One last moment before the world turns around.
One last moment before we have to go back.
One last moment before our parting words last.
I turn around and find Siri looking down at me, concern in her eyes. "Yes?" I croak out, my throat dry from crying.
She kneels next to me, placing her hand on mine. "Why are you crying?"
I shake my head, not wanting for her to know. "I…Nothing. It-it was nothing."
She frowns, clearly annoyed that I didn't ask her question. "Tell me, Obi-Wan."
I shake my head defiantly, clamping my jaw shut. She sighs and grabs my hand, pulling. "Well, come on then. Let's go to your room, and we can talk there."
We get up, and she practically drags me to my room. It's a quiet walk, besides my crying. When we reach my room, she opens it and plops me on the sleep-couch.
"Now, tell me." She sits next to me, rubbing my back.
I calm my tears before speaking. "Anakin…was injured on the last mission. The people who captured him thought that it would be wasteful to carry him around. So th-they poisoned him. And-." I burst out sobbing again. "He's going to die! He's going to die…"
Siri must've been shocked, for she doesn't speak for a long time, rubbing circles on my back. Finally, she hesitantly speaks. "You don't know that. He's a tough man, Obi-Wan. He'll make through it." She smiles softly. "You think he's going to leave you now? He still has a few tricks to play on you."
This forces a reluctant smile off my face. But I quickly sober up. "Maybe."
Siri playfully slaps me. "Now don't get all pessimistic on me. He'll be fine." She smiled sympathetically, and turned to go. "I-"
"Stay with me," I interrupt quickly, not wanting her to go.
Siri softly shakes her head. I get up, going to her. "Please, stay with me."
She stiffens. "Obi-Wan, we promised. We have survived. Let us not go back to it again." She sighs. "Please, Obi-Wan. Not again," she whimpers.
But I ignore her, and reach her lips. She hardens, but softens again, and lifts her hands to my face. As we break away, she sighs, and shakes her head.
Honestly, I don't know. I just hang my head in shame. "I'm sorry if I-"
But she leans closer, and kisses me again. When we break away again, Siri has tears in her eyes. "I've always wanted to do that."
I stroke her cheek. "Then why are you crying?"
She moves to the couch. "I don't know, Obi-Wan. I guess because I'm torn between loyalty to the Order and my heart." She looks up at me. "Which one do we choose? Our life or sanity?"
I sit next to her, rubbing her back. "Whichever one we want, Siri."
"This isn't a game!" she says frustratingly. "We're not kids anymore! We have padawans, we're in a war. We can't just leave." She looks down. "We just can't…"
She leans on my shoulder, grabbing my hand and making small circles. I lean my head on hers, rubbing circles on her back. We sit like this for who knows how long. Soon, it's evening, and the lights start to dimmer. We sigh together, and get up.
"Would you like to sleep here? In another room?" I quickly add, when she turns away. "It's been done before."
She looks back at me. "No. Go get changed, and I will be here when you're done." She smiles and prances off.
I almost burst out laughing. I have never known for Siri to prance, even under-cover. But I rush off to my room, and undress, except for my robe. When I emerge, Siri is sitting on the couch, looking embarrassed, with only a robe on her body. She looks up as I walk further into the room.
"What are we doing?" she asks.
"As I said earlier, whatever we want."
I walk up to her, and kiss her cheek. "Let us go into my room."
Siri complies, wrapping her arm around my waist.
And as we lie down, Siri asks if we're sure about this. I reply by kissing her shoulder. I slowly work down to her hand, slipping off the robe. She copies me, and slips her body into mine.
We make love for hours, time passing quickly. Later on, we realized that we don't remember much. I remember her sobbing, wondering what the heck we're doing. I remember sobbing myself, wondering if I let Anakin and Qui-Gon down. I remember enjoying every bit of it.
When morning came, there was a knock my door. We freeze, locked into each other.
"Shh," I whisper. She nods and slips into the covers.
I rush to put my clothes on, calling that'd I'd be right there. I rush to the door to find a healer. She tells me something, but I hardly comprehend it, the night has meddled with my brain. Later, I realize, it must have been good, for I stumble to my room, sobbing with joy. Siri is looking at me, a question in her face. I must've told her, for her face brightens. She moves to get up, but then realizes her nudity, and crumples back into the blanket.
"What now?" She asks.
I shrug in response.
She sighs. "What did we just do, Obi-Wan?" She smiles ruefully. "And don't say 'What we wanted to do.'"
I shrug again.
"You should go see him."
I nod, but don't move.
She gets up, blanket wrapped around her. She places a hand on my face. "Go to him, Obi-Wan. Go, and forget."
She stands up, erect and tall. An air of command. "By however you forgot last time." She looks down at me. "And you will forget. You have to."
I stand up next to her. "But-"
"Shh. Please, Obi-Wan don't make this any harder." Siri walks to the 'fresher. "I will get dress, then leave. And you will go see Anakin. He needs you."
I watch her disappear and close the door. I get dressed myself, and wait for her to come out. When she does, her eyes are puffy, and cheeks wet.
We walk up to each other, crying silently. She sighs, and looks down. "Please forget Obi-Wan. I don't want to go through this again."
She walks to the door waving her hand to open it. "Good-bye, Obi-Wan. I hope we never see each other again for our sake." She looks up. "And we won't. Promise me, Obi-Wan. Please."
I look at her sorrowfully, but promise her. As she walks out the door, I realize that I never told her what I really felt. And I never would tell her. Even during her death. We never spoke the words. I wish we did. Maybe we would have ended up in the stars after-all.
One last moment before our fire dies out.
One last moment before the skies cry our last good bye.
One last moment before the stars stop their glorious song.