HOLY GEES AN ASSWARD UPDATE! I still down own anything.
Was Valentines Day even really a holiday? It seemed a little forced, what with all of the pink and purple, hearts and flowers, candy and kisses. Maybe it was because this was the first time that I wouldn't be single on February fourteenth, but I was having a hard time buying in to the whole "roses are red violets are blue" bullshit. I told Edward I loved him everyday so why was Valentines Day supposed to make me mean it even more? My skepticism about this pseudo-holiday didn't seem to matter though, because Cupid had enlisted the help of my best friend to get me into the lovey-dovey spirit. That's how I ended up in an overpriced lingerie store, trying on undergarments that made me blush just from looking at them on the hanger.
"Tell me again why I'm doing this?"
Alice handed me a handful of things to try on. "Because Valentines Day is supposed to be sexy."
"Even if we aren't having sex?" I wearily looked at the insane amounts of silk and lace that hung on the little puffy satin hangers. "This seems a little excessive."
Without a second thought, Alice began stripping down to try on her portion of the lingerie. Hers had a lot less fabric and left very little to the imagination. She watched her reflection in the mirror while tying a satin ribbon into a bow that sat directly between her boobs.
"Maybe you'll have sex on Valentines Day." She turned to look at her side profile. "What are you waiting for anyway? I know you want to and I know that you've messed around with Edward. Why not just finish what you've started?"
How did I explain to a woman had absolutely no personal insecurities, that sex was something that scared the shit out of me. What if Edward and I didn't work out? What if I ended up pregnant? I just didn't think this was a decision that I could or should make lightly.
"You weren't nervous with Jasper?" I asked her. Alice waited until I had finished putting on a hideously bright pink ensemble before answering me.
"I was nervous." She fixed the straps that crossed across my back and nodded her head. "But then I realized that it was… right. It was something that I wanted to give Jasper. I'm not trying to make you feel like sex is something to just do but Edward loves you, Bella. You don't have to be scared."
I stared at my reflection in the mirror in front of me. "I find it funny that you're campaigning for me to have premarital sex."
"I don't consider it sinful if I know you're going to end up married to him." Alice shrugged and handed me another item to try on. "And let's stay away from pinks. You need to look smoldering and seductive, not like you're covered in Pepto-Bismol."
The best part about working at the school's computer lab during nights and weekends was that nine times out of ten the place would be completely empty. The worst part about it was that, due to said emptiness, it was boring as hell the majority of the time. Thankfully, Edward had shown up on this particularly dull and boring Saturday night with coffee and a brownie.
I smiled as he walked towards me. "Hey."
He looked so adorably hot with his hair peeking out from the charcoal grey beanie he was wearing. Snowflakes were scattered across his dark coat and his nose and cheeks were tinted red from the wind that was blowing outside. After sitting our coffee cups and my brownie on the counter, he leaned forward and left a single kiss on my lips.
I smiled against his mouth. "I'm sorry sir, but no food or drinks are allowed in the computer lab."
"Oh yeah?" Edward laughed and leaned away from me. "Well my girlfriend is the night manager and I'm pretty sure she would allow an exception since I got the last triple chocolate fudge brownie from the bakery."
My fingers tapped the lid of one of the coffee cups. "And this?"
I nodded my head in approval. "As the night manager and your girlfriend, I approve."
Edward laughed again, a sound that made my heart scamper around in my chest, and then pulled his beanie and coat off. "So, although I did come to deliver you coffee and food, I also came to make you talk about Valentines Day plans."
I took my coffee and sat back on my stool. "We don't have to do anything."
"So you keep saying," Edward leaned against the counter and unwrapped my brownie. "But I know that deep down you really do want to do something." He held a piece of the chocolate goodness up to my mouth and smiled. "So either you give me some ideas of what you want, or I can make some really grandiose plans that I know you'll hate."
My lips closed around his fingers, taking the brownie. "Okay, fine." I said around the chocolate in my mouth. After swallowing I took a drink of coffee and gave in. "No gifts, please and… I guess we can go to dinner. I don't care where as long as it is not some ridiculous hundred dollar a plate restaurant. I don't want flowers because they will just die, but I am not opposed to chocolate unless you're worried that my ass will get too big… and even then… I am still not opposed to it."
