A Kind Of Magic 4
A/N: While I was boasting about updating five fics, this one apparently REFUSED to be uploaded. Hopefully it will work now.
Also, I have a terrible tooth abscess. If I never update again, well...goodbye. (It was funny reading: "...death has also been known to occur..." and going, "Aw crap. My unfinished fics...")
Chapter 4: Magic is awesome, like school
Sasuke was still gaping at the window when Naruto reached out and poked him.
"He's gone, you know."
The brunet turned to him, looking incredulous. "There was a goat in my room."
"And it jumped out my window."
"And it vanished."
"How is that your Seer?"
Naruto sighed glumly but didn't answer.
Sasuke was silent a moment before he finally composed himself and walked back to his bed.
"Yeah," he muttered. "Cause you know, I can totally see how a goat could get us to have sex."
Naruto rolled his eyes at Sasuke while the other boy finished packing in silence, deciding not to ask about the goat until he was comfortable with thinking about a goat and sex all in one thought.
He probably never would be.
He went with the obvious course of action- denial- and continued to pack, putting sex-inducing goats out of his mind.
(I am a sheep page break. Baa.)
The drive to the university was long and boring and filled with incessant monkey chatter- courtesy of a blond monkey.
How the hell the universe had decided to grant a hyper idiot like Naruto powers was beyond Sasuke.
He was just getting used to the fact that he'd been dumped with a perverted genie whose purpose was to grant sexual wishes and now it turned out the genie's Seer happened to be a goat.
A goat apparently knowledgeable in the many ways of man-sex. And vastly perverted, if Naruto was to be believed.
Sasuke sighed. He was tired and with Naruto practically talking his ear off, singing along with the radio off-key and waving at Itachi, who was in the car trailing theirs, he was ready to run over the first cute furry animal that even dared to try cross the road.
Then he'd turn the car around and run it over again just to be sure.
No one liked lumpy road-kill after all. It was like proof of a half-assed job.
Itachi had insisted that he'd take the same route as Sasuke to his own university this time, and was passing the time by calling Naruto using the car phone and talking about stuff they passed, like trees and clouds, something Sasuke knew was just to piss him off further.
Hell, if it wasn't for the fact that Sasuke had given his word that he would somehow make sure Naruto's stay with him not include near death experiences, he would have already tossed the bugger out of his speeding car and onto oncoming traffic.
Yes, he was that frustrated.
Itachi knew Sasuke's car phone only had loud speaker settings for safety purposes and the fool kept calling.
"Slow down, Sasuke."
Sasuke gritted his teeth, willing himself to breathe slowly: in and out, in and out, in and-
"Not that slow... I think I just saw evolution overtake you."
-out, in and out, in and out, in and-
"So have you guys thought about car sex?"
It was really only because he was used to Itachi's blunt stupidity that he didn't swerve into a giant truck and put himself out of his misery.
That and the fact that Naruto had, for some reason, gone quiet in the last five minutes.
They'd been driving for nearly two hours and Sasuke had questioned the wisdom of purchasing candy as Naruto would have put the sugar-high toddlers to shame. Now, however, the blond seemed to have succumbed to sugar shock and was fast asleep, his cheek resting slightly against the headrest as if he'd fallen asleep talking to Sasuke.
There was a slight smile on his lips and Sasuke glanced quickly away from him, banishing daft words that sprung to mind like cute, attractive and adorable that had no business being in his vocabulary anyway.
"Is he asleep?"
Sasuke almost nodded at the phone before he offered a brief Hn to Itachi.
"He's amazing, isn't he?"
"Really?" Sasuke commented dryly. "What amazing feats has he performed to merit such praise?"
Itachi chuckled. "Well, he's managed to stay by your side a full twenty-four hours and not cry, die or take an abysmal liking to black."
"What's wrong with black?" Sasuke asked, offended.
"Calm down, little brother, I'm not insulting the emo flag colours. I'm merely pointing out that you're always whining about not having real friends and almost overnight, one drops onto your bed, like a gift from the libido gods."
"I do not whine. Also, I believe that gift is called Viagra and happens to be blue not blond."
"You realize you have a nasty habit of picking out the unimportant bits of a conversation, don't you?"
"I do not have nasty habits. And I have friends."
"You have Shikamaru who is as good as an imaginary friend. In fact, an imaginary friend would probably do more. And let's not forget the few other people who tolerate your brooding," Itachi sighed over the line. "Stop at Transverse. We should get something to eat."
Sasuke grunted as Itachi finally hung up.
They soon arrived at the restaurant and Naruto, sensing food, was awake in seconds, rushing for a table and ordering their best ramen.
Sasuke watched, amused, as the waiter explained that they were a five star restaurant and as such, did not do ramen.
Needless to say Naruto was pretty miffed about that and settled for a five star pizza, smirking when the waiter seemed to take his ordering of normal food as a personal insult instead of one to the establishment.
Itachi was surprisingly pleasant during the meal, only embarrassing Sasuke once when he asked the waitress how shaggable he thought Sasuke was, on a scale of 1 to 10.
The waitress blushed, cleared their table and escaped, leaving Naruto laughing at Sasuke's expense.
"I think that was a two," Naruto suggested, eyes shining with amusement.
Sasuke snorted, "You can count to two?"
Naruto grinned, "If you're super nice, I'll teach you so you can learn it, too."
Itachi hid a smile as Sasuke rolled his eyes and decided to ignore Naruto.
Itachi had never seen anyone get to his brother so easily. Hell, if not for his usual grunts, shape-shifting eyebrows and general aura of emo-ness, Itachi would have never known that Sasuke was a living, breathing human being. In fact, he still had his doubts.
They talked as they ate dessert with Itachi asking Naruto questions about his childhood and Naruto answering with ease. Sasuke watched the blond as he talked. His eyes were as expressive as his hands, lighting up with humour when he was about to lay down the punch line and bright when he was talking about his parents.
"My mom's awesome. Well, she has to be to have birthed me. But the woman is nosey as hell. She was always looking through my stuff and acting shocked when I caught her. She once replied to this letter from a girl I had the biggest crush on and told her point blank that she wasn't good enough for me and should stay away from me. I remember the girl throwing play dough at me."
"Play dough?" Itachi asked, amused.
Naruto nodded. "It was kindergarten."
"Really? A toddler attacked you with play dough?"
"Er...the teacher actually."
"What can I say? I was a sexy kid."
He received a blank look and relented. "Okay, okay. The letter was from a toddler but my mom replied and sent it to the school for a Miss Susie Jones which happened to be my teacher's name as well as the little girl's."
"So she attacked you?"
"She made it look like an accident," the blond explained pleasantly. "And then she transferred. I swear she seemed really upset about not being able to be with me."
Sasuke raised an eyebrow at that. "How did a kindergartner even manage to write a letter?"
Naruto grinned. "Well, it was mostly pictures of her and some blond kid in front of flowers, hearts and rainbows. I suppose my mother paraphrased the parts about her undying love for me. It was weird how many kindergarten teachers transferred from that school after I started there."
"Yeah," Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Weird."
A waitress came by then to collect their bowls and she winked at Sasuke as she walked away.
Naruto frowned briefly at her and absently massaged his chest where his crystal rested hotly against his skin.
