This was co-written by People-Are-Crazy and Fanpire298.

DISCLAIMER

Maria: Combined, the three of us own…

Jen: Nothing!

Ayana: Nothing!

Maria: And nothing.

A Series of Random Events

Chapter One-The Graveyard

Maria's POV

Jen and Story discussed Aro, the creepy-uncle and how Tess will kill them. We were on The Two Sides of Twilight, don'tcallmeLeeLee's forum. They typed out their top ten favorite characters and I decided to join in. We all talked and laughed, and Story had to leave for a moment. Or a few more. I didn't understand why people had to shower.

Jen and I playfully fought over Renesmee, but agreed to disagree shortly after. We chatted about Twelfth Night, the play I was doing in school. Jen brought up her science project, which she presented well. I left the chat section for a minute to visit the graveyard. That's where we remove points from our least favorite character and add to the ones we like best. I removed a point from Jacob and added to Esme. Jacob annoys me. He's…icky.

Soon thereafter, someone else posted. She said, "We warned you not to touch Jacob. Now you will pay."

I quickly went back to chat and alerted Jen of my fate in a creative way. "Jen!" I called. "Jen, help me! They're making me pay!"

"No!" Jen shouted. "Maria don't leave me!"

"Graveyard…kill…Jacob…Taco…pay…" And everything went black.

Timmy's POV

Luckily, I was there to fill in for Maria. I am Timmy, her imaginary cat. I was turned into a vampire by Esme.

"Why exactly did Maria just pass out?" Ayana asked.

"Maria passed out because Unnatural-Ketchup-Taco, who is making her pay, is making her pay," I answered.

Jen dashed away from some flying bricks. "Well, some person is going after her for harming Jacob! But more importantly, Tess is coming after me for being on Team Kill Esme!" She also decided to explain. "Ahhhh!" she screeched, for she was getting hit with even more bricks.

"Potato…kills…Esmee…Renesmee???...no…Esme…" And she passed out as well.

"Oh... poor Maria," Ayana crooned. "What did she ever do to the taco to want revenge like this?" Ayana was a good girl, worrying about others. She'll go far.

I prodded Jen with a stick to see if she'd wake up. I poked and poked and poked. It took a little bit, but she came around. "Maria took a point off Jacob." I answered Ayana and continued poking Jen.

Suddenly, Jen woke up. "Ahhhh! Stick phobia!" she yelled. She started to crawl away very slowly.

"And poor Jen," Ayana started. "I'm on TKE too. I should probably hide now. Oh no the bricks are coming!" She hid behind a dog, which ran away. Stupid animal. I'm telling you, dogs cannot be trusted! Ayana turned to a metal box. "There's a gun safe behind me! But the combination is really long." She spun the lock ten times, nine times, and eight times.

"I'm surprised that you do not wish to know who I am," I said. The girls were so preoccupied with this safe that they didn't care that I was a talking cat.

Jen sat next to Ayana and yelled, "Hide me!" She then looked at me. "Fine. I'll ask. Who. Are. You?" She didn't sound like she cared very much, but I decided to answer anyway.

"I am Maria's imaginary cat," I responded. I flaunted my gray coat. "I am a vampire, turned by the wonderful Esme." I put emphasis on Esme's name because these two were trying to kill her! "Want me to open that safe?"

"Please," Jen plead, "oh pretty please! I have to hide from the bricks!" Jen threw a brick at me, probably to prove a point. I easily dodged it.

"Fine," I replied. I opened the safe and retrieved the guns inside. "Oh Maria's up! Bye!" I needed to leave. This group made me scared.

Maria's POV

Oh my God. My head hurt really badly. What happened?

"We can hide in the safe! It's where we found my sister's Easter basket last year!" Ayana exclaimed. That safe wasn't very big… "Well I kind of put it there but... OW! Stupid bricks!" Ayana got a nice clunk on the head. That'll leave a mark.

"Will someone please tell me how we will fit in a safe?" I asked. The safe was tall, but very thin.

Jen shoved Ayana out of the way. Ayana stumbled and I caught her. "My safe!" Jen shouted and slammed the door. How was she going to get out? A muffled voice came from the safe. "Cfwrap! Lweft me outtaf ear!" That was…odd?

"I say we take the guns and ambush," I volunteered. They threatened to kill us, so we should threaten back! "Have you both played the graveyard today?" I added.

Jen banged on the safe door. "Hfelp mfe!" she called.

"I'm thinking one person only though some one else can hide in the closet and someone else can hide... under the desk." Good place for emphasis, Ayana.

"Yfep!" I couldn't understand a single word Jen said. Poor girl.

"I'll have to get my dad. He is the only person who can open it. I can't. I just like the twisty things." Ayana walked out of the room.

"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!" She hollered.

"What Ayana? Its 11:30!" He yelled back.

"Jen needs help."

"Who is Jen?"

"My cyberfriend who is inside the safe"

"How'd she get in?"

"The world works in mysterious ways."

"Eh, I'm tired." Ayana walked back into the room

"I tried," she shrugged.

Jen opened the door from inside! She can get out! "Will someone please get me out of here????" And Jen closed the door. Good Lord.

"You're smart," Ayana snorted.

"Okay!" I exclaimed. "I'll use my lightsaber!" I had absolutely no idea where I got the thing, but I found it in my back pocket. I sliced the safe in half, revealing a completely unharmed Jen.

"I guess my dad isn't hunting tomorrow after all," Ayana muttered.

"Thanks Maria!" Jen cried, hugging me. She thanked Ayana for trying and hugged her as well. She then dashed over to a tree and hugged it. Ayana and I gave her questioning looks.

"What?" she asked. "It was helpful."

I shook my head and changed the subject. "Now I need to figure out where I found this…" I trailed off, holding my lightsaber.

Jen held up a gray imaginary cat with a collar that said 'Timmy.' He was obviously mine. "And I wonder where I found this," she said dreamily.

"Give me that!" I interrupted, grabbing Timmy.

"I think you knocked over the candle on the safe," Ayana mentioned, "and my house is on fire now. Oh well!" She couldn't have cared less!

"I'll pay for that," I offered.

"Oh no, look behind you, Maria! It's the dude from Star Wars! He wants the glowey thing back! Jen shouted as I turned. I very civilly handed Darth the weapon and he disappeared. Then, Jen got hit by another brick!

"Is Tess back to haunt us all?!?!" Ayana yelled. I wasn't expecting the brick, to be honest.

"Where are all these bricks coming from?" I asked and yelled.

"T-T-T-Tess....We're killing Esme...And she's out to get us...Ahhhh! No Tess, don't!" Jen was taken down by a brick army. They clanked and laughed at her pain. I felt bad for her. It's pitiful.

"Mike Newton," Ayana responded absent-mindedly, "is teaming up with Tess."

I sighed, "Then don't kill Esme. Kill Jacob!"

And everyone who is a Twilight fan and wants to be on this awesome, brick-throwing, forum is definitely welcome. But, if you kill Esme I would stay away from Tess. Enough said.