Hey guys, here's my latest Mamma Mia fic, was only going to be a oneshot but having sent it to Mel yesterday, she convinced me to carry it on a bit further so thanks a lot darling *hugs and kisses*
Also, this is dedicated to my friend Stella for letting me use her idea, thanks darling *hugs*
Just a warning, M-rated content guys, if you don't like, don't read, its that simple ;)
Neither Forgiven Nor Forgotten
Summary: Donna goes to clean herself up after her cannonball into the sea and contemplates which one of the three guys could be the father of her child. Sam goes to see her and sparks fly between the two former lovers but will she ever be able to forgive and forget the heartache he caused her all those years before?
Donna sat upon the chair near the dressing table in her bedroom, gazing downwards at the four photographs in her hand; one of Sophie as a baby and one each of Sam, Bill and Harry, the three potential fathers to her only child. She herself had absolutely no idea why on earth they had chosen today to make a reappearance in her life, the day before her daughter's wedding. Her first thought was that they had come to gatecrash the wedding but, how would they have known? She knew she hadn't invited them and of course, it never crossed her mind that her own daughter had been so deceitful and read her diary before taking it upon herself to invite the three men to her wedding and back into her mother's life. After all this time, she still had no idea which of the guys had fathered her child, she'd never allowed herself to dwell on it for too long, knowing that she couldn't change what had happened in her past, she could only make the most of this precious gift that one of those men had given her; Sophie. Donna sighed to herself as she gazed once more down at the pictures in her hand, running a free finger along the faces of each of the men in turn; Sam, Bill, Harry. Three summer flings, three totally different experiences and one of them was her baby's father, she just had no idea which one. As she ran her fingers along the faces of each of her former lovers, Donna closed her eyes, reminiscing, allowing herself to be pulled back in time by the memories that each photograph brought with it. Her fingers lingered upon Sam's picture for a lot longer than either of the other two, a sure sign of the intense form that their love had taken in the few days that they were together, before his secret tore them apart. She screwed her eyes tightly shut as the memories of her time with Sam washed over her like a tide, causing tears to well up in her eyes, partly due to the sadness that she felt at letting him go all those years ago but at the same time, she regretted allowing him to take her for a fool, she regretted falling for him so hard, in short, she regretted him. Out of all the regrets she had about that summer, Sam Carmichael was the biggest regret of all.
Donna sniffed slightly as she attempted to regain a stranglehold upon her slightly wobbly emotions, she wiped away her tears and took a deep breath, she wasn't going to let the arrival of these men put a dampener on her daughter's big day, she wasn't going to let them win, she had to be strong in the face of possible adversity, they couldn't see the trail of emotional destruction their arrival had caused. Little did she know that one of the men had witnessed her nearly-silent contemplation, and seen the true impact that his departure from her life had had upon her, and now, he was going to put it right, or at least attempt to do so. "There's a sight for sore eyes if ever I saw one," the voice murmured.
Donna jumped slightly, unnerved by the presence of another in her personal space. Her grip upon the four photos in her hand slackened and they fluttered to the floor. She turned around and her jaw dropped when she saw Sam stood in her bedroom doorway, his eyes fixed intently upon her. "What are you doing here Sam?" she questioned, not making any effort to keep the animosity out of her voice.
"You know what I'm doing here Donna, I came here to see the island," Sam lied, knowing that he couldn't tell Donna the real reason he was here, he had promised Sophie after all.
"You really think I believe that Sam? Why are you here, and don't give me all this crap about coming to see the island because we both know that's rubbish,"
"Why didn't you tell me it was Sophie getting married?" Sam asked, completely ignoring Donna's question.
"Because it's none of your business," Donna snapped at him, "what my daughter does or doesn't do with her life is no concern of yours."
"It's not Sophie I came here to talk about, I came to talk about us," Sam said calmly, once again, dodging Donna's utterance.
"There is no us Sam, you saw to that twenty one years ago," Donna replied as she stood up, tightening the dressing gown around her naked body beneath, "you left me, remember?"
"I remember," Sam murmured quietly, "that summer, I made the biggest mistake of my life by leaving you behind."
Donna snorted, "I'm not listening to anymore of your lies, your excuses, anything," she said, "I'm over you Sam and I'm not letting you deceive me again."
"If you're so over me Donna, how come I heard your tears barely ten minutes ago?"
Donna stood stock still, thinking fast, "memories," she muttered, "memories of that summer, with you. I wish I could look back upon that summer with fondness, but I can't, all I feel when I look back upon that summer is regret, I regret ever falling for you in the first place, I regret everything that happened between us that summer."
