A/N: It's the much anticipated (at least by me) second part of the Akatsuki Horror Series. To anyone who read the previous installment (Akatsuki Horror Series: Alice of Human Sacrifice, if you haven't read it, please go to my profile and read it and review, pretty please?! *on her knees and begging*), you should note that the stories aren't related but they are both based on Vocaloid songs. This one is based on the song 'Conchita, the Epicurean Daughter of Evil' by the Vocaloid Meiko Sakarine (and yes, that is Meiko's official last name). If you know the song, great! But I, being the yaoi fan-girl that I am, had to add a few twists. So here we go!

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto, Vocaloid, or anything but my ideas.

Now, as everybody in America sits down to enjoy their luscious Holiday dinners with their loved ones, please, take this story in consideration.


Akatsuki Horror Series: The Ballad of Zetsu Conchita

"Over the teeth and past the gums,

Watch out stomach, here it comes!"

-Anonymous

"Would you two hurry up?! My clothes are getting soaked!" Sai yelled as he ran towards a large tree to get shelter from the bad weather that had suddenly rolled in. Sasuke Uchiha and Naruto Uzumaki finally trudged their ways over to the tree where the short-haired brunette stood, slightly shivering. Naruto shook himself, much like a dog would, before asking,

"Where are we going to stay tonight guys? I don't think that we can make it to the next hostel through this weather." The pale brunette and the pale navy-blunette looked at each other quietly. This trip was slowly turning into a disaster. The three teenagers (Sasuke, Sai, and Naruto) were university students back in their native Japan. Every year, Sasuke and Sai took some trip to some random part of the world, seeing as they were cousins and such. Sasuke was majoring in photography and Sai in art, so they had an excuse to travel. So this year, when they decided to go to Spain, they decided to take their love Naruto along. And yes, their love.

"Don't worry, Koi." Sai cooed, walking over to the shaking blonde, "I'll find somewhere nice and warm for us to rest up at and..."

"We." Sasuke stated sternly. "We'll find somewhere nice and warm for us to rest up." Naruto rolled his eyes and took a couple of steps away. He loved having two boyfriends. The birthdays and Christmases were great now that he had people to spend them with (sure, he had friends, but they would always be gone around those times) and the sex was none short of amazing. But the two always had to conflict about something. Sometimes the testosterone levels in their dorm back home would rise so much that Naruto would have to leave while the two sorted out their differences. As the yells of 'Moron' and 'Dickless' came up, the blonde sighed before going to the other side of the tree.

"I just wanted a nice vacation and..." Blue eyes looked up as he saw something in the distance. It looked like... "Is that a castle?" Naruto asked, and the two cousins finally stopped their bickering long enough to walk over and see what their lover was talking about.

"Hm. It does look like a castle." Sai murmured. Sasuke scoffed,

"Why would a castle be all the way out here? It's probably just a mansion or something." The Navy-blunette picked up his backpack and continued, "But either way, let's go and see what the hell it is. Maybe they'll be kind enough to let us in until the rain lets up." They all agreed and quickly ran towards the direction of the large building.


"In your face, Sasuke!" Was the first thing that came out of Sai's mouth when the trio arrived at the large door in front of the building. It was a giant rustic castle with an elegant Spanish flair to it. It was colored a deep mahogany and viridian and was surrounded with what used to be a garden but what was now brown and black foliage. Sasuke scoffed,

"Well excuse me, princess!"(1) Sai frowned. "It just seems odd that there would be a castle here in the middle of Spain's country-side and that the map wouldn't say anything about it." Sasuke brought out his laptop and brought up the map he had downloaded before the trip. Sai sighed,

"You and your damn laptop. Can you go anywhere without that thing?"

"Why should I?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow in response. Naruto shook his head. Here they go again, about something that shouldn't even be argued about. Naruto sighed and reached a hand towards the door-knob. However, when his hand touched the cold metal, something shot through his mind.