"Do you have a girlfriend?" Itachi asked abruptly.
Naruto blinked at him. "Er...no?"
"No," Naruto said, smiling warily.
Itachi apparently took that for what it was and flirted shamelessly with the waitress when she came back to give them the bill.
Sasuke asked Naruto if he was ready to go and Naruto paused before nodding.
Sasuke saw the hesitation and wondered briefly what it was about. He'd been with Naruto for less than three days so he could hardly say he knew the guy, let alone his read his emotions or his actions. It wasn't even like Naruto was an open book.
The genie had too much of a mysterious air to actually be open about anything.
He seemed wary of every question Sasuke asked while answering all of Itachi's freely. It irked Sasuke and he found himself wondering why the stupid blond didn't just switch over to trying to rape Itachi and just get it over with.
By their cars, Itachi nodded at Sasuke and ruffled Naruto's hair. "I take the left turn at the next junction. I'll come visit you guys soon."
Sasuke muttered something about not needing a babysitter while Naruto saluted Itachi.
They drove away and waved when Itachi went off the highway.
"Why couldn't you two go to the same university?" Naruto asked, folding his arms. "He's fun."
"You're more than welcome to magic yourself over to him," Sasuke said, gritting his teeth.
This prompted a grin from Naruto who decided to start poking Sasuke and asking if he was jealous.
Sasuke hoped all this not-killing-the-blond-genie business would get him into Heaven.
(I am a Barbie page break. Accessories not included)
Naruto looked wide-eyed at the campus grounds.
They were enormous.
Students were moving around; driving, walking and a few of them, being of the nerdy persuasion, were on segways looking silly.
Sasuke watched Naruto take everything in and hid an amused smile.
After a hundred years trapped and in servitude to demons, perverts and goats, Naruto deserved alittle normality, no matter how abnormal he was himself.
Sasuke drove toward the administration building and parked. Dozens of students had already stopped to stare, like he was some kind of scientifically developed zoo animal, created for maximum cuteness.
Swallowing the urge to turn the car back on and run a few of them over, he opened his door and said gruffly, "Come on, lets go."
Naruto didn't move.
Sasuke shot him an impatient glance and stilled when he saw the blond looking pale and taking slow, laboured breaths.
"Hey, are you alright?"
Naruto didn't answer. His eyes were fixed on the crowd of students watching them. He was panicking.
Sasuke shut his door and sat back in, grabbing Naruto's elbow lightly.
Naruto flinched at the touch and turned to Sasuke, looking scared.
Sasuke frowned at that. Did Naruto think he'd hurt him?
Sasuke almost missed the softly spoken words.
"You can't do what, Naruto?"
At the sound of his name, the blue eyes cleared somewhat and he glanced at Sasuke with relief.
"It's...It's been a long time since I've seen this many people. Especially people my own age. It's just a lot to take in."
Sasuke suddenly understood and his grip on Naruto's elbow loosened and turned gentle. Unconsciously, he rubbed his thumb over Naruto's skin. The boy was scared. Sasuke was loathe to ask why but he figured a hundred years of servitude under a demon with a goat as your boss couldn't have been pleasant. And being a sex genie...well, there must have been quite a few things Naruto must not have willingly done.
The blond shivered at the touch and stared into Sasuke's eyes, apprehension written clearly on his face.
"You'll be alright here," Sasuke said uncomfortably, looking away from the other boy. "No one will hurt you or make you do anything you don't what to."
Naruto snorted at that.
Sasuke's sharp gaze was on him in an instant. "As long as I have a say in it, nothing will happen to you."
"That's just it," Naruto said with a pained smile on his face. "You don't have a say in it."
Before Sasuke could retort, Naruto eased stealthily out of his grip and got out of the car. There were several gasps and students started to whisper immediately.
Sasuke was at his side a moment later, glaring at the other students who'd broken out the hushed murmurs.
"They seem to be doing a lot more staring than usual," Sasuke muttered.
"They're staring at me," Naruto said plainly. "I'm famous."
It was said without pride or arrogance and Sasuke could relate. He'd almost forgotten that Naruto was supposed to be some sort of prodigy.
"Why didn't you remind me?" He hissed. "We could have hidden you. The demon-"
"My situation is a magical one," Naruto said steadily. "Whether I have the popularity of a rock star is irrelevant. The demon knows where I am at all times." Naruto shrugged. "I'm safer with you anyway."
At Sasuke's questioning gaze, Naruto gave him a small smile.
"Your dad already talked to my family so they'll be sure to not come here or try to speak to me. Besides, I enjoy being out of a confined space, with no expectations. At least for a little while."
Sasuke rolled his eyes at that. "I'm not going to have sex with you."
Naruto shrugged at that as if to say that that was just another thing Sasuke didn't have a say in.
A few students had started to take pictures and Naruto smiled at them, winking mischievously. Sasuke snorted and locked his car before leading Naruto into the building.
(I am a teen page break. Nobody understands me!)
Tsunade was in quite a pickle.
Standing before her was the Uchiha and his new charge apparently, the Namikaze kid.
Underneath her desk was the shot she desperately needed to not toss the blond, who was staring at her with a wide grin on his face, out her window.
"Hi granny," Naruto beamed.
Ah, screw it.
Tsunade drank the shot, unashamed, grimaced and glared at Naruto.
"Been a while, brat. Call me granny again and I'll see to it that it's the last thing you ever do."
"I promised myself I'd never see you again thirteen years ago," Tsunade muttered.
"Aw," Naruto chuckled. "You've been keeping count."
Tsunade swore under her breath.
Sasuke looked at both of them as if trying to decide whether he gave enough of a damn to ask what they hell they were going on about.
The boys were standing in the dean's office, waiting for the irritated woman to calm down. Tsunade had apparently tried to knock Naruto out with a heavy file the moment she'd recognised him.
Her office was surprisingly neat for someone as lazy and alcohol-obsessed as her but Sasuke knew a great deal of that was probably due to her secretary, Shizune.
"I thought teaching kindergarten was your life calling," Naruto said to Tsunade, amusement clear in his voice.
"You made me hate all those snot-nosed little cretins," Tsunade smiled grimly. "So I decided I'd make their lives miserable when they grew up, if they bothered getting into college."
Naruto nodded pleasantly and Sasuke sighed.
"Dean, we need his class schedule and room assignment."
Tsunade stared at Sasuke. He hadn't been rude exactly, so she couldn't expel him on a whim. And he'd thrown more than his fair share of irritated glances at Naruto.
He would be a good ally to have in the event that she decided to get back at Naruto for all the pranks he'd pulled on her when she'd been his kindergarten teacher.
With the incentive of having Naruto out of her office, Tsunade made all the necessary calls in under five minutes, printed Naruto's schedule, assigned a room and even opened the door for him, only barely resisting the temptation to give his ass a swift kick on his way out.
(I am a German shepherd page break. I'm a mean mofo)
The drive to the hostels was a short one. While the hostels claimed to be "co-ed", there were different floors for males and females.
Sasuke noticed he and Naruto were on the same floor. It figured.
Most guys on that floor were second years and apparently, Naruto came highly recommended because he was also registered as a second year student. Either that or Tsunade wanted him to graduate as soon as possible and get him out of her hair. If she'd had her way, Naruto would have probably been placed as a fifth year.
