The familiar chime signified the end of classes. I picked up my bag and instinctively made my way out into the hall and headed in the direction of the clubroom. I'd gotten used to this daily routine and to tell you the truth, I actually enjoyed it. Admittedly most of the actual pleasure in attending these ridiculous meetings was due to a certain upperclassman's tea brewing mastery and penchant for cosplay. I arrived outside the clubroom door and knocked gently, expecting a soft voice to bid me enter. Incredibly, instead of that delicate music, the door was thrust open by none other than Nagato Yuki, looking as expressionless as ever. Oh well, perhaps she felt like a change from sitting perfectly still all the time ? I smiled at Yuki, greeted Asahina-san then set my bag down and pulled up a chair. Wait. Why is Asahina-san wearing her sailor uniform ? And why isn't she brewing tea ? I can understand her reluctance in wearing such an embarassing outfit, but as for making tea I knew Ashanina enjoyed this mundane task.

"What's up ?"

I said as I looked closely at Asahina, noticing the tear streaks on her adorable face. Even in the midst of hysteria this angel managed to radiate an aura of beauty.

*sniff* "Kyon, I'm fine. I'll brew some tea"

"You don't look fine to me. Have you been crying ?"

Although I already knew the answer I felt it was best to ask. I'll give her the chance to open up to me. I'm such a gentleman.

*sniff* "I have been crying, Kyon, but you don't understand. I'm happy, not sad!"

Asahina-san was the type to cry at the mere mention of a puppy with a broken leg so it didn't surprise me to hear that these were tears of joy.

"So, what's the good news then ?"

Asahina set down a cup of green tea in front of me and began to talk. For some reason my eyes were fixed on the spiralling steam, worming its way upwards in a valiant attempt to escape its boiling prison. It was all I could manage at hearing Asahina-san's words.

"...and so I can go back to the future when I please! Kyon, are you listening ?"

I quickly shook myself out of my steam cloud revery and stared at Asahina-san.

"I'm sorry, I must have misheard you. Did you say Haruhi has lost her powers ? She's just a normal highschool girl now ?"

"Well, I wouldn't say normal"

Said Asahina-san with a dark smile I'd never seen before.

I looked over at Nagato for confirmation.

"Is this true ?"


She stared at me for a full minute, those obsidian eyes seemingly penetrating my soft exterior and boring their way into my brain. Eventually she answered with a barely perceptable nod. Then she did something I thought I would never see. She smiled. It was barely a twitch and if you didn't know Nagato and her incredibly subtle actions you would have surely missed it.

"Did you just smile ?"

I said with a rapidly growing grin working its way across my face. Nagato ignored the question and began to talk in her regular monotone.

"I recieved word from the Integrated Data Sentient Entity thirty minutes ago. Our observations are complete."

This came as quite a shock to me as I'd pretty much resigned myself to my fate of following Haruhi's every whim with no hope of complaint or compromise.

"So what happens how ? Are you going to return to your people in space ? Come to think of it, where exactly are you from ?"

"My origins are of no importance. I am here now and here is where I'll stay. I was created with the sole purpose of observing Suzumiya-san. That task is now complete and I am obsolete. The Intergrated Data Sentient Entity gave me a choice. I could return to my creators and be terminated or I could stay here on Earth and live the life of a human. I chose the latter."

Given the choice of a quick death and a life on an alien planet I think I would also have chosen the latter.

"That's great"

I said, the grin on my face now working its way up to a full blown cheshire cat smile.

"And what about you, Asahina-san ? I guess you'll be going back to the future soon..."