"Now… I'll eat them all!!!"

Naruto immediately jumped back, as if something had burned him. This finally snapped the two cousins out of their growing argument. "Dobe, what is it?" Sasuke asked when he saw the look of shock on the blonde's face. Naruto was quiet for a second, trying to figure out exactly what had just happened. But soon, he just shook his head and smiled,

"Nothing, just cold is all." Sai smiled,

"Then let's go in, Koi. If someone does live here, they show up after we get inside." And with that, all three of the teens pushed the heavy doors. The heavy, forest-green doors slowly groaned opened and the three teens walked in.

Everything inside was covered in a thick veil of dust: from the furniture, to the marble floors, to the chandelier, covered in melted wax from past candles, that hung from the ceiling. "Someone sure hasn't paid the house-keeper in a while." Naruto commented, looking around the vast main room.

"Dobe, it's obviously an abandoned castle. Everyone's probably long gone… or dead." Naruto flinched.

"D-Dead?" Sai scoffed and walked in further, stating,

"Sasuke, don't scare Naruto with your emo view on things. This place was obviously just… just…" Sai trailed off and took a deep breath, immediately sputtering and coughing from doing so. "What the hell?!" He gasped. Sasuke and Naruto ran over and immediately saw what Sai was retching about. Or rather smelled.

"Sasuke..?" Naruto whined, covering his nose. Sasuke followed the blonde's example and covered his nose and mouth. Sadly, the navy blunette recognized the smell.

"Rotten flesh?" He questioned to no one in particular.

The Apostate Castle smells so very rotten…

Something clicked in Sasuke's mind and he walked to the center of the room and looked around. Sai and Naruto simply looked on as a smile slowly grew on the navy-blunette's face. Sasuke turned around once more and then asked, "Guys, do you know where we are?" Naruto shook his head but Sai walked over and looked around. Naruto followed and asked,

"What is it, where are we? Guys, answer me!" Sai shivered but Sasuke kept on smiling as the artist replied,

"The Apostate Castle… We're in… the Apostate Castle…" Naruto asked, still confused.

"The what castle?" Sasuke finally spoke up,

"Remember when we went to that Vocaloid concert, Dobe?(2)" Naruto had to think for a while but nodded slowly. "The first song that Meiko sang, what was it called?" Naruto hummed as he tried to remember. That had been a wild night, he had been ecstatic that Sasuke had gotten Vocaloid tickets for all three of them. But what was Sasuke getting at? The song was…

"'Conchita the Epicurean Daughter of Evil'?" Sasuke nodded and continued, bringing out his laptop and turning it on.

"Right. Dobe, did you know..." He turned on the photography-program that he had installed for all of his traveling. "That that song was based on true events?" Naruto started to shiver at this point but Sasuke, being the dedicated photographer began to take pictures of his surroundings and continued his explanation. "Only Conchita wasn't a woman…" There was a gasp from the nearby hallway. Sasuke and Naruto walked over to where the noise originated and found Sai almost petrified.

"Sai!" Naruto exclaimed, "What is it?" Sai quietly pointed a finger in front of himself and the other teens looked at what he pointing at. Sasuke gasped and Naruto's blue eyes widened as he saw what Sai had seen. It was a large painted picture of two people in front of a castle that looked a lot like the one they were in. One of them looked very young with palish skin, wide brown eyes, short, ruffled black hair and they wore a red and green gown while sitting on a golden chair. The figure looked calm but very scared; almost flinching under the hand that was touching them. The other figure, standing next to the first, was a tall, lean man with short-cut green hair, dressed in a fine green suit and he looked down on the teens with a stern frown and hungry yellow eyes. "Who are they? I like the dress…"

Sasuke looked at the bottom of the painting and saw an golden engraving that read,

"El Maestro Zetsu Conchita y Su Novia Tobi." Naruto raised an eyebrow and said,

"And for those of us who don't know Spanish?"