Sasuke was interested in the fact that Naruto had registered for the vet classes but he didn't pry. If Naruto wanted to spend the rest of his life dealing with animals, that was his business.
That was, unless Naruto thought that, seeing as how he didn't exactly have a life that wasn't involving magical sex, he could muck about in school.
"You are taking this thing seriously, aren't you?" Sasuke demanded.
Naruto saw him glance at his registration papers and nodded.
"I love animals. Besides, I know all about all the other courses and there's nothing new for me to learn."
"What do you mean?"
Naruto shrugged. "I didn't spend all my time locked up doing nothing. I had access to any book I wanted. I studied engineering, architecture, law, human medicine..."
At Sasuke's disbelieving look, Naruto smiled sheepishly. "I was bored. Besides, there's only so many comics one can read in a century."
Naruto shrugged at that, not particularly caring whether Sasuke believed him or not.
They made their way passed the sparsely populated reception hall and up the stairs. The first two floors were for females only and Naruto saw quite a few of them staring as they went passed.
Sasuke took Naruto to his room first when he figured he'd have to lend the boy some of his clothes since he didn't exactly have the time to take him to the campus complex just yet.
He was somewhat annoyed by the fact that Naruto couldn't just poof some up.
"Why the hell not?" he muttered as they finally turned to their floor. Sasuke hated elevators and Naruto didn't seem to mind all the stairs.
"Any magic I use for myself is not permanent," Naruto answered irritably.
Sasuke grumbled about retarded genies and their ability to follow stupid rules and opened the door to his room. 24C.
Naruto's was right next door and Sasuke was at least comforted by that fact. It meant he would at least be close enough to the genie to ensure he didn't act like a magical retard while still having the pleasure of not sharing a room with him.
Naruto stared at Sasuke's room in awe.
"Most rooms are shared by a pair of students. There is an odd number of students this year since someone dropped out so you'll be rooming with Kiba. Only fourth and fifth years have single rooms," Sasuke explained. "And each room is self-contained so there's no need to go around streaking."
Naruto looked at and touched everything he could while Sasuke put down the snacks they'd brought up form the car.
Sasuke's bed was all black silk and perfectly made and his side was the room was neat and spotless. There were no posters or any items to even suggest that Sasuke had a personality. Except for a picture of his family on his bedside table. Upon close inspection, Naruto saw Fugaku, Itachi, Sasuke and a beautiful woman who was probably their mother. Everyone in the picture was smiling, everyone except Sasuke, who looked like he was trying really hard not to. The amused glint shone in his eyes though so the overall effect was that of a perfectly happy family. Fugaku had his hand on Itachi shoulder while the woman was practically strangling Sasuke with love from the looks of her grip.
Naruto hid his smile and noted that Sasuke was busy going through his closet and pulling out jumpers and shirts.
Naruto's face grew a considerable level of interest when he spotted the other bed, whose occupant was still on it.
A boy was sleeping soundly on his own side of the room which at least had a few posters, even if all of them looked like they were for online strategy games. He had long spiky hair done up in a messy but efficient pony tail and the expression of his face was of one so completely at peace in his dreams.
"Is he asleep?" Naruto asked incredulously.
Sasuke bit back a retort about how the boy was just meditating on the world's many injustices and sighed. "Yes. Don't wake him."
"But it's three in the afternoon!"
"Yes," Sasuke ground out. "Do not wake him."
"He's a vampire, isn't he?"
Sasuke held back a groan and pointed at Naruto. "You. Sit."
Naruto snorted. "I'm not a dog."
Sasuke breathed in deeply, trying to stay calm. He decided to try ignore Naruto. He'd pack up the clothes Naruto needed and give him his share of snacks and then go dump him on his roommate.
Sasuke knew Naruto's roommate, Kiba and knew the two would probably get on well. Too well.
Chances were they'd set the hostel on fire in a few hours.
"Are you allergic to colour or something?" Naruto asked, picking up a black shirt and grimacing at it, as if that would forcibly make it lime green or whatever other atrocious colour he favoured.
"You'll wear what I give you," Sasuke said steadily. "Until you get your own."
Naruto shrugged. "Yeah well, whatever. I'm sexy in everything."
"Good for you."
"But I'm especially sexy in nothing."
Naruto was silent a few minutes after that while Sasuke continued in his task. He didn't trust Naruto to actually be helpful and he couldn't risk the genie using magic while his roommate was in the room.
Briefly, Sasuke had wondered how Naruto was handling everything so well. Sure he wasn't new to technology but a hundred years was a long time to still remember what Halo 2 was...and know that it was crap compared to Halo.
Naruto had said he'd had only two other masters and while Sasuke wanted to ask when that had been, who they'd been and what had happened to them afterward, he wasn't sure he wanted to know.
Obviously after they used Naruto, he was imprisoned again but-
"Wanna have sex?"
Sasuke glared hard at the laughing boy.
He was going to have a heart attack, he just knew it. No one could handle being annoyed this much and survive.
"Hm, interesting," a bored-sounding voice said suddenly in a tired drawl.
Sasuke groaned and sank onto his bed, nowhere near where Naruto was perched.
His roommate was awake.
"How long have you been awake?" Sasuke asked icily.
"Long enough to hear the offer of sex," the boy sighed, sitting up and smirking. "Actually, I was awake the whole time so I also heard the bit about him being sexy in nothing."
Naruto chuckled. He could see that Sasuke's roommate and him would get along just fine.
"I'm Shikamaru," the boy said.
Naruto nodded. "Naruto."
"Visiting Sasuke? He hardly gets any visitors apart from his family."
Naruto laughed at Sasuke's irritated glance at Shikamaru. "Good to know. I'm actually starting school here."
"It's a bit late to be starting here, isn't it?" Shikamaru asked. "After all, this is our second semester."
The genie shrugged. "I suppose."
Shikamaru smiled and closed his eyes, lying back down again and feigning sleep.
Sasuke, thankfully, was done and got up, motioning for Naruto to follow him.
Sasuke used the key Tsunade had given him to open Naruto's door and nodded for him to get in.
Naruto grinned as he passed by him. "So we're neighbours huh?"
Sasuke decided not to answer that. Naruto would no doubt find something perverted to say. There was no need to encourage him.
Naruto stared at the other side of the room. The free bed was by the second window and the other bed was unmade, clothes were strewn across the floor and comic books and manga were on the desk, the bed, the floor and some were on a chair.
His room mate was apparently a slob. At least he was a cool snob.
Posters were hung up on the wall and notice board of his side of the room, all of rock groups and one of transformers.
"Your room mate should still be home," Sasuke said when he noticed Naruto staring.
"Do all second years go home for the weekend?"
Sasuke shook his head and started to help Naruto put away his things.
Well, the blond sat while Sasuke did all the work.
"Only occasionally. I head home sometimes."
"When Itachi's not there?"
"You never know with him. But yes, that's usually the plan."
Naruto smiled. "Must be nice having an older brother."
"Do you have any siblings?"
"You can have mine."
Naruto chuckled. "Did you actually make a joke?"
Sasuke hung a coat up. "No."
