Author Note: I have NO idea why I'm doing this. I have never written fanfiction in my life. I've never even read fanfiction before this show arrived on the scene. But "Glee", and specifically Puck and Rachel, speak to me! I feel like they NEED to be together. (Perhaps it is because Mark Salling is the sexiest man on the planet?) I don't really know my reasoning but anyway, this is my very first fanfic ever. I have a general direction for the story and will hopefully have time to continue it!
He was pretty sure Mr. Schuester was talking about a song. Madonna? Or was it the Jonas Brothers? It didn't matter, though, because Noah Puckerman wasn't hearing any of it. Yawning repeatedly until his eyes watered, Puck was relieved that this was the last class of the day. Then he could run home and sleep for an hour before he had "Anna duty" tonight.
Puck draped back in his plastic chair, his long, lean frame stretched out in front of him. His face molded into a crooked smile as he thought of Anna. Just two months old, she was very much the apple of his father's eye. She had her father's dark eyes and hair but her mother's nose and lips. Puck looked over at Quinn Fabray, Anna's mother, who smiled back at him. Just a few months ago, Puck was trying desperately to convince Quinn that he was father and relationship material. Once the true paternity came out, he survived an ass-kicking by Finn (which he totally could have won if he didn't think he deserved a fist in the face for screwing his best friend's girl and subsequently knocking her up and then lying about it for months), Puck and Quinn finally gave the relationship a go. Three glorious months later, Anna was born and Puck and Quinn had broken up for good, deciding they were awesome parents but horrible lovers. Now, they had an arrangement that, oddly, worked perfectly. Puck had Anna three nights a week at his house, Quinn had her three nights a week at her house, and they alternated the seventh night. Puck figured it gave them each a chance at getting virtually zero sleep and walking around the halls of McKinley like zombies. Despite his complete lack of sleep, he wouldn't change his life at all. Well, if he was honest with himself, he would probably have sex more. That had pretty much dried up. Fucking someone's mom was SO much less appealing than it used to be, considering he was a parent himself. Now, his former cougar-chasing antics kinda turned his stomach. Self-love was as much as he could muster these days. Wracking up sexual conquests took more energy than he had to give.
As Puck gathered his gym bag and guitar, he saw chestnut colored hair atop a tiny frame zipping towards him. Turning, he sighed, "Hello, Berry."
"Hello, Noah……" Rachel stood looking at him with wide eyes.
Puck was immediately annoyed. His jaw tensed up and his brow furrowed. He just wanted to go home and fall into bed, not stand here discussing choreography or the latest Broadway musical or some other non-important, sleep-depriving shit with his arrogant, babbling ex-girlfriend.
After a few long seconds of staring at her silent form, Puck barked, "You want something, Berry?"
Gripping her dance bag, Rachel's confidence seemed to falter a bit at Puck's gruff greeting. But a split second later, she had firmed her grip on her bag, brightened her phenomenal smile, and looked up into Puck's brooding eyes.
"Look, Noah. I, along with everyone else in Glee, can see that you are physically drained by the pressures of life as a single teenage father. And while your actions are admirable, you simply need a break. I know that you have Anna tonight and I wanted to offer my babysitting services so that you could get the proper rest. You do know that extended periods of physical exhaustion can be detrimental to your vocal chords. As a strong male member of this group, you owe it to yourself, and your fellow glee club members, to get proper rest and hydration."
As Rachel rambled, Noah stared at her like she was sprouting horns. Finally, he said, "huh?"
Rachel smiled. "I'm a certified babysitter, fully trained in infant CPR. I am simply saying that I would gladly watch Anna for you tonight if you'd like."
Puck threaded his fingers through his Mohawk. "Walk with me, Berry." As they made their way to his car, Puck said, "How did you know that I was alone at home tonight?"
Rachel held open the door to his backseat as he tossed his stuff inside. "From our brief union, I remembered that your mom works on Tuesday nights and that your sister attends a girls gathering at the Jewish community center. It is apparent that you will be unable to rest this evening and if Anna is even slightly fussy, your nerves will be even more frayed than they already are. You simply cannot live like that forever."
Puck stared at her. She remembered his family's schedule? Shit, he couldn't even remember the first names of her fathers, even though he was forced to eat dinner with them twice in the week that he and Berry dated. "You scare me sometimes, Berry. I mean you really scare me."
Rachel started to object to Puck's comment but he stopped her. "However, I am just exhausted enough to take you up on the offer. Be at my house at 5pm."
Rachel beamed at him, giving him a smile that made him think she'd just agreed to a Broadway contract and not to babysitting his infant daughter while he slept.
"Wonderful, Noah! I'll see you then!"
Only on his drive home did Puck realize that he probably just eliminated his chances of sleep for the night. Letting Rachel Berry into his house, who talked like there was an impending ban on big words so she had to get them all used quickly (and at the same damn time), was probably a disaster waiting to happen. But right now, there was pretty much anything he wouldn't do for sleep.
As Rachel walked toward her car, she couldn't conceal her broad grin. Great acting as usual, Rachel! Now tonight, put phase one of your plan into action! Rachel shivered with excitement. She was about to do something completely out of character and she couldn't wait.