Just another Saturday night- lounging on my couch with Leah, eating pizza, watching Scrubs reruns. If only.
Nothing's been the same since I became a werewolf. I can't stand keeping this heavy secret from Leah- it's hard to lie to someone you love. But I really can't tell her- I'm bound to keep this secret. Besides, it's probably safer for her this way.
That's not even my biggest problem. Last week, I met Emily Young. I knew all the old stories about imprinting, so I knew what it meant when I started walking toward her like iron drawn to a magnet. A part of me hated talking to her, hated knowing that I could destroy what I had with Leah. Another, seemingly stronger part of me had thrilled in Emily's smile, hated to leave her, and loved her more than anyone else in the entire world.
I was hanging on to that first part.
I hated feeling out-of-control – like I had no power to change what happened in my life. That was one of the reasons I took the werewolf thing so badly. It was also the reason I was refusing to see Emily. I had chosen to be with Leah, not the werewolf Sam. Me. Werewolf Sam found a mate in Emily, and Werewolf Sam could leave and go be with her forever, and leave the real me alone- it would make my life so much easier. Plus, how could I do that to Leah? How could any part of me want to hurt her like that? We were crazy about each other. We talked about "forever" and stuff. I really loved her.
Leah laughed about the show then, and I shook myself out of my depressing thoughts and glanced at the screen. Two of the male characters were hugging. They seemed to do that a lot on this show. Leah glanced up at me and smiled, leaning up to kiss me. I panicked, worrying that we would kiss and I would be thinking of Emily, or that I would jerk away before her lips met mine, disgusted. However, the kiss was mostly normal. The only difference was the urgency beneath the romance, and the feeling that we only had a limited time together.