As this realization dawned on me the joy I'd just had the pleasure of experiencing decided to take this oportunity to vacate my body, leaving quite a mess on the way out. I think Asahina-san picked up on my sudden mood swing as she said:

"I-i-t's okay, Kyon. Although I must return to my time plane at some point, there's no rush. I have been given permission to continue my studies here at North High. I'm also happy about the fact that I no longer have to fear that stupid girl"

This was a side of Asahina I had never seen. There's no doubt the "stupid girl" she was referring to was none other than Suzumiya Haruhi. Perhaps Koizumi was telling the truth when he told me Asahina-san's adorable personality was an act. Although saying that, I can empathise with Asahina in this respect. Over the past year Haruhi has forced Asahina into various costumes in broad daylight, repeatedly assaulted and abused her, taken advantage of her and just plain bullied her.

"I'm not going to take it anymore"

she continued

"The next time she tries to force me into one of her silly costumes I'm going to tell her NO! I'm sick of being made a fool of and I'm especially sick of the way that she treats me. I can finally be myself after a year of living under that horrible girl"

Almost on cue, the clubroom door burst open and there in the doorway, beaming her million-watt smile was the former centre of the universe, Suzumiya Haruhi. She strode over to the commander's desk with not so much as a glance at any of us. Upon sitting down she swung her legs onto the desk and turned that annoying grin towards us. I was still trying to digest the prospect of a world with a (relatively) normal Haruhi when she said:

"What's the matter with you Kyon ? You look like a fool, sitting there with that gormless face of yours"

I smiled in reply and quickly glanced over at Asahina-san. I could see her temperature rising. Seething beneath that inncoent exterior was the burning pressure of a years worth of abuse. Stay calm, I thought. She may not have God-like powers anymore but she's still a formiddable opponent. I know for a fact that she has the strength to easily pin me down without breaking a sweat. What chance do you stand ? As if reading my mind, Asahina visibly deflated and turned her auburn head to face the window.

Meanwhile, Haruhi who had booted up the computer and was browsing the SOS brigade's homepage let out a "humph"

"We haven't recieved any hits in a week. Did you do something to the homepage, Kyon ? Or maybe you didn't set it up right in the first place."

She turned her accusing scowl towards me, but for some reason it just didn't have the same effect. There was a time when her penetrating stare would make the hairs on my arms stand up but now I just felt slightly irritated. Was it the fact that I knew she had no unseen powers or was it that the power of her stare was increased ten fold by her powers ? I don't know, and quite frankly I don't care.

"At least answer your commander!"

She bellowed, that annoying grin still plastering her face.

"Huh ? Oh, I don't know. Maybe no one actually cares about your stupid brigade"

I wanted to say, although there was a part of me that was still slightly wary of Haruhi's outbursts. Instead I murmured something that sounded like an apology to placate the almost furious brigade leader who was still looking at me like a ravenous dog.

Haruhi "humphed" again and turned towards Asahina-san

"Mikuru, tea!"

She ordered while fixing that somewhat disturbing stare on Asahina-san.

Asahina slowly turned away from the window and faced Hahuhi. The expression on her face was hard to describe. After recieving an order from Haruhi, Asahina would usually bow her head, blurt out a frantic apology and fumble about trying desperately to please her master. She was different now. Instead she met Haruhi's stare, stood up, parted her lips and let out a slow and resounding no.

"What do you mean, no ? When your brigade leader gives you an order you are to do as she says. Mikuru, tea, NOW!"

Haruhi was not even trying to suppress her anger as she clenched her fists. If I were one of those people that say they can see a person's aura I would say that Haruhi's was a burning red, almost radioactive in its ferocity. In contrast to this was Asahina's face, staring curiosly at Haruhi with what looked like the beginnings of a smirk building up on her face. This situation could rapidly escalate into violence judging by the look on Haruhi's face. Although I wouldn't mind seeing a cat fight, I don't think I could bare watching Asahina-san in pain.

"Hey, haruhi. I'll make the tea. Asahina-san has had a tiring day. It's no problem."

I said in an attempt at difusing the situation.

"Stay out of this, Kyon! If Mikuru wishes to be insubordinate she best be prepared to accept the consequences! Isn't that right, Mikuru ? Now for the last time, tea!"

I expected Asahina-san to revert back to her passive self after this outburst but Ashahina's smirk only widened.

