A/N: Story is based off the song "Already Gone," by Kelly Clarkson. The characters belong to Stephanie Myers and no copyright infringement is intended. This is also slash, so if this is not your thing, please hit the back button on your browser now.
I remember the first time I saw her watching us walk into the lunchroom her first day at school. To the rest of the world, she was plain, unassuming, and one of those that would fade into the crowd, unnoticed by everyone. However, to me, I saw the inner beauty of her, the dazzling way she managed to look completely unaffected while trying to hide her annoyance at the guys sitting next to her. She wasn't watching me, though, she was watching my brother and I knew then I would have to step aside and let her take control of the destiny that I knew was there.
I may have been able to see the future, but I couldn't imagine the things that would happen between her and I in the ensuing months and years that would follow. My memories of her are always clear and sharp, and if I was able to have emotions that are associated with being human, I would have shed tears over the things that came. But it's the one thing that I always say about being able to see the future: I can see everyone else's future, but I am not able to see my own. I saw Jasper's face when I first woke up, sure, and I knew what path my destiny was supposed to take. However, it's a funny thing, destiny can be sometimes. Sometimes it steps aside and allows fate to play for awhile. While it seems absolute, it can also change and take you down a different road than you ever intended.
I always knew that her and I were meant for goodbye, that we were not meant for forever. Ours was not a forever relationship, as much as her and I wanted this. So we started off with the most perfect kiss that I had encountered in all my years on this earth, as both human and vampire. I knew then I loved her with ever fiber of my being, and as much as I hated myself, I knew I had to stop this.
I remember telling her that we had to stop seeing each other like this. I knew that Edward knew by my emotions what I was feeling. He was so excellent at reading me, but on this one, I had to keep myself hidden, as difficult as that was. With Jasper, I hated myself for hurting him. I truly did love him with every fiber of my being, but there was something about Bella that made me intoxicated, made me want to lose my senses and turn her myself. I wanted her to be mine forever.
I remember looking at her looking at me like her world had shattered the night I told her we had to stop this. That we had to end this affair before it got more out of hand than it already had. I saw the tears start falling down her cheeks, and I reached out and brushed it off her cheek and felt myself shatter inside when she recoiled from my touch.
"Don't you love me at least a little bit?" she asked me, her face turned away from mine. I reached out and turned her face towards mine, smiling a sad smile. "You know I love you more than anything. We were never meant for do or die. That is what Edward's in your life for and Jasper is in mine. I love you enough to leave you go. I could be selfish and take away from them and keep you to myself forever I have to let you go to your destiny."
She nodded and leaned into me, as I wrapped her arms around her. As the sun started to rise, I reluctantly pulled away. She looked towards me, smiling that half smile that made me fall in love with her at first sight. As she started to get up, I pulled her down to me, and against my better judgment, brushed my lips across hers and whispered against them, "Remember, I could not loved you better, but I want you to move on. Even if we tried to be perfect, it could not keep this love alive. I love you enough to let you go. It doesn't matter where we take this road, someone's got to go. And that someone is going to be me. You are Edward's destiny, and I am Jasper's, and that's the way it has to be."
"Too bad you couldn't have foreseen this in our future when this started."
"Even if I could've," I said, brushing back a strand of her hair, "I wouldn't of changed any of this. We were meant to go down this road. This was our fate. We go back to being best friends, nothing more, nothing less." As I said those words, I could feel my heart, if it still could beat, breaking and shattering into a million pieces.
She nodded and walked into the sunlight as I stayed hidden in the shadows, wishing for a split second I could be human again so I could weep with the sadness that I wished I could feel. I knew then and there that I had to leave, get away from the memories that would always haunt me. Because looking at her would only make this harder. I needed to run away, run away from these feelings that I never knew existed, because as much as I loved Jasper, I knew that with her I could have what they consider a perfect love. However, that was neither her nor my destiny.
So I left. I told Jasper that I needed to be alone for awhile, and he understood. Jasper has always been more understanding than what I deserve, but he is who was chosen for me. He loves me and I love him. He knew that I needed the time away and so I left. I tried going to places that wouldn't haunt me of her that I could try to get rid of her scent. Nothing worked. Every place I turned, I was haunted and knew that there was no moving on. So I went home, and tried to clear my mind of her by being there for her as her friend. I knew that when we started this, we were always meant to say goodbye.
As the years pass, my memories of the time we spent together still haunt me, and shadows play across my memories of her and I. I spend a lot of time thinking of what could've been. And I think a lot about fate and destiny. Those two things are a funny thing, as fate brought us together, but destiny would not allow us to be together forever.