The counting is natural now, not always external but it exists nonetheless, like a soft unheard heartbeat the numbers echo in his mind. His eyes always seem to find his watch and he'll watch as the seconds pass until the bodies fall.
It might disappoint his victims that the only thought Kira spares for them at the time of their death is a number.
Some say that life is the greatest gift one can give to his son is life, Light disagrees, the greatest gift his father ever gave to him was a wrist watch.
A String of Numbers
The life span wasn't a surprise, neither were the eyes, somehow he had always felt that God was a mathematician. Life wasn't dictated by choices, by gods or demons, no matter what Ryuk might have thought.
Light found that his life was dictated by a string of invisible numbers that floated above his head.
There are gears upon his desk glitter in the lamplight as his screwdriver twists the innards of the world, always his mind is on the form, on the perfection while the repairs are being made. In his hand the world remains, screaming in agony as he rips out its innards, and yet he doesn't listen for in his mind he can already hear the ticking of paradise.
When Light pictures Mu he imagines that it is not that one sees 'nothingness' but that one feels the absence of it. He firsts tries to imagine 'nothingness' in itself as absence but that seems to be too broad. Instead he narrows and his mind settles on one final image that he can grasp.
Mu is the absence of time.
The Eleventh Hour
Ryuk often wonders at his pace, at how quickly his hand flies across the pages, and the god of death often turns to the human and asks why the speed, what's the rush?
His answer is always the same, it's the eleventh hour and a life time is miniscule in the face of eternity.
L likes to remind him that children's tales always end with the moral and that's why Kira would never win, because what kind of a moral could Kira provide? He always smiles at the thought but he remains unmoved because Light remembers that every child's tale begins with time and that Light is master of this in ways that the detective never can be.
They think he is a God simply because he controls time and space through death, he supposes it is logical enough but he thinks there is far more to being a true god then that. Kira is content to let them think what they will and he grins at the thought of their worship but Kira can understand the difference between a god and God.
It is a curious thing, to lose one's sense of time, to have it simply slip away between the stonework and the steel bars. He's not sure if he's surprised or terrified by the thought of it, the lack of it, the lack of place in that cold dark room where the camera was his only friend.
(Light imagines later that L was quite frustrated at the fact that Light was more concerned about the lack of a clock then the fact that he had been imprisoned for being a mass murderer)
Time stops for no man but men from time to time stop for Time. He stands on L's grave looking at the date inscribed upon the stone, soon to be eroded away by lack of maintenance, eventually nothing more than a rock with a few illegible letters inscribed in its surface.
Time marches past L Lawliet but Light has the feeling even as he looks down that L marches past time as well.
Ryuk has difficulty understanding the passing of time, he understands life and death quite clearly, but Light finds that Ryuk cannot grasp the finer aspects of time. Light supposes it is only natural, after all he hears that in the Shinigami Realm it is the Human World that offers light and not the sun.
Still Light finds it somewhat chilling that this clown faced creature will remain untouched once Light's bones have long since been buried.
Light believes that time no longer runs the same for him, that somehow the notebook has changed him and continues to change him, he feels both older and younger than the men who surround him as if his mind has leaped wildly ahead of his young body. Soon he finds himself disconcerted when he looks into the mirror and sees his childish face and he can't help but wonder where did those years go?
The notebook is old, Light knows this, he can feel it in his fingers that this notebook is far older than anything he can imagine and yet like Ryuk the notebook has a certain ageless quality to it. It will look weathered but it will never crumble, it will feel worn in his hands yet the stitching will never come out, it gives the illusion of age because Light is beginning to think that the notebook is time, and that is why it kills so well.
Light once asked Ryuk why the shinigami chose seconds as their units of counting when the notebook had been around far longer than humans had. He asked who designed the notebook, how did they know, why did they care? He asked a lot of questions but Ryuk only smiled and finally the shinigami said he didn't know the notebook had been created long after all the gods of death were dead.
Light doesn't ask why Ryuk is blatantly lying to him and he doesn't care to find out, he simply has the notebook nothing more.
(It is at this point that Light realizes that time in the Shinigami Realm is far more warped and twisted than he expected)
The Dark Tower
It is said that at the center of existence their rests a dark tower and that both space and time turn about it as if it were the axis in a great wheel. Light has never had any desire to reach this tower but he moves toward it nonetheless, as it is inevitable for all men who wish to be God.
He dies in a warehouse at the hand of his own divine instrument, he climbs the stairs and at the top of the tower he finds his afterlife.
He finds the center of time and the absence of time, he finds Mu.
Author's Note: Well, never thought I'd update this again but here I am. Thanks for reading and reviewing, more reviews would be appreciated.
Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.