OMG fans, 200 reviews!!!!! I am buzzing !!!!! But we've reached the finishing line, and I am sooo upset :(
If there was ever a need for getting as many reviews as possible, this is the time! I've never written anything like this before and I need you to tell me where to improve for next time! (puppy dog eyes)
Chapter 22: Special
Merlin had slept for over 12 hours now. Not surprising really, bearing in mind what he's gone through in the last few days. But even though he had exhausted himself beyond reason, as Arthur looked down at the sleeping form beside him, he couldn't help but notice that Merlin looked so peaceful.
How could he have not remembered his love for him sooner? What he was feeling was so strong, it defied any other feeling he could think of. The thought being so close to losing all of that- of losing Merlin, was unthinkable. Especially since it was Arthur who nearly married Gwen! Good God, if Lancelot hadn't have turned up when he did, Arthur would have married Gwen and Merlin would have been devastated.
They had had so little time together. But as much as he wanted to wake him, he resisted the urge as he looked at his angelic face form into a smile in his sleep.
Arthur gently used his fingertips to brush a single piece of raven hair from Merlin's pale face, smiling when he watched him squirm subconsciously under his touch. They had lain in the same bed before, but this was different. Back then, Arthur viewed Merlin as his friend, and Merlin was very drunk. They had never been this close to each other either. Arthur could almost feel Merlin's breath on his own face, and after so much time apart, this closeness was intoxicating- almost necessary.
After a couple more minutes, Arthur noticed Merlin moving a little in his sleep, until his eyes flickered open slowly. They opened fully to Arthur's beaming smile and his loving gaze as the Prince leaned in to place a kiss on Merlin's nose, making him laugh.
"Welcome back sleeping beauty," said Arthur. Merlin yawned and gave him a crooked, sleepy smile.
"How long have I been asleep?" he asked.
"Long enough," Arthur told him, not being able to keep back his smile at the sight of Merlin's sleepy and distant expression. Merlin wondered whether the events of the other day had all just been a dream. After all, Arthur hadn't said anything. But then why would he be lying so close to him if it hadn't been real?
"But now that you're awake," the Prince told him "My chainmail needs cleaning."
Merlin's betrayed expression made it very hard for Arthur to keep a straight face. When Merlin slowly got up from the bed to fulfil Arthur's errand, the Prince laughed and pulled him back down to the bed.
"You really are a total fool, aren't you Merlin?" he laughed. Merlin sighed.
"The feeling's mutual sire," he muttered.
"You can call me Arthur." He smiled and brought his lips down onto Merlin's for the first time since the battle. Merlin felt his whole body become weak with the intensity of the kiss. It wasn't passionate or hard, but there was so much meaning behind it for both of them, that it caused him to moan into Arthur's mouth. He smiled into the kiss at Merlin's reaction. He knew that they didn't want to dwell on the events of yesterday, or anything that had happened before that, but Arthur felt that this had to be said. He couldn't truly be happy with Merlin until he knew that he only ever loved him.
"You know Merlin..." he told him as the kiss broke "I've never told anyone this in my life except for you... I don't know how to..." he stopped, trying to gather his thoughts.
"What is it?" asked Merlin.
"You must know Merlin... you must know... that what happened with... Vivian, or Gwen, or anyone... none of it was real." Merlin smiled and nodded.
"I know. I never doubted it for a second." Arthur exhaled at his words, as if a weight had just been lifted off him.
"I... I've never loved another," he told him. Merlin felt his eyes well up involuntarily at these simple words. He had played this moment out in his mind a thousand times, but he never expected it to become real, or ever fell so good.
"Say it again," he whispered.
"I love you," he repeated. God, it sounded so much better the second time. The way Arthur said that- with such truthfulness and sincerity, it just made Merlin's heart sore. After all he had been through in the past few weeks- waiting to be able to say that he loved Arthur. Wanting him to say it back with the same amount of emotion and passion. It all seemed worth it now, and it was as if the invisible wound that Merlin had been carrying around with him for so long was heeled in an instant with just the three magical words.
This was an even better kind of magic than he could ever dream of. The dragon was right- there truly was no greater magic on this earth than love. And Merlin knew that even if Arthur never spoke those words again- even if he never told him that he loved him ever again, these words that he had heard here would be imbedded in his memory forever, ringing in his mind like the most harmonious music ever written.
"That's quite convenient sire, seeing as I am in love with you too." This time it was Merlin who pulled Arthur down for a kiss. This one, although tender and loving, was full of passion and longing. Not just a physical longing, but a longing to never be parted or ever be alone again. They were both breathless when they broke apart.
