Moments

Sometimes at night, she slips her hand beneath his shirt and lets her fingers trace over the scar. It hasn't escaped her attention that he hasn't slept shirtless since he was stabbed--at least not on the nights they spend together. Once she caught him staring at his scar in the bathroom mirror; when he saw her reflection he grabbed his dress shirt and started talking about one of his cases. He didn't come over after work that night.

She can still picture him in that hospital bed, on a ventilator, doctors and nurses swirling around him trying to restart his heart. He knows his heart stopped once, but he has no idea just how much it scared everyone, and she hopes he never does. Even now, she doesn't have to be asleep to relive it, and she's often scared by the intense emotion she still feels about it.

As she runs her fingertips over his scar, which is long and feels like a ridge over his skin, he stirs slightly as always, but doesn't wake up. Robin's glad for it--she doesn't know how he'd react, and she needs these moments alone with his mortality.

Don's job has always been dangerous, a fact not just difficult but impossible to ignore, and he's been injured before. He's a good agent, has a competent team backing him up, and before the stabbing, that was enough to quench her fear. Those things are still true, but this wound put him near death, reminding everyone that no matter how good you are, there is always someone out there who can beat you in the right circumstances. Robin isn't so sure that was the lesson Don came away from this with.

Now she's more afraid of tomorrow, of the things that could happen, than she used to be. She's never been good at being intimately close with another person--it was the reason they broke up a few years back. The intensity had scared her before, and although it scares her now, something else scares her more. She's been to the brink, spent hours wondering if Don would live to the end of the day. She knows exactly how much she loves him and has a pretty good idea of what it would do to her to lose him, and so despite her fears, she can't walk away this time.

Sleepiness sets in after awhile, but before she gives in she pulls her hand back and gently smooths the fabric of his shirt over. Gazing up to his face, she lifts herself up enough to plant a small kiss on his lips and then snuggles into his side, and it is here that she feels most ready to face whatever tomorrow may bring.

End