A/N: Thank you so much for your patience, things were out of my control, really…please see note at the bottom.
Thanks to OnTheTurningAway for taking time out from her busy schedule of working and packing to get this turned around ASAP…she rocks my world and I get to finally meet her on Friday so to say I am excited would be an understatement.
Disclaimer: I own tickets to see 100 Monkeys…SM owns the rest.
"Who is it, Edward? I know him, don't I?"
I nodded and whispered desperately, "Promise me, Em?"
"I promise, Edward. I won't say a word." He was sincere and I felt the weight lift, finally, as I prepared to say my next words.
"It's Jasper." He looked at me, confused. "You know him better as Mr. Whitlock."
"Oh holy Fuck, Edward!" Emmett gasped.
"No!" He pleaded.
"Yes," I hissed into the silent room.
Emmett sat there, staring at me with his mouth open in shock and his eyes locked on me, looking for any signs of deceit. I didn't say a word, letting the words sink in. He would need a few minutes before he was ready to talk rationally, I knew this from experience. Sitting there waiting was awful. I was fidgeting and chewing on my lip, nervous about the conversation about to take place.
Emmett was the best friend I had, the only one I could trust, and I was terrified at his reaction. He now had the power to bring this down all around us and I hoped and prayed that he wouldn't. I needed him to help me put all of this in perspective, to help me deal with what happened to Jasper and be who he needed me to be. Emmett was the only one I knew who had the insight and compassion to give me sound, and hopefully unbiased, advice.
"When did it start?" Emmett's voice was apprehensive and fearful. He knew that once we started this talk, there was no going back.
"Um, before winter break, like the day before," I said, looking at my shoes, not ready to see the expression on his face.
"Oh, Edward," he sighed. "Was he the one who got you so upset when your mom called?"
"Yes," I murmured. "We kinda had a...um...something happened between us, for the first time. It didn't end well."
Emmett stood up and looked down at me, waiting for me to meet his eyes. Finally, when it was obvious he wasn't going to say anything, I looked up at him. His expression was grim and I could see that he was not at all happy with me.
"Something kinda happened between you? Kinda? Your mom told me about your neck, I think it was more than kinda something. Are you shitting me, Edward?" He belted out in that voice he saved for when he was really pissed.
"No, Emmett, I'm not shitting you." I rolled my eyes and looked away.
"Look at me you little fucker, don't roll your eyes at me." Emmett was glaring at me, clearly upset. "This is not a joking situation, although if you tell me it's all a joke, I won't be pissed."
Sighing, I looked up at him, "Not a joke, dude. I can't even say that I wish it were, because I wouldn't give him up for the world now."
"Edward...did he...are you...fuck!" He started to pace the room, trying hard to get the words out. It was grating on my nerves.
"What? Spit it out, jeez! Ask me, just stop pacing," I told him angrily.
"Are you fucking him?" He yelled. "Is that clear enough for you?"
Emmett walked over to the bed and sat down, waiting for me to answer.
"Are you kidding me, Em? Don't you think you would be the first one to know if I wasn't a virgin anymore?"
"So that's a no?" He asked.
"It's a big no, hell no!" I exclaimed.
God, Edward...what were you thinking? How did it happen? Did he come onto you? Do you know..."
"Enough!" I interrupted. "One question at a time. I'll tell you everything, just slow down."
Emmett leaned back against the headboard, trying to calm down. I waited patiently for him to be ready.
"Can you just start at the beginning and let me interrupt when I have a question? I am going to try to go into this with an open mind, but fuck...not lying when I say I am terrified for you, Edward."
Sitting next to him, I tried to think of the easiest way to tell him how I fell in love with Jasper.
"I felt something, the first time I saw him. It was instant, the way I felt about him. I walked into history class on the first day of school and felt like someone punched me right in the gut when my eyes connected with his. I really can't explain it other than I knew he was meant to alter my life in some way."
"Like Rosie," Emmett said softly.
"Yes, like Rose. At first, it was instant attraction, I am not going to lie about that, but things changed. I needed him, Emmett. I needed to touch him, to kiss him, to see if he felt even an quarter of what I felt."