"'The Master Zetsu Conchita and his Bride Tobi.'" Sai translated, still shaken up. Naruto jumped up, turned to Sasuke and gasped,

"Wait, Sasuke, can we get out of here? I really think that Sai needs some help and…" As Naruto went on about how they should get out of the castle, he didn't notice Sai rising up, as silent as a panther, and grabbing Naruto's shoulders. "AAAHHH!!!" Naruto must have jumped twice the length of the hall in one bound, he was so scared! Sai stood up and he and Sasuke burst into peals of laughter at their blonde lover's reaction.

"Koi…" Sai panted between laughs, "Honestly, you need to learn to relax!" Sasuke added,

"Yeah, ha ha, Dobe! Lighten up!" Naruto watched incredulously as his two boyfriends laughed at him. He almost went into one of his signature rages, but he didn't. He just stood up, wiped his clothes off and frowned,

"That wasn't very nice. Stupid bastards and their pranks..." He walked back towards the main room through the hall and saw another large painting.

Meanwhile, Sai sighed, "Great... Now he's mad at us." Sasuke scoffed,

"You're sounding like it's all my fault. Anyway, I..." Sasuke stopped mid-sentence and took a picture of the painting. He looked at the picture on his lap-top then the painting on the wall and then asked, "Was that there before?" Sai raised an eyebrow,

"What?" Sasuke walked up to the painting and ran his fingers along something. As Sai looked closely, the something turned out to be numbers. "8/21..." He read what was written in fine black ink across Tobi's chest. Then, Sasuke raised the light of his laptop to Zetsu's side and saw what looked like scratch-marks. But it was actually another number.

"9/15?"

"What does that mean?" Sai asked but then Naruto's voice rang out from down the hall,

"Hey! Can you guys come over here? I need a translation!" The two cousins followed Naruto's voice until they saw the blonde staring at another painting. This one, still in front of the Apostate Castle, was of two men. One tall and muscular, with messy blue hair, piercing black eyes and wore a white suit with a matching apron. The other was shorter than the first, with pale skin, long, black hair, serene brown eyes, and wore a red suit while holding a book. "Well Teme..." Naruto began, "What does it say?" Sasuke looked at the bottom of the painting and read the inscription.

" El Jefe de Cocina Kisame y el Consejero Itachi." Naruto growled,

"Again with the Spanish, Sasuke?" Sai translated,

"'The Chef Kisame and the Advisor Itachi'." Naruto nodded and turned away from the painting as Sasuke took another picture. The navy-blunette then saw more numbers. Across Kisame, someone wrote, '6/17', and on Itachi they wrote, '12/6'. Just then, Naruto found one last painting and called over,

"Here's another one!" When they all looked at it, they saw a man with short red hair, and calm brown eyes, wearing a black and white suit. Then, on his side, what looked like a long, blonde-haired girl with bright, azure eyes, wearing a black and white dress. Sasuke took a picture before he read and translated,

"'The Butler Sasori and the Maid Deidara'." Sai looked closely at the painting and saw more numbers.

"1/13..." Was on Sasori and "6/25.", was on Deidara. Naruto stretched out and yawned, asking,

"So, did they work here or something?" Sasuke nodded and walked back to the first picture that they saw.

"And they were all under the reign of one Zetsu Conchita."


"So, here's the plan." Sasuke stated, rolling out his own sleeping bag on the floor of the main room. "We spend the night here and leave first thing in the morning. Hopefully we'll make it to the next hostel by then." Sai and Naruto nodded and then Sasuke brought out a portable lantern and turned it on, hoping that it would provide a little bit of warmth. "So, I guess that's good night then." Sasuke laid back and started to try and fall asleep. Soon, they were all trying to follow Sasuke's example but after so many tosses and turns, Naruto sat up and whispered,

"Guys..." No response.

"Guys..!" Silence.

"I know you assholes aren't asleep already, so wake up!!" Both brunettes sat up, groaning and mumbling.

