AN: A new idea. As ever, I don't own a thing.
Penelope woke with a smile and started to stretch languorously when she felt the warm hand splayed on her belly. Her eyes flew open with a start. No, it wasn't the best dream of her life; Derek was actually laying next to her, sleeping on his tummy, one arm reaching out to touch her, the other wrapped around his pillow. He was sound asleep, a little smile still gracing his lips.
Oh, dear God! She thought, her mind going into overdrive. This could change everything, and she wasn't ready for everything to change. They finally did it; nearly five years of verbal foreplay, and they went and consummated their relationship. She wanted this for years. She just never thought that it would actually happen.
She slithered out of his big bed, carefully removing his hand from her belly. She looked once more at his beautiful back, the gorgeous expanse of muscle that she longed to still touch. She noticed the little scratch marks that she left, and bit her bottom lip, willing herself not to blush.
She started searching for her clothes. They were strewn all around Derek's bed room, along with the comforter and most of the pillows. She moved one of the throw pillows and found Derek's black boxers. She smiled a little; they really did get carried away.
It was all so surreal. Last night, the team decided to go for a drink. Derek was the leader of the pack, encouraging the whole bunch of them to let loose. Hotch still wasn't back from his sabbatical; Derek was the head and he filled that spot so naturally. Originally, there were some kinks to work out. He was almost too staid, too stoic. Now he seemed born for it. Somewhere down the line, it was like he realized he could still be Morgan and be an effective leader.
Penelope didn't want to go. She broke up with Kevin about a week before. She didn't let anyone know; Kevin's words were rather painful, although he didn't mean them to be. He wasn't a bad guy, really.
"Penelope," he had said, holding her hand at the coffee shop she liked to frequent. "It's like you're always holding something back from me, always half a heart away from me. I thought I would be okay with that, with just a portion of you. But I'm not."
"Kevin," she said, knowing his words were true, but still feeling horrible about it.
"It's in everything we do, Pen. Laughing, joking," he looked at her with the saddest eyes she ever saw. "Even when we made love, you held back. You know; it's really rough on a guy's ego, and I don't have much ego to lose!"
She shook her head. "Kevin, I didn't hold back." She was ashamed of herself, she knew she was lying to him, but she didn't want to admit the truth.
He laughed a little, but it was sad. He knew, he knew it wasn't the truth. He knew that the other half of her heart was occupied. He said shortly with a smile, almost teasing, but the smile didn't meet his eyes. "Then Penelope, maybe you are just frigid." He stood then, kissed her on the top of her head, and walked out of her life.
She was thinking about that when she had that fourth fuzzy navel that Derek bought her. Everyone else had gone home. He was still sitting across from her, smiling that trademark Morgan grin, trying to get her to talk to him. "Sweetheart, talk to me, or I'm gonna have to spank it out of you." His teasing was complete, whole hearted and fun loving. She looked at him and almost burst into tears.
"Baby," he said, drawing her into his arms. "What happened? You can tell me anything."
"I broke up with Kevin," she said, and he glanced down at her sympathetically. "No, no, that's no big deal, really. We weren't a super hot item anymore anyway."
His eyebrows went up in surprise. "Really? I did not know that. Always seemed cozy, you two." He looked at her again and arched a brow. "So, what is the problem then?"
She swallowed hard. "He said I was frigid."
He actually laughed. "You? Frigid? Baby girl, that's an oxymoron if I ever heard one. Hell, you make me hot just talking to you on the phone. You sure as hell are not frigid. Don't shake a negative at me, sweetness. Do I have to prove it to you?"
She just looked at him, the answer written on her face. She knew she shouldn't. This was Derek, her best friend. Not someone she should be thinking this way about. But she wanted this more than she wanted anything else. She needed this more than she needed anything else.
Within a second, he registered that look, drew in a sharp inhale. Their mouths crashed together with some force. It was desperate, it was needy, it was raw, and it felt so damn good. She was on fire, so far from frigid. They never said a word to each other, there wasn't time to talk. He ended up leading her to his place, to his bed, to this rather awkward morning, stumbling trying to put her bra on, looking for her underwear.
He was a wonderful man, a fantastic friend, and a superb lover. But he wasn't in love with her. Not that way. He still had a girlfriend, which absolutely mortified her- she was the "other woman." She didn't want to think that it was pity sex, but that sat in her mind. She practically begged him, and now she probably ruined their friendship.
No! She wouldn't let that happen. Everything was going to be fine. He would never know that he rocked her world, that she knew without a doubt that she was holding back because she was waiting for him all these years. He didn't have to think it was anything more than an enjoyable interlude for both of them. They could go on being plain ol' buddies, Morgan and Garcia.
Yep, she thought as her heart clenched in her chest. She glanced over where he was sleeping before she shut the door. Tears rolled down her cheeks. Fine.