1 Passion and Pain

"Remember how I decided that I wanted you to not ignore my birthday?"

"Yes."

"Well, I was thinking, since it's still my birthday, that I'd like you to kiss me again."

"You're greedy tonight."

"Yes, I am – but please, don't do anything you don't want to do," I added, piqued.

He laughed, and then sighed. "Heaven forbid that I should do anything I don't want to do," he said in a strangely desperate tone as he put his hand under my chin and pulled my face up to his.

We started slowly, but our usual routine changed when his hands wound into my hair. Something clicked and we both needed to be closer to each other. It wasn't just lust or love but an essential need. Even though what had happened earlier was nothing huge for me, that feeling that something could have happened, the fear of losing each other, was there. This fear mingled with the desperate need. We couldn't let go of each other. My hands roamed through his hair, my legs wrapped around his waist. Kisses and caresses mingled as clothes started to disappear. My warm body trembled at the feel of his bare skin. He groaned quietly, desperately, and tried to pull away but my arms and legs held him not unwillingly captive.

"I can't…" He started but I kissed him.

"We shouldn't…"

My lips glided over his neck. "Edward. Please."

He paused, torn and tortured.

"Please. Please." I begged, "Just give in."

And he did.

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me."

"You…don't…want me?"

"No."

"Don't do this."

"This will be the last time you'll see me…It will be as if I'd never existed."

He's gone. He's gone. He's gone.

The waves of pain that had only lapped at me before now reared high up and washed over my head, pulling me under.

I did not resurface.