"Koi, what is it now?" Naruto sighed and tilted his head back so that he was looking at the ceiling.

"I can't sleep." He stated, matter-of-factly. Sasuke and Sai sighed. From personal experience back at their university, they both knew that if Naruto couldn't sleep, then no one could. Sai thought for a while and then smirked, asking,

"Koi, do you want to hear a story?" Naruto beamed and got closer to the two, cheering,

"Woo, bedtime story!" Sasuke silently raised an eyebrow towards his cousin but Sai just mouthed the words, 'Follow my lead.' Sasuke then let a smirk grow on his face as he made himself comfortable. Sai began,

"A long time ago in Spain, there was a grand castle by the name of Apostate..."


The day when Maestro Orochimaru Conchita passed away from this world was a solemn day for those who only looked at the main picture. There was a grand funeral service at the Verde Cathedral and everyone was heartbroken.

Or at least, tried to be.

This could be said especially for the four men in the front row of pews, right next to the open-faced coffin. Kisame Hoshigaki, Head-Chef for the Conchita estate for ten years, held a look of sullen indifference as the Priest said the funeral rites.

Itachi Uchiha, Assistant/Advisor to the late Orochimaru, never had a problem not showing any emotion. So why should he start now?

Sasori Akasuna, Head-Butler, was doing nothing more than silently waiting for the service to end while showing brief glimpses of what appeared to be grief at proper moments.

Deidara Azumoji, Head-Maid, was the only one out of the four who had shed a single tear during this occasion. Whether it was real or not... Was anybody's guess.

---

Finally, at the end of the day, when Orochimaru had been cremated and his ashes placed in the Conchita family tomb and all the guests had left. Did the atmosphere lighten up some. Deidara had just finished taking the dishes from the after-service dinner to the kitchen and sat down at the table. He sighed,

"Are they gone yet, Sasori?" Sasori had finished sending off the last of the guests and he called back,

"Yes. Finally, hey where are Kisame and Itachi?" Deidara sighed, standing up and stretching his cramping limbs,

"Who knows, I..." Suddenly,

"He's gone!" A deep voice cheered from the basement. Sasori and Deidara smiled as Kisame came up with three bottles of wine and a joyous smile on his face. "Deidara, go get us some glasses so we can celebrate!" Deidara nodded and ran to the kitchen. Sasori looked to Kisame, saying,

"I never thought I'd live to see the day." Kisame sat down in a chair and nodded,

"I know what you mean. It seemed like that tyrant was never going to die but now..."

"Now he's gone and we're going to enjoy this one night of peace." Itachi stated as he walked down the staircase. The former advisor slumped into a chair. "I know that I should feel sad, but..." Sasori interjected,

"Don't feel bad, Itachi. Anyone who said that they will miss that man is lying through their teeth." Soon, Deidara came back with the glasses and they all began to pass the wine around and enjoy themselves. It wasn't long before Deidara was out like a light (after three glasses), and Itachi was dozing off on Kisame's shoulder while trying to keep his balance (after three and a half glasses). Kisame and Sasori were still having pleasant conversation, albeit a bit slurred after glass number 6. "So Kissame?"

"Hm?"

"Are you going to --hic-- leave Apostate now?"

"Hmm..." Kisame sat his glass down and thought for a while. Then he stated, "No. I'm still sunder the ervice... Excuse me, 'under the service' of the Conchitas. So I have to see if any of them move in." Sasori blinked twice before asking,

"But... aren't most of them... dead?" Itachi moaned, trying to raise his head,

"The parents but not the children...", then sat on the floor and promptly began to fall asleep. Kisame nodded. He had remembered when Orochimaru's wife, Kabuto, had died. Hell, he had the scars from when Orochimaru went on one of his sorrow-induced rampages to prove it. Then it seemed as if, one by one, the Maestro's brother, sister, and other brother had all died off until it was Orochimaru's turn. Kisame smiled softly and shook his head; he was going to be eternally grateful to Orochimaru's horse for doing the one thing that everyone else was afraid to do. Sasori drank the last of the last bottle of wine before stating,

"I'm going to bed. I might as well take this one," He pointed to the sleeping Deidara, "To get some sleep as well. Buenas noches." Kisame yawned back the phrase and sat back in his chair. He was indeed happy that Orochimaru was gone, that bastard who had taken him from his family just to be his Head-Chef, but something in the back of his mind wanted to say that it could have been worse.

