The Most Shitteous Craptastic Cuddlecock Crack Contest 2009


The Worst Story Ever Contest


Penname: GEM1588

Pairings: Sam and Jake, Sam and Paul, Jake and Paul, Jared and Sam, Jared and Jake, Paul and Quil, Seth and Leah

Summary: The LaPush Pack discovers that they all inkpimped because they are really gay

Disclaimer: When I found this contest and read the entries I literally laughed out loud. I agree there have been some hard to read stories posted on Fan Fiction. My personal favorites are the poorly written SLASH fics. So I humbly submit this story. It is the only SLASH piece I will probably ever write, so please read, cringe and review.

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight

My brother owns the word "inkpimping"

Thank you to JaspersDestiny for hosting this contest

To read the other contest entries please visit http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2150031/

i luv u nessie jake isad as he hung up on the phone

i cant weight 4 nessie 2 growed up so i can fuck her he tole sam

jake and sam were at sams shouse bev=cause sam tod jake eh had to xplain inkpimping to him sicne he inkpimped on nessie

sew yiou wante dtyo talk to me sam sed jake

yes jake i have to talk to to youabout our shap shitter inkpimping

nessie is my inkpimp what ekse so i need two no

do u no y u inkpimped its becaise u r gay

im not gay

yes u r only gay shap shitters inkpimp im gay 2

so were both gay

ye sjake and now we have to but fuck each oitehrt

wont taht hirt

if itas your fist time it wuill but ill make sue to to use alot of lotion in you ass

ok sam i truss u

sam took outy a big biottle of jertghens and and rubbed ut in jakes ass tehn stuick his dick in 2

jake howled aroooo aroooo

then sam had a organism and he stupped

its you tuirn to butt fuck me nwo jake

sam goty on hims kness and letjake stik his dik in hisbut

oh jakie but fuck me mor sma yeled as jaks dick went in and out of his poop shoop

teh jake pulld out his dick and cummed on sams asshole

he stuk his finger in it and and likked it

i taste good samie wnat soome

and sam said yes so ujake stukk his fingr insams mouth

mmmm sam said

then emily came home and said what are u 2 dping

were inkppimping becuse were gay

ok but dont get any cum stanes on my stuf

she went intothe kitchnand startd coking

sam i tink i like this jake sayd lets go but fick paul and jared snce thry inkpimped 2

ok bing the lootin

so sam n jake went 2 jakes hoouse wheer paul was wit rachel

rachel guess wat paul isa gay shap shitter jake tole her

im not gay paul shutted and pinched jake

jake pinched hims back and then they wason the flor nekked

rachel said i dont want 2 see u butt fuck ech other and she leff

sam seen paul and jakes dick n got hard

letzs all butfuck nopw he tole them


sam wante dto fuck paul 1st becuse hsi ass was tite lik jakes

so he took teh lotin and put in in paulys tite hole

jakey jerkd of while sam fucked paulys ass

then jakey fucked pauly while sam jerked of

finally pauly tole them tha his ass wuz sore so thy stuppd

lets fine jared now

so thy wet to kimz crib and jared wuz theer eating piza

im hungary sam sed

me 2 jake sed

so thy all ate piza

den pauly sad to jared were here to butt fuk you

jareds knot gay kimz tole thm

yes he is pauly tole here

only gay shap shitters inkpimp sam said

so im gay jared said becuz i inkpimped on kim


i hate u kim said and through her peetza at him then she leff

ok guys lets butt fuck jared

no jared said i want 2 butt fuck all of u

my butt is 2 sore siad pauly

ok why dont u go fine quil so i can but fick him sicne he inkpimped on claire

sam n jake git on there knes n let jared stik hsi dick in there asss

jakie said arooooo aroooo

samy said i luv ur cock

then jarod cummed

that fell so good jared siad 2 tmhe i lick beeing gay

they all layed in a big nekked pile n went 2 slep

when pauly n quil got back 2 kimz crib the ofter guys wer sill slepin

so pauly sed to quil u shoudl suk my dick

quil said ok and sucked pauls dick unti he cummed in quils mouth

quil likked his lipz u test good pauly

thx quil let me tast yio now

pauly sucked quils dick but whin he serted cumming paukly choked on it

dam that wuz alor of cum quil

thats cuz i waz a virgin

u r a v sweete i pooped ur cherri

im glad it waz u an dnot jake quilt tole him

im gald it me 2

hen thye hugged

then embry came in da crib n said waz up wit da inkpimping

pauly sed shut up embry u r not gay like us so git out o her

embry cryed like a pussy why r u guys so mean 2 me

becuze we hate u now go the fuck home pussy fucker

but i want 2 be like u and butt fuck

u cant b elik us becuase u never inkpimped so u r not gay

but i want 2 be gay like u guys

embry tok of his shots pleaz fuck me quil and paul

no u like girls

embry tried to kiss pauly but pauly punched him in the face

u r so butch pauly quil said as he gabbed paulys dick and started likking it again

can i watch embry axed

i dont care pauly said

mmmm pauly i luv the taste of you dick

quil you suck dick so goos im gonna cum uh uh uhhhhh

pauly cummed in quils mout as embry jerkd off

can i suck a dick pleaz

embrys wineing woked up jake

u can suck my dick embry

and jake stuck it in embrys mouth

ew embry said u taste like a ass

all teh shap shitters laffed at him

go home embry you losser

com bak whin u inkpimp on a girl

embry cried agin and lef the hous

seth saw him cryin and said hey em whtas wriong

im usch a losser i didnt inkpimp n now im not gay pluss my ma is a ho


i want to suck dick and but fuck

why i think pussy is better


yeah u ever eat pussy


ok less go bak 2 my howse

they went bak to seths howse n leah was home

spred yoor legs bitch seth tole her


im gonna show embry how to eat pussy

ok leah puled up her dres and shwoed them her cunt

embry starred it becuase he aint seen a pussy befour

seth stuk his face betwen her lgz and ate her pussy

leah screamed lout o sethy u eat my pussy so good

embry look at them

you turn embry seth sed whipping the pussy jooce off his mouf

wait a sec u just ate you sistas pussy

so she sux my dick

do u have sex 2

leah n seth lookd at ech othr

ewww no that woudl be insects

Now that the eye rape is over - please review and remember to read the other entries (which are much better - I mean worse - than this!)