"Arthur?" asked Merlin, his voice barely a whisper.
"Yes?" he said, stroking the boy's black hair.
"I want to ask you for something." He had never been this forward with anyone before. But there was something inside him in this instance, almost instinct, that was telling him what to say and do.
"What do you want?" Arthur asked him. Merlin took a deep breath as he said,
"I want you." Arthur laughed and ruffled Merlin's hair.
"You already have me, you prize idiot!"
"No... I want you," Merlin repeated, trying his best to emphasize his point. It was clear that he had, because Arthur's expression changed. It changed to something that Merlin had never seen in him before. It was love, but that wasn't all that was in his eyes right now. His eyes were clouded with lust, but such devotion and adoration, that it scared Merlin a little, and he wondered if he was ready for Arthur.
But all his doubts were washed away like a wave as soon as Arthur cupped his face and stroked his cheek lovingly. Merlin's soft lips were soon covered by Arthur's again, which finally allowed a single tear to fall from Merlin's eyes. This did not go unnoticed by Arthur and he broke the kiss and looked at Merlin with concern.
"What is it?" he asked "Did I do something to upset you?" Merlin couldn't help but laugh at his misconception.
"On the contrary, I've never felt so happy; I don't know what to do with myself." Arthur sighed.
"Well that's a relief!" He attempted to kiss Merlin again, but his lips were stopped by Merlin's hand.
"I... I don't know what I'm doing," he told him in a quiet, scared voice. The Prince stroked his cheek again.
"That doesn't matter," he told him soothingly.
"But I won't know who to..."
"Shh. You won't have to Merlin. You let me worry about that, ok? I don't want you to think or worry. Just feel Merlin. Lay back and feel. Can you do that for me?" Merlin looked so confused.
"You mean... but you're the Prince..."
"And I love you, and I want to focus on you Merlin. I want to worship you." Merlin looked up at his Prince in amazement, so unbelievably touched by his concern.
"I... I'm a little scared," he admitted.
"It's ok to be scared Merlin," Arthur told him "But you've just got to trust me. Your first time is bound to be a little scary and frightening, but I promise I'll look after you."
"What? How... what... how did you know...?" Arthur chuckled knowingly.
"Don't you know what they say about those who can come up close to a unicorn, Merlin?" He didn't answer. "Obviously not," said Arthur "It is said in legend that only a maid can tame or come near to a unicorn." Merlin felt his cheeks grow hot and red under Arthur's gaze.
"You know, you really are very adorable when you blush," he said "You look even more innocent than usual."
"Not helping Arthur," she laughed, feeling himself blush even more "That's the first compliment I think you've ever given me." Arthur chuckled softly. Normally he would answer to one of these remarks by telling him to shut up, but not tonight. "So, do you want to talk all night?" he asked his servant.
"Definitely not. I want you to love me," he whispered.
"I will love you Merlin. I promise I will love you with every fibre of my being." The promise in Arthur's deep voice made Merlin shiver with anticipation. He had no idea what was in store for him. It was almost like cutting off some of his senses. But he knew that Arthur would always look after him in every way. He had never felt like Arthur's equal. Never. Until tonight. He knew that tonight they would truly become equals.
Arthur ran his strong hands down Merlin's arms. Even though he was fully clothed, he could feel the shivers run through Merlin's slim body as he touched him. It was a beautiful sight to watch Merlin react this way to him.
Merlin's nerves were pouring out from him- they were in his eyes and in his every gesture. Arthur needed to find a way to make Merlin relax, or this would never work. He glanced over to the cabinet next to his bed, where he had left a bottle of saddle oil. He got up and reached for it, causing Merlin to sit up in surprise.
"What do you need saddle oil for?" he asked.
"I'm surprised you even know what this is Merlin. You normally ignore me whenever I ask you to do any chores." This made Merlin laugh sweetly. "Take off your shirt," Arthur told him. "Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you," he said, upon seeing Merlin's scared expression "This is just to help you relax." This seemed to calm him down, and he took his neck scarf off, throwing it on the floor. His shirt soon followed, exposing his luminous soft skin inch by inch. Arthur tried his best to keep his breathing regular at the sight of Merlin's bare back becoming exposed.
"Lie on your front Merlin," he finally said. Merlin did as he asked and waited silently for what Arthur was about to do. It took Arthur all of his self control not to just rip off his clothes and take Merlin there and then. He looked so tempting.
