What? A... a vampire cat?"

The animal hissed loudly and took off through the forest, Carlisle and Esme both following in pursuit of this strange creature. They ran as fast as they could and discovered that they were marginally faster than the beast. However, it was more limber and dexterous. Every time one of the Cullens thought they were about to catch it, the cat managed to narrowly avoid their grasp. And so the strange game of cat and mouse continued, and the three creatures of the night were pulled further and further away from the mysterious house.

After a quarter hour of 'play' Carlisle once again had the animal nearly in his clutches, his wife's inability to quickly adapt to the shifting evasion maneuvers having caused her to fall a little behind. But just as before, the cat managed to elude the Cullen once more, quickly jumping into a tree and following the crisscrossing branches of the forest to quickly circle behind Carlisle and drop into an old, abandoned, thatch-roofed cottage.

Having temporally lost sight of his target, Carlisle stopped, paused and sniffed the surrounding air, trying to pick up the animal's trail once more. And he did. The Cullen turned and detected the vampire cat within the old cottage. And this time, it seemed to be staying put.

Slowly, Carlisle crept into the dark cottage, searching for the cat, but what he found was completely unexpected. "Well, well, I haven't had a chase like that in quite some time... congratulations," a mysterious voice cooed out from the shadows and then a very bizarre, yet somehow enticing looking creature stepped forward, into the moonlight cast through one of the cottage's windows.

The creature possessed the form of a woman, a beautiful, exotic woman. However she... 'it' still bore some trace feline features. Atop her head rested two black, cat ears. The vampiric red pupils of her eyes were surrounded by a sea of yellow, and the eyes themselves retained their feline shape. In lieu of regular clothing, the creature's... 'most private areas' were concealed by strips and patches of thick, black fur-- the only traces of it left on her body. And finally a long tail trailed behind her as she slowly stalked up to the stunned Cullen.

"What's the matter, cat got your tongue?" she purred as she reached him.

Her tail wrapped around the upper part of Carlisle's leg. And then, a long, claw-like, nail emerged from her right index finger. She ran it slowly along the underside of his jaw, applying just enough pressure to create a lightly erotic stinging sensation.

"What the... what's going on?" a familiar voice called, snapping Carlisle out of his stupor. Esme had finally caught up and it seemed she was rather unhappy with the scene that greeted her upon entering the cottage.

"Um... this... this is... I think it's the cat we were chasing," Carlisle replied, doing his best to quickly explain the situation to his less than happy wife and repeatedly fumbling his words in the process.

"Right you are," the creature chirped happily, her previous seductive demeanor instantly vanishing into a happy, (almost giddy) care free one, as she left Carlisle's side and glided gracefully over to his wife. "My name's Bastet," she continued extending a hand.

Esme took the hand and smiled at the other 'girl', though the wife's eyes were filled with venom. Who did this 'person' think she was kidding? Esme had seen how this girl was practically hanging on her husband earlier, and the female Cullen didn't buy the creature's 'lets be friends' attitude shift for a second.

"Bastet? Wasn't that the name of an Egyptian goddess?"

The cat-girl nodded happily. "Yes, and Greek too – a cat goddess of the moon, a war goddess and protector of her lands."

"Bastet? The name translates to 'female devourer', right? What a strange name for someone so... cheerful," Esme replied, her voice innocent and sweet, while her eyes shot daggers at the other girl. "So, what is it you devour, honey?" she continued in a joking tone that belied her 'dig'.

"Souls," Bastet responded, her tone still happy-go-lucky – as if what she said was as common and everyday as stating one's favorite pizza topping. Somehow that served only to make the declaration seem more ominous, and both Cullens felt a small chill run down their spines.

"So... you're a goddess?" Carlisle eventually asked, breaking the creepy silence that had hung between the three since Bastet's last statement.

The cat-girl giggled. "Oh, my no," she replied as she glided back over to the male. "I'm a cat," she continued, her previous seductive demeanor beginning to rise to the surface once more. "A cat who enjoys playing with her... prrrrey," the creature purred into Carlisle's ear as she locked eyes with his, now openly, glaring wife.

But before Esme could react, Bastet drifted away from her husband again; and the fickle cat-girl looked as though she'd completely lost interest in the cottage's other two occupants. "But, I grow tired of this game," she said with a slight sigh. "Time to end it." And with that the cat-girl faced the two Cullens and pursed her lips as if expelling cigar smoke.

However, rather than smoke, a black shadow flowed from her mouth. It settled on the floor in between her and the cottage's other two occupants. And then, from the darkness pinpricks of red light emerged, and slowly the shadow – which Bastet was still adding to – began to form shapes around those pinpricks.

Dark, monstrous, demon-like creatures took form. They vaguely resembled rats, hamsters, birds, chipmunks and a few larger animals. But these apparitions were not at all cute or cuddly, rather they conjured up thoughts of what animals from Satan's petting zoo (were the devil to ever have such a thing) might look like. And, as they emerged from the shadowy mass, they advanced on the subconsciously retreating Cullens.

One large, deformed rat over took the others, and bit into Esme's perfectly shaped legs, eliciting a shrill shriek. Carlisle managed to pull the wretched thing off of his wife; but a small chunk of her flesh came with it, a chunk which the nightmarish rodent was only too happy to masticate and swallow. Disgusted, Carlisle quickly threw the rodent away as he and his wife turned to run as fast as they could – the army of dark, twisted critters snapping at their heels.

Bastet grinned for a brief moment, and then her humanoid form gave way to that of the black cat the two Cullens had been chasing, and she crawled out of the cottage. She didn't give chase herself, but rather headed off in a different direction, back towards the house the Cullens had first seen her by.

The intruders were gone and would not return. Either they'd manage to outrun her pack of familiars... or they'd soon join it. Either outcome was acceptable, for the cat knew that she'd fulfilled her duty. Her geeky master was safe – just as her sire had instructed her to keep him – and could continue his classified weapons research and testing without fear of discovery.


(Well, there you go. While Hellsing's doing battle with Millennium, Steve's still making guns for Hellsing; and Bastet is protecting the little geek... and scaring the crap out of American faux 'vampires'. Hope you enjoyed. Please leave a review and let me know what you thought. Thanks.

Have a good day, and God bless.

Metropolis Kid.)

PS. Thanks to Lila for informing me that the Twilighters *somehow* DON'T have blood... and for helping my out with Esme's jelousy scene (sorry I forgot to footnote that in V1 :P).