Sam moved towards her, closing the bedroom door behind him as he gazed into her eyes, not breaking the searing gaze that he had initiated. He soon stood barely millimetres from her, her breath hitched in her throat, excited by the fact that he was in close proximity to her, her heartbeat had begun to race and he smirked, knowing that his actions still had the same effect on her now as they did twenty one years previously. Sam kept his gaze fixed on upon hers for a few more brief seconds before his lips moved closer to her ear, finally, he spoke, "they say that the eyes are the window to the soul and from here, I've got a clear view. Yes, you may regret everything that happened between us but I can still see the love reflected in your eyes, you can't hide that," he muttered to her, "if you're so over me, then how come your heart's racing so fast at the fact that I'm here, so close and not touching you, you want me to touch you, don't you Donna? You're yearning to feel my touch again, aren't you? You're desperate to feel my lips against your thigh, my hand upon your breast, my tongue inside your warm moistness as I give you an earth-shatteringly spectacular orgasm, the likes of which you will not have experienced for so many years. You want this too, don't you Donna, tell me it's not just me."
Sam pulled back and smirked triumphantly at Donna's now slightly flushed complexion, her gaze now locked with his and his triumphant smirk spread wider across his face at what he saw, her eyes were several shades darker than they had been, blazing with lust for him, fuelling the already scorching fire between the two of them. It didn't help her resistance that he was only stood before her in pair of shorts, he just looked so irresistibly sexy, just like he had done back in the day, she mentally scolded herself as her mind conjured up images of all the bad things she would like to do to him. Donna knew, deep down, she'd regret it once it was done but now, she was so hot and aroused for him, she just needed that release, and he was there to give it to her. Donna remembered only too well her declaration to her back-up girls earlier that day, that the sex part of her life was over but she hadn't counted on this thing happening between her and Sam, sparks were flying between the two of them, making it impossible for them to ignore the inevitable. "I want it too Sam," she gasped out loud, "God, I want it sooo bad."
Donna's words were the unravelling of his self-control as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him, he responded by wrapping her arms around his neck, giggling slightly as she felt the true extent of his want for her pressing against her thigh. "You like that, don't you?" Sam murmured huskily to her.
Donna moaned out loud as she threw her head backwards, giving herself up to the feelings of intense pleasure and arousal that were surging through her body, "God, I do Sam, I want you soooo badly, I shouldn't, but I do," she gasped.
Sam smirked once more at her, ignoring the last part of her last utterance and crashed his lips down onto hers, his tongue swept across her bottom, asking for entrance but she took too long to grant it to him and so, he prised her lips apart and his tongue dived inside and began to dance with her own, battling for control of their fervent game of tonsil hockey. All of a sudden, Sam pulled away and Donna gasped out loud, almost in frustration as he'd broken their flow of passionate kisses. He smirked at her before unwrapping his arms from around her waist, his hand made its way upwards, tracing his finger along the V of her robe, Sam saw the effect his ministrations were having upon her body, her nipples stood erect beneath the material, he grinned broadly, she could protest all she wanted but the protestations were nothing, they were merely a front masking her true desires from those who didn't know her quite so well as he obviously did. Sam's hands eventually ventured further southwards, towards the knot which Donna had tied in the belt, holding the material over her naked body beneath. His hands deftly undid the knot and pushed the material apart, revealing her nakedness to him for the first time in twenty one years. Sam's hands ventured back upwards, to her shoulders and slowly but surely slid the material from her, the silky smoothness of her skin allowing it to glide from her body with ease and pool at her feet. His gaze left hers and trailed down her naked body, taking in every curve that this gorgeous woman possessed, her beautifully full and pert breasts, her stiff nipples, stood erect from the breasts after the pleasure he'd already exerted upon her seemingly compliant body, his gaze trailed further downwards, to her perfect hips and then to her thighs, in between that, taking in her womanhood, the place that his fingers and tongue wanted so desperately to penetrate more than any other, they would get their wish, in time…
Sam spun her around so that she was no longer facing him and he set about removing the towel from her hair. Eventually, he removed it and her hair into a bounce over her shoulders. Sam wrapped an arm firmly around her, pulling her closer to him again, she gasped breathlessly as she felt his obvious arousal poking into the curve of her backside through the thin material of his shorts, the only barrier between them and the end product of this liaison. His free hand pushed her hair away from her neck, grazing the sensitive skin with his fingertips and leaving it burning for more, his touch, seemingly engrained into her memory. Donna threw her head back against his shoulder and moaned, knowing that there was very little point in containing her lustful desires for him now, she had well and truly lost the battle to keep her desire for him under wraps, he'd made her succumb and now, they both knew they were there, there was no point in hiding it. Sam followed up his touch by pressing his lips to the join between her neck and shoulder, burning kiss after kiss into her searing flesh. His free hand fluttered slowly across her bare skin, moulding to her breast, his thumb circling her already stiffened nipple, teasing it further and further into hardness. Donna moaned out loud once more as she felt the