Merbguard on Duty

Hi, everyone. This is BlueTiger321 with my first fan fiction. For those of you who are unsure, this is a parody of a Spongebob Squarepants episode involving various characters from animated shows and video games. I've had the idea with me for a little while now and have now decided to actually write it down for all of you to enjoy. First, Spongebob Squarepants belongs to Nickelodeon Studios and all characters used in this fan fiction are property of their respectful owners. I should also warn you that there will be some OOC involved, but it's just to keep up with the story. So just relax and prepare to bust a gut laughing.

In the world of cartoons, everyone was hanging out at the famous Toon Lagoon to enjoy a day of relaxation by the beach. The narrator begins to say, "Ah, Toon Lagoon, where the sun is so hot and the sunbathers are oh, so cool."

On the beach, two friends were lying on their beach blankets. One was a green-skinned, amphibian-like humanoid called a Merb named Stork and the other was a yellow-skinned, rhinoceros humanoid called a Wallop named Junko. Both of them were dressed in white flower-printed bathing suits. Stork's was coloured light brown while Junko's was coloured green. Stork also wore sunglasses in front of his eyes.

"Ah," said Stork. "Isn't it such a beautiful day here on the beach, Junko?"

"You said it, Stork," said Junko.

(A/N: I know that Finn and Junko are closer as friends, but I felt that Stork was more suited for the role in this story.)

"Can you believe that sun?" said Stork.

Junko's eyes looked like fried eggs as he said, "I could look into it all day."

Stork sat up and took off his sunglasses as he looked at Junko and said, "Uh Junko..."

Junko also sat up and then took a sip from a soda. At that moment, his eyes then went back to normal. "What is it?" he asked.

"Uh, nothing," replied Stork.

"Say," said Junko, "how's your tan coming?"

"I don't know," said Stork. "Let me check." He then looked under his bathing suit and saw that his skin was still as green as ever. "Looking good," he said. "How's yours?"

"Hang on a second," said Junko. He then looked under his bathing suit and then screamed as he saw that he was looking at his own rear. Junko then realised that he was lying on his stomach. "Oh, I could've sworn that I was lying on my back."

Both Stork and Junko then started laughing. It soon stopped as several people started running past them. The two friends got up to see what the big commotion was. The reason for everyone flocking was to see the beach's lifeguard, a fourteen-year-old, red-haired boy named Aerrow. He was dressed in a red bathing suit with white flower prints and he also had zinc oxide on his nose. All the people gathered around him watched as they saw him lift five people on a wooden stand.

Everyone who saw it cheered, "Aerrow, Aerrow!"

"Hey," said Stork, "Aerrow's the new lifeguard."

A girl named Trixie Tang walked up to Aerrow and asked him, "Mr. Lifeguard, could I feel your muscles?"

"Sure," said Aerrow as he held out his arm and flexed his muscle. As Trixie felt his arm, Aerrow said jokingly, "But don't scratch the paint."

Aerrow's friend, Finn (Storm Hawks) then walked up to Aerrow and asked him, "Hey Aerrow, how's the tubeage?"

"Gnarly, dudes!" said Aerrow.

Finn and all his other surfing buddies then jumped into the air and shouted, "All right!" They then ran off to enjoy surfing.

An old man named Abe Simpson and an old woman named Mona Simpson (The Simpsons) walked up to Aerrow. Abe said, "Lifeguard, which way to the snack bar?"

"Right over there," Aerrow said pointing the way. "But I'm afraid that you two are too old and unsightly to be on my beach so I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Abe and Mona turned around to leave. As they walked, Mona said, "He's so polite."

"Yeah," said Abe. "I wish our son could be that nice to me."

"Wow," said Stork. "Aerrow sure is great. Is it any wonder why he's so popular? Just imagine if I were a lifeguard."

Stork then imagined if he was a lifeguard. The thought in his head displayed Stork standing on a lifeguard's post while looking out at the beach. Back in the real world, the pupils of Stork's eyes were open with amazement as he said, "That would be so cool."

Junko interrupted Stork's fantasy, saying, "Why do you want to be a lifeguard? Nobody really likes those guys." As Junko was talking, people started carrying Aerrow on his back. Junko didn't notice what was going on, so he kept saying, "Being a lifeguard is so dumb. All they do is blow, blow, blow on their stupid whistles; rub, rub, rub that white stuff on their noses; and show off their gross, misshapen bodies!"