"Why don't you make the tea"

I was stunned and judging by the look on Haruhi's face she was too. I glanced over at Nagato who, in breaking with the habit of a lifetime had put down her book and was watching with interest as the scene unfolded.

"How dare you speak to me like that! There will be a severe penalty for this. Honestly I don't know what's gotten into you, Mikuru. For a start you can put your maid costume back on. Who gave you permission to take it off anyway ?"

Haruhi turned her head and briefly fixed me with an accusing stare before marching towards Asahina with outstretched arms. With the speed and agility to rival even the fastest feline, Haruhi positioned herself behind Asahina and attempted to forcefully rip off her sailor uniform. She had done this many times before but this time was different. Haruhi was viciously clawing at Asahina's now ruffled uniform and scratching her marble skin quite a bit in the process. Asahina's reaction is something that will stick in my mind until the day I die. With teeth clenched and not so much as the smallest whimper, she moved her small arm out in front of her and brought it back sharply until it met resistance. The resistance was of course Haruhi, who after catching the sharp blow in her stomach collapsed to the floor, wheezing pitifully. Asahina looked down at the crumpled Haruhi with a blank expression on her face. I have no idea what's going on in that girls head at the moment.

"Asahina-san, maybe you shouldn't have done..."

I began, but Asahina wasn't listening. Instead tears had started streaming down her face as she continued to look at the body on the floor.

*cough* "you'll *cough* recieve the strictest *cough* penalty once I get up"

Said Haruhi as she struggled to talk in between heavy coughing. Even though she was in pain her fury was burning brighter than I had ever seen it.

"You won't get up"

Said Asahina in a wooden voice as she swung her leg back and brought it into contact with Haruhi's jaw. I'm sure I saw a tooth fly out in the mass of blood and spit that splattered against the side of the desk Haruhi was trying to use to pull herself up. Asahina, tears still streaming down her face continued her assault with multiple, very hard kicks to Haruhi's ribs. In between Asahina's frightening screams and Haruhi's terrified yelps I'm sure I heard a crack or two. All this time I had been sitting there watching with my mouth wide open, not really believing in what I was seeing with my own eyes. I was just about to interupt when Nagato, who's reflexes are without a doubt the fastest of all the people in this room, leapt up and was instantly behind Asahina-san, clasping her tightly

"That is enough"

Said Nagato as she brought her little mouth into contact with Asahina's smooth neck. I had seen her do this during the filming of our movie. Except, instead of defusing life threatening lasers, Nagato seemingly injected some kind of anisthetic. Just before Asahina's delicate body was overcome with the drug, she brought her foot down for a final blow on Haruhi's temple. As Asahina passed out I rushed foward to catch her. I laid her sleeping body on the ground and turned around to see the full extent of Haruhi's injuries. It didn't look good. Her face was unrecogniseable. What I saw was a battered mask of blood, twisted and deformed by the little foot of the sleeping beauty next to me. Her body lay at a sickening angle, clearly indicating that many of her ribs were in fact broken. It was at this point, as I was surveying the damaging, that I realised Haruhi had stopped making sounds some time ago. I leant over her in a panic and shouted her name. It was clear she was unconcious from the battering she had recieved. I got down onto my knees and held her wrist in my hand as I frantically tried to find a pulse.

"Haruhi! Wake up! We're calling an ambulance now, hold on!"

I said this because I had assumed Nagato, ever the quick thinker, would have already rushed out of the room to summon aid. Instead she just stood there, looking at the bloody mess on the floor with a blank expression on her face.

"Nagato! What the hell are you doing, call a damn ambulance! Help her, she's seriously hurt! Use your alien powers! Do whatever you do, just help!"

Nagato looked at me with those lifeless eyes and said:

"I cannot. Her lifeforce has already departed"


"Her lifeforce has departed ? You... you mean she's... dead ?"

