All the Answers

The guests on the chat show were all created by Tolkien.

"Welcome to "All the Answers" Middle-earth's premier chat show, where you, the reader send in your questions and our illustrious guests answer them. I'm your host, Linda the scribe."

"First in the spotlight is the King himself, Aragorn Elessar. Welcome, Aragorn and please take a seat."

"Only my friends call me Aragorn. You can call me Lord Aragorn, Lord Elessar, my lord, or sire."

"You have too many names, so I'll stick with calling you Aragorn. Aragorn, Mistress Dreamflower desires me to ask you, Aragorn, whatever were you thinking when you banned men from the Shire?"

"The Shire had been overrun by evil men during the Ring War. I felt it necessary to protect the Hobbits."

"But Hobbits aren't nervous children. They drove out the evil men on their own.

"The Rangers have always protected the Hobbits. It is the King's duty to do so, all the more so now that I usually dwell in Gondor. Someone might exploit them if I do not

"Did you ask the advice of the Mayor and the Thane before passing such an absurd decree."

"I cannot recall, but they are my friends and trust my judgement."

"We'll move on to the next question. Mistress Shirebound asks, Aragorn, where do you and your Rangers get your boots? They must be very sturdy and comfortable. Do you wear socks or hose? How difficult was it to remain hidden while helping guard the Shire?"

"Every Ranger village has its own cobbler who is skilled in boot making, but most of my boots were made at Rivendell by the Elves who are the most experienced and skilful folk in Middle-earth. I always wear socks; they are much easier to change than hose when they get sweaty. Sometimes it was difficult to remain hidden while guarding the Shire, but most of the time it was easy enough as the Hobbits were too preoccupied with their own affairs to notice the discreet guard upon their lands.

"Thank you, Aragorn. We'll move on to your final question now. Mistress Erulisse asks you, Aragorn, in the middle of hiding from enemies, you and Gandalf have a habit of reaching for your pipe. What in the world made you think that the orcs, etc, wouldn't be able to smell pipeweed when the scent is so pungent and lingering?

"In retrospect I realise it was a foolish thing to do. We were fortunate, as the Enemy knew nothing of pipeweed to realise the odour signalled our presence. I would like to note for the record that since I married the fair Evenstar I have not touched pipeweed as she believes it a most unhealthy habit and cannot abide the smell.

"Thank you, Aragorn. And now we move on to our next guest, Queen Arwen Evenstar. Please take a seat next to your husband, Arwen, Mistress Dreamflower asks you Arwen. tell me of how you made the standard- what materials you used, what methods, how long it took you...

"The standard was made of materials known only to the Elves, of a cloth similar to your velvet but far more hard wearing and long lasting. I embroidered it with mithril thread and precious gems and pronounced many incantations that the Powers would protect my beloved while I worked, which became part of the fabric of the banner. I worked on it secretly for forty years all the while dreaming that we would one day be wed."


Welcome back after the refreshment break to "All the Answers", the only and best chat show in Middle-earth. I'm your hostess, Scribe Linda. We are honoured to have as next guests The Lord Faramir, Steward of Gondor, and Prince of Ithilien and his wife Lady Éowyn. Please take a seat next to your lady, Faramir.

"Only my friends call me Faramir. You can call me my lord or Lord Steward or Lord Faramir."

"Don't be so stuck up, Faramir. I can't remember all these titles. Now, Faramir, Mistress Shirebound asks Faramir, whose house did Gandalf and the hobbits live in, in Minas Tirith. Were there guesthouses? You certainly got everything organized quickly.

"My father owned several good properties in the city and after his um, unfortunate demise, his property passed to me. The King asked me to find a fair house for his friends to dwell in and I endeavour to serve him as efficiently as I can. There are guesthouses in the city, now we are at peace, but I felt the king's friends to whom we owe so much deserved better.

"Thank you, Faramir. The next question comes from Mistress Dreamflower. Faramir,describeyourmeetingwithFrodoandSam,andtotellmeyouthoughtsofthemwhenyoufirstsawthem?

"I was puzzled by them at first as I had never seen Halflings before. It were as if an old tale had come to life before my eyes. Yet, there was something about them that drew me to them, their great loyalty to one another, and their great courage. I sensed their hearts were honourable and true and decided to help them."