Junko then sat up, and in doing so his stomach started to bulge out from his bathing suit. A man named Renji was walking along the beach when he saw Junko's belly sticking out and said, "Dude, put that thing away. There are children on this beach."

Renji walked away, and Junko then tucked his belly back into his bathing suit. The flab from his stomach then somehow got transferred into his feet, making them expand.

"I'm going to the snack bar," Junko said, walking away angry.

Stork was now by himself. He stood up and said, "Maybe Junko's right. Who needs to be a lifeguard? I'm cool." As Stork could be seen close-up, his bathing suit was brought up too high past his waist and he was also wearing underwear underneath it. Stork also had a goofy-looking grin on his face.

"I'm every bit as cool as Aerrow," said Stork. "And if I'm not then let me be struck by..." Stork was about to finish his sentence when he heard lightning above him and decided it would be wise to re-think what he was about to say. Stork thought of an absurd outcome and then said while snapping his fingers, "...a flying ice cream truck." At that moment, a shadow grew around Stork and he could hear a jingle. Stork's eyes widened in fear and then shouted out, "And live!"

An ice cream truck with wings stopped a few inches above Stork, and then fell down completely, flattening Stork. The ice cream truck then drove away, leaving Stork face down in the sand.

Aerrow walked up to Stork. He held a megaphone in his hand and said into it, "Please do not land flying ice cream trucks on the bathers."

Stork got up, but he didn't see that ice cream was sticking on his nose. The cone fell off, giving Stork a white nose.

"Hey Stork, are you okay?" said Aerrow.

Stork turned around to face Aerrow. When Aerrow saw Stork's nose, he immediately thought it was zinc oxide.

"Hey," said Aerrow, "I didn't know that you were a lifeguard."

"Lifeguard?" Stork asked.

"Yeah," said Aerrow. "Your nose..."

Stork touched his nose and saw ice cream stick to his finger. He looked at it and said, "White stuff." He turned to Aerrow and said, "You think I'm a lifeguard?"

"Sure," said Aerrow. "There's no way anyone could hide the lifeguard look Stork, and you've got it."

Stork's pupils widened as he said, "You really think so?"

"Of course I do," replied Aerrow. "Say, we're a little short-handed around here. How would you like to work the beach?"

"I'd love it!" said Stork in a high tone.

Stork then jumped onto Aerrow, embracing him because Aerrow has given him the opportunity to be popular.

"All right!" said Aerrow. He got Stork off him and said, "But leave that on the bench, man." Aerrow then turned his back and called out, "Hey Ty Lee, come here. I want you to meet my friend, Stork."

A girl named Ty Lee then walked up next to Aerrow. When Stork saw her, he held out his hand and said, "Hi."

The only response Stork got from Ty Lee was a blast of sand to the face that she kicked at him. Stork muffled as sand was thrown into his mouth.

"Hey," Aerrow said to Ty Lee, "the guy's a lifeguard."

Upon hearing that, Ty Lee smiled and then whistled. Soon, her friends came over and gathered around Stork. They all began to lift Stork into the air.

"It worked," said Stork as he smiled.

Stork and Aerrow were then walking on the beach together, looking confident as they blew their whistles.

When they were done, they began to help the sunbathers. Aerrow went over to a girl named Piper and applied tanning lotion to her back. He gave a thumb's up to Stork as he was applying sun block on the back of an old man named Professor Farnsworth.

Aerrow was then helping a boy named Mac (Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends) in building a sandcastle. He had just made one post as Mac and his friends all cheered. Meanwhile, Stork was also building a sandcastle, but he made a whole one from only using one bucket of sand. Kids all started to play on it as Aerrow gave Stork another thumb's up.

Aerrow then began to lift weights. Because of how much Aerrow trained, he had little trouble lifting up his barbell. Stork also tried lifting weights, but he wasn't as strong as Aerrow so his barbell only had two sodas on each end. He also seemed to really be struggling to lift them up as he began to sweat and clench his teeth. But then, a man named Homer Simpson came and took away one of the sodas, which made Stork fall to the side from the counterbalance in weight.

Now Aerrow had begun to play the ukulele while Stork began to dance in a hula skirt. Everyone cheered as Stork began to play the ukulele as well and Aerrow was also dancing in a hula skirt. Stork was mostly enjoying himself over being as popular as Aerrow.

Stork was now running in excitement over what had happened in the last hour. He got to do all kinds of things that a lifeguard got to do, and he didn't want the excitement to stop.