And worse it would get.


"Hold on a second!" Naruto called out, interrupting Sai's story. Sai blinked,

"Yes Koi?"

"This isn't going to be one of your scary stories like the one you and Sasuke told me a year ago and I couldn't go into a bathroom at night by myself for a month?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow towards Sai and the artist shook his head,

"I have no idea what you're talking about Naruto. But, shall I continue?" Naruto huffed but nodded nonetheless.


"Surely you jest?" Kisame asked as the town book-keeper was leaving the castle. The book-keeper, Kakuzu was his name, sighed and shook his head.

"I wish I was. Orochimaru left everything he had to his nephew, Zetsu Conchita, and he'll be here with his wife around..." Kakuzu took out a golden pocket-watch and looked at it. "An hour from now, give or take."

"What?!" Kisame shouted incredulously. "How in the hell did he know to come so soon?!" Kakuzu got to the front door and stated,

"Orochimaru had me send a copy of his will to his nephew a month ago. It was as if..." Kakuzu trailed off. Kisame asked,

"As if?" Kakuzu took a deep breath,

"It was as if he knew that he was going to die, Kisame." Kisame turned away and tried to sort through the thoughts that were racing through his mind.

'How could he have possibly..?'

"Kisame." Kakuzu's voice rang out, jarring the chef's attention. Kisame looked up and saw Kakuzu handing a letter to him. "He asked me to give you this. I haven't read it so I can't exactly tell you what it is, so please don't ask me." Kisame nodded and took the letter. "Farewell." Kakuzu said as he walked out of the building. Kisame closed the door, frowning heavily. He was about to call everyone to tell them the news but his curiosity about the letter go to him and he opened it. He recognized the late Conchita's hand-writing instantly.

'Kisame,

As you probably have already noted by this point in time, unless you're still as simple as the day I requested you for my services, I am no longer of this world. I truly do not wish to waste any of the few moments that I have left writing a bunch of nonsense so I will be brief. Your service to the Conchita Family is, as of right now, over. It's done. That's it. I know that you are probably confused as to why I would do such a thing.

My nephew Zetsu, the one who inherits the Apostate Castle, is quite the... eccentric individual. His tastes are... Quite strange. And even when I say that, I'm barely scratching the surface. Look, I'll be as frank as my old mind allows:

LEAVE!

The others are still indebted to the Conchitas so their fate is sealed but I leave you a small amount of money under the floor-boards of your quarters. Hmph... However, knowing your stubborn nature and the fact that you are engaged to my Advisor (yes, I knew), you probably won't heed my words.

It's your funeral. At least now I can go burn in Hell, like you used to tell me so often, with a clean conscience.

Farewell,

Orochimaru Conchita

Kisame was stunned. That old tyrant had actually left him something?! But wait, what was that about Zetsu being strange? It didn't matter. Kisame was engaged to Itachi and as soon as Itachi worked off his debt of two more years in this castle, they were leaving for Barcelona. Kisame frowned and folded the letter and put it into his pocket. "At least the money will help." He then called out, "Itachi! Sasori! Deidara! We have to get this place spotless immediately!!"

---

The four stood outside the castle doors, waiting for their new employer to arrive. Kisame had yet to share the contents of Orochimaru's letter with them, but he was nonetheless more anxious about what the late Conchita had said. 'He must be quite the oddity if Orochimaru addressed me personally about him.' A few minutes later, the sound of hooves could be heard, clacking heavily against the road towards the castle.