The blond simply grinned and stood when Sasuke made him help make his bed with Sasuke's extra beddings.
When they were done, Sasuke saw Naruto staring at the impeccably made made bed, his thoughts obviously somewhere else.
Before he could ask, the door swung open and a girl stood there, smiling at Sasuke. She had pink hair that brushed her shoulder and big green eyes. She was tall, had rosy flushed skin and a killer body.
Naruto stared, unabashed.
The girl was hot.
"Hey, Shikamaru told me you were back," she said, warmly, looking at Sasuke.
Sasuke gave her a questioning glance. "You do realise this isn't my room."
"No shit," she snorted.
"Very good," Sasuke said. "Then why didn't you knock?"
The girl shrugged, stepping into the room. "Maybe I was hoping you'd be naked."
"In someone else's room?"
"A girl can dream."
Sasuke shook his head, muttering softly to himself.
Naruto cleared his throat and Sasuke shot him an exasperated glance while the girl looked startled. She'd apparently not seen anyone but Sasuke.
Her surprise barely lasted a second and the next moment she stepped forward and offered her hand to Naruto. "Hello, I'm Sakura."
Naruto shook her hand and smiled charmingly. "Naruto."
She smiled lightly and nodded. "Nice to meet you. Are you visiting?"
Naruto shook his head. "No, I'll be starting here this semester."
"Really? This late? Are you allowed to do that?"
"Will you be able to handle the workload? You'll have a lot of catching up to do."
"I'll manage. I'm brilliant."
She rolled her eyes. "If you say so."
"Sakura," Sasuke said abruptly. "Did you want something?"
"No need to be such an asshole," Naruto said, frowning at Sasuke.
Sakura gaped at that and Naruto wondered if he'd offended her sensibilities. Somehow he doubted it.
Sasuke simply sighed and ignored the genie, waiting patiently for Sakura's answer.
"Oh, er...right," She finally managed. "Kakashi asked me to get you. Shikamaru told me you were in here so..."
Sasuke nodded and walked to the door, moving passed Sakura.
"Aren't you going to kiss me goodbye?" Naruto asked mockingly.
Sasuke shot him a dark look.
"Well, pretty boy?"
Sakura stepped between them, looking incredulously at Naruto. "Sasuke, Kakashi's waiting."
Sasuke eyed Naruto, ignoring her.
"Give us a minute, Sakura."
Sakura shook her head and shrugged. "Fine. If you two want to get expelled, go right ahead. When you're done murdering each other, I'll be right outside."
She walked out the door and slammed it behind her.
"So much for my first impression," the genie groaned.
"She's hardly your concern."
"Seems like she isn't yours either," Naruto retorted.
Sasuke smirked. "She's my girlfriend."
Naruto's jaw dropped, "What?"
"Girlfriend. I'm sure you've heard of them."
Naruto paled. "Are you serious?"
"Yes," Sasuke said irritably.
"Why?" Naruto whispered, running a hand through his hair.
Sasuke took in a deep breath. "I'm going to ignore that."
He frowned when Naruto didn't say anything after that.
In fact, the genie was looking pretty shaken. His skin was suddenly extremely pale and his lips were turning blue.
Sasuke moved forward. "Are you-"
Blue eyes caught his and Naruto sprung, pinning him to the door.
Sasuke struggled immediately but didn't manage to move.
"Why didn't you tell me you had a girlfriend?" Naruto asked, his face lowered. His hair fell forward, hiding his eyes.
Sasuke could feel him trembling and felt something like sympathy.
The blond raised his head, letting Sasuke go and the brunet sucked in a breath. Blue eyes were bright with confusion and the Uchiha wondered what it was that had suddenly troubled Naruto so much. He tried to move his hand, as if to comfort Naruto but immediately caught himself.
What the hell was he thinking?
"Look," he hissed. "I didn't want to get stuck with some sex genie. Now you've seen I have a girlfriend, maybe you can go away and-"
"I can't do that, Sasuke," the blond said softly.
The Uchiha shivered at the way Naruto said his name, sinking back against the door. He felt his whole body relax against Naruto's and his mind went hazy.
"I need you to do this," Naruto pleaded, pressing his body closer.
Sasuke's heart pounded against his ribs and he struggled to remember what he was supposed to be doing. The door knob dug into his side and he vaguely remembered Sakura was on the other side.
He stilled and summoned all the energy he could to shove Naruto away.
Naruto stumbled back, falling to the carpeted floor, and glared at him, his blue eyes accusing.
Sasuke bristled. "Whatever you just did to me...don't you ever do it again," he growled. "Stay in this room until I tell you its okay to leave and do not do any magic."
Naruto didn't speak. He just picked himself up off the floor and walked to his dresser.
Sasuke slammed the door behind him and huffed, his hands forming fists at his sides.
Sakura looked over the brunet searchingly for a moment. "From the lack of bruises, I take it you begged for mercy accordingly."
"Aw, come on," Sakura smiled. "The guy looks fit. He could totally take you-"
There was a loud crash in the room and Sakura worriedly started, ready to rush into the room and help. Sasuke grabbed her elbow and stopped her.
"He's just throwing a tantrum. Leave him."
Sakura looked doubtful but nodded slowly, deciding to ask Sasuke about his new friend later when he wasn't looking like he was considering starting a career as a serial killer.
Sasuke walked ahead of her and she followed. Sakura had never seen Sasuke show as much emotion as he just had to anyone who wasn't Itachi, or his parents...or the few friends who'd gained his trust after years of knowing them.
(I am a Rizember page break. I really need to update faster)
Naruto lay on the floor in pain, trying to keep still.
The moment Sasuke had shut the door behind him, the crystal against the blonds chest had burned. Naruto had bit his lip to keep from crying out even as he had prepared himself for the magical backlash.
He had cradled his head and curled in on himself just in time.
His whole body was thrown across the room against his roommate's dresser.
He heard a crack and felt a shear pain in his side and knew he'd broken a rib or two.
The genie lay on the carpeted floor, trying to get his breath back enough to look at the damage he'd done.
A drawer had fallen from the dresser but it was nothing he couldn't put back.
He couldn't wave it back with magic because it would count as using magic for himself and wouldn't last more than six seconds.
Also, Sasuke had ordered him not to use magic so he was as good as useless at the moment.
Naruto sighed and shut his eyes, waiting for the healing to start.
His being immortal didn't take pain away but meant he healed much faster than normal people.
His own magic had acted against him because Sasuke had rejected him.
The only reason it hadn't done that before was because he hadn't met his Seer yet... His magic was probably also ticked off by the fact that Sasuke had a girlfriend, no matter how un-boyfriend like he acted with her.
Naruto let out a small whimper when his bone moved abruptly, repairing itself.
His vision blurred as the burn the crystal had formed against his chest and his ribs were being repaired.
He reached down slowly and tentatively touched his skin. Looking down at his hand, he saw the dark red stain on them and grimaced.
His skin and ribs were already healed but the blood remained as evidence.
He'd have to clean it up.
Naruto moved to sit up but his vision wavered and he fell back down in pain.
He shut his eyes, slowly losing consciousness and wondering if his roommate would mind the blood on the carpet too much.
(I am a fangirl page break. I squeal, therefore, I am.)
