Twilight Fan fiction.

Leah X Jacob

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Excerpt from New Perspective after Watersmeet256, Kei Kat Jones and Turtlemoose19 told me that it was a good idea to write the one shot. So… Here goes! :D

Losing it

After an hour and thirty three minutes of just sitting there, Jacob Black lost it.

"Why are there no goddamn cars coming here to get washed? It has been two flipping days. If there isn't a car parked in this driveway in fifteen minutes, I swear I'm going to kick some-"

Quil sighed sympathetically, guzzling the rest of his Red Bull as he checked his watch impatiently. He had a play date with Claire at five; and he couldn't be late. Claire would be really disappointed to miss the SpongeBob Square pants theme song.

"Seriously," Jared agreed, phone in hand as he texted with the concentration of an Olympic candidate, "It's not fair. It's like, Sam's idea. And guess what? He's going to the gynecologist with Emily while we slave about in the garage waiting for cars."

Jacob gave himself a minute to curse all imprints and the notion of imprinting (Quil had his play date. Jared was speed texting Kim. Paul was probably making out with Rachel in his room next door.) before he proceeded to whack Embry on his head.

"Will you stop hiding your secret stash of Playboy's in my garage? It's like you're hiding porn under my jackhammers."

"Whatever." Embry mumbled as he devoured the latest issue of Playboy with the intense concentration, his fingers swooping in to steal the last Twizzler from the crumpled bag.

"You know, all you guys need to do is take off your shirts and all the soccer moms will be bringing the cars around as they mentally rape you guys with your minds." The sarcasm was evident in her tone, and Jacob closed his eyes to resist the urge to strangle her.

For one thing, Leah was currently perched on the Rabbit, sun tanning as she flipped through magazines like Rolling Stone and Us weekly. For the second thing, she was wearing what the pack had dubbed the 'man-eater' outfit. Basically, Jacob called it a scrap of fabric known to man as the bikini. The third thing was, she was eating all his cereal. Did she not know that fruit loops were his thing?

"It's like, a marketing gimmick." Leah pointed out, her tone now amused. "Get your car washed by amateurs, but don't worry, you get to mentally undress them in your mind. Oh wait- Why don't they just take off their shirts for you?" She continued, her tone now inching towards playfulness.

"Actually," Seth proceeded thoughtfully, "That might work." Jacob stared him in disbelief. Had the world ended way before 2012?

"I mean, it's not like I'm bragging or anything… But ever since the werewolf hormones kicked in, we've all, like, become really buff and everything… And, well, you know, soccer moms are like 40 year old perverts in a wig, so…" He hesitated. "It might work."

"Huh." Jared said thoughtfully as he stuffed his phone into the back pocket of his jeans. "So, what the hell are we waiting for?" Quil spoke out as he pulled his shirt over his head, revealing a stretch of tight, taunt muscles.

Sighing, Jacob pulled off his frayed black shirt. "Let's get started."

Two hours and sixteen minutes later, Jacob Black lost it. Again.

"Leah, if you don't put on something that is not two scraps of fabric joined together, I swear I'm going to-"

"What?" Leah hinted innocently as she pulled up her bikini bottom that was slung low against her hips. Jacob Black had the intention of knocking some sense into her thick skulled head. Did she not see those guys leering at her butt from that stupid, banged up convertible?

"Listen," Jacob proceeded abruptly, shoving her towards three giggling teenage girls in a red Prius. "You wash the rich, the bratty and the mentally insane's car. I'll wash the hormones-ridden fleabags convertible."

"Why?" She asked, raising her eyebrow as she fished her sponge from the bucket. (He really tried not to stare at her butt when she did that. That would make him a hypocrite.)

"Because," Jacob growled, his patience wearing thin, "They're perverts. Mentally sick douche bags that only think about getting into your pants."

Leah raised her eyebrows higher. "So you're saying I look like a whore?" Her tone hardened, and Jacob resisted the urge to bang his head against the bucket and scream bloody blue murder. Was it so difficult to say the right things to girls?

"No, I just-"

"Implied it." Leah cut in abruptly as she strode off to scrub the convertible amidst wolf-whistles and bad pick-up lines.

Jacob Black watched her walk away, cursing girls and their crazy, whacked up minds. Watching as the douche bags flirt shamelessly with Leah, he had the sudden urge to go right up to them and shove his soapy sponge up their mouths.


A high pitched squeal signified Kim's arrival. The soccer mom's and the teenage girls whirled around, ready to take out the enemy with cold-hearted assassination.

"Hey baby." Jared said as he scooped her up in his broad arms for a kiss. The crowd turned their eyes away from them; the girls fully understanding that Jared was taken and unavailable, focused their attention on Embry as they twirled the hair and giggled in optimum frequency.

Jacob focused his glare on the convertible. Leah was leaning over to talk to the driver at the passenger seat, who was currently eyeing her cleavage. He clenched his fists and tried to convince himself that a black eye wouldn't raise four hundred dollars to buy the budget plane tickets to Japan.

Each one of them having paid five hundred dollars each from their summer jobs and college funds, most of them had been psyched to go for a bonding trip. The four hundred dollars would just seal the deal, and Jacob knew that blowing it was not an option.

Focusing on fielding weird questions from the teenagers (Where do you stay? Where do you work? What do you think of a long distance relationship? It was driving him crazy.) He kept a close eye on Leah, praying that the convertible would just drive away and be replaced by graying people in a Ford.

The guy slid out of his seat and put his arm on the small of her back, his hand inching towards her butt. After two minutes of this, Jacob Black lost it. For the third time.

"Hey baby." He said impatiently as he yanked her from the douche bag's greasy grip, pressing her against his chest in a protective embrace. If the douche bag touched her one more time-

Shooting him his most dangerous look, Jacob led her away to his garage, his arm now draped over her bare shoulder casually.

Upon reaching the garage, Leah yanked herself away from him, her hands flying to her hips as she raised her eyebrows quizzically. "Baby?" She pointed out accusingly.

"Hey, don't get the wrong idea. I was just protecting you from those douche bags."

"I don't need protection." She said huffily as she folded her arms defensively.

He raised his eyebrows, watching as she fiddled with the strap of her bikini top. "Here." Throwing her the frayed black shirt, he went back to work.

Somewhere in the darkness, he heard a faint "thanks" echo around the garage.

He was pleased to report that at the end of the day, they had collected five hundred dollars.

He was even more pleased to report that she wore his shirt back home that day.