"Guess it's a good thing that I'm not an ass man then, huh?"
I laughed and took another piece of the brownie from him. "And what kind of man are you?"
"I'm a whatever-you'll-let-me -fondle man." He leaned forward and gave me another kiss. "Do you have anyone in here studying?"
I shook my head and ran my fingertip across his bottom lip. "Would you like to break even more rules and come behind the 'employee only' counter and make out with the night manager, that just so happens to be your girlfriend and will let you fondle anything you want?"
Edward nodded and as he walked around the counter, I was immensely grateful that the University of Washington had been too cheap to install security cameras at the front entrance, leaving us free to break the rules without the risk of being caught.
I woke up on Valentines Day to find a cookie bouquet sitting outside our dorm room. All of the cookies were in the shapes of tulips and daises with a card simply said, these won't die and I don't care if they make your ass big. Happy Valentines Day. I unwrapped one of them and ate it for breakfast, smiling while I got ready.
Although Edward and I didn't have any classes together this semester, we did have classes in the same buildings at the same times, which meant that we could walk together. Normally, I would leave my English composition class to find him waiting with coffee for both of us; today he was holding a handful of chocolate kisses. After my calculus class, he had one of my favorite brownies. And even after my ethics class, Edward stood there holding hot chocolate and a muffin.
By the time I went back to my room to get ready for our dinner date, I wasn't really sure that I would be able to eat anything. He had given me so many treats throughout the day that I felt completely full.
The plan was for me to stay the night at Edward's apartment, not necessarily for sex, just to be able to spend the whole night together. But the ever optimistic-about-Bella-loosing-her-V-card, Alice Brandon, slipped the pale pink and black bag that contained my purchase from the lingerie store into my overnight bag. She wished me luck, and told me to wear my hair down, before stealing one of my tulip cookies. I watched her walk out of our room in the tightest jeans known to man kind and shook my head.
When I'd told Edward that dinner was really the only thing that I'd wanted to do for Valentines Day, I had figured he would take me to some ridiculously expensive restaurant, even though I had asked him not to. So when he ended up just taking me back to his apartment, I was pleasantly surprised. That surprise morphed into laughter a few seconds after walking through his front door. The whole place reeked of smoke.
"Did you cook something?" I asked.
Edward sat my bag on the floor and then helped me take my coat off. "I tried to cook and it didn't work. So, I settled for pizza and providing you with chocolate all day in a desperate hope that you wouldn't be hungry tonight."
I turned around to face him and wrapped my arms around his neck. "You want to know something?"
He nodded and leaned down to kiss me.
"Pizza sounds delicious."
Edward smiled against my lips. "Good."
With paper plates and greasy pizza, the two of us sat on the floor in his living room and had a very romantic, unromantic, dinner. There were no flowers or violins playing in the background, but Edward kept smiling and laughing while he explained exactly how he had messed up the meal he had been trying to make.
"So I had it all planned out," he sighed. "I was going to let it cook last night and then just reheat it in the oven tonight while I went to go pick you up. But then I accidently fell asleep and the next thing I know, the smoke alarm is going off and the whole thing looks like a piece of charcoal. I don't think I'll ever get rid of the smell."
I laughed and patted his leg. "It's the thought that counts."
Edward smiled and stole a piece of pepperoni off of my plate. "I got up early this morning and made sure that I had enough snacks to give you throughout the day, just in case."
I pushed my plate aside and carefully moved to sit on his lap before kissing him. "You're a very attentive boyfriend, Edward."
His arms wrapped around my waist and he nodded. "I deserve an award, I think."
"Oh yeah?" Pressing my chest against his, I ran my fingers through the back of his hair and smiled. "And what kind of award would you like?"
He lay back against the floor, keeping me on top of him. "This is pretty good… just… might want to remove a few things and…yup, just like that."
I'd sat up and pulled my sweater over my head, trying to ignore the same nervousness that always seemed to fill my stomach and chest when Edward and I were like this, and be the type of girlfriend that was actually comfortable being topless in front of her boyfriend.
Like every other time, Edward would cautiously take control and the two of us would push what little boundaries we did have. My mind became so clouded with lust and want that I didn't even think about stopping when Edward pulled my jeans off of my legs and laid me back against the carpeted floor. When my bra mysteriously ended up being thrown onto the couch, all I knew was that the feeling of Edward's bare chest pressed against mine, and his lips kissing the side of my neck was not something I wanted to end. Ever.