He dismissed these thoughts from his mind as he opened the saddle oil, the lid making a slight 'pop' as it came off.
Merlin felt the bed moveslightly as Arthur shifted himself so he was above his manservant, coating his whole hands with the oil. He leant down and kissed the back of Merlin's neck, making him moan in surprise. "Relax," he purred into his ear "This will help."
He poured some more oil onto his hands and dripped it slowly onto Merlin's back. He heard him sigh as the cool liquid spread itself over his smooth skin. Arthur smiled and began his work as he rubbed the oil all over Merlin's back, starting from the bottom and moving his hands further up until he reached his shoulders. He lightly squeezed Merlin's small shoulders as he spread the oil over the skin up there.
The sounds that were coming out of Merlin's mouth were simply heavenly. He smiled at the thought of the sort of sounds he would make later, if he was reacting this way to a simple massage.
Merlin let his eyes flutter closed as Arthur's hands drifted lower and lower down his back, pressing into his tired muscles and soothing any nerves that he might have had.
"Where did you learn how to do that?" he groaned.
"It may surprise you Merlin, but my skills to extend beyond the ability to dress myself."
"And there was me thinking you were a complete prat," he mumbled into the pillow. Arthur smiled at Merlin's remark. He secretly loved how he always spoke back to him. God knows he wouldn't let any other servant talk to him like that. But Merlin was so much more than a servant right now.
He pressed harder against his muscles now, making Merlin sigh. "Don't you fall asleep on me now," teased Arthur.
"Wasn't planning to," he mumbled "Kiss me." Arthur leant over Merlin's neck again and kissed the back of it tenderly. Merlin sighed "Not there," he said. Arthur smirked.
"No?" he teased "Where do you want me to kiss you Merlin?" he flipped him over so that he was now looking up at him. Arthur ran a single ringer lightly across Merlin's full lips and watched his eyes flutter shut. "Is this where you want me to kiss you Merlin?" he asked in a husky low voice.
"Yes," Merlin sighed. Arthur was barely touching him, and he could feel Merlin's heart thumping like it would jump right out of his chest. Arthur kindly responded to his silent plea and pressed his lips down onto Merlin's, his mouth much more forceful than before. He moulded his lips around Merlin's searching for an opening to his mouth. Once he found it, he pressed his tongue into the boy's eager mouth. He licked across the roof of Merlin's mouth, causing him to groan into the kiss and put his hand to the back of Arthur's neck, pushing him in deeper.
Arthur continued his sweet assault on Merlin's mouth, devouring every breath, every smell, every touch. He broke the kiss momentarily to remove his own shirt, tossing it aside onto the floor. Merlin followed the Prince's example and removed his trousers; however, his hands were shaking so much that Arthur moved them away and undid the ties himself. "Thanks," laughed Merlin.
"You're shaking like a leaf. Are you cold?"
"No- just nervous I guess," said Merlin.
"Just lie back Merlin. I promise I'll look after you." Somehow the tone in Arthur's voice acted like a drug on Merlin, and he found himself melting into the pillows behind him.
Arthur moved up the bed to make eye contact with Merlin's blue eyes. He had never taken the time to notice how beautiful his eyes were. How beautiful he was. Merlin was obviously thinking the same, because he said,
"You're beautiful Arthur."
"What?" he laughed "I can't be beautiful Merlin. I'm a man!"
"Inside," he said.
"Excuse me?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.
"Inside," Merlin repeated himself.
"Hang on a minute Merlin, we've only just..." Merlin laughed at Arthur's misinterpretation.
"I meant you're beautiful inside," he laughed. Arthur laughed with him when he realised his mistake.
"You're beautiful too you know."
"No I'm not," he said sadly, pointing to his ears "Ears," he said plainly.
"I love you ears Merlin," Arthur told him.
"Of course. Would you like me to show you?" he smirked as Merlin nodded hesitantly. Arthur kissed his way from Merlin's cheek all the way to his ear, which he began to kiss. He heard Merlin sight at this, and took is as a sign of encouragement. He began to lick up and down the side of Merlin's ear and moved across to the other one, giving it the same treatment.
After a while, Arthur moved over to Merlin's face, cupping it gently in his hands and kissing his forehead, then one of his eyelids. Merlin sighed sweetly "This can't be real," he said, making Arthur smile. He kissed the other eyelid just as softly, but tasting something wet and salty, he pulled back. Merlin was crying.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Nothing, I'm just so happy. I never thought I would have you. I always thought I would be alone."
