Author's Note: Well, I was working on the next episode of SG-20 when the idea for this fic just sort of came to me. So I typed it up, and here it is!

If you give an SG team super-glue...

General Jack O'Neill should have known better than to sign SG-5's requisition form for fifteen cases of super-glue. However, he had, and the results were...interesting.

The following list appeared on the wall of the mess hall the next day.

***************Things you are not supposed to do with Super-Glue**********************

1. Do not glue the doors to Carter's lab shut.

Two hours later, SG-5 was still in hiding, and the doors had to be cut open.

2. Do not glue every artifact in Daniel's lab to his desk.

The normally mild-mannered archeologist had been... slightly ticked off. To say the least.

SG-5 had been informed of that fact in twenty-eight languages, including ancient Sumerian.

3. Do not glue the General to his chair.

General O'Neill was extremely startled when four people rushed to his office, talking rather loudly, and picked him up out of his chair, spread super-glue on said chair, and dumped him back down in it before rushing out.

It was an hour before Carter discovered him, glued firmly to his chair wrong-way-up.

4. Super-glue is to be kept away from Teal'c at all times.

The Jaffa had been extremely displeased to discover all his candles glued to the ceiling of his quarters.

Well, "Extremely Displeased" was putting it lightly.

5. Do not take super-glue through the 'Gate!

The natives of P3X-486 were going to cancel the trade agreement – as soon as they un-stuck themselves from each other enough to write.

6. Putting super-glue on the shower knobs is unfair, unethical, and probably illegal.

Daniel had been stuck for three hours.

7. While it may be funny, putting super-glue on the infirmary beds is not permitted.

The Marines of SG-3 had sworn revenge on the perpetrators of the highly embarking prank. As soon as they got themselves out of the infirmary, that is.

8. No gluing Siler's wrench to the floor.

The unfortunate Sergeant was still trying to pry his prized tool from the floor, muttering about how he was going to use it on the next person who mentioned super-glue.

9. I don't care what your reason was- glue and the 'gate don't go together!

Carter had thrown a fit. As had the Stargate. It was no longer talking to the computers.

10. Do not glue SG-5 to the ceiling!

The entire team had been found, glued to the ceiling of the briefing room.

Author's note: Well, what did you think? Wonderful? Horrible? Send me a review and let me know!