Disclaimor: I don't own "Twilight"


"It will be as if I never existed." At that moment I awoke from my nightmare. I don't know why I was dreaming of "him." Three years is what it took to move on to a resemblance of a normal life. Now it was true. It was as if he never existed. It'd been 3 years. No phone calls. No e-mails. Nothing. If I had not of found the photo's and CD in my floorboard before I left for Dartmouth, I would have swore he was a dream. But he wasn't.

After he left I put my family and friends (well what little I had) through hell. I deserted them all. I stopped answering their phone calls. I was in my own personal hell. I realized months after that he left ME. I wasn't "good" for him. Oh how I already knew that. But I wasn't about to keep my promise. Not now. Not after he left me alone. I would be a reckless teenager. I was, thanks to my best friend Jacob Black. I slowly began to come out of the darkness. He was the sunshine in my cloudy day. I spent months in La Push. I even got some of my old friends back, Angela and Ben. Even Mike started to really talk to me again. Jake was my best friend. Emphasis on was. He wanted more. More than what I could give him at the time. "I'll wait for you Bella" is what he told me. And he did. He waited 6 months. It was 6 months too long for him. I realized too late that I wanted to be with Jacob. I needed him to be my Jacob. But he moved on to someone better. I didn't know what imprinting was until the day I told Jake I loved and wanted to be with him. I remember that day so clearly…

"Jacob I need to talk to you." I said.

Hesitantly "Sure Bells what is it?" Jake motioned for me to sit down.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have come here." I turned to leave. Tears threatening to spill over.

He grabs me by the arms forcing me to stay. "What Bella?"

"Jacob I…I…I love you. I love you so much it hurts. I realize I need you in my life Jake. You're my sunshine. I realized it after you stopped calling. Tell me you still love me too. Please." I pleaded.

"Bella," he looked away. I knew it then it was too late. "Bella," he started over. "You know I love you. But I can't be with you." I felt the tears spill out of my eyes.

I sat there for an hour as he told me about how he imprinted on Embrey's cousin Nikki.

" I love you Bella. You know I do. But the love I have for her runs deeper. She's my soul mate. Like I was blind until I saw her."

They were soul mates. Something he and I never were. The ache, the black hole creeped back in. I spent weeks at home. Alone, curled into a ball. Then it hit like a ton of bricks. I knew then what had to be done. The only thing that could be. I said goodbye to Charlie and I left Forks, Washington.

A/N: Please review.