Emmett let out a deep breath next to me.
"Didn't you think that maybe it wasn't a good idea, man? I mean, shit... he's your teacher."
"Dude, you have no idea how many times I talked myself out of doing what I did right before winter break, but I had to know. I could always feel his eyes on me and I would catch him watching me too. This relationship is not one-sided."
Emmett snorted out loud. "Are you fucking kidding me, Eddie? Not one sided? No offense to your 'relationship'," he stressed in air quotes, "but he's how old?"
"Twenty-six," I said in a tight voice. He was starting to piss me off and I was trying to rein in my temper.
"Are you listening to yourself? You are seventeen, Edward. Seventeen!" he emphasized. "Do you really think you are more than a fuck to this guy?" He asked incredulously.
"Fuck you, Emmett!" I yelled, getting off the bed and standing against the wall. "I am not fucking him, I told you that."
"Sorry...a blow job then, or whatever the fuck it is you did to him."
"I love him!" I cried out. "Love, you asshole. This isn't some fling, not something that is going to go away. It is forever."
"Really? Forever?" Emmett asked, sarcasm dripping from his words.
"Does he love you back?"
"Yes," I hissed, angry and insulted that Emmett wasn't even giving our feelings the benefit of the doubt.
"Has he told you that? Maybe while your mouth was around his dick? That would be the opportune time, huh?"
My heart fell to the floor and all my insecurities involving the way Jasper felt about me came rushing to the surface.
"No," I whispered. "He hasn't told me, but I know he does." My voice was clogged with emotion and tears were stinging the backs of my eyes, but I refused to let Emmett see how much this hurt me.
All of the anger left Emmett's body and he looked at me with pity on his face and I didn't fucking need it.
"Don't you fucking look at me like that, Emmett. You have no idea what we feel, what we have shared, what we mean to one another..."
I walked over to where he sat and pushed my finger into his chest, hard.
"No. Fucking. Idea." I walked back over to the wall and glared at him.
"How do you know? That he loves you...how do you know?" Emmett asked, concern lacing his features.
"In the things he does and says, you have to trust me, Em. I know he does, even if he can't say it. He has had some fucked up shit happen to him and that is part of why I had to tell you. I don't know how to handle some of the things he has told me. I need your help."
"I just have a hard time believing a grown man is in love with a high school kid. I'm sorry Edward. I am trying to have an open mind here, but I need a few minutes to wrap my head around what you are saying. All I see in my head is Mary Kay LeTourneu and that kid she had an affair with. I do not want that to be you."
"Emmett, please, there is a huge difference. That kid was eleven or something and it was disgusting and illegal. If he weren't my teacher or if I were a few months older, none of this would even be an issue. Well, not as big of one, anyways."
I walked back over to the bed and sat back down next to him.
"Em?" I murmured. "He loves me, I know he does and there is so much going on, I don't even know where to start...I need your help."
Emmett ran his fingers through his hair in agitated strokes.
"God, Edward, part of me wants to run straight to your parents and tell them to save you from the hell you are putting yourself through over the man. I have seen it first hand...I have been worried about you and if you want me to be honest here...I thought you were fucking around with that Jacob kid or something."
Fear coursed through every nerve in my body, that is the one thing I feared, him ratting me out. I sat and waited anxiously for the rest of it.
"The other part of me wants to be the best friend I know you need and help you in whatever way I can. I am so torn, tell me why my second option is the best option, Edward. Tell me if I help you in this I am not making the wrong choice, that it will not lead you further into the storm that you are drowning in right now."
"He is my forever, my Rose. When I told him that I wanted him in my future, through all that lies ahead, he told me I wasn't the only one who wanted that. He has told me he loves me in the actions he takes, the words he says, even if they aren't those three words."
Leaning back against the pillows, I continued.
"God, Em, you have no idea what he has done for me, to protect me and keep me out of trouble."
"Then tell me, Edward. I don't know anything but what you tell me."
"We met at a coffee shop in Port Angeles, to talk."
"Wow, that wasn't your smartest move, Edward."