"That is so"

I felt heavy. My vision became blurry and my legs refused to work. I sat there on the floor staring unblinkingly at Haruhi. When Asahina said she wasn't going to take it anymore I assumed she meant she would simply tell Haruhi how she felt and try to come to some kind of agreement. I never expected her intent to be so murderous. It struck me that perhaps underneath that cute, fluffy exterior was the cold, black heart of a sadist. All this time acting as the Asahina I knew must have been incredibly taxing if that were indeed true. I glanced at the sleeping killer. She looked so adorable as she lay there fast alseep, her ample bosom rythmically rising and falling in time with her breathing. What have you done, Asahina-san...

"We must dispose of this empty vessel"

Said Nagato, still standing perfectly still in the same spot.

"What do you mean, empty vessel! This is Haruhi, our friend! Show some goddamn compassion for once!"

I was angry at Nagato's callous behaviour. I was angry at Asahina's reckless actions. But most of all I was angry at that damn fool Haruhi. Why couldn't she just leave Asahina-san alone ? That damn bully! Before I knew what I was doing I had hit Haruhi in the face with my first. I recoiled in surprise then immediately grabbed the bin and vomitted. A thought flashed across my mind; my finger prints, my DNA would now be over the face of this murder victim. I felt an arm on my shoulder. The police! How did they get here so quickly ? I looked up to see the face of Nagato Yuki. As I stared into her eyes I noticed a trace of something. A spark of ife; perhaps some kind of emotion.

"Why didn't you do anything! You could have stopped this! Why did you let Haruhi die!

I yelled, still furious at the situation.

"She is no longer of any importance to us. I am not allowed to interfere in this world"

I felt like hitting Nagato there and then. Her utterley heartless attitude sickened me. I had always known she lacked what we humans call emotions, but I at least thought she understood what compassion was. My eyes were stinging as I scathingly replied:

"What are we to you ? Just walking sacks of flesh of no consequence to the mighty aliens ?"


I swung my fist at Nagato. If I were thinking clearly I would have never attempted something so stupid. From what I have seen, Nagato Yuki is capable of almost instantaneous movement so the chances of my fist hitting its mark were lower than absolute zero.

I suddenly found myself on my back, looking up at the ceiling with something heavy pinning me down. I adjusted my gaze to see Nagato straddling me, her small arms effortlessly holding my appendages, rendering them useless. At this very moment I feared for my life. I had attempted to attack someone infinitely more powerful than myself, and from our recent situation I had learned, someone with no sort of compassion. Nagato's eyes were a mystery to me; I had no idea what she was planning to do. I just continued to stare into those black voids, too scared to move even if I had been able to. Nagato released my right arm and moved her hand towards my face. This is it, I thought. I closed my eyes, waiting for the end...

I felt a soft hand cup my cheek. I opened my eyes to see Nagato's face, now mere centimeters from my own, again wearing that almost unnoticeable smile. She moved in closer and parted her pale lips slightly. Was she going to inject me with something like she had done to Asahina-san ? Come to think of it what did she inject Asahina-san with ? As I was pondering this she moved her other hand onto my face and leant forward once more. Our lips met. I don't know what surprised me more. The fact that Nagato was kissing me, or that her lips were surprisingly warm for such a cold being.

We stayed like that for some time. Nagato's gentle embrace had driven the thoughts of where I was and what lay right next to me to the back of my mind. I started to enjoy the sensation and as our lips parted I moved my hands up to Nagato's beautiful face. Her skin was so smooth and the warmth radiating out was enough to drive me crazy. I pulled her closer and started to kiss her neck. Delicately at first, but after I heard Nagato's first whimper my movements became more aggressive. I started to bite her fragile neck, again softly at first but then with more force as the ever increasing moans drowned out any sort of restraint I had once possessed. My hands started to act on their own, working their way down Nagato's back. For some reason all I could think about was how much I enjoyed the curvature of Nagato's spine. My hands eventually made their way down to her cute little butt, which I must admit I've admired in the past.

