A/N: Okay, a one shot about my OC… it is in no way related to the chapter fic I am writing about her… inspired by the Bleach Wiki and my perverted mind! I can hold it in no longer! Even after having the entire upper half of his body exposed (which I enjoyed watching very much) we still don't know where Szayel's hollow hole and Espada tattoo are!!!!

Szayel's Shame

They were sitting at their desks completing some daily paperwork in the boringly sterile, bone white lab of Las Noches.

"Hey, Szayel?"

"Hmm?"

"Where, per chance, is your hollow hole?" He froze, and looked up from his work. She was leaning on her desk looking at him in a sensual way. Ah damn.

"Why do you ask?" He tried hard to keep his voice steady.

"Well, considering you've been ignoring my brother's requests…. And threats… not that I mind, because I don't… sometimes Nnoitra can be a real ass, or pain in the…… it's just… if you're going to court me I think I have the right to know." she finished lamely.

He knew that this was going to come up sooner or later. He sighed. "I'm afraid I can't disclose such," cough, "personal," cough, "information to you at random like this. She glared at him and crossed her arms before going back to proofreading one of the many papers balanced precariously on her desk.

She didn't bring up the topic again, and he didn't remind her of it.


He walked into the lab only to find a disheveled looking Neko pouring over books and papers scattered across her desk… she was muttering to herself.

"Neko, what the hell are you doing?"

"Hmm… so if the radius is that, than the diameter is this and if the location is here…. Grimmjow is incapable of having sex." She stated looking up to face her superior.

"Configuring what his hollow hole has obliterated?"

"Of course, atlases of anatomy are very fun to use and conveniently located here in this very lab."

He decided to bring it up again. "You're not going to let this go are you?"

"Nope!"


This time, he was coming back from another one of Aizen's pointless meetings to find her reading a book whilst sitting on the counter.

"Get your ass off the counter."

"Mhmm,"

"Now."

She glanced up from her book, "and why should I listen to you?"

"Because I am your superior."

"Well, maybe I would be more inclined to listen to you if you were actually a man."

He stormed over to her and inclined her face up towards him so that they had eye contact. "What was that Neko Jiruga?"

"You. Are. Not. A. Man." She clearly annunciated each word, as if speaking to that idiot dolt Wonderweiss.

He narrowed his eyes. "And what makes you say that?"

"Well, obviously your hollow hole has obliterated your p-" She stopped short when she saw the look on his face. He was absolutely livid.

"And you really think that?" It took all of the self control he could muster to keep his voice steady.

"Well, what other reason would you have for not telling me?"

"It's none of your business."

"Fine, be that way." She hopped off the counter, slid the book back onto its proper shelf, and walked away.

He could never win.


Drastic measures…

"Szayel, I told you I don't go that way." He had her pinned against the wall.

"Oh really? You prefer women? Pity…"

"No," she growled. "I prefer men."

"Well then, what's the problem with this?" He asked innocently, leaning into her making them closer than they already were.

"The problem is that you are not a man… or at least down there you aren't." Her eyes traveled downwards as if to prove her point.

"Well, maybe with a little effort, you can be one of the privileged few to have gotten me aroused."

"We all know you don't have a d-" he silenced her by pressing his mouth onto hers, his tongue playing around her lips until she opened her mouth to allow him entrance. As soon as the kiss deepened, however; she pulled away smirking. "Do that again and Nnoitra finds out."


He tied his obi sash and smoothed his hair before turning around, he jumped at the sight of Neko leaning against the doorframe, she looked smug.

"I told you there was a reason you weren't telling me."

He looked mortified. "Y-yo-you w-watched me g-get dressed?!"

"Well, yeah, how was I supposed to find out otherwise?"

"You will speak of this to no one!"

"Speak of what to no one?"

"Of this! This incident!"

"What incident?"

"The one where you watched me get dressed!" He felt his face heating up.

She cocked her head, "when did I do that?"

"Just now!"

"Oh, you mean when I pretended to watch you get dressed to freak the shit out of you?"

"NEKO!!"

"What?"

He slammed her into the wall. "Dammit, if you really want to know, then find out, you will!" She looked up into his eyes, she appeared to be amused.

"Really?"

"Yes really!"

"I should watch you get dressed more often…" she mused.

He looked down at her and felt the heat rushing to his face. "I thought you said you didn't!"

"Hmm… you're right…"

"Well, which is it?!"

"I don't know…"

"Well, then you're going to watch me undress."

She smirked. "I knew you'd do that for me at some point."

He narrowed his eyes. "Oh really?"

"Yes, really."

He dragged her over to the bed and pushed her down, climbing on top of her, "And you're damn well going to enjoy it."


The next day at breakfast, Neko seemed to have an air of knowing something they didn't…. and Nnoitra almost killed Szayel for sleeping with his sister…

A/N: Well? Where do you think it is? :3 Me and my friends always joke about this… I am a pervert!! BWAHAHAHA!!!!!