***Warning – it may very well get hot-n-heavy so if you're not into that sorta thing don't read (although I can't imagine why you would read the horror parts of it and not the nice saucy ones…) whatever lol I hope you like it***
He said he loved me! He poured his heart out and it was to me! Every word he uttered was like balm to my soul, healing me from the inside out. Never in my life did being so close to a man feel so wrong and so utterly right at the same time. How could this abrasive self serving man turn into the only person I thought I would ever be able to trust again? How could Officer Jacob Black make me feel like nothing else mattered in the world except for him? How was I lost and in love with someone who has made me so damn miserable?
It was almost too much for me to handle, yet it is exactly what I have wanted this whole time even when I thought I loathed him.
I had to shut him up. I couldn't hear any more perfect words come from his mouth. I needed him, if not the way a man and a woman should be together than at least the way Bella Swan needed Jacob Black. I wrapped my arms around him kissing him passionately trying to interpret my love for him with that one kiss. It wasn't enough. My entire body was on fire for this man and words alone, a kiss alone would never ever be sufficient. I pressed myself against him and he held me tight. Thankfully the pain that Edward had caused so many weeks ago has ebbed away and now I was filled with an all knew kind of pain; the pain of wanting someone more than air.
I whispered I love you against his mouth over and over again hungrily clinging to him hoping that he would never let me go. All my ugly pain was gone when I was in his arms and I wanted nothing more than to be in them for the rest of my life. As I held him close, my arms wrapped around his neck I played with the ring Jacob bought me, my 'engagement ring' wishing with everything I had that it was real…and for all I knew it was, this, right here, totally engrossed in the moment, this could be the beginning of forever. I suppose that it's just me jumping the gun and getting ahead of myself but how could I not think about spending forever with the man that for all intents and purposes is exactly what I never thought I always needed.
He picked me up in his arms and cradled me as he laid me back down on his bed, his warm soft bed that smelled of his essence. I smiled up at him as he hovered over me, taking me in, admiring me.
"Bella?" he said, tilting his head to the side with a slight smirk on his face.
"Mmm" I responded, smiling, still unable to get my mind around the thought of forming complete words. I was in a trance, kind of like that feeling you get right before you're about to go to sleep and you feel your most peaceful.
"I know I said that this wasn't the right time not five minutes ago, but I don't know if I can keep myself from making love to you. My body is craving you in a way that I cannot accurately describe to you. I want you to know that it's okay and that I would never hurt or harm you."
I was silent for a while not knowing what to say. Of course I wanted him to make love to me. I wanted to know what it was like again…I didn't want to associate sex with terror, but making love with pleasure – that's what I craved with Jake – more than anything.
I didn't respond to him with words. Instead I squirmed a little under his body and slowly I removed the shirt he gave me. Slowly I removed my pants so that I was left with nothing but a pair of the Victoria's Secret underwear, specifically the royal blue ones he picked out the day he proposed to me.
My eyes were closed. I'm not going to lie. I was terrified but happily excited.
"Open your eyes Bella." He said huskily and playfully, the smile prominent in his voice. It was what I needed. His words made me feel at ease and comfortable. So, I opened my eyes.
What I saw were his two deep brown eyes staring back at me with a love so intense it literally took my breath away. I inhaled deeply, sharply and exhaled slowly which left a mischievous smile on my face.
"Ok Jacob." I said teasingly. "Hurry up and kiss me already." And before I could finish my sentence his lips were on mine. His hands slowly traveled up my torso and slid under my back lifting me up to meet him. He wasn't wearing much, just the scrubs from the party, so I could feel everything. Just the thought that he was hard for me was enough to drive me over the edge and it was all I could do not to cry out for him to just take me already. Instead several soft moans escaped my mouth which in turn turned him on even more if his responding moans were any indication.
With his hands still under me he lifted me just slightly closer to him so that my head tilted back allowing him, and his mouth, unobstructed access to my neck. He didn't waste a single second and didn't miss a single spot.
I held on to his strong shoulders, greedily trying to remove the sweater he still had on. I fumbled with it and he moved back a little, laying me gently on the bed as he removed it with one quick movement. I reached for the draw strings on his pants but he moved away my hands and took care of it himself quicker than I would have ever even imagined possible. He was in nothing but a pair of boxer briefs but I wasn't having any of that, and so, clearly reading the look on my face, he got rid of those too. If I thought I was nervous before, it was nothing to what I felt then.
He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Bella, are you sure you want this?" I reached out for him but he moved back. "Bella, I'm serious, are you ready for this?" he said it so kind I felt the tears well up in my eyes and two tears streamed down the side of my face and I pulled him down on me. The feel of his body against mine was like a little slice of heaven and I was going to die if I didn't have him – soon!
"I'm ready Jake."
He moved a strand of hair to the side and kissed my eyes before gently pressing his lips against mine. His hand sneaked slowly down my body and removed my underwear. He kissed every part of me from my lips to my cheeks to my neck and chest carefully over every scar the monster left behind. I never thought I would feel beautiful after the horrid nightmare I went through and the many visual scars the incident left behind but it was clear that Jacob wanted me to know that he loved every broken, torn up inch of me and even with the lasting reminders he found me completely beautiful and wasn't fazed, grossed out or bothered by the slashes and burn marks…at least not in the sense where he was disgusted with me, at the monster yes but not me.
I felt the heat bubble up inside of me until I thought I was going to lose my mind and just as I thought I was going to have to beg him, he covered my mouth with his and slowly entered me. Both of us let out identical moans of pleasure and love. He didn't move right away, I imagined to gauge how I felt. I opened my eyes and saw him examining me, expecting me to tell him to stop. Instead I whispered, "I love you Jacob Black." He smiled and let out a soft sigh as he said, "Not more than I, Bells, not more than I." And with that we were lost to each other. My entire body was filled with the electricity of love making. Nothing hurt and the pain I felt was the most wonderful pain of my life. He was gentle at first until I let him know with every part of me that I was fine, more than fine I was freakin' fantastic and then that was it. Hungrily we went at it seemingly unable to get enough of each other. We wanted to crawl into each other's skin and no matter how much we tried we just couldn't get enough, couldn't be as close as we desired.
Yeah, he told me he loved me with his words, but he also showed me he loved me in the most intimate of ways…over and over and over again.
…and not once did I think of that monster. It was all Jake. It was always about Jake.
A/N: Again I deeply apologize to all the readers for the delay and for the shortness of this chapter. I am SO not exaggerating when I say I have SOOO much going on. But fear not, I have not forgotten about you. I do, however, have one bit of bad news. Jazzvamp90 will no longer be assisting in writing the remainder of the chapters with me. Life has been taking over and so although she wishes she could continue there just doesn't seem to be any time and so this is why I have written from Bella's perspective. I am so sorry, I know I changed Bella's personality a bit but I will try to stay as true to her true self as I can. (I am a sappy romantic and so it is hard for me to keep her badass persona) anyway the storyline falls solely on me now so it will run much slower – or maybe just as slow as it has been but I will not give up – that's a promise. If you all have any ideas just be sure to send me a message – preferably to my pen name ziomy mailbox
I hope to hear from you guys soon as always, I love the comments so go for it and tell me what you think, what you like or do not like. I am always up for suggestions. Love u guys!