Alright so I'm starting a new story. It starts from the cliff jump and is pretty much an alternate from page 358 of New Moon. Obviously I'm Not S.M and I don't own Twilight or the series, though I do wish I owned one of the Cullen men – I'm not picky which one………So read and hopefully enjoy---

Chapter one - The Cliff Dive.

"Bella."

I smiled and exhaled.

Yes? I didn't answer out loud, for fear that the sound of my voice would shatter the beautiful illusion. He sounded so real, so close. It was only when he was disapproving like this that I could hear the true memory of his voice – the velvet texture and the musical intonation that made up the most perfect of all voices.

"Don't do this," he pleaded.

You wanted me to be human, I reminded him. Well, watch me.

"Please. For me."

'But this is for you.'

"Please, you can not do this to me!! Just step away Bella!!" And oh I almost did, just because he sounded so close. I could almost feel him.

'But it's the only way you'll stay with me' I head his roar, his velvety voice screaming out "Bella no!" but it was to late. I flung myself of the cliff with an ear-shattering scream that let out all my pain and hurt and want and need. I could feel the wind trying to move my body back up to the cliff top but gravity was winning. I wasn't sure what would happen when I met the water and although death wasn't my original intention, though right now, through my now open and wind blow eyes, death seemed like an easy, simple and somewhat happy alternative as opposed to continuing to live this pointless, meaningless life. Because that is all that my life is without my meaning, my love, my Edward. At least he was my Edward. I don't know whose he is now; I just hope she never lets him go. Or that if he were to leave her, she would just do this straight away, because no one deserves the pain and suffering that is inflicted upon you when Edward Cullen break's your heart, even if she couldn't love him as much as I do. And it doesn't matter how much he hurt me or all the lies he told and the promises he broke. And it doesn't matter that he probably never even loved me and that I was just a game or a toy. None of that (painful as it is) makes any difference to the fact that I still love him. And I know that even when my body washed away and my soul leaves this world I will still love him, because nothing can stop something that strong, something as strong as my love and adoration and need for him. I just wish he knew that I was doing this for him as much as I was doing it for me, and I hope he knows that it isn't his fault, though I doubt he really cares. Alice might though, but I can't take this back now.

My body met the ice cold water and the temperature shocked me. It closed on me, filling my every pore and cell and I wouldn't have it any other way. It was freezing, just like his skin. Yer, I had picked a good place to end my being. It was so alike him, and anything involving Edward had to be good, right? The current was moving me and I saw him. He looked so real, it was as if he were right there with his eyes swimming with onyx, and his pale body still managing to somehow shine Well that part was off, vampires sparkle and no rays of sun have made their way to the depths of the ocean. My body slammed into rock repeatedly and I felt the pain of my bones snapping. Ribs it felt like. The bones must have punctured my lungs because suddenly my whole torso was in pain, but I would take this over the hole any time. My breath flew from my lungs and I knew better than to try to breathe again. Plus this might make dying easier. How I looked upon death – as a kind of beacon, something good and hopeful. I was not afraid or what lay beyond me, like most humans. I did not fear death like most normal humans. But since when was I normal. The Cullen's always said I was never normal, such a strange being and they were right this exercise simply proves that (as if my absurd love of vampires didn't prove that) I felt a sharp pain in my head. It stung, like something sharp was penetrating my skull. I could feel the blood ooze from my head and the accompanying lightheadedness. My eye lids began to drop and I was content with Edward being the last thing that played behind my eye lids.

This was it. I was dying. No more Charlie or Renee or Jake. I would never see or talk to them again. No more school or wolf boys or vampires. That last one wasn't so bad the good ones didn't want me anyway.

My imagination must go crazy whilst dying. I felt something cold and hard wrapping around my waste. They felt remotely like Edwards arms.

I had been sure I was drowning, so confusion was evident when my head rose above the surface and I was laid on rocks.

"Bella? Bella!" I saw Edwards head frantically bobbing above my own.

"Bella open your eyes!" Strange, I don't remember closing them. Oh well, I'm crazy and dying anyways. "No you can't give up just stay with me please Bella! I need you....." His voice trailed as I went into unconsciousness.


Edward Point Of View

The jumble of voices floated around me, and their accompanying thought filled my mind as I tried to block out my feelings and my own thoughts, as if it were possible to block her out. I always new my Bella was stubborn until she got what she wanted, but this was getting ridiculous. She wouldn't leave me alone. Her face and her voice, her easy blush and her all-consuming light haunted my mind like no thoughts ever had, not that I'd change it if I could.

I couldn't take this. I needed to see my Bella. At least I hope she was still mine – selfish as that may be. I raced through the city lit by torches and city lights. Carnival was in full swing in Rio but the joy in the festivities was lost on me. Or had been, until I had made this decision – the knowledge that I was returning to the quiet little town where the rain always falls and will forever be the place I can call home was invigorating, and finally I could start to get some understanding of why people were still functioning let alone smiling and dancing and laughing, even though the world had ended months ago, but then I remembered that it was jut my own personal world that had ended, not everybody had made themselves leave the loves of their existence so that they could be safe, not everybody else was a vampire who stupidly enough fell in love with a human, let alone their singer – not that I'd take that back either. She had made my pathetic existence livable for the too short time we were together, but if I had my way, we would have an eternity together.

