Title: Why Batman Scares Me: by Bruce Wayne

Summary: Second in a series of revealing essays by alter egos

Why Batman Scares Me

By Bruce Wayne

I don't often sit down and put my thoughts to paper, let alone try to put an op-ed piece in the paper. But this questions has been gnawing at my mind.

Am I the only one stupid enough to admit it? Or is everybody else afraid of Batman too?

Sure, crime is down. Sure, the streets are safer.

But now I'm afraid that someday I'll cross some invisible line. I jaywalked last year. I know it's an open secret that I have a ton of accountants trying to figure out ways to protect me from tax laws. (it's all legal, wink-nudge)

What if he decides that's a little too far?

What if he decides that my company is being a little too greedy in pursuit of profits?

Listen, do I have to live my whole life in fear of a misstep? He apparently doesn't care if you're rich or poor, a cop or a crook. He has this justice—right and wrong—and it applies to everybody now. There's no court with a crooked judge, there's no protection. If you're doing something bad, he gets you.

Do I have to watch every action I take, terrified of doing wrong?

This used to be a town where you knew where you stood. This used to be a town where you could be safe. Now it's like the only way you can be safe is NEVER BREAKING THE LAW. And maybe even staying away from stuff that might be legal but would hurt some bleeding liberal heart's idea of ethics.

Everybody knows I'm the richest man in the city. Shouldn't that make me the safest man in the city? How come that just makes me the biggest target?

I've hired additional security forces, but apparently he just laughs at conventional measures. I've heard he's bullet proof. Some say he's not even human!

He scares the liver out of me. And I'm not afraid to say it.

Is that what we've come to, Gotham? Is that the kind of city we have? What can we do about this?

I don't know about the rest of you, but tonight I'm going to lock my doors. And I'm going to try very, very hard not to do anything at all wrong. I'm even going to help little old ladies across the street if I can.

Because Batman scares me.