"Here he comes..." Sasori muttered. Then, they could all see the green and black carriage drawn by a single copper-shaded mare rushing towards the castle at a high speed. When it finally stopped, it was in front of the door and the four servants. It was a few moments before the door opened. Out walked a young man with short, green hair and calm, yellow eyes.

"Buenos Dias." The four said as they bowed. The man appeared not to notice them as he turned and held out a hand towards the inside of the carriage.

"Come on Tobi." He said, voice calm with just a bit of irritation mixed in. Slowly, a green-gloved hand reached out just a little bit and the man pulled with vim. Out tumbled a small, pale individual dressed in a green gown. They had short black hair and wide brown eyes that snapped shut once the figure fell to the ground. Upon seeing the small young man on the ground, Zetsu rolled his eyes and stated, in that calm but irritated voice, "Get up from there. You're making a mess of your clothes." Tobi immediately stood up and replied,

"Yes Zetsu." Itachi decided to get things over with and walked to the two, stating,

"Welcome to Apostate Castle, Maestro Conchita. I hope that..." No sooner had Itachi began speaking, did Zetsu bypass him and walk up to the other three. He looked at all of them before asking,

"Which one of you is my chef?" Kisame took a step forward.

"That would be me, Maestro." Zetsu looked at Kisame for a while before smiling slightly. Kisame flinched, immediately deciding that Zetsu's smile was a most unnerving sight.

"Bueno. Come. I'm hungry and I want to see if you have what it takes to be my chef." Zetsu stated and let himself into the castle. Once the Conchita was in, everyone sighed in relief.

"That was torture, un." Deidara sighed, letting his muscles relax from all the tension that had occurred with the first meeting.

"You're telling me! Dios mio, he didn't even do anything and he's so intimidating!" Sasori panted. Itachi was still standing in the same spot where Zetsu had ignored him. He whispered,

"Did I do something wrong already?!" Just then, Tobi walked up. Wide brown eyes looked up at Itachi and the younger stated,

"No you didn't. Zetsu is just. . ."

"TOBI!" Zetsu's voice yelled from inside the castle. Tobi jolted immediately and ran in, following the man's call.

---

"After all that hard work and he didn't even look around the place, un." Deidara muttered angrily. Zetsu had immediately taken a seat at the grand dining table in the grand dining-hall of the castle, not even sparing a glance to anything else. Upon being comfortably seated, he commanded everyone except Kisame to sit at the table with him. Then he stated,

"Prepare five of your best dishes and have them in front of me on this table in an hour." Kisame bowed slightly but thought,

'An hour? He's gracious with time, that's for sure...' He then left for the kitchen.

Thirty minutes had passed and the atmosphere of the dining-room was tense: no one said a word or even looked at the young Conchita. Zetsu, on the other hand, simply toyed around with the cutlery; made the fork and spoon dance with each other, which Itachi had to admit was a bit odd. Suddenly, Zetsu groaned softly and rubbed the temples of his head as if he had a headache.

"Maestro, are you alright..?" Itachi began but something made him stop. Rather, someone. Tobi slightly tapped his fingers on the table and shook his head. Before anyone could question the strange behavior, however, Kisame came back to the dining room pushing a cart that had five large covered plates on it. Upon seeing the chef arrive, Zetsu smiled and said,

"Well, hurry up!" Kisame silently scoffed but went ahead and placed all the plates on the table. Still no one moved. The blue-haired chef removed the cover of the plate that was closest to Zetsu, revealing a bowl of steaming, white broth. Zetsu took a sniff... Then frowned... Then asked, a bit of anger in his voice, "What is this?" Kisame answered,

"It is my finest White Soup made with the milk of the goats from the town monastery." Kisame had been used to running all the way across town and back getting the ingredients for one of Orochimaru's favorite dishes. It was one of the few things in this world that the prior Conchita didn't despise. Zetsu, however, gazed at the soup for a long moment before dipping one of his fingers in. He swirled it around languorously before retreating it. Zetsu brought the finger to his lips and gave a tiny lick at it.