"Why was it bad? We were just going to talk."
Emmett scoffed, "Why was it bad? Are you shitting me? You met your teacher, in public, to talk about your relationship. Wouldn't that shit be better handled behind closed doors?"
I felt the fiery heat of embarrassment stain my cheeks as I thought about why we couldn't talk behind closed doors.
"Why are you blushing, Eddie?" he asked.
"Ummm," I stammered. "We have trouble being alone together."
"Oh, dude, enough said. Ugh," he said as his body shuddered. "Really, Edward?"
"You asked, I am trying to be honest."
"You're right, I fucking did, continue."
"Anyway, we met at the coffee shop and Ms. Denali saw us and took a picture with her camera phone."
"Are you shitting me, Edward? She took a fucking picture? What were you doing? Kissing?"
"No!" I exclaimed. "We were sitting at the table talking, but I haven't seen the picture and I overheard her telling Jasper that if he didn't pretend to be her girlfriend, she would tell everyone about us and get him thrown in jail...he fucking agreed to do it and it makes me sick to my stomach."
"What?" Emmett asked, baffled by my statement. "Why would he agree to that? Is he bi or something?"
"No, Emmett, you idiot...he isn't bi. He agreed to it so she wouldn't tell anyone she saw us together, to protect me, and I fucking hate it." The disgust at the situation was rolling through me and I felt sick.
"You okay, Eddie?" Emmett asked, looking at me and knowing something was wrong.
"No...I...he...please, Emmett...don't doubt he loves me," I whispered.
"Okay, Edward, you win...I'll help you."
My head snapped up and I looked at my best friend with a grateful expression on my face.
"Oh, thank you, Emmett. You have no idea how much this means to me."
He looked at me closely, a guarded expression on his face. "I didn't say I was happy about it, but you are my best friend, Edward. What do you want me to do?"
"I just want you to be there for me, to be the one I can talk to because I really am in over my head."
"I can try, man...that's all I can promise you. Just remember this one thing, you are the one I love and care about and if at any point I feel like you are in danger, I will tell your parents."
All of a sudden I felt like I had made the biggest mistake of my life telling him, because if he told my parents, I wouldn't be the only casualty. I was petrified, if Jasper knew I had told Emmett about us, he would kill me or break up with me.
Well, if he dumps you, you may as well be dead.
NO! You idiot...don't you remember...what he went through.
Fuck...I am so...arghhhh.
"Edward!" Emmett said, loud enough to wake the neighbors. "Where the fuck did you go, man? I was talking and no one was home."
I shook myself out of my daze, "Sorry, Em, I was just thinking."
"Well, listen...dude, about Ms. Denali...I have an idea, but it is going to take some work on your part."
My ears perked up immediately, anxious to hear his idea to get that whore away from my...well...whatever he was to me. Emmett was a genius when it came to certain things and getting his way was one of them.
"Dude...there's the Sweetheart Dance coming up soon, right?"
"Yes," I said, wondering where he was going with this.
"You need to be there, with a date because you can't go to the Sweetheart Dance stag."
"Why do I need to be at the stupid dance and why do I need a date?" I did not want a fucking date to the dance. The only person I wanted to take was Jasper and that was obviously not a possibility.
"Because...Edward...the McCarty household will be hosting the after party of all after parties. There will be booze, tunes, cameras and most importantly...Tanya Denali."
My face lit up into a grin, because now I knew exactly where he was going with this. If we could get some pictures of Tanya drunk and acting like a fool, maybe Ms. Denali would take her claws out of Jasper to save her daughter's reputation.
"Here's the thing, Eddie... I need to know, how much do you love him?" Emmett was looking at me, a serious expression on his face.
"More than anything, why?"
"Because, Edward, if we are going to do this, you are going to have to do some things that I know will make you uncomfortable."
My heart dropped, because this was Emmett talking and it could be nothing or it could be something big and I was almost scared to find out what he wanted.
"Like what?" I asked timidly.
"We need to get Tanya on video doing something that would embarrass her mother if it came out, something that would get her to leave you guys alone."