"Shh," Arthur soothed him "You'll never be alone now Merlin. That is something I can promise you." He bent down again and kissed Merlin's nose and then each of his cheeks, his chin and finally his waiting mouth.
His kisses trailed down to his neck, where he kisses, sucked and nipped at the soft flesh there, receiving gasps and moans from Merlin. He looked down at the marks he had made and smirked. "Now you really will have a reason to wear those silly scarves Merlin," he teased. Merlin was too lost in Arthur's beautiful touches and caresses to come up with a decent comeback. Arthur could say whatever he wanted as long as he kept doing that to him.
Merlin's fingers found Arthur's golden hair, and roamed around in his as Arthur's mouth moved lower down his neck. He stopped at his Adam's apple, licking and sucking it as it moved up and down with each one of Merlin's gulps of pleasure.
He placed tender kisses along his collarbone and his pale shoulders, biting gently once in a while, and smiling when he realised that Merlin seemed to like this.
"Arthur..." he panted, his breath so irregular by now, it sounded as if he would faint. He was so close to begging, even though he didn't even know what he would be begging for. All he knew was that Arthur's gentle and sensual caresses were slowly driving him mad.
It seemed that Arthur had Merlin exactly where he wanted him, and he had no intention of stopping. He wanted Merlin to remember this for the rest of his life, not just as a physical experience, but as an emotional one. He continued his soft kisses down Merlin's silky chest and when he reached his belly button, he ever so gently flicked his tongue inside, making Merlin gasp loudly, nearly jolting upwards. Arthur smiled to himself, realising he had found one of Merlin's sensitive spots. He would have to think of a way to make that work to his advantage some other time. He continued to kiss the soft skin around Merlin's belly and bit on one of his bony hips, making him gasp. He really did like to be bitten!
Merlin felt Arthur's mouth glide lower still, and then he felt him do something which he never expected- he took him fully into his mouth, no warning, no mercy. Merlin's back spontaneously arched up off the bed as he nearly screamed. This made Arthur smile in self satisfaction as he continued his ministrations on Merlin.
"Oh... my... God!" Merlin gasped between moans. By now, he was a mere trembling, panting wreck, and completely at Arthur's mercy. His head was throwing itself around on the pillows, and his fists curled up tightly as Arthur's mouth did unimaginable things to his body. He felt Arthur place his hands firmly on his hips to keep them from jerking upwards.
"Keep still," he rebuked him, but a hint of amusement in his voice that he had this sort of effect on Merlin. The boy whimpered slightly at the loss of contact, but not for long, as Arthur's warm mouth was back on him almost immediately. He felt Arthur hum softly, the vibrations spreading all the way to his fingertips and making him moan uncontrollably. "Arthur!" he cried as his head was brought back down from the clouds violently. He was shivering fiercely at the sudden loss of contact. Arthur simply smiled lovingly at him and rubbed his hands up and down Merlin's arms, helping him to relax and his breathing to return to normal.
"Wouldn't want my Father to hear you like that, now would we?" he whispered in his ear.
"Arthur?" Merlin panted, finally able to speak again.
"Don't ever mention your Father again when we're both naked and you've just sucked me off." Arthur laughed and kissed him.
"Promise," he purred. The Prince bent over and reached for the saddle oil once more and coated his fingers with it. "I'm already relaxed," Merlin complained.
"This isn't for that, Merlin," he told him. Merlin gave him a confused look. "You didn't think that you'd be able to do this without any preparation, would you?" Arthur kissed Merlin's lips tenderly to try and distract him from the hand that was moving down between his legs and slowly stretching him. Despite his efforts, Merlin hissed and tensed up slightly.
"You've got to relax Merlin. Breathe," He reminded him. Merlin did as he said, and took a few deep breaths, before he began to feel waves of pleasure forming from Arthur's cleaver fingers.
"Mmmm..." he moaned in appreciation.
"Told you it would help," Arthur smiled as he stopped what he was doing and positioned himself above Merlin, his toned, sweaty body pressing down on Merlin.
"Merlin, this will probably hurt a little for a moment," he warned him.
"I don't care," he panted "I need you like this. It was made for you. Don't you see it was always made for you?" This was all the encouragement Arthur needed as he slowly slid inside him.
It certainly hurt a lot more than Merlin anticipated, and he had to dig his nails into Arthur's shoulders to get through it at first. He wished that he could use his magic to get through the first few minutes of pain, but he just gritted his teeth and kissed Arthur to distract himself. Arthur stayed very still, mumbling that he was sorry over and over again. Merlin ran his fingers through Arthur's hair and said,
"Just do it Arthur," he it out "It's not going to get any better if you don't move." He hesitantly did as Merlin asked, receiving a short gasp of pain.