Everyone was silent, especially Kisame and Tobi.

Finally, Zetsu opened his eyes and stated "Disgusting.", before promptly knocking the dish to a shattering end on the floor with a sweep of his hand. Everyone was shocked. In all their years no one had even the slightest bit of disdain for Kisame's food. Tobi silently shook his head at the scene that was taking place. It had happened too many times before. Kisame wanted to protest, he really did, but he didn't want to be rude.

"I apologize." He stated before bringing the second dish. He removed the cover to show a succulent roasted-pig with the apple still in its mouth, surrounded by steaming vegetables. "Hopefully this will be more to your liking, Maestro, I..." There was another shatter, causing Kisame to stop mid-sentence. Zetsu had knocked that dish to the ground as well. His yellow eyes stared at Kisame as he asked,

"Surely you didn't expect me to even consider touching something so vile, did you chef?" Kisame was starting to get agitated but he still held it down as he brought over another plate. Zetsu simply smirked and said, "You don't even have to bother, chef." He then stood and knocked everything on the table to the floor. Kisame had enough, so he firmly yet calmly asked,

"Maestro, what was wrong with those dishes?" Zetsu walked around the table, regarding the scene before replying,

"They didn't match my tastes. You'll learn soon enough." He ended the statement with a grin that looked just a little bit sinister. "Yet, the fact is, I'm still hungry and..." There was a noise from a nearby window. "What's that?" He walked towards the opposite wall and looked up, sighing, "Ah... There's something..." He then turned and called, "Butler!" Sasori walked over.

"Yes Maestro?"

"Go fetch a ladder!" Zetsu commanded. Sasori bowed and quickly went to his task. Zetsu began pacing back and forth in front of the wall; like a panther cornering its prey. Finally, Sasori came back.

"Here Maestro, I.." Zetsu abruptly ran over and snatched the ladder from Sasori. Sasori brushed himself off and mumbled, "You're welcome." Zetsu propped the ladder up against the wall. And began to climb. He was up quite high when he stopped at the highest window and seemed to pick something up from there. He quickly came back down and stated,

"I've got it!" He then presented what he had gotten to everyone. It was a bird's nest and it still had a mother bird frantically trying to protect her eggs. Zetsu licked his lips and asked, "These eggs should be just about ready to hatch, don't you all think?" Everyone was still unsure of Zetsu was getting at but nodded. Zetsu smiled, "Good. Now… Chef?" Kisame walked over.

"Yes?" Zetsu smiled even wider as he asked,

"Snap the neck of this bird for me, would you?" Deidara gasped while Itachi and Sasori watched on with widened eyes. Kisame shook his head and asked,

"Why would I do that?" Zetsu answered, as calm as if he were talking about weather,

"I'm hungry. Do it. Now!" He shoved the nest into Kisame's hands and waited. The blue-haired chef gulped and looked back towards the others. "Well?" Kisame sighed and whispered,

"I am so sorry." He then carefully picked up the fragile bird from its nest, getting pecked a few times. He looked at it for a minute and slowly closed his eyes, wrapping one hand around the body and another around the head.

There was a wet crack and it was done.

"Bueno! Bueno!" Zetsu cheered and switched the lifeless bird in Kisame's with the now-abandoned nest and eggs. Zetsu walked to the table and sat back down in his chair. He placed the deceased creature onto one of the few remaining plates. He chuckled as he picked up a fork.

"Sasori?" Deidara asked quietly, "Surely he's not about to do what I think he's about to do?" Before Sasori could answer, Zetsu stabbed the bird with the fork and gazed, wide-eyed, as blood ran from it.

"As the French would say…" Zetsu began using a nearby knife to cut the bird in two, then picked up one half, "Bon appetite!" Zetsu took a large bite.

