Don't own anything except this storyline.
Those damn pills.
Mrs Schuester, the so-called 'nurse' somehow neglected to mention the other 'effects' these 'vitamins' gave us.
Let me start at the beginning, and then maybe you'll understand why it is I'm never taking those 'vitamins' again.
It was after the mash-up. We all knew Kurt would rat us out to the girls, as he was, for exception of certain body parts, essentially a female.
Though, we didn't really care, as we knew we would kick their asses anyway. Well, I didn't really care. Puck was banging on about how he was going to double slushy Kurt the next day at school, and the others made no objection. It was only after I spoke up that he shut up.
"Hey, lay off, we're going to win anyway. It doesn't matter that--"
"What the fuck man!?" Puck interjected. "He went behind our backs and told the chicks our secret! We're screwed!"
We were still a little hyped, and Puck, having a chest that had doubly the amount of muscle I had, was not to be tested. I simply shrugged. Puck muttered something.
"What was that?" He looked up at me.
"I said you're a fuckin' fag for Kurt." I rounded on him angrily, but then looked away, thinking better of it.
"I'm not." I said simply. I really wasn't. Really. I totally wasn't thinking about Kurt. I so wasn't thinking about his eyes, his cute little nose, his lips...
Oh shit. Cute? Lips? Not a good combo. Shit.
I shook my head. No.
But when I couldn't get those images out of my head, I blamed it on the pills. They were making me antsy, and the reason it was for Kurt was because we were just talking about him. Yes. That was it.
I turned my head to swiftly change the subject and discuss football with Puck, but he was already gone.
After a few more minutes of trying to frantically stop thinking about the things I wanted - no! The things my hard-on wanted - to do to Kurt, I came across an enchanting feminine sound floating through the air, cut off by the chatter of people who weren't paying attention. But I could hear it.
Soft, beautiful singing was coming from the auditorium. Instantly I knew who it was, but I lingered outside the door just to hear that sound a little longer; interrupting such pleasantries was foolish.
When I heard that it had stopped, I edged slowly into the room, eyes falling upon that which was making that sweet music, and, as I had easily guessed, it was Kurt.
I pulled my bag strap a little tighter over my shoulder, took a deep breath, and walked forward. Kurt was looking through a pile of what looked to be paper with scribbled sheet music - Kurt could write music? Wow.. I mean, whatever - and sighing, fiddling with his hair the way he does with his free hand. How cute..
I was too lazy to attempt to explain why it was cute. Pills. Whatever.
When I reached a safe distance behind him, I uttered an energetic 'hi!' at which he jumped violently, scattering papers everywhere.
Damnit! I hadn't meant to be so loud, I was just a little too eager to strike up a conversation. Kurt bent down quickly, picking up the sheets with trembling hands and muttering a soft 'hello' in the process. Evidently, the effects of the pills had worn off, damn him.
I chucked my bag on the floor some distance away - there was only class notes and a couple of pens in there, they didn't matter - and got down on my knees to help Kurt gather up the papers. He stuttered his discouragement, mumbling something about how he was fine and didn't need help, but I ignored him.
I tried my best to be courteous and not read the doodles, the hearts, the little F's, the K's love F's, but I couldn't. While Kurt was distracted and not looking, I tucked a particular sheet which had caught my eye into my pocket. Once everything was collected up and put back on the piano they were upon once before, I stood up. Minutes, which could of been hours, passed in silence, simply gazing at each other. My dull brown eyes looked into his beautiful icy blue-grey ones.
I had abandoned all attempts at explaining every word I had in my head to describe him; beautiful, adorable, delicate, precious.
After what seemed like an age, I jumped into to speech, making Kurt flinch slightly.
"I have to go to the bathroom! I'll be back ok?" Kurt gave a quick nod, looking down at his feet, before I turned tail and walked very swiftly towards the door, stumbling over my bag. I thought I heard a small giggle as I left.
I actually did go to the bathroom, just not to pee. Checking and making sure absolutely no-one was in there, I pulled out the paper and looked it over, my heart nearly bursting out of my chest.
The lyrics were so well written, so wonderful, so different, so beautiful. I was running out of words to describe Kurt and the things he did; there were simply not enough words in the dictionary. 'K loves F' was written in slanted, swirly writing, and next to it was drawn a little heart. I looked over to each corner, each saying the same thing and each having that same little heart drawn next to it. I saw my name everywhere, usually encased in a star or heart.
I felt a massive grin spread over my face. I knew I looked utterly goofy, but I didn't care. This schoolboy crush was just too much. I had heard rumors before, but never had confirmation, until now. What was I going to do though?