It was a ten minute walk to the counselor's office in the Student's Court building.
Which meant ten minutes of Sakura talking endlessly.
Sasuke walked silently while Sakura tried to get responses out of him.
"You know," she said with a sigh. "Usually you at least grunt or something when I try talk your ear off."
Sasuke didn't reply.
"You're really bummed about that new guy, aren't you?"
Sasuke stopped in surprise. "I don't care about him."
"You're friends, aren't you?" Sakura asked, confused. "I know you haven't mentioned him before but-"
Sasuke shook his head. "No. We aren't anything. I'm just looking after him for awhile."
"As a favour to my father," Sasuke answered easily. "His father is a friend of my father's or something."
Sakura looked doubtful at that. "So you two don't get along?"
"Well, you could try," she suggested. "It might make things easier for you."
Sasuke looked at her blankly and then started to walk again.
Sakura sighed at the boy's stubbornness and hurried to catch up to him. "What did you argue about?"
She sighed. If Sasuke wasn't going to give her answers, she'd just have to get them elsewhere.
She made sure Sasuke actually reached the counselor's door and walked in, sans knocking, before she went away.
It was common knowledge that the counselor, Kakashi, was eccentric- an adult way of saying he was weird as all hell- and as such, most students avoided him whenever possible. He always wore a mask covering his left eye and was a firm believer in sex therapy. In fact, he'd once started a war petition saying the heads of warring states should sleep with each other and get over their political sexual depravation or something.
The man must have thrived in the Sixties.
Kakashi had taken a special liking to Sasuke and in particular, to irritating Sasuke every chance he could get.
Sasuke sighed as he walked into the all-too-familiar room.
It was like a pimp haven.
The walls and floors all had shag carpeting and posters were put up haphazardly of naked women and men, all in some sort of compromising stance and all intertwined. Some were of orgies and others were of various forms of the karma sutra being executed by people that Sasuke thought had to be the human beings who had managed to evolve without any notable bone structures for that exact purpose.
Sasuke suspected Tsunade had gotten tired of telling Kakashi to remove his 'porn' from the walls and Kakashi had worn her down with legal and psychological blabber about how it was all art and helped the students feel comfortable with talking about their problems and seeing as how they were college students, their problems were probably all connected to sex in some way or form.
Kakashi ranged these problems into three categories; not getting any, getting too much and not getting it the way you want to get it.
For those who came with emotional issues, Kakashi suggested the last one as the source of said issue and suggested they talk to their partner about it.
For those with school-related issues, he concluded they weren't getting any and suggested they go out and look for some.
Sasuke knew Kakashi probably told the virgins the same thing.
The furniture in the office was like something one would find in the SIMS video game, labeled under 'fun'.
It was all modern and seemed to serve a purpose other than its own. The chairs seated one person and varied in colour...and looked like they might also be used as large colourful vases. Or chamber pots. With Kakashi, one never knew.
Speaking of the heathen himself, Sasuke looked around the room and sighed with relief.
Either Kakashi was in the bathroom located in his office, something Sasuke didn't really what to confirm due to past horrors, or Kakashi had stepped out for a moment. Whichever the case, Sasuke deemed this as his way to freedom and turned, determined to walk out the door and make his escape.
However, he found his path was blocked, quite appropriately, by a gray goat with a patch around it left eye.
It was the same goat from that morning.
Sasuke backed away from it, not knowing the proper non-animal-cruelty way to get rid of it. He almost wished he'd let Naruto kill the damn thing.
The goat had just...talked.
It had opened its mouth...
...and words had come out.
"I'm going mad," Sasuke whispered to himself. "Please let me be going mad."
He'd prefer it if he'd somehow cracked. It would even make sense. It had been almost what, two whole days with the sex-crazed genie idiot...? Anyone would go nuts so really, who could blame him?
Of course, the alternative to him being crazy was that a goat had in fact, just spoken to him.
Sasuke mentally prepared the magazines and novels he'd carry on his way to the asylum so he could-
"Oi, kid," the goat huffed. "It's rude to space out when someone is talking to you."
"Oh?" Sasuke snorted. "I'm sorry. I must not have paid attention in school to proper goat etiquette."
"I'll let it slide," the goat said briefly, smirking.
Sasuke knew it was smirking.
And it didn't look off at all.
"Anyway," the goat said, its deep teasing voice turning serious all of a sudden. "I'm here to speak to you about your genie."
"He is not my genie," Sasuke scowled.
"Really?" it chuckled. "Because I was pretty sure you were the one who rubbed the iPod."
"Honestly, who does that?" the goat asked with a leer. "Do you have an iPod fetish? Or does it extend to all Apple products? Would I be right to leave you with my iPad? Would you caress my Mac computer over there and try to load your-"
"Your computer?" Sasuke asked abruptly, halting the goat's obvious analysis of his supposed unholy love for iAnythings.
The goat grinned as Sasuke shook his head in complete and utter denial.
The goat chuckled and as Sasuke watched, its body stretched and changed, turning longer into the naked form of his silver-haired, partially masked counselor.
"Kakashi," Sasuke whispered.
Kakashi winked, still on his hands and knees. "Don't tell me you haven't dreamed of me being in this very position."
Sasuke shut his eyes, "Please let me go blind. Please let me unsee that."
Kakashi chuckled and Sasuke heard him get up and heard the sound of fingers snapping.
"I'm decent," Kakashi chuckled. "Okay, not decent but clothed. You may look now."
Sasuke opened his eyes slowly and found Kakashi standing and smirking down at him.
"Now, to introduce myself," Kakashi offered his hand. "I'm Naruto's Seer."
Sasuke eyed the hand with distaste. "I don't know where that's been."
"On my dick," Kakashi replied easily.
"I don't know where your dick has been."
"I assure you I happen to wash my dick quite often."
"I'm still not touching that."
"That is called a hand."
Sasuke blinked. "And it was previously a hoof."
Kakashi regarded him a moment before nodding and lowering his hand. "I take it you're not into bestiality."
"I should hope not."
Sasuke was openly in shock. His counselor...was apparently a goat.
And not just any goat, a magic one. A Seer or whatever.
In the perverted sense of everything, he really shouldn't have been so surprised. No normal human should have been able to be that sex-obsessed.
If this was Naruto's Seer then the genie had been right in expressing just how perverted the goat was.
"Are you a goat or a man?" Sasuke asked abruptly.
Kakashi took a seat in the comfy chair behind his large desk and shrugged. "I can take on many forms. So I can't really remember what I originally was."
Sasuke eyed him warily and remained standing.
"We will be here a while," Kakashi said seriously. "You might want to sit down."
"There's a few things you should know if you're entering a magic contract with Naruto."
"I am not sleeping with him."
Kakashi waved his hand at that dismissively. "Please sit. Not everything I say will pertain to you having sex with Naruto. In fact, I want to start with how you treated him earlier."
Sasuke stared at him. "I didn't touch him. In fact, he was the one who-"
"I know what happened," Kakashi said seriously. "And the fact is, you don't."
The Uchiha sighed and sat down. He could run out of the room but he suspected the Seer would get to him one way or another.
