A/N: Hello Everyone, and welcome to Yuletide Carols.

This "story" will be continually updated throughout the month of December as often as I can make songs and get them typed up.

On that note, these songs are inspired by (obviously) holiday song soundtracks, school renditions of these songs, and composed with enormous help from my brother.

They have built up over the years and have descended into the...lyrics...you see below.

Please note that most of these songs are humorously intended. I have no intention of offending anyone, anything, any religions, or any relatives.

Further warning: do to personal experience, I advise that you use discretion when you decided to break into altered lyrics. Not everyone enjoys a good ruining of words, meter, and rhyme...or the fact that some of these get stuck in your head with ridiculous ease.

For anyone reading "A Lightning's Tale", I'm sorry about the slow update. Real life came calling, and its far harder to deal with than usual. I will do my best to update the story before New Years, but I can't promise anything right now. Please be patient.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own any Middle-earth subject or any holiday songs. Butchered lyrics are all on me, though...

Twelve Days of Yuletide: Dark Lord Style

On the first day of Yuletide, the Dark Lord gave to me…

A Balrog with a fire whip.

Two dark towers,

Three Silmarils,

Four ghastly goblins,

Five Mumakils (Mu—ma—kils),

Six saucy spiders,

Seven Palentir,

Eight barrow wrights,

Nine nasty Nazgul,

Ten tyrant trolls,

Eleven deadly dragons,

Twelve wroth wargs,

Note: Dark Lord is meant to be taken as Sauron, but really, it could be anyone...

I'm attempting to work on a "light" rendition of this song. It's not working. Writing for the dark side is so much easier...they have cooler and more numerous creatures.