Description: Aubrey's checklist for Hueco Mundo can be summed up as such: Turn the whole place upside-down, and do it behind the scenes of the original manga. If you thought she was a whack-job in "Gorgons," you ain't seen nothin' yet! Pairings included.

I know that I should still be working on Gorgons, but I work best by going between stories. Don't worry; I'll work on both, I promise! And besides, this'll be fun; I like writing randomness!

Chapter 1, "Not Gonna Get Us"

Lunch time, and Ichigo was revved to go to Hueco Mundo. Unfortunately, that would take awhile. How long? Not sure for the sake of my plot hole. Ichigo's Deputy Pass went off.

"Back in a minute—" And it fell silent.

"Another false alarm?" Renji cocked an eyebrow.

"Yeah." The pass went off, and the Hollow was about ten feet off! "What the-?!" It disintegrated. "WHAT?!"

"Wh-what the—?" Renji reached for the Gikongan. Nothing reacted. "What's going on?!" Nobody seemed to know. A ways away, undetectable to sensors or pesquisa, sat the culprit in a tree. The brunette watched them with a half-smile, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose and stroking the tiny Oriental dragon on her shoulder.

How much more attention must I draw to myself? Aubrey wondered. She knew that the target, unlike the rag-tag by comparison group before her, was watching her. If Aizen cared that Aubrey was forcing Hollows to revert to normal Konpaku and pass on. Which he should, if she wanted to be let in. Aubrey pondered aloud, "Which side should I join?"

"Well, you want to be in Hueco Mundo." The dragon, Casclu, shot her a look.

"True. That looks like it'd be more fun."

"So why bother pondering?"

"Because I can. And you know we're gonna reak havoc tonight, right?"

"So much fun."

That night, a nondescript human base wobbled and toppled over, Teen Titans style.

"Yee-haw!" Aubrey watched the figures run away into the woods. "That was fun."

"Agreed." Both kept on talking, knowing full well that they were being watched.

"So how was she?" Aizen was perched on his throne, looking down at his most favored Arrancar.

"Strong," Ulquiora replied. "With useful abilities and an inclination to our side."

"So she's strong," Yammy protested. "Are we really gonna take another human girl?!"

"I would not mind having her on our side, before she finds other loyalties. And since she has expressed interest…"

That night, in a 16-year old girl's recently moved-into room, a portal from Hueco Mundo appeared. Three figures stepped through, causing their target to stir.

Aubrey, who had been asleep, sat up. Wearing a sports bra. "What the hell're you doing in my room? It's 3 am!" And she was wearing a black sports bra. And brought her arms to cover this, while glaring.

"Huh?" Yammy scratched his head.

"…" Ulquiora was perfectly calm, as if he failed to see the problem.

"Urk!" Gin was the only one to quickly turn around. Aizen sent him?

Grr… Aubrey ducked under the covers, quickly weaving fabric from her aura.

"Aizen-sa—" Ulquiora began.

"You have no tact, do you?" Aubrey pulled off the covers to reveal a pale blue, kimono-ish top. And was already wearing sweatpants, demonstrated as she stood. A silver tabby glared at all three through lapis eyes like her owner's. "Aiya… now, what do you think you're doing in my room?" She received an explanation and invitation. "Huh. Sure. Why not?" She, a human, had just agreed to join Aizen's ranks. "If I can have a day to get my affairs in order."

The next day was fun. Aubrey was explaining to a teenager with windswept black hair. Who looked less than thrilled.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!" Jake exclaimed. "You said 'yes'?!"

Aubrey shrugged. "Sure. Don't worry, I'll be fine. I know what I'm doing."

"But-but-but…" Jake compressed an argument. "I don't think the rest of the world'll be fine if you go evil on us now…"

"Too late. I agreed. Pity the enemy."

"You're sure."

"I'm sure."

Orihime was staring across the table to the other couch. The new one put in that morning(?) by two of Ulquiora's helper people. She hadn't dared to ask, but apparently Ulquiora had seen the question in her eyes anyway. She was going to have a roommate. She still hadn't dared to ask. Images of possible roomies flooded her mind, from Terminators to My Little Ponies to Ulquiorra himself... Now, her thoughts were interrupted by the opening of her door. Ulquiora and a brunette with glasses about her own age…

"You two will be sharing a room."

Aubrey nodded, arms crossed. Orihime nodded, eyes averted. Ulquiora left.


Aubrey plopped down on the far couch, sighing then smiling. "Ai-ya, these clothes are too much. Aizen has no idea of how women like to dress. All white, I ask you?" Aubrey noticed Orihime's stares. "Oh, sorry. I'm Aubrey. You are?"