Kakashi went about explaining the ways and rules of Sasuke's role as Master, eventually just giving him a verbal list of things he could and could not do. And things Kakashi suggested he shouldn't do.
"You must be careful of the things you order Naruto to do," Kakashi said steadily.
Sasuke stifled a yawn. They had been in there for almost two whole hours and Kakashi wasn't letting up.
"I didn't order him to do anything," he muttered.
"You might not realise it but you did. You told him to stay in his room."
"Yes," Sasuke said irritably. "He tried to..." he sighed. "I was angry."
"The magic sees that as an order."
"So Naruto can't leave the room until you say otherwise."
Kakashi's visible eye narrowed and Sasuke quickly relented grudgingly. "Fine. Naruto can do what he wants. Happy?"
Kakashi seemed satisfied with that and said, "You see, because of that, he can now leave the room."
Sasuke nodded and stared out the window as Kakashi continued talking.
"The genie is obligated to do what his master wants, even when he has not yet made a wish," the counselor stated. "That includes murder, self-affliction-
"What?" Sasuke said, staring at Kakashi with disbelief.
"You heard me."
"Murder? Self-affliction? What the hell are-"
"For example, if you told him to go kill himself, he would."
Sasuke gaped. "But...aren't genies-"
"They are. But for that particular want, he would kill himself and come back to life but because of the nature of the want, he would keep killing himself until you say otherwise."
Sasuke paled. "That's-"
"That's magic," Kakashi shrugged. "Magic isn't good or evil. It just is. You could have Naruto solve world hunger or start a third world war, it's all up to you."
"You said something about wants and wishes..."
"Naruto is a sex genie, which means he can grant wants but all wishes must be sexual in nature before he grants wants. If he was a standard genie, the only magic he could offer you would be in form of three wishes."
"So...how come he doesn't leave when I tell him to. It's what I want."
"Because that would interfere with the you-having-sex-with-him part. Any order from you going against that, he can ignore."
Kakashi simply smiled.
"So there are types of genies?" Sasuke asked warily.
Kakashi nodded with a smile. "Sex genies are the rarest of course. And sex magic happens to be pretty potent."
Sasuke opened his mouth and shut it, apparently processing too much at once. "I need time to...absorb all this."
Kakashi nodded and handed him a thick book. "There's all the information you need to know."
Sasuke stared at it before shooting a dark glare at Kakashi. "Why the hell did you keep me here all this time when you could have just given me this?"
"I always enjoy your company. You know that."
Sasuke muttered about him being a goat bastard and left.
(I am a nerd page break. I will be rich one day)
Naruto sighed as he saw that it was almost nine at night.
He had come to barely five minutes before and had cleaned up the blood and put the drawer back.
He still winced when he twisted alittle but decided it wasn't too bad.
Besides, it wasn't like he could die.
If he could, he would have done so ages ago.
He was infinitely grateful that his roommate hadn't yet come back. It would have been impossible to explain why he was lying in his blood but perfectly fine, unless he said it was a prank. But then, if he'd still been unconscious, he wouldn't have been able to explain the part about how it was all just a joke.
He felt alittle bad though. That he had still been on the ground meant that Sasuke hadn't cared enough to come check on him.
What had he expected, honestly?
Sasuke was just another master. There was no need to assume that just cause he'd unwittingly obtained him as a genie, that he would be a pleasant change from the other masters he'd had.
Sasuke didn't want him for sex or power.
Sasuke didn't want him at all.
Naruto lay on his bed and stared at the ceiling and-
-promptly fell off his bed.
When the blond raised his head to glare at the imbecile who'd scared the crap out of him, he found himself staring at a handsome tanned boy with short unkempt brown hair and dark brown eyes. The boy grinned at him, looking sheepish.
"Oh, hey man," he said, dumping his bag on the floor by his bed and moving forward to help Naruto up. "I had forgotten about my new roommate."
Naruto blinked. "You knew about me?"
"Er, Shikamaru just told me about a minute ago."
The blond blinked. "And you already forgot?"
The guy just shrugged and chuckled, letting Naruto's hand go. "I'm awesome like that."
"I'm Kiba, by the way. Kiba Inuzuka."
"Oh, cool," Kiba exclaimed, clapping Naruto hard on the back. "You're that stock prodigy!"
Naruto nodded, a frown forming. He really hoped Kiba wouldn't make a big deal out of-
"This is so weird!" Kiba said, laughing and jumping onto his bed. "I remember dyeing my hair last year and trying to pick up chicks by saying I was you."
"No kidding," Kiba snorted. "But in my defense, I was having a seriously dry run."
Naruto chuckled softly. "Did it work?"
"No," he sighed. "Apparently blond wasn't my colour."
"You don't say."
Kiba grinned and reached into his bag, grabbing two packs of Oreos and tossing one to Naruto. "Eat up. Tonight, we celebrate!"
Kiba nodded and stood, grabbing his shirt and pulling it off. "I need a shower. I need to get the scent of my mom's cooking off my clothes. I swear the woman makes us eat her food as some sort of punishment."
"She can't cook?"
"Understatement of the year," Kiba snorted, grabbing a towel. "Her food had been officially banned, on contract, from major family gatherings for the next six years after which the contract will be renewed."
Naruto grinned, warming up to his room mate. "What happens if she cooks before then?"
"She gets arrested," Kiba winked. "And spends a night in jail because none of us are willing to pay bail."
"Hell yeah. She got arrested at the family reunion last year. She was charged her with attempted murder and we only went to sort everything out and get her in the morning."
"What did she make?"
"She messed up tea?"
"It was the most foul-tasting muck I have ever tasted in my life," Kiba grimaced. "She really outdid herself that day."
Naruto smiled as his roommate walked into their shared bathroom and closed the door behind him.
Naruto absentmindedly turned the Oreos orange before they turned back to their dark chocolate-y colour and he sighed as the crystal stayed perfectly cool against his chest.
He had felt the magic's hold on him loosen earlier, which meant that Sasuke had somehow relented about him using magic. But that didn't stop Naruto from tentatively poking a foot out the door, leaving Kiba staring at him like he was a nut when he left the bathroom.
"What are you doing?"
"Er," Naruto smiled sheepishly. "Nothing."
"I'm starving, " Kiba said as he dressed out of sight. "Wanna go grab something to eat?"
Naruto was about to refuse when his stomach grumbled in protest. Apparently it didn't really appreciate Oreos as a meal. "Er...yeah."
Kiba nodded and walked to the door, leading the way.
They passed by a few guys who greeted them and Naruto calmly continued his conversation with Kiba.
"So, why are you starting as a second year? And in the second semester, too?"
"Cause I'm brilliant."
"Tch," Kiba snorted. "That's no reason for the special treatment."
"Yes it is."
Kiba laughed. "Mm, I suppose it is. Were you at any college before this?"
"No, I was home schooled."
"Wow. Sheltered much?"
"Yeah," Naruto said softly.
Kiba suddenly put an arm around him as they left the hostel.
"Well, that's cool. What are you studying here?"
Kiba gaped. "No shit? Me, too! We'll be class mates!"
Naruto raised an eyebrow at that even as Kiba started to explain just how awesome they would be together.
They got to the campus complex and Kiba pointed at all the stores he thought were the best, which were mostly gaming stores.