"You mean like get her drunk and dancing on the tables?" I still wasn't understanding what was so bad, other than the fact that I was going to use Tanya's antics for the sake of Jasper.
"No, Edward..." Emmett paused, looking at me with a wary expression. "It needs to be worse."
His voice was so ominous, I wondered what exactly he wanted us to video her doing and almost felt sick to my stomach. It was not in my nature to use people and that is exactly what I was about to do. I have always heard we do things we wouldn't normally do in the name of love, but I never thought it would be at the sake of another.
"What?" I whispered.
"Edward, honestly...you need to be at that party...you need to flirt with her...you need to get her to do anything to try to win your affections...anything."
Oh God, he wants me to use the way she feels about me...holy fuck...what does he want me to do?
"Emmett, I am so lost right now, can you please, spit it out for fuck's sake."
He looked at me, gaging my emotional state before proceeding. He knew me well enough to know that I was getting pissed off and more anxious by the second.
"You need to get her into a..." he paused for a second before continuing, "compromising position."
"I am not getting in bed with Tanya Denali asshole!" I yelled.
Emmett looked at me incredulously, "You think that would be enough, Edward? Or that I would ever tell you to do that?"
Knowing him the way I did, I know he would never ask that of me, but for a second, it was all that I could think about.
"Just listen for a second," he said.
"Okay," I answered, telling him with my eyes to continue.
"I don't know exactly what the situation is going to be, Edward. It will present itself that night. We just have to be prepared and know that you may have to flirt and encourage her already raunchy behavior. You know that bitch smokes out, fucks more than one guy at a time and makes out with chicks when drunk. We need to get her to do one of those things or something worse that night and get it on camera to show her mother. It will be our golden ticket to get you out of the mess you are in."
I sat there, thinking all these crazy thoughts, wondering if it was something I could bring myself to do. She had never offended me in any way other than her over zealous flirting and I felt bad that I was willing to do this to her. My hope would be that I wouldn't have to encourage anything, that she would get herself into the situation and all I would have to do is have Emmett get it on video.
It was such an awful thing to do, but then the sound of Jasper's dejected voice when he agreed to the sham of a relationship with Ms. Denali made Tanya all of a sudden seem like nothing but a small pawn in a much bigger playing field. It was unfortunate, but she needed to be used and then removed.
Jasper was worth it, our love was worth it and we were worth fighting for. He needed me and I needed him so badly. He was my future and I would do anything for him, no matter what the cost. I would gladly give up my soul if it meant I got to spend eternity in his arms.
Our future was manifesting itself behind my closed eyes. I could see it all, him waiting for me until graduation and following me to wherever I went to college, teaching at a local school. I saw him sitting in the stands with my parents as I walked the stage to get my Bachelor's degree and my family accepting him and our love. We had a bright and happy future ahead of us, we just needed to get through the rest of this school year. I had faith that we could do it and only be stronger for it.
Opening my eyes I looked into Emmett's and nodded, "Let's do it."
"Good, I will work on the party details and you need to get a date."
"I still don't get why I need a date, Em."
"For a few reasons...first, you can't go to the dance solo, we established that, it just looks ridiculous and pathetic and people will wonder why you are there. You aren't that guy Edward and I want nothing we do to call attention to anything being out of the ordinary. Second, you need to make Tanya jealous and you know she will be jealous of anyone you happen to be there with. Last, you need to let people think that you have an interest in someone so there is no way to call attention to yourself and Mr. Whitlock."
"Em, he will be hurt if he knows I am going to the dance with someone...well, let's be honest here, Jacob. He already loathes him and hates that we are friends and flirt so openly."
"Please," Emmett snorted. "Doesn't he know that you flirt with man and woman alike? Gay or straight you are a natural flirt, Eddie."
"Emmett, we have so much to learn about one another and I have told him. I also told him that I do not want to call attention to ourselves in school, but I know he will still be upset with me and we have spent more time upset with one another than happy. I don't want that, I want the sweet, happy romantic times and not the angry, sad or dark ones."
I took a breath and continued on.
"There have been so many dark times for him and I don't want to bring him anymore. I need to tell him what we are doing."