"Whoo!" said Stork. "That was the greatest, Aerrow!"

"Yeah," Aerrow replied. "Say, how would you like to take the second shift?"

Stork got even more excited, saying, "By myself?"

"Only if you think you're ready," said Aerrow.

"I'm not just ready," said Stork. He then picked up a can of zinc oxide and stuck his nose in it. Stork's nose was now completely white, giving him the mark of a lifeguard. When he was finished, he said, "I'm ready, Freddy."

Aerrow looked at Stork oddly and said, "It's Aerrow. Well, I guess I'll just--"

Aerrow never finished his sentence when he heard someone cry, "Help!" He then looked out into the lagoon and saw that someone was about to drown.

"We've got a sinker!" shouted Aerrow. He turned to Stork and said, "Stork, let me take this. I haven't seen any action all day."

Stork was left dumbfounded at what was happening. After Aerrow jumped away from him, Stork said, "Action?"

Aerrow then ran to the lagoon as quickly as he could. When he reached the edge of the dock, he jumped into the air and dove into the lagoon. Aerrow began to swim to the person in need of help, who was a boy named Edward Elric.

"Please help! Please help!" shouted Edward as he thrashed in the water. He couldn't take anymore and soon he sank into the lagoon.

Aerrow dove after Edward, leaving everyone on the beach gasping at what would happen next. Aerrow then resurfaced while carrying Edward over his shoulder. The beachgoers all cheered at Aerrow's heroism, but Stork was still confused about the whole situation.

Soon, Aerrow brought Edward back to the beach but the poor boy wasn't breathing. Now Aerrow would have to do the only thing that calls for this emergency.

"Breathe, darn you!" shouted Aerrow.

Aerrow then began to furiously punch into Edward's stomach, hoping to save him. At last Edward's eyes opened and he spat a book out of his mouth. He then sat up and the rest of the water inside him poured out of his mouth as well.

"That's the last time I read while swimming," said Edward. He then pointed to Aerrow and said, "You saved my life!"

"Don't mention it; it's all part of the job," said Aerrow.

Aerrow walked back over to Stork and said, "You know Stork, the girls and the big chair are great, but the best part of being a lifeguard is knowing that you're the only thing standing between these people..." As Aerrow spoke, a man named Fry swallowed hot dogs in one gulp as other people cheered him on. Aerrow finished by saying, "...and a watery grave. And that's what being a lifeguard is all about. Their lives are in your hands now."

A car with many people in it was now parked next to Aerrow. He approached it and left Stork with a stunned look on his face.

"Right now, I've got to get to a tanning booth," said Aerrow as he hoped into the car with his friends. "See ya, Stork."

Stork was now left by himself. Now he realised the sole purpose of being a lifeguard, but Stork had a deep, dark secret he hoped he'd never have to reveal to anyone.

"But I..." said Stork. Suddenly, an inflatable duck began to appear out of Stork's bathing suit. It was full of air just as Stork finished saying, "...can't swim." Stork held his head and said, "If I had known that being a lifeguard meant guarding people's lives, then I would've never said yes."

Stork took off the inflatable duck and said, "Maybe nothing will go wrong. Then when Aerrow comes back, I'll just tell him I'm not interested. Besides, what's the worst that could happen?"

Stork looked out onto the lagoon and saw everyone playing in the water. The worrying part of his mind then replaced each person with a tombstone. The very thought of this made Stork shout in fear. He ran over to the lifeguard's chair with a plan ready.

"Emergency!" Stork shouted while holding a megaphone and ringing the lifeguard's bell. "Everybody out of the water! Hurry! Out of the water!"

All the beachgoers heard the bell and ran out of the water and headed for the lifeguard's chair. Stork was glad that everyone was out of the water, but now came the next part. Each person wanted to know why they had to leave the water. Stork didn't really think this through so he had to come up with an excuse.

"Um... there are sharks in the water!" said Stork.

A Sharpedo (Pokémon) with several others looked up at Stork and said, "Sharpedo!" Translated, it meant, "That's my family you're talking about."

Stork understood what the Sharpedo said, and so he came up with another excuse. "Um..." he said, "...I meant sea monsters!"

A giant shadow then loomed over Stork. He looked up and saw what looked to be a giant eel (Storm Hawks) staring right at him.

"You know," said the giant eel, "we sea monsters have made great strides in the fields of science and literature." The giant eel then left Stork insulted, but not before slapping him in the face with its tail.