"Bella," Edward groaned while his hips pushed against mine. "We've…"
I shook my head and tightened my legs around him. "Don't. Just…" My fingers clawed at his shoulders. "Please don't stop, Edward."
He didn't need any persuasion to do what I asked. The two of us writhed around on the floor with the only barrier between us being his jeans and my underwear; they hardly left anything to the imagination, but still, I wanted more.
The feeling of Edward's body pressed up against mine was better than anything I'd ever felt in my entire life, but even with all of the rubbing and touching, it still left a hollow aching in the pit of my stomach. It would always creep up just as I was starting to really enjoy what we were doing and then subside once I'd come down off of the high that Edward always brought me to. But the more we did this, the more we experimented, the more I wanted the damn hollow feeling to go away.
Edward's hand curled around my hip and then my thigh, moving my leg higher up on his and opening them wider. His lips pulled at my earlobe while he rolled his hips against mine and then… I just lost it.
"Jesus Christ!" I yelled loudly.
Edward sat up, looking like a shirtless, lust-induced hallucination with jeans that barely covered his hips and hair that was practically standing on end. "What?" He asked breathlessly. "Are you okay?"
I covered my face with my hands and shook my head. "I can't…"
"Bella, we don't have to keep going… I thought-"
"No." I sat up, pushing Edward onto his knees. "I want to. I really want… more. I can't keep telling myself that this is enough for us because it obviously isn't."
"I'm not pushing you… am I? Because I don't want to do this if-"
"Edward, listen to me." I grabbed his face and made him look at me. "I want to have sex with you. Tonight. Right now."
He smiled, slowly at first and then it got bigger. "You're sure?"
I nodded my head. "I love you."
"I love you, too. And you know what?"
Edward quickly stood up and pulled me with him. "We aren't having sex on the floor."
It took a lot of will on my part to pull away from Edward's lips and hands, once he'd led me into his bedroom. But I wanted this to be special and perfect, which it would be, but the lingerie in my bag would make it even more so.
So I left Edward sitting on his bed, in nothing but his boxers, and excused myself to his bathroom. After brushing my teeth and applying a light layer of lip gloss, I dug the shopping bag out and tossed the tissue paper onto the counter. With giddy excitement I pulled the lingerie out of the bag, only to drop it once I realized what it was.
"Are you kidding me?" I loudly asked myself. Sitting in the crumpled black tissue paper was the skimpiest lingerie that I'd ever seen that was the exact set that Alice had purchased for herself. "She got the bags mixed up!"
Edward knocked on the door and then slowly opened it. "What?"
I motioned down to the satin and lace on the counter. "Alice got the bags mixed up which means she's got my very sexy, yet sensible, black lace lingerie while I ended up with this!"
He looked at the counter and then back at me. "You got lingerie?"
I shrugged and threw Alice's yellow monstrosity back into the bag. "I was trying to be sexy and… even though I wasn't planning on having sex with you tonight I just… I wanted it to be special and perfect…"
I wiped the tears off of my cheeks and then got annoyed with myself. Why was I crying? I mean sure, it sucked that the bags had been mixed up, but was it really worth me standing in Edward's bathroom crying about it?
"Bella," he wrapped an arm around my shoulder and tucked me against his chest. "Let's just go to bed."
"What?" I asked him. "Edward, no I-"
His lips pressed against my ear as he whispered, "I will make love to you, Bella, just not tonight. Not when you're upset like this."
"But, I'm fine… really." I didn't know if I was trying to convince him or myself.
He smiled and kissed my ear, then my cheek, and seemed to know the answer for both of us. "You and I are too original to be so cliché that we have sex for the first time on Valentines Day. So tomorrow night, you get your sexy, yet sensible, black lingerie and I'll come pick you up for dinner."
"Yeah?" I quietly asked him.
Edward leaned down and placed a small kiss on my lips. "Don't pack anything but the sexy, sensible black lace."
AN: I am not even going to try and make up an excuse for the lack of updates for this story. Just know that I had some serious blocks and hopefully they will be over. Happy New Year!