He took Naruto to a restaurant called Fayre and ordered their largest pizza and two sodas.
While they waited for their food, Kiba spotted a girl who'd just ordered and waved her over, shouting loud enough to gain attention from the other customers.
The girl walked toward them, not looking the least bit embarrassed at Kiba's complete lack of class.
She had long dark hair that was tied up and large pale gray eyes. She smiled at Naruto and smacked Kiba hard across the back of his head.
"Next time, I'll pretend I don't know you."
Kiba winked at Naruto, mouthing, "She's playing hard to get."
Naruto held back a smile as the girl turned to him. "Hi there. I've haven't seen you around."
"I just started here."
The girl didn't ask why or how, instead she nodded and pulled out a chair, sitting by them and staring intently at Naruto like she was trying to figure him out. "Good for you. I'm Hinata, by the way."
"Are you a model?"
Naruto raised an eyebrow at that even as Kiba grinned and said, "She asked me the same thing."
"No I didn't."
"Way to raise my self-esteem," Kiba sighed.
Hinata snorted. "You have a big enough ego as it is." She turned back to Naruto. "So...modeling?"
Naruto shook his head even as she studied him.
"What are you studying here?" he asked when he started to get uncomfortable with the silence, especially seeing as how Kiba was apparently sulking.
"I'm pre-med," she smiled warmly. "And right now, I am successfully not doing my assignment."
"Yeah," she sighed. "Me and my partner are supposed to take care of a virtual sick person."
"It's like a virtual pet but programmed so it's an old man who has a cold."
"And...how's that working out?"
The girl leaned back in her seat. "The guy kicked the bucket with a mighty cough."
"When?" Kiba asked.
"Half an hour after we got him."
"Er...my condolences?" Naruto offered.
"I expected it," she shrugged.
"Who didn't?" Kiba smirked. "You and Shikamaru are the laziest med students the world has ever seen."
Hinata opened her mouth and then nodded. "True, but maybe we'd care more if they offered an actual living thing."
"Yeah, right," Kiba scoffed. "I remember having to rescue that rabbit you two were supposed to be looking after last month."
"It was a rabbit," Hinata deadpanned. "Do we look like Vet students?"
"What do vet students look like?" Kiba asked darkly. "Did we somehow grow tails?"
"You might as well for all the animal hugging you saps do."
"We do not hug animals!"
"Not in public."
"Are you trying to say we have some kind of animal fetish?"
"You said that," Hinata smirked. "And I'm glad you're finally out of Mr. Tumnus' closet."
While Kiba sputtered, Naruto held back a light smile. He could see Hinata was really enjoying riling the other boy up.
"At least we can take care of one small rabbit without conditioning it for cannibalism."
"We didn't do that," Hinata laughed.
"You fed it meat!"
"It was veal," she replied easily.
"Oh, baby meat. That makes it alright?"
"Well yeah, it's not like we were trying to make it a killer bunny or anything," she mumbled, before directing a question at Naruto. "So what will you be studying?"
"Scared of taking real medicine?" she teased.
"I like to think that at no point in time will the animals sue me for malpractice."
"True," she smiled. "But they'll probably bite."
"What do yo want to specialize in?" Naruto asked.
"General practice," Hinata answered easily, groaning with relief when a waiter finally brought their food. "Less energy and I can charge a small fortune for consultations."
"As you can see, she's in it for all the right reasons," Kiba stated drily.
As Kiba and Hinata started a new argument, this time on the evil of doctors everywhere, with Kiba using Doctor Who as an example, Naruto dug into his pizza and watched them.
He had to admit he'd missed this sort of interaction. He'd missed people. Especially people his own age.
The genie spotted a head of pink at the door and turned. Sakura caught his eye as she walked passed the restaurant and smiled, waving as she walked by.
He waved back and settled back into his seat, trying to back Kiba up.
(I am a depressed page break. NOBODY LOVES ME!)
Sasuke was feeling distinctly bored.
He'd left Kakashi's office hours ago and after the particular revelation of the counselor being a goat-man-Seer thing, he had taken a good extra hour to soak it all in.
He hadn't gone to see Naruto, figuring there was no point.
Kakashi had said Naruto was free to do as he wished as long as Sasuke allowed him to, so the Uchiha figured the genie would be out causing havoc with his permission.
It didn't help that Itachi had decided to have a phone sent over for Naruto which meant Sasuke would have to go give it to the magic menace.
He considered leaving it at the blond's door and knocking before just walking back to his room but he didn't exactly want to come off as a coward.
Even if he didn't exactly want to see the boy.
The door swung open and Sakura entered the room, eating a frozen yogurt.
Shikamaru barely spared Sakura a glance from his position at his laptop. He and Sasuke had discovered long ago that Sakura just wasn't born with the ability to knock.
Sasuke took that as his cue.
He could lie in bed all night, like a good and tired college student, or he could go give the sex genie a cell phone.
His life had certainly taken a strange turn.
He sighed as he got up, walking passed Sakura who moved to go sit on Shikamaru's bed.
He knocked on Naruto's door for a good five minutes before Sakura poked her head out of his room and said pleasantly, "If you're looking for Naruto, I saw him at Fayre with Kiba and Hinata."
Sasuke bristled, unreasonable anger growing.
There he was, unable to think of anything but the stupid genie and that blasted idiot was out enjoying himself and eating food at Sasuke's favourite restaurant.
"I'll be right back."
Sakura waved him off, making herself comfortable on Shikamaru's bed because Sasuke was touchy about his space.
Shikamaru stood from his desk, grabbing a jacket.
"I need food," he said when Sasuke gave him a questioning look. "I'll come with you."
Sakura stayed in their room, toying with Shikamaru's laptop and being a relatively quiet nuisance.
When they got to Fayre, Shikamaru went to order himself some food and then settled into a seat by Hinata without preamble.
Sasuke had taken the bastard route and had shot an unnecessary glare at the blond, saying through gritted teeth, "Naruto, may I have a word?"
Naruto nodded and stood while Kiba and Hinata watched.
The two walked a short distance away.
Hinata and Kiba turned to Shikamaru.
"Sasuke knows Naruto?" Kiba asked incredulously.
"He drove him here," Shikamaru answered.
"Sasuke, the emo, sexually-repressed bastard," Hinata clarified. "Knows Naruto, that sunny sweetheart?"
"Are you sure?"
"Their dads are friends."
Shikamaru hummed at that and the three of them openly watched the blond and brunet talking.
Sasuke was frowning.
He'd been talking to Naruto for a full minute and in all that time, Naruto hadn't once looked him in the eye.
"You didn't tell me your Seer was Kakashi."
Naruto made a sound that could have meant anything from 'I was sure I did' to 'Did you know Pluto is no longer considered a planet?'...
Irritated, Sasuke handed the blond the phone. "Itachi sent this for you."
Naruto nodded but before Sasuke could leave, he lightly tugged at his shirt.
Sasuke raised an eyebrow at that and the blond took in a deep breath.
"I'm sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have...gone nuts like that."
Sasuke seemed surprised at the apology. After all, what was the sex genie's purpose in life if not to try rape unwilling victims.
Naruto looked up at Sasuke and beamed. "I promise I won't try any sex magic on you if I can help it."