"Edward, no!" Emmett thundered. "You can't, it will ruin it all. I can tell you now that he won't allow it to happen and then you will still be in the same situation, which will only get worse."
I thought about what Emmett said and realized he was probably right. I couldn't tell Jasper and when he found out about me going to the dance with Jacob, it wasn't going to help our situation at all. After everything he had told me about Felix and Paul, I was afraid to lose his the fragile bonds of trust he had bestowed upon me. When he told me about his past I knew he was letting me into to the darkest parts of his tortured soul and I didn't know what the right thing to do was anymore.
"I know you're right, but there is a little more to the story, to his story. Without betraying every shred of confidence he has in me, just know that his past lover used him, cheated on him and Jasper holds himself responsible for the demise of another in the whole scenario. He is broken and I don't know how to handle all of it, I am overwhelmed with it all."
Emmett peered into my eyes, asking for brutal honesty, "Does he trust you?"
"Yes," I answered. "There is no way he would have told me everything if he didn't."
"Then, Edward, he may be hurt for a minute, but you need to have faith in the trust he has in you. If he truly loves you and trusts you implicitly, he will understand when it is all said and done and we need to do this for the two of you. It is the only way I can see it working out."
Emmett was right, there was no other way to end the Denali situation quickly. The dance was the following weekend and I would need to ask Jacob to be my date. Forks was such a small school that there was no way Jasper wouldn't hear about it. I would wait for him to come to me and hopefully in the mean time I would think of something plausible to say.
"Another thing, Eddie..."
I looked over at Emmett with a wary expression, what else could he possibly have to say?
"You need to try your hardest to not look at him, talk to him or interact with him in anyway while you are at school. The things you have done already are very risky and you are lucky worse hasn't happened. You know I am right."
"Yes," I whispered. "You are. It will be so hard, he says so much to me with his eyes, sometimes more than words can."
"Then that more than solidifies my point, Edward. If his eyes are speaking to you, other people will be able to tell and I do not want anything to happen to you."
"I know, Em...I don't either, for his sake too. This coming week is going to be hell but I will do it for him, I just hope I still have him when this week is all said and done."
My fear was palpable, I had a feeling Jasper was exceptionally fragile after what he revealed to me and this could do real harm to our relationship. I would have to trust in his faith in me, like Emmett said and hope it all went according to plan. Tanya was going down for the sins of her mother, that was one more thing on my already overburdened conscience.
"Em, I am beat, can we get some shut eye?"
"You got it, Ed...but remember, no spooning."
I rolled my eyes, flipped him off and slipped under the covers, falling asleep immediately.
Saturday dawned and the whole day was uneventful. I spent most it at Emmett's, catching up on much needed sleep. Sunday wasn't any better, my hands were dying to dial Jasper and spill everything before tomorrow, but I knew it wasn't a possibility. Everything was going to have to be done under the radar, at least his radar. I focused on getting my mask of indifference in place and prepared to practically ignore the man I loved tomorrow.
Monday morning I woke up to bright sunlight streaming through my windows. I would have preferred the overcast sky to match my demeanor, but instead the gorgeous weather outside was mocking me. Never once did a smile grace my face as I got ready that morning. I needed to be prepared to see Jasper, but keep my feelings totally hidden. Trying not to look at him would be difficult, no worse, it would be torture, but I had to do this for us.
Alice sensed my mood and chose not to say a word on the way to school and for once I was grateful that she didn't push me. When I got to school, I met Emmett by my locker and his expression was as grim as mine. He knew how hard this was going to be for me and I knew seeing Jasper for the first time after what I revealed was going to be difficult for him too. He was now privy to our secret world and although it was not an ideal place for him to be, I for one was glad.
"You okay little E?" he asked.
I sighed, "I've been better, man...but I am ready, I know I can make this happen."
"I have faith in you, Eddie...let's do this."
We parted and went our separate ways. The day was spent avoiding any halls that would lead me straight into Jasper's path. My body was crying out to run to him and to hell with what Emmett said, but my brain was going to win out this time. There was a mission, I was now an active participant and any damage done to Jasper in the interim would be better for us in the long run.