I wanted him so much. I couldn't be bothered to deny it anymore. I wanted to feel that small body beneath my fingertips, I wanted to see him moan and writhe from my doing, I wanted to touch--
I shook my head violently. That was enough. If I actually carried out any of my desires on this boy, this delicate, fragile, sweet boy, who deserved no sadness or discomfort, I would regret it later.
Later, when the pills had worn off. Later, when I realised what I had done and winced at thought, disgusted at myself. Later, when I'd ignore Kurt, or even help the guys bully him, he'd be heartbroken. I could already see the hurt spreading over that cute face, could already see the months of pain that poor kid would have to go through and it made my heart sting and my gut ache and my throat hurt.
I blinked back the tears that threatened to fall as I thought of him crying.. that would kill me.
Suppose I did go through with this. Suppose I did do the things I'm desperate to do. Suppose I kept doing them? What would happen then? If I was with Kurt, properly with Kurt, as a boyfriend, how long would I have to go through the torment of name calling and slushy facials and a popularity rating of about minus a million. I was already on the fence between unpopular and popular, and this would be enough to shove me two or three fences down and over.
What if I don't care? my brain interjected.
I spent hours in that bathroom, sitting by the wall on the floor. My butt got sore and a little wet, and people kept looking at me strangely, but I didn't care. Some even asked if I was alright, and I just waved them away. I was too focused on the sheet in front of my eyes and my procrastination over what to do.
I stood up. I had made up my mind. I would keep taking the pills. That way, I would be too hyped up to ignore insults from people, and I would be able to continue this thing with Kurt without consequence of my feelings.
Odd.. I feel... normal. Not tired, not awake, and certainly not hyped. The effects had worn off - I was free!
I tested myself. I closed my eyes, and pictured Quinn naked - it wasn't that hard, I'd peeped at her before - and I twitched a little in excitement. I took a deep breath, then thought of Kurt. With clothes. And already I was hard as rock.
Shit. I'm fucked. Damnit, and just after I'd made up my mind!
Ok, ok. I calmed myself, and walked confidently out the door, deciding that wherever my mind and body and heart will take me is where I'm meant to be.
I wasn't surprised to find myself back in the auditorium. It was quiet. Everyone had gone home, even the teachers. Shit, was it really that late? Kurt was just getting up, apparently scolding himself for even thinking I'd come back. He'd waited all that time, just for me? He really cared for me that much? It was beginning to seem a lot less like a little crush and more like...
I inched towards him guiltily, mumbling a 'hi' to him. Kurt didn't jump this time. His eyes just widened, and he looked at me in disbelief.
"I.. I didn't think you'd come back..." He looked like he was itching to run over to me and hug me. I held out the paper to him bashfully.
"H-here, this.. this uh.." I tried to think of a lame excuse. "This was er.. stuck to erm..." He cut me off by snatching the paper away from me, blushing so deeply I could feel the heat coming from his cheeks.
"Finn, you jerk!" He looked at me angrily and started having a little hissy fit, stomping his feet about angrily looking positively adorable. "I can't believe this, you.. you! You took this paper and read it didn't you!? You took it to show to Puck and those other assholes and laugh about me didn't you?! You--"
I snickered a little and grinned widely. "You're so damn cute..."
"--Are such an ass--!" Kurt stopped in his tracks, one of his feet still in the air. It was hard not to laugh at how comical he looked. I kept a straight face. Very slowly, after what seemed like a century, he lowered his foot and turned his face towards me, the shock evident on his feminine features. I suddenly found myself scratching my head awkwardly and shifting slightly from foot to foot.
"Err.. well.. you know.. you're cute... er.." He walked swiftly over to me until he was right in front of me looking up into my face sternly.
Oh Lordy! I had to fight, hard, with myself to stop myself from leaping forward and ravishing the small Glee member.
"Say it again. With a straight face... right now. Say it honestly.. don't you be joking with me.. please..." I saw his adamant expression waver a little as he begged me not to play around with his feelings. After a few long seconds, my hand jerked upwards towards his face, and he flinched. I kicked myself for being so quick and forceful - I forgot just how tiny he was. Slower this time, I raised my hand to his hair, and brushed it softly with my fingertips.
Lips parted and eyes glossy, Kurt let out a long slow breath, as though he had be waiting for this moment forever. My fingers slid slowly down the side of his face, savouring the smoothness of that flawless skin, and finally understanding the regime he went through with skin products. Eventually I reached his chin, and, curling my fingers under it, I tilted his head up to look right into my eyes.
"You're so damn cute." I repeated, this time with all the seriousness I could muster. And then I kissed him. It was gentle and actually felt really nice. When Kurt had gotten over the suddenness of my actions, he reciprocated. Enthusiastically.
He flung his arms around my neck, finding that he had to reach quite a far way up and stand on his toes. I wrapped my arms gingerly around his tiny waist and stoked his back softly. He let out a little sigh into my mouth, which I will admit, was very arousing.