"The last question for you, Faramir, comes from Mistress Marta. She asks;Faramirasyouhadan,err,rathertumultuousrelationshipwithyourownfather,whatwasyoumostworriedaboutwhenyoubecameadadforthefirsttime?

"I do not talk about my father to any save those most close to me, but I will tell you that I was determined not to repeat his mistakes and love all my children equally. I was pleased, though that my firstborn was a girl as little girls were a completely new and most wondrous experience to me. When Elboron arrived, I took great care that she did not feel neglected and that he was surrounded with love too. I intend to bring up my children firmly but fairly and encourage them to follow the path that their hearts desire. My son can be either a soldier or a scholar and my daughter shall marry whom she chooses, or no man at all.

"Thank you, Faramir. Now I have some questions for your wife, but you are welcome to stay and enjoy the rest of the show. Mistress Dreamflower asks, Éowyn,tellmeaboutthedifferencesinyourlifefromRohantoMinasTirithandIthilien.

"I was eager to leave Rohan as it had become like a cage to me under Wormtongue's influence, but when I lived in Minas Tirith I feared I had exchanged one cage for another. The woman of Rohan have considerable freedom and are accustomed to managing our menfolk's affairs while they are away. We also have our horses. In Minas Tirith, the horses were stabled out of sight and the high born women treated like ornaments. There were times when I felt like returning home! When my husband and I moved to Ithilien, though, I found true happiness. I was mistress of all I surveyed and could ride through the fields and woods whenever I pleased. I am truly happy raising my children, studying the healing arts and breeding horses."

"Mistress Wiseheart has a final question for you;Éowyn,wouldyouhavemarriedBoromir,haditcometoanarrangedmarriagebetweenGondorandRohan?

"Before Wormtongue pressed his unwelcome attentions upon me, I would have said no. I heartily disliked the man. He was much too full of himself and it was rumoured that he had not kept himself chaste for marriage. However, if I were forced to choose between marrying Wormtongue, or marrying Boromir; Boromir would have been the lesser evil of the two."

"And now to show that Middle-earth Answers has a policy of diversity and non-discrimination, we are delighted to welcome Ambassador Tahir and his lovely wife all the way from Harad."

"We make our home in Gondor now, esteemed Scribe Linda"

" Mistress Ellynn wants to know whoareyourbestfriendsinGondorandwhatdoyouthinkaboutthem?"

"The esteemed Lord Faramir is dear as a brother to me. May he always dwell by an oasis! He took the trouble to learn the tongue of Harad to greet me and saw that I was treated well when my accursed dogs of fellow countrymen plotted against esteemed Lord Aragorn. We share many interests, enjoy a game of chess and both fervently desire peace. Esteemed Lord Aragorn is another good friend and often invites my lady and I to dine. They are both as my brothers and I have shared the Hamam with them both. They are the best of men, noble and honourable with hearts like pure water from a desert spring."

"And who are your friends, Adiva?"

"The most esteemed Lady Arwen is very dear to me, may the sun's rays never burn her! She took me under her protection when my dear Tahir was under suspicion and as treated me as kindly a sister. Our children often play together. She is fair as the stars and filled with wisdom and sweetness. I love esteemed Lady Éowyn too and we enjoy riding together and talking about horses. Another dear friend is Dame Ivorwen from the Houses, who has delivered my babies born in Gondor. I fear she finds our customs strange, but she is ever willing to visit my humble home and share tea and cakes with me."

And now our final guest for today is the Witch King of Agmar. Would my other guests please remain seated and put your swords away. We have supplies of athelas on hand if needed under the health and safety regulations. Witch king, Mistress Deepseasiren has a question for you Sodude,doyouregretbecomingoneoftheRingwraithsbytakingtheringtobeginwith?":)

"The Ring is precious. What can compare with the Ring? The Ring is all, there was nothing before the Ring, there is nothing but the Ring. What are regrets? I have forgotten. I know only the Ring. Precious, precious Ring!"

A/n A big thank you to everyone who asked the questions.
This concludes the Me-chat show. If you would like further instalments, simply ask some questions!

The answers are based on Tolkien's books and the sub universe I have created for my stories.