Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, I would not be on Fanfiction.

Hiya peoples! So um... read my story and comment please! This is the first of hopefully many mismatched stories. I love cracky fiction, so reader, read on!!!!!1 But it's a one-shot unless you likey, but I wont know unless you comment, now will I?

Hello and welcome. Please keep all limbs and/or appendages inside the boat at all times. Enjoy the ride. ;]

Temari and Suigetsui

[Fangirl and Waterboy]

Blondie was worse than Red. Worse. Seriously. How was then even possible? All she did was bitch and moan – and not in the good way – all day and night. Bitch's cuttin' in to my beauty sleep. But worst of all, the thing that just annoyed the living hell out of me, it was about nothing. 'Pick up thins.' and 'throw away that.' and my personal favorite 'get your ass out here – did you do that? That is not ware your underwear go! I am not your mom!' Duh bitch. I never fucked my mom, now did I?

"Suigetsui! Get. In. Here. Now." aw, shit. "NOW!" ugh. I still hear her voice ringing in my head. I hate her – and may I saw masculine – voice. If I hadn't experienced ti first hand, I would not believe she was a women. "Suigetsui!" ugh. I trudged out of my – our – her voice corrected living room and into the bathroom, towards my unavoidable doom. Heh, sing the doom song. I peered through the door. "What the fuck bitch? You know those things coming out of your torso? Their legs, use 'em." She glared at me, hands on hips. Oh no. I'm going to miss the light. "There are no bitches here fuckface. Now tell me, what is that?"

"Are you stupid? Its a shower." She huffed. "I know what it is –"

" – then why ask?" She grit her teeth. I hate to say it but its really hot when she's pissed. "I know what it is, what is in it?" I peered over her shoulder and into the stall, it was covered in blood. It looked like someone was murdered in it, and guess what? Someone was. "Blood, you that dumb Blondie?" I could literally hear the snap, oh there was a disturbance in the force. "How many times do I have to tell you DO NOT CALL ME BLONDIE." shit, she blew a fuckin' ear drum. "Volume control, ever herd of it?" If I'm gonna die, may as well have fun, right? "Shut, the hell up!" She shoved a rag into my hand. "Clean it up!" she ordered. "That's woman's work. What are you pmsing?" and that was the last thing I said before she knocked me out. I'll take that as a maybe.

Fifteen minutes later I woke up from my brief bout of unconsciousness. Whatever, it doesn't make me less of a man. But, I think I'll clean the shower. "Are you up yet you sissy?"

"More question? Well," I said pointing to the rag "this is a rag," I pointed to myself. "An this is –"

"A soon to be castrated man?"


"Pussy." I sighed. "Well, I'm out," she leaned against the wall "So am I." I grinned. 'Wanna fuck?" she smiled. "Clean out the shower." Score. She pretty hot when she's smiling, it's such a rare thing. I finished up the shower, and threw the rag in the sink. "Finished."

"Did you use bleach?" she yelled. "What the fuck do you think I am? A maid? Do it yourself."

"I didn't do it!" she screeched. "I shouldn't have to!"

"Heh. At least I moved the body." Then she came a stompin' in. "Yeah, this time!"

"Eh. Live and learn." She glared. "Whatever, I don't care, now get out." Didn't need to tell me twice. I walked back into the living room, and switched on the T.V. Finally some peace and quiet. "SUIGETSUI!" Shit. I forgot. I put the body into the towel closet.

Hope you enjoyed!