When it finally came to be time for History, I slowly walked towards my classroom, my body getting more and more anxious with each step. My goal was to avoid any contact that would not be conducive to normal student-teacher behavior. I hoped to God I could do it.
"Hey, Edward...wait up," I heard Jacob yell from behind me. My heart started to thunder in my chest, knowing if we walked in talking, it could only help me accomplish what needed to happen. Why was I so apprehensive?
Turning around, I waited for him to catch up. He still made me catch my breath sometimes when I looked at him. He was so good-looking and being around people I found attractive like that made me stammer sometimes. Jacob did not need to know that I thought he was hot, I didn't need any extra flirting on his part, he already did enough.
"Jacob," I said when he walked up to me. "How's it going today?"
"Good, real good now that I found you," he winked at me and nudged me with his shoulder.
I groaned, "Jake...haven't we had this talk?"
"I know, I know...you aren't into me, but...there is a rumor I heard about a dance coming up?"
Oh god...was he gonna make it that easy for me? Could I actually do this? No!
I swallowed hard, "I heard the same rumor, Jacob."
"So...you gotta date?" he asked.
"Nope," I answered. It was too real now, there was no way, I couldn't do it to Jasper, we would have to find another way.
"Well then," he said, "it is the perfect time for you to ask me then...I'll make it easy for you, I will say yes." He looked at me, a huge smile lighting up his handsome face and I felt bad that I was about to do what I was. He was trying so hard to be my friend, an overly flirtatious one, but still a friend.
"I am not asking you to the dance, Jacob. I am not going." Emmett was going to kill me, but I would deal with him later.
"Why?" he asked. "You afraid that you won't be able to control your want for me?" he asked with a salacious wink.
I rolled my eyes. He was so ridiculous sometimes.
"Don't worry, Edward, I won't let you kiss me, no matter how hard you try."
I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing.
"Don't worry Jacob, there is no danger of that, I promise."
We were nearing the class now and my breathing was becoming erratic. My body knew he was in there and I realized this was worse than I ever thought, how was I supposed to ignore him?
"Whatever, Eddie," Jacob said as we entered the room. "You want me, admit it and ask me to the dance."
I laughed nervously as I headed to my desk, "Jacob, I am not going to the dance. I don't do dances."
I felt Jacob reach over and grab my hand, "Come on, you want me to ask you, is that it?"
My heart was pounding, I knew Jasper was watching, I could feel his eyes on me and I was getting slightly nauseous.
"Jacob, I am not going, no matter who does the asking," I said, quickly pulling my hand free from his. There were things that Jasper just didn't need to see. Flirt or not.
I knew if I lifted my eyes, I would meet Jasper's and I willed my body not to do so. I felt Jacob walk up behind me and then his arms wrapped around me as he spoke into my ear.
Oh God, not good.
"Please, I'm new here, please? I'll make it fun for you, I promise."
My eyes immediately flew up to the front of the room and I met the piercing blue gaze of Jasper's eyes for a brief second before I let them drop again. It only took that moment for me to realize what I had to do, as hard as it was going to be on both of us, I had to do this. Here was to hoping his trust in me was as strong as I hoped.
"Fine, Jacob. I'll go to the dance with you, but I won't promise to actually dance," I told him as I pushed his arms away from me.
"Thanks, Edward, really...you won't regret it, I promise," Jacob said enthusiastically as he took the seat next to mine.
We'll see about that.
I spent the rest of class in a daze, refusing to even look at Jasper once, knowing that if I did I would get on my hands and knees, pleading for his understanding. The minutes dragged slower than sand passing through an hourglass. Never once did I go back on my agreement with Emmett, my feelings stayed locked up inside of me, completely hidden from the word and Jasper. When the bell rang, I got up and walked out of the classroom, not stopping until I reached my locker.
When I opened it, I leaned against the open door, trying to catch my breath. My heart was pleading with me to run back in there and tell him everything, so he would know why I was going to the dance with Jacob, that I would never purposely make him sit through that conversation when he couldn't do a thing about it. I knew he was confused, he had to be. If the tables were turned I would have been. After a few minutes, I decided that no matter what Emmett said, I had to say something to him so he was reassured. I needed him to know how much I loved him and so I headed back to the classroom, hoping he was still in there.