familiar knee-buckling wave of desire shoot through her body, making her even more aware of the tingling sensation between her thighs, she wasn't going to make him aware of how badly her body was craving him, how desperately she wanted to feel his member buried deep inside her warm moistness, she wasn't going to tell him that, her body had already betrayed her enough as it was. He smirked into her skin, knowing his ministrations were having the desired effect. Sam removed his hand from her breast and immediately, Donna missed the contact, she was pining for it. The hand that had previously been resting upon her waist now moved and took up position upon one of her upper arms, his other hand rested upon her other upper arm and he lifted his head from where it had been nestled comfortably in the join between her neck and shoulder. Sam glanced around her bedroom and saw a full-length mirror in the corner, a filthy smirk crept across his face as a thought came into his mind, he kept a firm grip upon her upper arms, guiding her towards the full-length mirror and stopping right in front of it. He moved one of his hands back down to her waist, leaving the other one resting upon her upper arm, resting his chin against her shoulder, gazing back at the reflection that stared back at them both. "Do you want me to tell you what I'm going to do you?" Sam murmured huskily, his lips so dangerously close to her ear. She nodded her head, not trusting herself to speak, her voice would give away the depth of her desire for him, his hands moved from her waist and upper arm respectively and moulded once again to her perfect breasts before leaning downwards slightly to whisper in her ear, "I'm going to nibble your ear, I know how weak that makes you feel and then, my thumbs are going circle your nipples, teasing them even further into hardness,"
He then followed up his words with the corresponding actions, his lips caught her earlobe between his teeth, licking and biting the skin he had at his mercy, Donna gasped out loud as she felt his teeth grazing her skin, in exactly the same way he had all those years ago, he was right, it did still make weak at the knees. At the same time, his hands gently caressed her perfect breasts as his thumbs painstakingly slowly circled her nipples, causing them to harden even further, arousing her even further. "Oh God, Saaaaaammmm!" she moaned, "more please!" she practically begged him, moving her head slightly to the side so that she could look at him.
Sam grinned broadly at her and gently kissed her forehead, he was only too happy to comply with her demands. His hands ventured further southwards once more, one came to rest upon her waist while the other continued further down, finally coming to rest upon her inner thigh, where her skin was moist and warm, burning for his touch. Donna's breathing steadily became more and more laboured as his fingers moved closer and closer to where she wanted him the most, "look in the mirror," he whispered into her ear.
Donna complied and turned her gaze to the full-length mirror, she saw their reflections staring back at her, Sam's lips were buried just above her shoulder blade, Donna herself looked on the verge of orgasm already, and they'd barely done anything, her face, neck and breasts were flushed, her eyes almost black, such was the depth of her desire for him, her eyelids heavy, lips parted and lax and her body was trembling with anticipation. Damn him, why on earth did he have to be so God damn irresistible and sexy? Why did he have such a hold over her? Why was there such electricity between them, why did she seem to lose all control of her senses when he was around? She had no answer; she could barely think straight right now. Sam flicked his gaze briefly upwards, catching sight of her reflection in the mirror, the sight of her like that caused his erection to harden even more, seeing her in such a heavily aroused state turned him on more than anything else he'd seen or experienced before. Sam's fingers slowly, deliberately, traced the outline of her entrance before penetrating her core roughly, in compliance with her earlier demand and his fingers drew slow, tantalising circles against her ----. Donna threw her head back once more and gasped out loud as a sharp wave of pleasure shot through her body, "you want me, don't you Donna," Sam muttered into her ear, "you can't wait to feel my length penetrating your warm, moist womanhood, I'm going to make you scream my name as you experience that earth-shattering orgasm that I promised you I would, more than once, if you like."
"Oh God Saaaaaaaaaammmm!" she moaned out loud as his fingers continued to delve deeper into her core, searching for the spot that would bring her unspeakable pleasure when he'd finished toying with it.
Donna spread her legs wider, attempting to accommodate more of his dexterous fingers as they finally hit the spot and worked it, slowly but surely. She was almost there, at the edge of an abyss, her thighs were shaking, she could barely breath, could hardly see, due to the thick fog of lust and longing clouding her mind and at that moment, Sam withdrew his touch from her and she moaned out loud, her sexual frustration getting the better of her. He smirked into her shoulder blade and began to move her towards the bed. pushing her onto it, revelling in the way she bounced as she landed upon the sheets. Sam soon hovered over her, his face level with hers, one knee in between her legs. His lips pressed a kiss to her jawline before showering her neck, shoulders and chest with tiny kisses, Donna wanted to scream, but she held back, she'd scream the place down she Sam had given her the release she so desperately craved. He spread her legs still further apart before kneeling between them and allowing his tongue to penetrate her womanhood, delving deeper in its attempt to finish the work that his fingers had already started, her hips bucked upwards with every movement of his tongue inside her smouldering core as it continued to penetrate her deeper. His tongue found the spot and worked it, slowly diligently until he heard…."SAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMM!" Donna screamed as her orgasm completely engulfed her.