"Keep going," he assured him. It didn't hurt as much now, and he was sure it would only get better. The next time Arthur moved, Merlin let out a loud gasp, but for very different reasons.
"Did I hurt you?" Arthur asked, his voice very concerned. Merlin shook his head and sighed.
"Go!" he moaned. Arthur looked puzzled.
"You want me to leave?" he asked, a little hurt by this. Merlin rolled his eyes.
"No! Go! Move, you prat!" he cried as Arthur laughed and began to move again. Merlin's eyed rolled to the back of his head as any ounce of pain he felt was being washed away, and soon, it was like it had never existed.
"Look at me," Arthur groaned as he kissed Merlin's forehead. He did as he asked and trembled when he was met by Arthur's lustful eyes. But the more he looked into them, the more he witnessed the love that was in them, and for a brief moment, he truly felt like they had connected. How, he didn't know, but he definitely felt something.
Merlin's breathing quickened along with Arthur's movements, and soon, he found that he couldn't keep his eyes opened any longer, and let his head fall back onto the pillows, Arthur's following with a moan.
"God, I love you," he managed to say, receiving a moan from Merlin.
"Arthur..." he sighed.
"Just feel Merlin," Arthur groaned "Remember to feel." Merlin dug his nails fiercely into the Prince's back, knowing that there would be marks there the next morning. H found that his cried were becoming increasingly louder and Arthur soon put his hand over his mouth.
"You're a bit of a loud one, aren't you?" he laughed, taking it away from Merlin's mouth. Merlin brought his mouth to Arthur's ear and whispered,
"Come for me Arthur, please. I need to feel you're really there." Arthur moaned loudly at Merlin's words and soon found his release with Merlin's name on his lips. Merlin soon followed, grinding his nails down Arthur's back and panting as he came down from heaven.
Merlin curled up with Arthur, holding the hand that was wrapped tightly around his body. After what had just happened, he couldn't believe that he had ever been so worried about confessing his love for Arthur. How could something as beautiful as what had just happened have any strings attached?
He felt his eyes begin to close as his exhaustion took over his body. "Thank you," he managed to say in his tired state.
"For what?" Arthur asked in a quiet voice.
"For making me feel special." Arthur smiled and kissed Merlin's hair. Didn't he have any idea how special he was?
"You are special Merlin," he whispered. Merlin smiled as he felt Arthur's warm breath on the back of his neck "You are my life now. And I promise it will be like this always." Merlin smiled and snuggled deeper into his pillow.
"I love you," he mumbled, before falling into a deep sleep.
I suppose that was kinda M rated right? If I got it wrong, please say. I couldn't make it too smutty, as a couple of my friends will be reading this story, and I have to be able to look them in the eye tomorrow lol!
QUICK NOTE: I've had a couple of people ask me whether Arthur remembered or knows about Merlin's magic... and of course I'll never tell (evil grin). I think the answer should be something that you guys come up with on your own. I'll just keep you guessing till the sequel, as I needed some loose ends that I could tie up in the next story. Sorry for the annoyance lol!
Ok, so here comes my big acceptance speech (sorry)
Firstly, thank you a million to all those who bothered to read my story and even more to those who reviewed even one chapter. You have no idea how gratifying and touching it is for a first time author to receiveso much positive feedback, especially since I love what I do so much, and am so happy that other people love it just as much as me. I have had so much fun in the past two months writing this story, and you guys just made it even better, so thanks.
I'd like to thank a few individuals who helped and motivated me throughout this story:
1) FranklyMyDear11, who has reviewed every one of my chapters and is one of my best friends- you're the best!
2) My best friend Ashley, who had to put up with me for two months of talking about this story and how many reviews I was getting
3) All those who have consitantly reviewed my work and motivated me throughout, namely, LadyFromPoland (jestes super!) FireChildSlytherin5, betrayedsunshine, Catindahat Kittendragon, goodythreeshoes, Weihna and Merthurtillidie. You have all been, along with anyone I missed out, my rock for the past two months!
The poled for the sequel are unanemous, and it will be called "May I Love You". I have started a rough plan, but I need to take a short break to really thoroughly plan this story, as now I haveto live up to the success of "Love's First Kiss"
So I guess all that's left for me to say is..... stay tuned Merlin fans!!!!!!!!