Stork was out of options. The beachgoers were getting impatient, and the best he could say was, "Um... somebody went?"

All the beachgoers couldn't believe what Stork had said. They all turned to leave him and headed back to the lagoon.

"No, don't go!" cried Stork, but no one would listen to him.

Stork saw everyone play back in the water. He looked at different people to see what they were doing. A boy named Aang and a girl named Katara were practicing their waterbending on each other, which made Stork cringe with fear. Then he saw a man named Gourry (Slayers) go water-skiing while two girls named Lina and Amelia (Slayers) stood on his shoulders, and that made Stork even more worried. The next thing he saw was two boys named Robin and Cyborg playing with a beach ball inside a giant green whale's mouth, which was actually their friend Beast Boy, and Stork was so worried that his arms went in his mouth and shot out of his ears. The last thing Stork saw was a man named Zangief (Street Fighter) holding up a laughing man named Dan (also Street Fighter) and throwing him against a rock, then again and again.

That was the last thing Stork could take. Quickly running off to the side, he came back with an ice cream cart. He shouted at the top of his lungs, "Free ice cream!"

Upon hearing that, all the beachgoers flocked over to Stork. "There's plenty for everybody!" said Stork. As the situation calmed down, Stork then said, "Does everybody have one?"

Each person was enjoying some ice cream. Hearing Stork's question, they all nodded their heads and said, "Hmm-hmm."

"Good," said Stork and then pulled out a stop watch, "because now you all have to wait at least one hour before you go swimming again." All the beachgoers were confused at what Stork told them. Before they could react, Stork said, "But just to be safe..."

Stork was now holding a roll of police tape. He ran over to the crowd and began wrapping them all in the tape so they had nowhere to go, then he wrapped up the lifeguard chair in tape, and finally wrapped up Finn before he had a chance to go surfing.

Stork wrapped the last of the tape in a bow. Finished, he said into a megaphone, "Ladies and gentleman, the lagoon is now closed."

"We like Aerrow better," said Finn.

"Does Aerrow ever give out..." Stork then shoved the megaphone in his mouth and shouted, " ice cream?"

Junko then ran out of a portable toilet after hearing what Stork said. "Ice cream!" he said. "Did somebody say ice cream? Where is it?" Junko was so focused on getting ice cream that he didn't notice a piece of toilet paper sticking out of his bathing suit.

Junko soon stood in front of the police tape Stork laid out to get people from going into the lagoon. Junko looked at the tape, and instead of reading Police Line – Do Not Cross his mind thought it said Ice Cream.

"Ice cream! Yay!" shouted Junko in joy.

Junko then broke through the tape and ran across the lagoon, laughing like an idiot. He stopped halfway across the lagoon as he felt a pain coming behind him. Both sides of his rear tightened up into two knots.

"Cramp!" Junko shouted while grabbing his rear. Junko sank into the water and resurfaced as he gargled for breath.

One of the tied-up beachgoers, a boy named Ichigo, saw Junko in the water and said, "Holy cow!" Ichigo looked up at Stork and said, "Hey, somebody's drowning!"

"Oh no, that's impossible," Stork said, waving his finger and relaxing in the lifeguard's chair with his sunglasses back over his eyes. "The lagoon is closed."

"Stork," said Finn, "get your butt in the water!"

"If anyone was in there, we'd be able to hear them," said Stork.

"Help, help!" cried Junko. "I can't swim!"

Stork took off his sunglasses and said, "Somebody would have to be screaming they were drowning."

"I'm drowning!" cried Junko, and then sank into the water.

Stork was now getting really worried. "Somebody would have to say that they crossed the line," he said.

"I'm drowning 'cause I crossed the line!" cried Junko, then sank into the water again.

The beachgoers were getting fed up with Stork ignoring the cries for help. They all looked up at him with angry expressions on their faces.

"Okay, I'll look," Stork finally admitted. He took out a pair of binoculars to look out at the lagoon. When he got a good view he said, "But just to prove to you all that..." Seeing Junko drowning in the water made Stork's eyes bulge out of the binoculars as he screamed, "...Junko isn't drowning!"

Stork saw through the binoculars Junko thrashing in the water. "Can't swim!" he said, and then sank in the water. He resurfaced and said, "Butt hurts!" Junko sank into the water once more, but resurfaced again saying, "Ice cream!"

Stork had to act fast. He had to save his friend no matter what the cost.

"Hang on, Junko!" shouted Stork as he leapt out of the lifeguard's chair. "I'll save you!"