I walked slowly, shooting a quick text to Alice that I was running a few minutes late, but to wait by the car. All of Emmett's words were replaying in my mind and I knew he was right, this was not at all smart and downright stupid. At that moment, it didn't matter. I just needed a minute to make him understand. I would be careful.
When I got to the room, the door was closed. I reached for the knob and twisted, but the door was locked. I tried one more time, but nothing. Guessing that he already left, I turned to go, my shoulders heavy with disappointment but my body slightly relieved that now Emmett wouldn't be mad at me.
Walking away from the room, I realized that someone was looking out for me and my stupid, idiotic ways. If he had been in there, I might have made a big mistake. When I got to the end of the hall I swore I heard voices coming from his room, but they must have been from somewhere else. I met Alice out at the car, she was more than ready to get out of here and so was I.
On the way home, she finally spoke to me.
You doing okay now?" she asked.
"Yeah," I muttered. "I had a stressful weekend."
"I know, I could tell," she said in a quiet voice. "I'm worried about you, Edward."
I let out a deep breath, "I know you have been and I'm sorry. Things have just been...crazy."
"I try not to push you, but please remember that you have someone to talk to if you need it."
I reached over and grabbed her hand, "I know, Alice and I appreciate it. Things are going to get better, I promise." I gave her hand one final squeeze before letting go.
"I love you, no matter what, always remember that."
"I love you too, Ali...thank you."
We arrived at the house and I went straight to my room, needing to be alone as I replayed over and over again the events in the classroom. My emotions were all over the place and the only thing that was going to make it better was to talk to Jasper, but that wasn't a possibility right now.
You could always drive over to his house and talk to him...
Fuck, what do I do?
Stay your ass at home, that's what, you fucking dumb ass.
Yep, staying home was definitely the right thing to do. Pulling out my homework, I attempted to get it done and thankfully, I was so distracted that it took until dinner was ready for me to finish. When I walked down to eat with my family, I was surprised to see Emmett sitting at the table.
"Hey man," I said, giving him a confused look. "What's up?"
"Eddie, my man, I stopped by to talk to you and your lovely mother asked me to stay for dinner. You know I can't say no to Mrs. C's cooking." He rubbed his stomach hungrily and my mom blushed. He was such a kiss ass.
"You could have come up and said hi or something," I muttered.
"No way, the food was down here," he said with a big grin.
Normally, he would have called me before coming over, unless I missed it. Reaching into my pocket, I pulled my phone out and there was a text message. It was from, huh? "Yours"...oh god...Jasper. A smile lit up my face when I realized who it was from, even though I knew he was probably pissed at me. My whole body warmed just thinking about him. I quickly opened the text, wondering what he had to say to me.
We need to talk, soon, about everything.
I quickly responded back for him to let me know when and where then sat down. My heart was racing at the thought of seeing him and I assumed he wanted to talk about Jacob and the dance. Dinner was uneventful save for Emmett's own version of Comedy Central, but I was too distracted to notice. My thoughts were on Jasper. When we were finished and I had rinsed out my plate, I went to the backyard with Emmett, turned on the heater and laid in a chair.
"Edward, I need to tell you something," Emmett said in a serious, no nonsense voice.
"What's going on, Em?" I asked, wondering what was bugging him. "Oh! By the way, I'm going to the dance with Jacob."
"Oh, good," he said unenthusiastically. Now I was really confused, I thought he would have been happier.
"You are gonna be mad at me, Champ. Really mad." He looked out into the distance at the night sky and I wondered what was going on.
"Can you just tell me please?" I said in a frustrated voice.
"Edward...fuck...I...dammit, don't be too pissed, okay?"
"Emmet! Fucking tell me...now!" I exclaimed loudly.
"I talked to Mr. Whitlock...about you," he whispered.
