Disclaimer: I do not own FMA. Or Monty Python. The following drabble came about because I watched Conqueror of Shamballa and thought the uranium bomb at the beginning had a striking resemblance to the holy hand grenade.

And it came to pass that in their quest, Roy Mustang and his brave knights came to the bridge of death and were approached by the man from scene twenty-four!

"If you wish to cross the bridge of death, you must answer me these questions three!"

"Alright. Go ahead."

"WHAT. . . is your name?"

"It is Roy Mustang, Flame Colonel of the Amestrians!"

"WHAT. . . is your quest?"

"I seek to become Fuhrer of Amestris!"

"WHAT. . . is the air speed velocity of a laden swallow?"

". . . Bugger off before I roast you alive."

*sniff* "Well there's no need to be like that, a man's gotta do 'is job you know. A good job's hard to come by in a recession. I'm gonna report you to the union, I am!"

"Bloody peasant!" *SNAP*

Should I continue?