Remember when I said that Hisoka was originally supposed to be a Mary Sue? Well, I liked her character too much to destroy it like that, so... here you go. I had a bit of trouble with this chapter, while trying to decide who exactly to introduce. Sorry, people...
(In parenthesis): Panda signs
Bold italics: Sound effects
I don't own Ranma ½.
Chapter 5: My One True Love – Part II
Sliding open the front door to the Tendo residence, Ranma called out, "I'm back!"
However, a strange sight met his eyes as he stepped into the living room. The draft from his dramatic entrance blew a thin sheet of paper the size of a person into the backyard. A light wind picked up, carrying it over the wall where it slipped out of sight.
"Oh my," Kasumi commented mildly. "Hisoka just flew away!"
"What the…" Ranma stared. "That was Hisoka?"
"Your brother just got engaged to Akane. I think he's too excited. Pity you weren't here or we would have asked for your opinion," Genma stated, as if Ranma had just lost a trivial bet.
"I'M NOT A PRIZE!" Akane protested angrily.
"Well I wouldn't have wanted you anyway!" Ranma countered. Akane reflexively flipped the table and slammed it onto the back of Ranma's head.
"It might be a good idea," said a concerned Nabiki as if a Ranma-shaped hole had not just appeared in the floor of her living room, "to make sure Akane's new fiancé doesn't get torn up by passing traffic, unless you just lied and want to be her fiancé." She paused. "Although there's a chance she might prefer a tranny over a full man…"
"NABIKI YOU LIAR!" Akane screamed.
"WHO DID YOU JUST CALL A TRANNY?!" Ranma charged toward Nabiki, who promptly stepped out of the way and dropped a small glass vase on Ranma's head.
"Oops, I was talking about you." The brunette poked Ranma on her chest.
"Gah!" Ranma protested eloquently.
Hisoka floated over the streets of Nerima, forgotten by everyone except Nabiki. He eventually slipped through the window on the male side of a public bath. He rehydrated in the hot water, popping back into the realm of three dimensions, ignoring everyone's shocked stares at the piece of paper that had just turned into a clothed human. As she stepped out, she accidentally stepped on something black and squishy, and slipped.
"Dammit, what was that?" Hisoka cursed, as the small black shape jumped onto her hand and bit her hard enough to draw blood. "Gah! I didn't mean to step on you! Sorry!" The small pig wearing a yellow and black bandanna glared at her, then jumped into the bath, where it became much bigger than the black pig it had been before. At this point, everyone using the bath had convinced themselves that the heat was making them all light-headed. "R-Ryoga?"
"Who are you?" the bandanna'd young man stared right through her as he stepped out of the bath, drawing to his full height. Hisoka instinctively looked away.
"You don't remember me? I'm Hisoka!"
"Hisoka? What kind of a name is that?"
"You don't remember me? I kept you from getting lost for a whole school year and you repay me by making fun of my name?"
"Thanks, I guess, but seriously, who are you?"
"Oh!" Ryoga's eyes lit up with recognition as he pointed dramatically. "Ranma's little brother! Speaking of whom, I'm kinda busy right now. I'll talk to you later." I don't have time for little brothers when I have something much more important to do, Ryoga thought. However, it may have been a good idea to ask what school Ranma goes to…
Turning around, he began, "Hey, kid—"
"Hisoka!" She scowled, grabbing Ryoga by the wrist. "I'll take you there."
He felt a vague wave of nostalgia wash over him, but could not discern its cause. All he could remember was a pretty girl with blue hair taking him by the hand, guiding him when he was lost… but this was no girl. Ryoga felt somewhat confused. He was jolted from his thoughts by a shrill shriek.
"Oh yeah, you might want to put some clothes on first."
Kodachi the Black Rose has a gymnastics match coming up in a few hours, and she was not happy. Her school would be going up against her brother's, Furinkan, in the match, but for some reason, although she had taken out at least twenty people before it, she was still disconcerted and maybe even nervous, if she was capable of it. She felt a strange sense of foreboding, and the sensation was utterly foreign to her. Never had she felt so threatened before, but it may have just the fact that she accidentally mixed up her older brother's and her lunches that day, and did not notice until she collapsed from the experimental poison in the food she had never used before.
