Said you took a big trip
They said you moved away
Happened oh, so quietly
5 years. 5 (empty) years since the silence of space had taken it away... Wionna was leaving again.
But this time he'd seen what it was meant to be like. What they were meant to be like... what he was meant to be like. He'd seen the families with bright eyed mothers (who smiled that real smile), with big brothers who'd jump and scream with laughter as they chased round the green green grasses of the park. And fathers, who'd play like children swinging little ones in their arms cradling them from the world just to see joy across their features. Mothers looking sweet smiled on at the simple scene of love played out in front for all to see and Jimmy did see.
He always sees, but he doesn't understand, people keep saying he's too young for that (no matter how smart they say he is). His Daddy dies in space and that sweet smiling mother, he's got the pictures kept safe and hidden, dies too. But not those pictures. They're just a sparkling memory he doesn't have, that isn't his, that memory belongs to Sam, to Daddy (he always made Mummy smile like that Sammy says), to the blackness of space 'cause he's not allowed it; but it's still there, in those pictures.
But why? Why can't he have those loving smiles and that perfect family? He doesn't know but he tries to understand, always tries his hardest to make mummy smile. If space took those sweet smiles away then maybe there's the answer. In space. So he searches for stars. Lays outside and looks to the moonlit sky, starlight shimmering down over him drowning his small body in their light. But those answers don't come. So when Wionna has that look that says she's leaving again (he knows that look) he searches for every picture he can find. Of bright stars (black ones too), of moons and planets and the constellations Sammy taught him and he stuck them all into one across the wall until it was covered, there were pictures of his mummy and daddy 'cause they too belonged to the stars (not to Jimmy). Then he sat. Cross legged, picture in hand of Sam, his mummy and his daddy smiling and happy (like the family at the park), looking tiny as the wall towered over him. He sat watching the stars sprawled across the wall searching for the answer.
And when Wionna walks in and sees her son she cries, a grief stricken sob at the sight of George's boy (not hers... always his). Avoiding her eyes from the questioning blue of her son's (of George's) gaze, she all but screams why? Why you done this Jimmy? What's wrong with you? Tearing photos and stars from the wall. He doesn't answer because now he realized his mistake. He knows why he can't get that sweet smiling Wionna back. Because he'd miscalculated (he always was too smart), it isn't the universe that's wrong, or the stars and planets, it's not his brother or dad or space that has taken those smiles away. It was him... Jim. They'd gone because of him (they always say he looks too much like his dad). So he ducks his head trying to hide his guilt and tears, before looking up to his mum who met him with her own tearful gaze and he finally answers, "Why?" in return. What is it that is wrong with him, why does he make her cry with such mournful tears? He doesn't say the latter but Wionna seems to get it anyway.
"Because you've got stars in your eyes, Jim (Jim it is), just like your Daddy," (And they always did say you look too much like your Daddy).
With that Wionna turned and walked away (always away) backto somewhere, someone, out in space that wasn't Jimmy. Because Jimmy, even if he didn't understand, he was the reason for this broken mother (with no more sweet loving smiles). So he sat alone (always alone) whispering unheard desperate sorrys into the remains of his creation that spread around him (torn down) clutching onto the picture in hand protecting it from the harsh coldness of the room that had spread since his mothers exit hopping to keep it safe, because he thinks this is the closest he'll get to family and after all he can play pretend.
Shoulda took a picture
Something I could keep
We could do all the good things
We could do it, we could do it,
we could do it
Don't stay in a bad place
Where they don't care how you are
Shoulda took a picture