Implied 1xR and/or 2xH, mention of 4xR, Duo POV. This is a deleted passage from a infrequently-updated story, Koji ma Oshi, but you don't need to have read that story to get the gist of this short bit. (You can find out more about KmO on my profile, which has links & info about stories not archived here.)


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~fourteen years after the Eve Wars~

We two were quiet for a bit, each mulling everything we'd said. One minor comment Heero'd made jumped back out at me and I was impressed despite myself, once I realized what he'd meant.

"That took guts, Quatre meeting with you before the wedding." I grinned and stretched. "He's such a good boy. How many times did he apologize before finally asking for your blessing?"

"Twenty, I think." Heero frowned. "He'd not proposed yet. The very idea seemed to cause him a great deal of stress."

"I doubt it. I suspect it was all you."

"I had nothing to do with it." Heero's frown grew. "He's the one who chose to get married."

"You had everything to do with it! I mean, if I thought I might be falling in love with one of you guys' exes, you'd better believe I'd be doing some hard thinking before proposing. Exes are exes, but... we five, y'know."

Heero had gone very still. "Ex, as in..." It was the closest he'd ever get to admitting he had no clue.

"As in former girlfriend, Yuy. We all have them. Relena just happens to be yours. Of course Quatre, our token good boy, was probably tied up in knots about making sure you'd be okay with it."

"Relena is not my ex-girlfriend or any kind of girlfriend." Heero said it a bit too stiffly, though, in my opinion.

I mean, I knew he had some old-fashioned notions about love and honor, no matter how much he tried to hide it -- I'd seen his extracurricular book-reading at the academy when he thought no one was watching -- but to deny it outright was a bit much. It's not like having an ex in the past makes a girl less excellent. Then I realized: he was serious.

Wait a minute. "Don't you try and bullshit me, Yuy," I told him. "I know you popped your cherries on Peacemillion together."

Wow, I had no idea Heero could actually sputter. I think he almost bit through his tongue in shock, at the very least. It took him several tries before he could manage, "we've always been good friends, but--"

"Yeah, you got really friendly in the back bay, too. That was way above and beyond the call of friends, Yuy."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Give it up, man. She sure did! I could hear her echoing all the way up the vent-line to the upper observation deck." I stopped, caught by the look of utter bewilderment on his face. "Uhm. That was definitely her, and she was definitely having a good time..."

"I know the sounds you're talking about. I was in the medical storage room." Heero's brow came down, eyes half-closing as he pondered, but I seemed to recall the medical bay was a level below the rarely-used upper observation deck, and the back bay was two levels below that. Heero shook his head. "That was definitely not me, and it couldn't have been Relena." His expression cleared. "That was when you and Hilde did it."

"When we what?"

"That was you and Hilde. Sally and I both heard you."

My ears suddenly got quite hot. Hell, here I was almost thirty and one mention of Sally and I'm suddenly fifteen again. "Hilde was in sick bay, Yuy. There's no way she'd've been up to messing around with me anywhere, if I'd not been crashed after the battle, anyway."

"Crashed out in the upper observation deck?"

Caught me there. "Okay, so I wasn't sleeping twenty-four-seven exactly. But that wasn't Hilde." I threw up my hands at his obstinacy. "Shit, it's been fourteen years, if you screwed around with the premier princess of the entire world, it's not like Zechs is going to rise up and smite you now. You can admit it. Be proud of it, even!"

"First of all, Zechs wouldn't rise up and--"

"We're talking about his little sister. There would definitely be smiting involved. Well, back then," I decided, on second thought. "Now, she'd probably do the smiting herself."

"She would've done it then, too," I think I heard Heero mutter, but I wasn't sure. I let it pass, especially when he added, "Relena wouldn't do something like that."

"Just how good 'a friends are you two, if you aren't aware that girls have sex, too?"

Heero looked distinctly uncomfortable, opened his mouth, closed it, then snapped at me, "the fact is, I did not have sex with Relena in the back bay. You and Hilde were--"

"No! No way," I retorted, "Hilde was injured and the only place I'd screw around with her is in a nice bed, one of those big comfortable ones like in sick bay."

His eyes narrowed. "So you did have sex with her. Just not in back bay."

"I didn't have sex with her at all -- not until we were both twenty-three, and why the hell am I defending myself to you? You can't even admit to screwing the queen of the world!"

"I did not screw the queen--" Heero broke off with a glare, then started over. "I say it wasn't me and Relena, and you say it wasn't you and Hilde, so who was it?"

I blinked at him. "How do you know it wasn't Relena?"

"Because--" Heero stopped, thought it over. "I just figured it couldn't be."

"We know it wasn't Sally -- you said she was with you. And it wasn't Hilde, because she was passed out in medical. It wasn't Noin, because I saw her at the helm when I left the observation deck. That leaves Relena and Dorothy."

We were both silent for a bit, then Heero got a peculiar expression. I was right behind him with a shudder.

"My god," I whispered, "have I spent the last fourteen years thinking I'd gotten to hear Relena scream through multiple orgasms and it was really Dorothy I'd heard?"

"Idiot." Heero shook his head.

"And if it was Dorothy... what guy was she with?" I pondered that for a second, but the adolescent imagery I'd cherished for so many years suddenly became a dark and strangely beautiful thing with Heero's next words.

"How do you know it wasn't Relena?"