Author Note: I own nothing.

Disclaimer: For jeminisoul's on LJ.

Not That

Glinda tossed her clutch onto her bed and stepped out of her heels, leaving them in the middle of the room and wobbling slightly at the change as she made her way to her vanity, certain that someone else (namely Elphaba, who detested any sort of mess) would pick them up and put them away in the morning. It was her newest gown, and for a lark, she had decided to deviate from her usual palette of pinks and peaches and try a powder-blue instead. The cut of the neckline was her lowest yet, the sleeves were nearly sheer, and she had worn a choker of small diamonds. Ruffling the enormous ballgown, she maneuvered herself into the chair and smiled at herself in the mirror as she removed the small crown that was perched on her head at a jaunty angle. Fluffing her curls and pouting her lips in what she assumed was a very seductive manner, Glinda continued to revel in her own reflection until the door shut loudly.

"Elphaba!" she cried, upsetting her nearby curling iron and sending it tumbling to the floor. She turned in her chair as Elphaba appeared and leaned casually against the vanity. "I thought you were sleeping."

"As much as I'm sure you think so, I am not easily replaced by deceiving lumps made by rumpled bed sheets. I was down in the kitchens," Elphaba explained, holding up a bowl filled to the top with what looked like whipped cream. "It being before two in the morning, I had not expected you back for another hour at the least and so saw no need to behave properly without your meliorative presence prompting me to do so, and therefore slammed the door shut behind me as I always do."

"One wonders why your sheets were left rumpled like that in the first place," Glinda retorted, turning back to the mirror and dabbing rouge from her lips with a tissue. She pursed her lips, decided that they were thoroughly free of make-up, and turned again to find Elphaba smirking at her.

"'One' most certainly being interchangeable with 'Glinda,'" Elphaba said matter-of-factly. Glinda sniffed in distaste.

"It makes a horrible impression on visitors when the room is not proper."

Elphaba looked pointedly at the shoes Glinda had left in the middle of the room.

"And it makes people wonder what you're up to, to leave them in such a disheveled state," Glinda continued, ignoring her own blatant hypocrisy.

"Care to find out?" Elphaba asked wickedly, holding up the bowl. Glinda blushed furiously at the implication, and began to work herself into a pout.

"Why, Miss Elphaba, I am thoroughly shocked! The nerve!"

"Too pleasure faith for you, my dear?" Elphaba drawled condescendingly. "Perhaps the upper class prefers the sort of thing involving riding boots and crops? Considering the constrictions of that gown and how much you enjoy wearing it, I wouldn't be surprised if you Gillikinese mix pain and pleasure together. Frankly, my dear, I have no interest in doing anything of the sort with you, no matter how charming you may be and how effective your wheedling is."

"Scandalous!" cried Glinda, cupping her hands lightly over her ears to avoid mussing her hair. "I shall pretend I never heard it."

She stood and pushed the chair back, making to leave, but Elphaba slipped an arm around her waist and draw her closer. Hand settling low on Glinda's back, Elphaba kissed her, and Glinda made a small noise of pleasure, acquiescing and leaning flush against the other girl.

"And I shall pretend that I do not find you incredibly attractive in such a gown," Elphaba said in a low voice. "Although I do confess that I believe you would look even more beautiful without it."

Glinda began to pout again, torn between the sleep which she desperately needed and Elphaba, whom she desperately needed in ways that did not involve sleep. "But it's so late already."

"Yes," Elphaba agreed, and sliding her free hand behind her back, Elphaba found the bowl and dragged it closer across the vanity top, within arm's reach. In an offhand manner, she added, "but it would be a shame to waste the cream."

"No. We are not doing that. Do you have any idea how much this dress costs?" Glinda began, placing a hand on Elphaba's shoulder and pushing herself off of her, though only halfheartedly. "From your childhood spent squelching and croaking amongst the Quadlings, I will correctly assume that you do not know Gillikinese textiles when you see them, let alone know their price, and I will tell you that it is extremely expensive and that if you spill a drop of that on me, I shall be very angry with you."

Without looking, Elphaba flicked a finger through the cream and raised her hand menacingly. The blonde's eyes widened in horror, and Elphaba managed to smear some of it on Glinda's bottom lip before she jerked away.

"Elphie!" Glinda wailed, balling her fist in helpless frustration and stamping a foot. "Get me a tissue right away before I wipe this off on your hideous excuse for a dress!"

"I'm hurt," Elphaba mocked, and then leaned in and kissed Glinda. Peeved and already beginning to sulk, Glinda began to pull away, but Elphaba caught her bottom lip between her own, and slowly and sensuously trailed the tip of her tongue over Glinda's lip, eliciting a whimper from the blonde.

"All gone, my pretty," Elphaba said, once they broke their kiss. Glinda's hand slid to the back of her neck, and she pulled the green girl down as she rose on her tip-toes, mouth so close she was practically kissing Elphaba's ear.

"More," she breathed.

Lights dimmed considerably, Elphaba pressed a giggling Glinda down onto her bed and set the bowl down on her nightstand. For all of her previous complaining, it seemed that rumpled sheets and unmade beds were the furthest things from Glinda's mind, and she was almost certainly over the fact that she would be getting no sleep. With a smug look on her face, Elphaba placed a dollop of cream on Glinda's bared clavicle. Bowing her head, she kissed it away, licking her own lips hungrily once it was gone and Glinda begged her to do it again. And so she repeated it, her kisses trailing lower and Glinda's hands roaming more freely until Elphaba met fabric.

She then decided that the gown had to come off.

Elphaba trailed a finger down Glinda's front, leaving a solid line of cream staining the fabric.

"How clumsy of me," Elphaba said without an ounce of remorse.

"Perhaps I should remove it, lest another accident occurs and my gown is further sullied," Glinda offered knowingly, a hand already reaching back to unlace the dress.

"A wise decision, my sweet," Elphaba agreed, bowl already in hand. "Wise, indeed."


When Elphaba awoke, it became evident that no all the cream had been thoroughly eaten, and that she was uncomfortably sticky. Peeling herself off of the sheets, she sat up, and on her nightstand she found a note in Glinda's handwriting next to the empty bowl stating the amount she owed for the dress to be professionally cleaned.

Glinda smiled triumphantly at Elphaba's ashen face as the other girl sat mechanically sipping coffee at breakfast. Next time, with pockets considerably lighter, maybe Elphaba would let her undress before bringing out any sort of delectables.