Title : A Beautiful Day
Author : DnKS – giRLs
Rating : PG13, for Xanxus and Squalo's mouth, or to be more precise, the words coming from said mouths
Character(s)/Pairing(s) : Xanxus and Squalo
Disclaimers : The characters involved in this story do not belong to us and we hold no claim over them.
Warning : Er… cursing, them being Varia members, Xanxus and Squalo did need to be warned about in themselves, though.
The first sentence that come from Squalo's lips when he was allowed to speak was, "Firstly, it wasn't my fucking fault, got it?"
Xanxus narrowed his eyes. That did not sound like a good start. But if he were to be honest, he'd admit that he would narrow his eyes at his underlings, good start or not. Oh, the fun of being a mafia boss, even if his underlings were closer to resemble some cracked up family members than deadly assassins. He did not mind the part about 'cracked up family members', though. He had enough brain to acknowledge the fact that all members of his so-called family were cracked up, and he was okay with that. Talk about understanding, he thought with a snort. Those pricks from the department of human rights better saw his case before they started mumbling about things like equal chances in work. Bah!
"Just fucking spill it already, trash," he snapped. "You're wasting my time."
Squalo seemed very tempted to argue, but he somehow resisted the urge. And Xanxus began to get really pissed. Normally, Squalo would never pass any opportunity to bitch. So if he somehow refused to let out his trademarked several-minutes-long-non-stop rant, there had to be something terribly wrong.
"Well, it's those fucktards from the delivery, that's for sure," Squalo said. "You can kill them, be my guest."
He took his gun from his holster and shot. The bullet landed on the wall, barely missing Squalo's cheek. He tsk-ed. Somehow he debated if it was a good thing or a bad thing that his underlings seemed to possess such great reflex.
"What the fuck!" Squalo screamed. "You shot me!"
Xanxus readied his gun again. "And I'll fucking shoot your balls next, bitch. Spill it!"
Squalo let out a long sentence that somehow sounded like '', but after he took a deep breath, he said, "You remember that fucking order you placed?"
Xanxus frowned. "The whiskey and leather coat?"
"The goddamn meat," Squalo nearly screamed. "The fucking prime quality tenderloin whatever-the-fuck-is-that with a fucking ridiculous price with too many zeroes. Remember that?"
Thinking back, he did remember that order. Yes, he was craving for some good steak. Real steak, not those half-charred leathery things they used to give him lately. Honestly, Xanxus thought, they had grown so very tactless in trying to poison him. Charred steak, he snorted.
The cooks were fired, of course, after much lashing.
"Yeah, what about that?" he demanded.
"It's those fucktards' fault, I tell you," Squalo said. "They just… fucking misplaced it or something."
That had Xanxus undivided attention.
"Misplaced it?" he asked in what he presumed as dangerous tone. He had practiced to make it perfect during that stupid phase of his teenage years. "They fucking misplaced my order?"
"That's what I'm tryin' to say and it's not my fucking fault, okay, if you want to kill someone, kill those dickheads," Squalo muttered. "Don't kill the messenger."
"They misplaced my order," Xanxus said with a snort. "They fucking misplaced my goddamn order. Those vermin! Those motherfucking useless vermin!"
"I tell you," Squalo said. His voice sound tighter than before. "Don't kill the fucking messenger! Christ! Why do you fucking look so mental just because of some slimy pieces of meat?!"
"Those slimy pieces of meat are supposed to be my dinner, you numbnut!"
"Oh, fan-fucking-tastic. Your dinner. Can't you just fucking eat whatever thing we're eating?"
"What? You mean trash?"
"You didn't even give a fuck when your men are blasted, and now you fucking mad because of some meat!"
"What? I need that goddamn meat."
"I'd say you care more about those goddamn pieces of meat than your men."
"And I'd say you're one hell of a drama queen," Xanxus was tempted to throw up. "Bitch."
There was a sound of something heavy dropped on top of his desk. Xanxus frowned when he found out it was actually Squalo, who had just slammed his hands onto said desk.
"Fuck. You," Squalo intoned those words harshly. "I fuckin fight for you out there and now you're all about your meat. Fuck. You."
Xanxus sighed. It seemed Squalo was in his time of the month. Though he seemed to be having his episodes more often lately. He knew there was nothing he could do when Squalo was in his mood, aside from ignoring him, or, if he was feeling generous, sending him off to some mission which involved many explosions and stabbing-people-with-long-sword kind-of-business.
"Yeah, so what?" he asked. "You want me to fucking say you worth more than my meat? Sure thing. Fine. Hear me out asshole. I still prefer you over any meat. Satisfied now?"
Before Squalo could say anything, there was a soft gasping sound from the doorway that made them both turned their faces to the source of the sound. There stood Lusuria, with his sparkling pink feather boa. His hands were covering his mouth. And the expression on his face looked very, very creepy, in a way that a psychotic murderer looked creepy upon the sight of a willing victim.
"Oh my…" he said. Then the widest of grin spread on his face and he ran, cackling like a maniac and shouting. "Guys… I just heard bossu told Squalo that he would prefer his meat over any others~"
"What the…" Squalo began to say before his face contorted badly. He unsheathed his sword and began running after Lussuria. "Get back here, you fucking pansy, and see if your tight ass could handle my sword!"
"Ah, Squalo wants to put his sword into my tight ass~"
"That's not… you fucking thing. Get back here!"
Xanxus heard those two people shouting at each other before their voices trailed into silence. Yep, he thought, dysfunctional family members, they were. He knew for the next few days it would be a daily occurrence to see Squalo and Lussuria trying to kill each other. He just hoped that if they indeed shed one another's blood, they would not do it in the mansion. The last time Squalo had fought with Bel, they left the mansion nearly destroyed, and the fucking reparation was not cheap.
He leaned back to his chair. From his window he could see some fleeting shadow which somewhat looked like the image of Squalo chasing after Lussuria. He smirked. He thought about those stupid delivery guys and decided he could send Squalo to teach them some lessons. There was nothing better than some angry, bloodthirsty swordsman to do the dirty work. And it would leave all people happy since he would get his revenge and Squalo would have his fun stabbing those incompetent pricks.
Who cared about those delivery guys? Dead men did not get a vote.
And Xanxus sat on his chair, thinking over his day so far before firmly deciding that it was a really beautiful day.
(A/N: so… yeah… wish you all have a beautiful day too. If your day happened to be 'beautiful' but turned bad after reading this, then we're sorry. If your day becomes more 'beautiful' after you read this, then we're happy. And here we are rambling. So, like always, reviews would be much appreciated. Thank you for reading.)