"Oh God!" Deidara gasped, placing his hands over his mouth; trying so hard not to vomit. Sasori was too busy trying to convince himself that he did not just see his new master eat the bloody bird-carcass. Kisame simply stood there, still holding the nest in his hands, thinking,

'This must be what Orochimaru meant...' As Zetsu finished off one half and began cutting the other into smaller portions, Itachi was silently retching in his seat. The medium-length brunette looked to Tobi, who had turned away from the sight and was discreetly shaking his head.

Zetsu paid no one any mind as he ate; savoring the taste of his latest meal on his tongue with each chew. When the bird was completely gone, he even ate the bones, Zetsu's yellow eyes narrowed. Rubbing his temples, he called, "Chef!" Kisame shook himself out of his shock and replied,

"Yes?"

"The eggs." He pointed towards the nest in Kisame's hand. "Boil them in a mixture of brandy, soil from the garden, and vinegar and then bring them to me." Kisame could have laughed if it weren't for the spectacle they had just witnessed and he choked out,

"Soil?" Zetsu grimaced and jumped to his feet, grabbing the plate he had just used. He threw it towards Kisame in full rage, the chef barely ducking out of the way at the last moment. As the remnants of the plate fell towards the ground, Zetsu seethed out,

"Get... moving... chef." Kisame bowed and began to walk out of the room until Zetsu's voice rang out, "Leave the nest." Kisame walked back to the table and removed the eggs from the nest before leaving again. Zetsu sighed as he relaxed into his chair. Drowsily opening his eyes, he stated, "It may take him a while to get the dish ready..." He then shouted, "Tobi!" Tobi jumped up from his seat and was immediately at the man's side.

"Yes?" Zetsu gestured towards the empty nest and held up a knife. Tobi nodded, taking the instrument and grabbing the nest. Silently, the small male cut the nest into four pieces and lined them up. "There you go." Tobi stated shakily. Zetsu smiled at him and cooed two little words:

"Feed me." Tobi shivered and nodded, picking up a piece of the nest. He delicately moved it towards Zetsu's mouth and when the man opened his lips, the brunette softly guided it inside. Zetsu pulled away and chewed softly, as if enjoying a prized delicacy. He swallowed and pointed towards his mouth. This went on until the last piece had disappeared down the man's throat. However, he wasn't done yet. As Tobi tried to walk away, Zetsu grabbed his hand and...


There was a loud yawn, causing Sai and Naruto to be interrupted from the artist's story. Sasuke moved closer to the lantern and frowned, "Wow Sai, unbelievable. You've managed to make one of the most potentially disturbing tales into a boring urban legend. Bravo." Sasuke ended, clapping his hands half-heartedly. Sai scoffed,

"I'm pretty sure that Naruto found it scary, right Koi?" Naruto was slightly shivering and he murmured 'poor bird' before replying,

"Well, it was pretty creepy. But I think I could stand it." Sai frowned and Sasuke chuckled before bringing out his lap-top and going through his music files. When he found what he was looking for, he smiled and said,

"Let me tell you about the Apostate castle, Dobe." Sasuke clicked 'play'.


(1) I was feeling random right there and decided to include something from the old Legend of Zelda cartoon. Heh heh heh... For the love of God, don't watch it.

(2) You know, they actually had one of these in Japan, believe it or not. Only it was only for Miku Hatsune.

A/N: This chapter was crap. How so? The story was supposed to be a one-shot but after getting to this point in Sai's telling of the story, I had to write another chapter where Sasuke tells the story and let this be more of an expository chapter. It will get better, trust me! And don't leave because of this parts crappiness, please? Also, I know that my Spanish was probably horrible. This little bit I got from living in Southern California for most of my life. I took French for four years for Pete's sake, don't torment me for that!

Maestro means 'Master' but hopefully people already knew that.

Please read the other part and review?

-Tyranno's girl.