"Umm… Inoue Orihime…" Orihime was surprised by Aubrey's sudden friendliness. That was pretty rare around here. "Uhh, so I guess we're roommates…"

"Yeah. I guess they figured that they'd put the two humans in a room together."

"Human? You're a human?"

"Yeah, I heard that you are, too. So what're you in for? Healing or something?"

"Yeah." Orihime pointed to her hairpins. "These are the phys… mani… umm, what was it?"

"Physical manifestation?"

"Yeah! I can never remember that kind of thing…"

"Ouch. I kinda have to. I'm a witch.

"Huh?! Does that mean you have a cauldron and a broomstick and a little black cat and—"

"Heh… no, no, and no… but I do know a dragon.

"A dragon?! No way!"

"Her name is Casclu." A black, narrow crocodilian head popped out from behind Aubrey's left shoulder.

"WOW!!! You're a dragon?!" Casclu pulled herself fully up. She looked like a sort of miniature Oriental dragon with black and blue counter shading, blue in the wings' insides and on the claws. "That's incredible! You're so cuuute!"

Casclu shrugged. "This is nothing. I can't take my adult form in here, lest I blow off the roof."

"Really? Wow, you're really cool!" Orihime was petting Casclu on the head. "You purr?"

"Yep. Water dragons tend to be shape-shifters. Other than dragon, my forms…" Casclu faded into full black, taking the form of a silver tabby. "are all feline."

"Aww!" Orihime cooed over Casclu, who apparently had pride.

"How long have you been here, anyway? (The windows are even barred…)"

"I don't know. It's always night, and I spend all my time in here…"

"Oh. That stinks. Can't you go anywhere..?" Aubrey suddenly turned serious. "Or did you not want to come here?"


"They forced you to come here, didn't they?"

"Uh… umm… did they force you?"

"No, I came here on my own." Aubrey felt slightly uncomfortable under the redhead's stare. "But if it's any consolation, your friends want to save you."

"T-they do?" She'd come here to protect them…

"Yeah, especially this spikey-haired redhead with this really scary glare and absolutely no patience whatsoever..."


"Apparently. I never actually spoke to him."

"But then how..?"

"I was in the neighborhood, and the guy has a voice that could raise the dead."

Orihime took a second to piece together the irony of that last bit...

"So what do you do for fun around here?"

"I...uhm... I count the ceiling tiles!"


"One has a speck of dust on it that looks like a kumquat!"

"...Okay, I have an idea."

When first he'd opened the door, some ridiculous music had nearly blown him back. Ulquiorra forced himself to walk in, finding a ridiculous mixture of lights and two empty couches. He then froze, finally spotting the two, face dropping further into an expression very much resembling What the fuck?!

"We're doing fine," Aubrey called down as if she was still sitting on the couch instead of sideways, wearing rollerblades, and skating around a track that wound over all four walls. Sideways. Orihime looked somewhat more scared, but her attention kept being diverted by a need to keep from tripping over her own feet. They were both looking down from about fifteen feet up. Sideways.

"... This is your definition of 'fine'?" Ulquiorra was acting even calmer than usual. Aubrey knew what that meant.

"I see no bruises, blood, or banana peels."


"We're fine. Just having a little fun, since Ri-chan can't leave the room."

"You two are surprisingly chummy."

"We're the only two humans in the whole place, and even if not that, there's always female solidarity."

"I see. Aizen-sama wanted to see you."

"Understood." Aubrey dropped to the floor with a whisper, skates vanishing over her regular boots. "See you later, Ri-chan."

"Both of you."

Aubrey turned TATU off and helped Orihime down.

"And how are you enjoying Hueco Mundo?"

"Quite well, sir."

Aizen nodded, unperturbed by the Western title. Perhaps he would be if he knew that Aubrey only used it with those she only pretended to concede higher rank to. "I'm glad. Ulquiorra has told me that you're making yourself at home."

"Yes, sir. It wasn't much of a challenge, really."

"I'm glad. Now, I would like to show you both something."

Aubrey could guess.

"This is my Zanpakuto, Kyoka Suigetsu."

Orihime looked at Aubrey with wonder once the door closed. No wonder Aizen had called in Aubrey-chan, but now she realized just how foolish he had been. To foil that blade, without Aizen even realizing..! "Aubrey-chan..."


"Why are you here?"

Aubrey knew that Aizen's surveilance was still intact, so she gave an answer without lying. "To strew chaos in my wake."

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