That last thought made me stop and feel another emotion- and changes in my emotion were increasingly rare these days-, shock. Did I really just allow myself to even consider changing Bella? Of course, I had wanted her to be with me forever since I realized I loved her, but that was not an option, for I refused to make her a monster. My angel shouldn't need to feel the thirst or the shame or the sadness or the emptiness that came with being a vampire. Mind you, I had only felt empty when I was without her, before she was even born mostly, I remember all to clearly how the days and nights blurred together when you were alone. But I would never let her to be alone. I would make sure that she had something to remember each day by, and her days wouldn't blur and her nights would be always be something to remember.

I wouldn't allow her to feel shame, because what did she have to be ashamed of. She had done nothing wrong and I knew she would never be a murder. She could never be a monster even if she was a vampire. She wouldn't be sad, because she would have the love of her family, and me, her mate. The thirst was unavoidable really, but precautions could be taken to make it easier and much more manageable.

She always said she wanted this, but how could she give up growing up and having kids and a SOUL for me? That never made sense to me. How could she, a human with human emotions, want to give up that much for me? She said I underestimated her love but how could she really love me as much as I her? She was my mate where as I was simply her high school boyfriend.

'Yer, the high school boyfriend that she, by all rights, wanted to die for.' That cryptic little voice in the back of my head reminded me, you know that one that wants you to allow yourself to believe what you really want to believe? Yer that one. Well I wanted to believe that she loved me as much as she said, as much as I loved her, even if I knew no one would ever love another as much as I loved my Bella.

But I would only ever allow Bella to be changed if she really wanted it, and if I knew that she would have a soul.

But hadn't I always called her my soul mate? And how could I have a soul mate if I didn't have a soul? How could I love and feel the bonds I felt towards her and my family if I had no soul. How could I possibly feel the sorrow and torment of being without her if I was soul-less. And I defiantly felt the pain, I doubt that I would ever forget it, even if I didn't have a vampire memory. More importantly I knew that I loved her, nothing was more powerful than my emotions for her, so if she were my soul mate, didn't I need to have a soul? Plus, Bella always said that when she looked into my eyes, it was like she could see straight into my soul – and Bella could not lie. Maybe I really wasn't soul-less

Plus, the mere idea of a creature like Bella not having a soul, vampire or human, was simply crazy.

This thought had me reeling, I could actually have a soul! And really that left no reason for why I couldn't change my love and made this whole separation even more pointless than I had earlier imagined! All I had to do now was get home and tell her……..

But what if she didn't want me. I wouldn't blame her of course and I defiantly wouldn't force myself upon her. I had hurt her and lied to her and broken promises, even if I thought it was for the best. If she wanted to be with me but didn't want to be like me, than I would be alright with that. I would stay with her until she ordered me away, but I would always be on the sideline to make sure she was alright or if she wanted me back.

I shook my head against such depressing thoughts, enjoying the fact that I could breath again and started to run again, pushing my legs as fast as I could, gradually gaining more and more speed. Other vampires probably couldn't even see me now.

I arrived at the airport and ran into the terminal, wishing that humans new about vampires so I could truly run. The woman at the counter assessed me with a smile on her face as she pushed her obviously fake lips and chest towards me, until she reached my own face, or maybe just my eyes. The black colour would be enough to scare her, but the dead look in them could make even a vampire depressed. I gave a sparing thought to Jasper, he must have been glad I left, at least on some level even if he would not admit that.

"What can I do for you sir?" The woman asked in a strained voice, as she tried to avoid my face. At least my eyes had put a halt to those obscene fantasies going through her head. I would only ever be like that with Bella….

Wait you don't even no if she still loves you and your thinking about doing THAT with her. What is wrong with you!

" I need a ticket to Port Angeles In Washington, America ."

" There is a flight leaving in an hour sir. Would you like a ticket on that?"

What a stupid question, didn't I just say that I wanted to go to Port Angeles? No I don't want to get on the next plane, I want to go next week I just came early to make sure I didn't miss the flight!

"Yer, I would appreciate that." I said in the politest voice I could manage, trying not to glare at her.

She printed my ticket and I raced to the terminal, as if that was going to make the plane come faster. Once I was seated I looked longingly towards the music store, but shook my head as a giant pain erupted in my chest. I gasped a turned my head, as my arms automatically would around my mid-section. I was better, but obviously still not healed. No doubt that that would take some time, and more important, Bella. I wanted to be able to play her her lullaby, but that might take some times. Unless she asked me to because I just could not deny her anything. After what seemed to be much more than an hour (I had already gotten up eight times to ask what was taking so long just to realize that barley any time had passed at all) they called my flight. I was the first up and the first on the plane. Honestly, I have no idea who I sat next to or what happened. My trip was filled with nothing but thoughts of Bella and I was quite content with that, but then my hone rang, making me jump. The sudden action caused the woman next to me to scream and that made her baby start crying. After apologizing profusely I whipped out my phone and glared at the caller ID. Of course Alice would have seen this.