No matter, Kodachi would destroy the team no matter what, and the slightly unpleasant feeling in her abdomen served as proof that the substance she gave her opponents was extremely potent. Having built up a resistance to such things, more likely than not, a lesser being would be teetering on the edge between life and death after consuming the toxic matter.
Overcome with glee, Kodachi burst into her signature Noblewomanly Laughter™, which, unfortunately, upset her internal organs even more. Only a gymnast could possibly pull off losing her balance and falling backward so gracefully. She never hit the ground.
"Agh, you idiot!" A skinny blue-haired boy was yelling while a much more built man with short hair and a bandanna pulled him through a wall. "I told you, it's this way!"
"You mean this way?" Ryoga asked in all seriousness, punching a crater in the ground. "You know what my motto is? When you can't find your way, go down!"
"NOOO—Hey look," Hisoka interrupted herself mid-scream. "Poor girl! She's falling so dramatically and no one's there to rescue her! …Dang, she's pretty good at falling dramatically too. See how she's making a 45-degree angle with the ground? And now it's about 40. I couldn't fall that slowly if I tried!"
"Gasp!" Ryoga gasped. "You're right! I need to help her!" Throwing his backpack and umbrella in Hisoka's face, he dashed to the gymnast's rescue.
Kodachi opened her eyes, and a blush approximately the shade of a fire truck crept onto her face. To think, such a man would run to her rescue! And without her even asking to be saved! "You're mine!" She purred, snaking her arms around Ryoga's neck. "What could your name be? But no, don't tell me! I must figure it out for myself!"
"Oh—what—you're fine—um, I should… ah…" Stammering incoherently, he tried to remove the girl's arms, only to find that she had somehow wrapped a gymnastics ribbon around them, tying them together. Never had he been in such close proximity to a girl! And never had he imagined it would be so uncomfortable!
Hisoka's shaking legs finally gave out under the immense weight of Ryoga's pack as she fell and got crushed beneath the monster. "What do you keep in here…?" She turned her head to see Ryoga in a passionate embrace with some woman whose face looked like a giant beet wearing nothing but a leotard. "Having fun, pig boy?"
Suddenly, a red shape appeared in the sky. The whistle of wind accompanied its fall from the heavens, as normal civilians scattered to avoid getting hit. It looked almost human.
"Ranma?" Hisoka wondered as her older brother (in female form) crashed into the cuddling couple. Kodachi retracted her ribbon, and Ryoga looked like he was burning up with a fever.
"How dare you, redhead, to intrude on such an intimate moment between me and my beloved?" Kodachi demanded, batons and hoops appearing in her hands as if by magic.
"What?" Ranma stood up, confused. "Who are you? And what's Hisoka doing under a backpack?" Everyone turned to look at Hisoka as if seeing her for the first time. She was risking all that was left of her dignity to wriggle out from under the monstrous thing, but the attention was not wasted on her for long.
Remembering her gymnastics match that would take place that afternoon, Kodachi suddenly jumped into the air, unleashing loads of black rose petals on the Nerima street. "I am Kodachi, the Black Rose of St. Hebereke's School for girls! I'll meet you again, my sweet!" She sounded much like a deranged banshee as she yelled an introduction while winking as hard as she could at Ryoga. Then, the flurry of spiraling petals ceased, and Kodachi disappeared.
"Ko…da…chi, eh?" Ryoga said slowly. A shiver ran through his body. Although he gets easily attached to girls who are nice to him, that creepy leotard chick made him want to scrub himself down in a shower. There were more important things to attend to at the moment. Picking up his umbrella, he turned to the girl with the red pigtail. "Do you know where the Tendo dojo is? I'm looking for someone, and there's no one to take me there."
"Sure! By the way, who are you?" Ranma asked as they walked off into the sunset.
Staring after them in silence, Hisoka was still stuck under Ryoga's pack. "What am I, chopped liver?" She screamed at their disappearing silhouettes. She waited. "…Can someone help me?"
Author's Note: Happy holidays! Have a nice Christmas Eve, everyone!