Sasuke smirked. "We'll see."
Naruto just chuckled. "Don't worry. I never go back on my word."
The Uchiha snorted.
"So...friends?" Naruto asked, hesitantly.
Sasuke sighed. "Fine."
"Don't push it."
"Aw, come on!"
"I think Shikamaru already took up the position."
"But he's so lazy! I could at least put some effort into it!"
"I don't need a hyper best friend, moron."
"Please, my awesomeness appeals to you. You probably find yourself wishing I could write you a book on how to be this amazing."
"Yes, you saw right through me."
"Excellent, I will."
"You are such an idiot."
Naruto made a face at him as they walked back to the table.
Hinata nudged Shikamaru as Sasuke and Naruto walked back, lost in their argument.
"Looks like the Uchiha made a new friend."
Kiba chuckled. "It's about time. No offense Shika, but you only encouraged his brooding."
Shikamaru simply gave Kiba the finger and continued stealing Kiba's fries while the boy was distracted.
And then it happened.
"Oh shit, look at that," Kiba whispered.
But everyone was already looking.
Sasuke Uchiha was smiling.
Not smirking, not snorting with derision, not shooting death beams out of his eyes or death farts out of his arse...
He was actually smiling.
And everyone in the restaurant knew that it could only mean one thing:
"WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!" someone screamed.
"THE APOCALYPSE IS UPON US!"
"HOT GIRLS! HAVE SEX WITH ME BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!" Kiba yelled in the confusion.
Hinata smacked him and watched as everyone else in the restaurant ran out, all stampeding for the door in an effort to escape the horrors that were sure to follow what had probably just been a twitch of Sasuke's lips.
(I am an end of chapter page break. Suck it)
A/N: Hi there...
slightlypssdbtntangryfngrl: Heh, I could have put a lemon there but then I'd have had nothing for my tea. "-all that libido in the air-" LOL! I like that. Damn, two years? Damn. Okay...I apologise, greatly. Really. Like, I'm actively trying to get my lazy ass to update all my fics and FINISH them cause I have new ideas and told myself I wouldn't upload any more till I finish these *sigh* (at this rate, I may never have another story on here again). Yeah, sorry I stray so much. I'll get to either changing the summaries or making em stay on track.
Kaila Azroth: Er, sorry for the long wait. I know you probably have tons of great grand children now and all...hehe. Hope your ass didn't fall asleep waiting for an update.
Reya Knight: First, may I say how awesome it is that you're also from Africa (like, seriously...you have no idea). A year...? *checks calendar* er, my bad?
anonymous: HAHA, damn, I'll be apologising a lot... *sigh*
sweetXsunshine: Er...new chapter? Right up there.
Cassie821: YESSS! Another African! *starts planning African takeover for FF(dot)net...* I'll try update faster. I recently got (pummeled) struck (violently) by inspiration and will update quite a few fics today. Haha, so many Kotetsu theories? Nice. His dad knows where he is and knows he's a genie. He told his family and also warned them not to contact him. Er...rubbing iPods may be seen as sexual perversion and is generally frowned upon by the owners of said iPods.
e313: I haven't yet explained how Naruto became a genie but I did say he took over from another genie. He went missing a year ago (which was when he became a genie) and also when he was almost assassinated. In addition to that, he was sent back in time a 100 years and served different masters over the years. After 30 days, he would be returned to the iPod or another container until his next master finds him.
Chynna18rawrr: I will finish it before this year is over. I PROMISE (and I take promises seriously). It's not even supposed to be more than ten chapters *sigh*.
nanichan72: Not giving up on this one :3
sunflowerluv13: I will, no worries. Hope you still like it.
Ashen Warrior: Always so kind and supportive... Bastard.
Trevor: Tell ash to make his own account, dammit. Yes, yes you can.
anon: er...fine, fine. I will.
Ariella007: thanks :D
Amerie: Er...right. You obviously made those up but YAY!
: Einstein's soggy undershorts...a worthy swear phrase. Mafoosala...*happy sigh* yeah... thanks :P Haha, Tenten will be back.
xxangelbitexx: Goats are great comedians...
sanctuary sins: I'm glad. sorry for the wait.
YokuMiya: Thanks, haha...I'm on it.
yamiPimpster: Damn, it's been a long time... thanks.
ReiUta: Mmm, good button choice.
Uchen: Nice roundabout way of pointing out the OOC Itachi, haha! Being an older sibling of only one other sibling, I totally agree but think my evil powers need more practice *goes off to torment little sister*
roxxihearts: You're late/. I'm late... Let's not point fingers... *guilty shifty look*
ark gabriel: Thanks, I will
chocolate-strawberry-leaf: So many "pleases" and I FAILED YOU!
Beloved Shadow: Thanks so much! My page breaks aim to please :3
Wopsidaisy: A Seer is able to *whisper, whisper, cough, nudge, whisper* but ssshhh! don't tell the others.
DamaHuerta: That's great XD thanks so much.
DistractingRAWR: Er...push the buttons harder? Close your eyes and believe? Click yer boots and do the shuffle? One of these will definitely make the buttons work. Sure! Stalk me to your heart's content!
joekage: Haha, I was gonna cry...
the Update GAWD: Erm...so much to say...uh... Hello, gawd. Been awhile. How ya doin?
iHasWriterBlock: So does I. haha, yay...here's hoping you're still addicted. I do hope your ass was reattached to yer bottom. Sitting might be hard otherwise...
shielded-WiNgS: World domination costs extra. Didn't I say?
fullmoonwolf950: Er, you could find a diet coke at your nearest mall... Am jus saying...
KatrinaEagle: Ha...*shifty chuckle*...ha... Um, sure?
Taututheshaman: That's great. yet!
Lunarious1000: They work for me! The buttons are faithful!
Vitan: Mmm... yeah...updating... Root beer does not come free with world domination. You should know better :P
simyy: HI! Thanks but y'know, since then, I've finished falling for him AND updated destined! So...yay me?
ANIMEFREAK-995: Don't kill the goat!
Just Miki: You still waiting? *winces*
narutofweak: BUTTON KILLER! Yes, the people have sent many death threats in honour of this fic. Wow, you guessed so much right *evil chuckle* join me...
fabulosfan: insane? Perish the thought! Ah...Kotetsu. I'm apparently not done with him yet.
animelove20: "do it"? LOL! hooray for euphemisms.
Aikat3rin3: Damn, another long waiter. I'll try have the next one up next week. Or in a few days.
mystique Monique aka Mina: Who doesn't love evil/good Itachi? I'm glad you liked it.
faux fire: Emos need a lot.
TheNaruFreak: Damn, I will! I will!
TooLazyToSignIn: Yes, the elusive goat...has arrived!
MikaUchiha: Mmm, I will explain that XD Will do, thanks
White-Tainted-Red; Thank you :3 Let's hope the fic pleases you
For speedy updates from this lazy author, press 1
For a video of this lazy author being assaulted by her own dog (true story) while her little sister watched like the demon spawn she is, press 2
For an assortment of sasunaru goodness that has nothing to do with this lazy author, and of course, world domination, press 3
For "I'm suing your lazy author ass for false advertisement cause the above buttons never work!", click the review button below and leave a message.