"Edward!!" Was my greeting, as soon as I answered the phone.

"Hello sister dear, whatever may I do for you?" I answered in a monotone, but not without a smirk.

"Oh come off it Edward I can see that smirk. Now I'm gathering up the family and we should be in Forks a few hours after you as you will be landing in 48 minutes. Bella should be home by the time that you get there but I'm not sure, she's blurry because my brother wouldn't let me look for her. I honestly can't remember why I put up with that guy…….."

"Because you love me, and I'm going back." I said in a meek voice, knowing that she would forgive me.

"Oh that's right! Well anyway, I must be off, these suitcases will not pack themselves and I have a best friend to soon be reacquainted with. Don't hog her alright? Talk later Edward and I'll see you soon!" And with that final statement she hung up. The next forty eight minutes passed in a blur and soon enough I was on the ground and racing towards Forks.

I wasn't to far away when my phone rang again. Alice could be persistent and at the present time, what with being so close to Bella I couldn't even be annoyed.

"Hello Alice-" But my greeting was cut of with Her terrified ramblings of

"Bella, La Push, Future not there, cliff!! Run Edward!! Don't just stand there run!"

That was all the incentive I needed. The treaty was forgotten and I didn't care about the borderline. I ran past the line that would lead me to my love and kept on pushing my legs until I could see the ocean and the rocks. I was on a trail and I caught that delicious scent that evoked not only the monster but the man in me. Ignoring the burn I followed it and raced up the hills, to were the cliff reached it peek and Bella's scent was clearest. And then there she was. My Bella, just standing at the edge, her feet softly tracing the edge. I didn't dare move any closer or try to grab her, in fear that I would shock her and she would fall. So instead I spoke softly as I tried to fight away the panic that was still inside of me and was making things like breathing and not shouting and not crying and standing still all but impossible.

"Bella." I tried to be calm but I do not know if that quite worked. None the less, she exhaled. I had a chance at this, she had heard me and hopefully she would listen and step away from her death, not turn and trip or jump anyway. She couldn't hate me that much could she? The worry was starting to build up again so I spoke one more. She had to leave that edge.

"Don't do this." She couldn't do this.

Still no movement from Bella and I feared that she hadn't heard me. "Please. For me."

At this stage she still hadn't responded, though her heart had sped up but adrenaline was now pulsing through her system.

"Please, you can not do this to me!! Just step away Bella!!" I thought I saw a slight hesitation but then she did the unthinkable. My beloved jumped from the jagged rocks and it was all I could do to roar her name "Bella no!" as she let out a scream with so many emotions that it all but broke my dead heart. I jumped in after her and saw her meet the water, narrowly missing the rocks. I could see the ocean swallowing her just as I submerged. With all the underwater activity, it was hard to find her, but I did it. Her brown eyes met my black and she looked so bewildered and happy and……..content that I just wanted to scream. You would think she wanted to die!! A big set of waves blew her away from me just as I had started to move again and the crack from her ribs was obvious even from here. The sound echoed and shook me to the core. The waves continued to pull her away and closer to more outcroppings of rocks as I struggled to get to her. She flew into another rock and again I heard the sound of her bones breaking and I felt sick. I could see the blood oozing from her head and became even more desperate. I finally reached her and wrapped my arms around her tiny waist.

As inappropriate as it was at the present time, I could help but marvel in the fact that she still fit into me perfectly, even if she was much skinner, and a quarter of an inch taller, it seemed. I pulled her from the ocean and set her on the rocks.

Her eyes opened and they held so much love and confusion and joy that I just wanted to stare into them forever. "Bella! Bella?" She just had to answer. But her eyes closed and then I felt as if I had died, again. "No you can't give up just stay with me please Bella! I need you…….." Her heartbeat was slowing and she was loosing to much blood and I could tell that she was giving up. I would not allow her to die! She couldn't die not knowing the truth. She couldn't, and selfish as it may be, she couldn't leave me. She was my Bella and we had had so little time together. I always knew that when she were to die, I would to, but I had the chance to stop this, and we could be together again. The hope bubbled up inside of me and suddenly all that I could remember was her voice and the count less times she had told me that she would always love me no matter what and that she wanted to be like me, that she wanted to be my equal. I remembered her smiling and kissing me and telling me that she loved me more than life and with that image I had my decision. I had made up my mind. I took a deep breath and slowly lowered my lips to her slender and soft neck.

So what do you think???? I know this has been done before but I love it I really appreciate reviews and accept criticism. The second chapter is almost done, I'm halfway there and it should be up by Tuesday. Tell me what you think.