Shock consumed me and ice flowed through my veins, freezing me in place. All of my fears burst forth to the forefront of my mind and I knew I was now truly in danger of losing Jasper. He trusted me implicitly and Emmett made me a promise. His word meant nothing to me from this day forward, my trust in him was broken.
Oh my god, oh my god...fuck...oh shit...no...no...no!
"You did what?" I rasped.
"Edward, I am so sorry..." he said quietly. He sounded full of remorse and sorrow and the friend in me wanted to tell him it was all going to be okay, but right then, there was no fucking way that I could.
"Oh my god, Emmett...oh fuck...what were you thinking?"
My world was caving in on me and now I knew why he wanted to talk. At that moment I felt the vibrating in my pocket of my phone and I was terrified to look. If he sent a time to meet, I knew it quite possibly could be our last. He was not going to take well to me telling someone else and I feared his reaction.
"I'm sorry, so sorry, you have believe me..."
"Goddammit!" I interrupted.
"Edward, please...listen, it isn't as bad as you think." Emmett pleaded with me and I was not listening. I felt betrayed by my own best friend and now I really felt like I had no one to turn to. It was an awful feeling.
"Please, just leave," I told him.
"Edward...he knows...listen to me...that I am on your side," Emmett said, trying to get me to look at him. It was no use, I was pissed off and seething. His words were not getting through to me. My mind was on lock down and all I could hear inside my head was the fact that Emmett and Jasper had a conversation...about me. Emmett needed to get the fuck out of here, I needed to see Jasper and try to fix the mess.
"Would you fucking leave!" I said loudly, turning the full power of my fury on him. I reached out and shoved him in the chest. "Now!"
Emmett was starting to get angry, I could see it in the tense set of his jaw, but I didn't give a shit. He fucking lied to me, after everything, it was his fault if I lost it all and right then, I fucking hated him for it. How could he tell him without talking to me first? Was anybody worth counting on anymore?
"Listen you little fucker," he said. "Everything I have done, has been for you...so go talk to your boyfriend...he'll tell you. The only reason I am not beating the shit out of you right now is because you are upset, but know that after you talk to him and see it's all gonna be okay...Sorry isn't gonna cut it...asshole."
Emmett gave me a small shove and walked out the side gate, leaving me standing there, still nervous to look at my phone. I was such a dick. If it was anyone's fault, it was mine for opening my goddamn mouth. Deciding not to prolong the agony, I pulled out the phone and read his message.
Meet me at Olympic Park...as soon as you can.
Text when you are near and I will tell you where to go...
I felt slightly better after reading the last line, but still, I had told someone about us. Nervous as fuck but needing to get it done before I exploded, I went inside and told my mom I needed to go talk to Emmett and I headed for the park.
A/N: Okay…need to address a few things please and if you already read this in the Honeymoon chapter, sorry…but read after please…there is more!!
Real life has kicked my ass of late, if you follow me on Twitter, you know my child was very sick for nearly three weeks…he is and always will be my priority over writing…ALWAYS. I make no apologies for the wait when he is involved. It is never my intention to go this long, but it happens.
The next chapter is in the works and hopefully a healthy house will keep us on track…2-3 weeks to next post.
Everything's Bigger in Texas awards voting is still open, link on my profile, PSMW is up for an award in the Professor Jasper gives an A category. Please go vote if you feel so inclined.
I will be doing Fandom Gives Back this year, info will be on my profile as it becomes available, but keep that in mind if you want an outtake from this or any other story I have written, future or past…Also will be auctioning a one-shot of your choosing…any slash pairing, human or vamp, your prompt…so if you have a story you wish someone would write, keep that in mind.
Recs: I started reading two stories that own me and if you are not reading them…you need to!!
Say Something Else by vampireisthenewblack is so good and is not that far in…please, go read it!
Tracking Redemption by shoefreak37 is so amazing and it is complete…not that long so go check it out.
Reviews really do make me smile, laugh and cry all at once. Reviewers will get a tease of Jasper and Emmett's talk and if you guys can help get this baby to 1000 reviews, I will write another outtake, smut filled of course…
Thank you for your wonderful words and patience…they mean the world to me.