Stork ran over to the lagoon, but as he was about to jump into the water his feet stopped at the edge. Stork's legs stretched over the water and forced him back to the edge of the beach. He forgot that he couldn't swim.

Junko sank once more, crying, "Help, help!"

Stork would now have to think of a way of saving Junko without going into the water. "Don't move!" he shouted. Stork ran quickly and came back with a lifesaver. "Junko, catch this!" he said.

Stork wound his arm up to give the lifesaver enough distance as possible but when he actually threw the lifesaver it ended up only a few inches in front of him.

Another beachgoer, a boy named Sokka, said, "Quit fooling around, man, and get in the water!"

Junko was still trying to keep himself above the water, crying, "Help, help!" It only left him sinking again.

Stork was now getting very worried. He knew that he had to save his friend, but he also knew that he can't swim. Running short on ideas, he ran in a circle and said, "Gotta think, gotta think, gotta run around and think!" That's when Stork finally had an idea. He stopped in his tracks and said, "I've got it!" He ran off again, and came back with a machine with a long hose and a rubber bag. "Junko can't drown if there isn't any water."

Stork placed the hose in the water and turned on the machine. The machine hummed as it sucked up all the water in the lagoon. Everyone looked and saw as the rubber bag on the machine expand as it filled with water. Stork then saw that there was no water left in the lagoon, and he smiled at a job well done.

"Well," Stork said confidently, "you're safe now, Junko."

A cry could then be heard from inside the giant rubber bag. Stork listened and heard it was Junko, trapped in the machine shouting, "Help, I'm drowning, my butt hurts, I want ice cream, and now it's dark!"

Stork had no choice but to eject the water. It gushed out from the machine and filled up the lagoon. Junko was now out but he was still drowning.

"Help me, I'm drowning!" Junko cried again.

Stork then concluded that he'd actually have to go into the water to save Junko. But he soon figured that going into the water didn't mean he'd have to swim. With that idea in mind, he ran off again. He then spotted a couple, a boy named Danny and a girl named June, sitting in a rowboat while they shared a hot dog.

"To us," said Danny, and he and June were about to eat.

Stork soon took the rowboat that Danny and June were in, knocking them out in the process. Danny and June hit the asphalt and sat up with angry looks on their faces.

"Sorry," said Stork coming back to them, "here's your hot dog." Danny and June then smiled when they were given back the hot dog.

Stork was now in the rowboat, making his way toward Junko. "Okay Junko, I'm right here," said Stork. As soon as Stork was close enough he said, "Come here, Junko."

Junko saw the boat and made his way into it but his arms were thrashing so fast that they began to tear the boat to pieces.

"No, wait, Junko, stop. No, Junko, Junko, Junko," Stork said, trying to calm down Junko. At the last minute Stork had shouted "Stop!", but it was too late. Junko had completely destroyed the boat, leaving Stork in the water along with him.

"Oh, sorry," Junko said.

"Help us! Somebody!" cried Stork.

In an act of stupidity, Junko shoved Stork under the water to keep from drowning. "Junko, don't!" said Stork.

Stork came above the water shouting, "Help!" Junko came up too, bringing up an anchor and hitting Stork on the head with it while shouting.

"Help us! We're drowning!" Stork and Junko cried in unison.

All the beachgoers saw the spectacle, but none of them were brave enough to do anything and they were still tied up in the tape. They all just whistled and shuffled off the beach.

"Goodbye, Junko!" shouted Stork, thrashing his arms in the water.

"Goodbye, ice cream!" shouted Junko, also thrashing his arms.

Both of them cried, "Help!" once more but they didn't notice that someone was walking up behind them. Two hands reached down and grabbed Junko and Stork out of the water. Their rescuer was Aerrow, who had a disappointed look on his face.

"Stork?" said Aerrow.

"Yes Aerrow?" replied Stork, with a blank look.

"You're not a lifeguard, are you?"

"No, Aerrow."

Aerrow carried Stork and Junko back to the beach, saying, "Okay you guys, come on."

Aerrow was sitting back in the lifeguard's chair with a soda in his hand. He looked to his side, saying, "That's it guys. You two are learning fast."

Stork and Junko were now in a kiddie pool, learning how to swim from Aerrow. They were struggling doing front strokes, and then they got up as they both felt a sharp pain.

"Ow! Butt cramp!" Stork and Junko cried in unison.

Junko displayed a sad look as he said, "...And I still don't have my ice cream."