When we finally broke apart, Kurt slowly came down from his toes and winced a little.
"Ouch.. you're too tall." I blinked, expecting some other kind of reaction, before laughing. He pouted. I smiled.
"Maybe you wanna, um, go sit over there on the um, stairs?" I asked sheepishly. Kurt looked up at me, looking so pretty and flushed, and nodded.
When we got to the stairs, I was just about to kiss him again when he spoke up, jarring my movements and halting them. I coughed and hoped he hadn't seen how dumb I'd looked.
"Why..?" He asked quietly. I looked at him, confused.
"Why what..?" He licked his lips, staring at the floor.
"Why are you doing this? Being so sweet to me.. kissing me... why..? Is it because you've been having weird feelings and you want to test them out on someone you know won't say no?"
"Well.. yes about the weird feelings part.." Kurt inhaled sharply and gulped. He looked like he was going to cry. "But," I uttered quickly, choosing my words carefully. "Not about the testing part.. I mean..." I took a deep breath.
"Listen Kurt.. I.. I heard rumors around the school that you liked me--"
"Don't what..?" I answered, a little irritated at the interruption.
"I don't just like you," he turned his head to me, smiling sadly. "I love you. I'm deeply, madly, obsessively in love with you."
That hit me like a kick in the guts. Love..? God, I knew it was a crush, but.. love? I opened my mouth, about to ask him if he was sure, but the look on his face shut me up.
He was sure.
We both looked at the floor. I wanted to tell him I reciprocated his feelings of love, but I just wasn't sure.
"I like you." I said after a while.
"That's not enough."
I looked over at him and stroked his hair. He didn't object, but didn't make any kind of response either. I started getting a little frustrated. It wasn't my fault that I wasn't completely sure if I swung that way, or if I was bi - which seemed likely to me - or if this was just some random feeling.
"Oh screw it!" I'd waited long enough. I pulled his face towards mine and pressed my lips against his passionately, causing him to squeak in surprise. Realising how rough I was being, I withdrew quickly, cursing myself.
I didn't even notice him leave my side. My hands, which were knotted together under my chin, were encased in his own warmth. I looked up, and he was standing before me. He slowly and cautiously moved to sit on my lap, to which I made no objection and smiled at me.
And that was it for me. I pulled him close to me, kissing him haphazardly all over, his lips, his cheeks, his neck. The softness of his skin was unbelievable. When I was at his neck, nibbling and licking and kissing the soft flesh there, he tilted his head upwards to give me easy access. I took advantage of this, and sucked, hard, just below his jaw. He let out a gasp and squeezed with his thighs, his hands shaking a little as they grasped my hair.
When I had completed my mission, he slowly looked down at me.
"You know you totally just gave me a hickey."
"I know. That was the idea." I grinned at him before once again smashing our lips together. I barely registered what my hands were doing, and before I knew it, Kurt was free of his trousers and his boxers which thankfully had buttons.
"W-wait..!" He stuttered, only just realising what I'd done and blushing furiously at me seeing him exposed. It wasn't as weird as I thought it would be. "What are you do--ooh! Ohh..!" His eyes scrunched up and he gripped my hair right at the roots, as I started stroking him rather fast, caring not for a build up. He didn't seem to mind either.
He bucked his hips and pushed himself into my hand, making little moans and sighs and squeals, occasionally calling out my name until he came, shouting a stream of curses and my name and releasing himself all over my hand and shirt.
After a few minutes of holding him tight to me and frenzied pants, we finally addressed the matter at hand: my shirt.
"I-I'm sorry.." Kurt blushed and looked away, but not before adding. "Though it's not like that totally unfashionable shirt could get any worse anyway.."
I snorted. He laughed.
When we had cleaned up - I had to put my football jacket on and do it up to cover the 'yoghurt' stains on my shirt, as would be explained to my mother - we stood awkwardly looking at each other.
Kurt looked at his watch. "Oh crap! My dad's gonna kill me, its so late! I've got to go! Bye." He kissed my lips quickly before adding in a whisper, "Don't forget this, ok? Remind me to pay you back..." He grinned before he scurried away. He almost made it to the door before I called out to him. He turned around.
"Well.. ur..." What I wanted to say was going to be harder than I thought. "I love you." I said.
Actually, it wasn't that hard. It came out easily. Kurt's eyes bugged out of his head before he squealed and burst into song. "I honestly love you."
I smiled. He grinned. Then did a sort of victory dance out the door, singing 'Oh Happy Days'. I laughed a little. After an age of watching where he had just been, I jumped back to life with an exclamation of 'oh shit!' and ran outside.
Ok, so maybe it wasn't the pills.
It was Kurt.
Please review. x