Title: December the Seventh

Author: DC Luder

Rating: T simply because the Joker is mentioned once.

Summary: Two-Face hates their birthday. But not all of it.

Infringements: All recognizable characters belong to DC Comics, not DC Luder.

Author's Note: Bludhaven two-hundred word challenge for Harvey-Two Face's birthday. I've never written a fic less than thirteen hundred words so the fact that there are less than two-hundred and ninety words below is a Festivus miracle. And hooray for having an excuse to delay going to the gym!


One to-day is worth two to-morrows.

Benjamin Franklin


December the seventh.

Twelfth month, that was acceptable.

Seventh day… significantly less acceptable.

To make it worse, it wasn't a leap year, which made it the three-hundred and forty-first day of the year.

The Joker had once pointed out that it fell on the same day as the attack on Pearl Harbor but only a lunatic would garner any pleasure from such a coincidence.

Harley Quinn had recently informed us that it was also National Cotton Candy Day.

It was hard to say which one was crazier.

The maximum security wing never saw the light of day unless it was through four inch thick bullet proof glass secured in titanium bars. While our fellow inmates constantly fought to escape or induce chaos, we proceeded in an opposite manner. We went to therapy, we ate our meals, we sat in our cell without screaming incessantly and we even participated in the recreation day room program.

Despite the fact that it was our birthday and that we were surrounded by imbeciles and they had served Salisbury steak for the second time in three days, there was one thing to look forward to on the dreaded December the seventh.

Returning from the day room to my cell, with an entourage of guards aiming their taser and tranquilizer guns at my back, we made sure not to draw attention to the item that hadn't been there earlier. Shackles removed and locked in for the night, we waited until we were alone before walking to the window.

A small white card, the same hue of the wall, sat on top of a plastic wrapped truffle, half dark chocolate, half white.

Eating the treat, we smiled as we read: Happy Birthday , Harvey - B.