Sam's tongue stayed inside her for at least a minute, lapping up her feminine juices. Once he finally removed his tongue from her core, he crashed his lips down onto hers, prying her lips open and forcing his tongue through the small gap he'd created, allowing her to taste herself upon his lips and tongue. "You still want this, don't you Donna?" Sam murmured seductively into her ear.
"Oh Jesus Sam! I do, please, do it now," Donna gasped, once again practically begging him to put her out of her misery.
Sam smirked playfully at her, turned on evermore by her eagerness. He moved downwards and removed his shorts, kicking them aside, knowing that Donna was too highly aroused to do it for him. Sam hovered over her, continuing to smirk playfully at her before reaching down to grasp his erection in his hand and allowing it to brush against her entrance. Donna threw her head back against the covers in frustration, he was making her wait, hadn't he teased her enough already? "Sam pleaseeeeeeee! Don't make me wait," she begged him, unintentionally giving away the true depths of her desire for him.
Sam looked at her and smirked tauntingly at her, "you want me badly, don't you Sheridan?" he mocked her, still teasingly brushing his member against her entrance.
Donna nodded, knowing there was no point in either lying to him or trying to cover up the true extent of her wanton desire for him, the façade would crumble within seconds. "Please," she begged him once more.
Sam smiled at her before finally putting her out of her misery and entering her, he didn't move for several seconds afterwards, just allowing her time to get used to his presence. Finally, he began to thrust in and out of her quickly, not bothering to start slow, knowing she wouldn't appreciate it, Sam knew she'd see that as him teasing her some more and he knew, he knew he'd put her through enough of that already. Donna's legs wrapped themselves around Sam's waist as his lips met hers in a passionate kiss and his tongue immediately dived into her mouth, seeking out hers and proceeding to dance gleefully around it. Inevitably, the speed of his thrusts began to gather in pace and he drove himself deeper into her womanhood, she met everyone of his quickening thrusts with a buck of her hips as together, they hurtled ever closer to the finishing line, that point at which their minds would be torn to shreds by the brute force of the orgasm that would inevitably engulf each of them in turn. "Faster Sam!" she begged him.
He nodded, wordlessly complying with her demands. He quickened his pace even more, causing their hips to crash together more frequently than before. Donna pulled his face back down to hers and kissed him passionately, moaning into his mouth with every thrust he made. She arched her back towards him, allowing him to penetrate her still deeper as their lips became entangled in a flurry of passionate kisses and Sam continued to thrust harder and faster inside her, bringing her closer and closer to that abyss once again with every movement of his hips. Sam felt her pressing against the base of erection, he was fully inside her and soon after, Donna's back arched even further towards him and her feminine walls began to clamp down around him, she soon felt the warm tingling sensation beginning to stab at her body. "God Sam…I'm almost there," she gasped out loud.
Sam nodded in response, "me too," he murmured.
One more thrust of his hips was all it took for her to reach her earth-shattering orgasm. "SAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMM!" she screamed out loud once more as, for the second time within the space of fifteen minutes, her orgasm completely overcame her.
"DOOOOONNNNNNNNAAAA!" Sam moaned out loud as he came, barely seconds after her, ejaculating deep inside her womanhood, the tension in her walls helping to ease him through his own climax.
For several minutes, they lay there in silence, allowing their breathing to even out into some form of normality. Soon enough, Donna came back down to planet Earth and, as she'd predicted, the feelings of regret came flooding back to her, why had she done it? Why had she given herself up to him again? "What happens now?" Sam asked, somewhat tentatively, obviously nervous about what she was going to say.
Donna pushed him off of her body and scuttled across the room, retrieving her robe and pulling it tightly around her naked body. "We carry on like nothing's happened, this doesn't change anything Sam, I still want you off this island and it definitely doesn't change what I said, I still regret everything that happened that summer, I mean it Sam, nothing's going to change just because we've just now had sex, it won't, accept it and move on Sam,"
"I can't Donna, I love you, you drive me completely crazy,"
"You don't love me, you said that all those years ago and you lied to me, how can that be love?"
"Would you have given me a second glance if you'd known the truth right from the start?" Donna didn't respond, that to Sam, was tantamount to her answer, "I thought as much," he murmured sadly.
Donna sighed, "how can I ever trust you again Sam? You lied to me once, what's to stop you doing it time and time again?" she asked, "I gave myself up to you once before and had my heart torn apart, I don't think I could take it again," she added, "I'm sorry Sam but…you know, its for the best," she finished.
Donna wandered towards her bathroom and opened the door, closing it behind her without a backwards glance, hoping that Sam would be gone by the time she emerged.
Comments please? Not sure when the next part'll be up :)