While my hands were exploring the flesh of the alien, Nagato's hands had also begun to move. She started by unbuttoning my shirt and slowly rubbing her hands over my chest. Her movements were fluid, her fingers agile. She worked her way down my chest, over my stomach and finally stopped at my pants. She fixed me with her eyes as she started to unbuckle my belt. I was already hard at this point and the sensation of Nagato's fingers, fumbling about and occasionally touching my member was driving me insane. Her hand found my rock hard cock, and as she started to slowly stroke it, she kissed me hard. She then started to kiss my chest and followed the journey of her hands, down to my throbbing penis.

Her mouth was warm, and felt like nothing I'd ever experienced as she closed her lips around my shaft. The sensation was unbelieveable, and as this was my first time I couldn't help but feel like erupting. I gently pulled nagato's head away, wanting to make her feel as good as I was feeling, with the ulterior motive of maybe lasting a bit longer. I moved my hands down Nagato's body, slowly exploring her breasts as I passed and finally working my way down, past her skirt to her exposed thighs. I slowly moved my hands up, bracing myself in anticipation for the treasure I would find under this girls clothes. As my hands drew closer and closer Nagato began to let out little whimpers. Man, I didn't know girls were this sensative! My hands finally found their goal... and stopped. I felt something hard. Something long and hard. Something not unsimilar to what Nagato had just had in her mouth.

Suddenly Nagato jumped up, grabbed me and dragged me into the closet with her.

"Someone is coming"

She said, her face still slightly red from our recent activities. I stood there terrified as the memories of today's unpleasant and extremely improbable events made their way back to the forefront of my mind. The door to the clubroom slowly opened and someone entered. I heard a gasp, and could see through the crack in the door a panic stricken Koizumi, frozen to the spot. That was the last I saw of the clubroom as the next moment I was in the living room of Nagato's apartment, the silent alien standing next to me.

"What the ?"

"I scrambled our molecules and reassembled them at this location"

Explained Nagato.

"You mean we teleported ?"

"Yes, you could say that"

Said Nagato with a frown, clearly preferring her own explanation.

"Why ? Why did you teleport us away from there, leaving Asahina-san sleeping on the floor"

Quite frankly I couldn't give a crap about that bastard Koizumi.

"I have sent Asahina Mikuru back to her time plane. She will have no memory of today's events"

I was dumbfounded. Nagato was just going to cover this up ? Before I had the chance to express this thought Nagato, seemingly reading my mind said:

"I am not attempting to cover up this crime. Asahina Mikuru does not belong in this time. If she were to be questioned by the authorities things could be problematic. I have arranged things so that someone else will be caught. In fact they should be apprehended at this very moment"

Nagato looked at me with a sense of sorrow. Was I wrong before ? Does she feel things ?

"But... but who's taking the blame ? This is wrong. We can't just let some poor bastard take the blame, especially since my DNA will be found on the body"

"Koizumi will take the blame"

Said Nagato, matter-of-factly.

"I have aranged things so that when the body is examined traces of Koizumi's saliva and semen will be found on Suzimeya-san. I have also altered his memories. As far as he recalls, he arrived at the clubroom to find only Haruhi inside. He decided this was an opportune moment to confess his feelings to her. Suzimeya-san laughed at his confession and Koizumi became enraged. After beating her senseless he then proceeded to rape and kill her."

I stared at Nagato. She really was heartless. No one would set someone up like this, not even that bastard Koizumi. I actually felt sorry for him. Damn you Nagato, don't make me feel these things! There was still one thing troubling me.

"But why did you teleport us both here ? We could have just walked out after you had altered the scene."

Nagato looked at me for some time before leaning in close and once again kissing me with those soft lips.

"I wanted you, Kyon. I've wanted you since the first time I saw you. It is only now that I'm free that I am able to express these feelings. You are mine now."

I didn't like the way that she said that last part but at the moment my mind was focused on the delicate tounge working it's way around my mouth. My hands once again moved down to Nagato's...

Wait a minute, what happened before I was dragged into the closet ?