Disclaimer: IDNOFBAILTBBOLPIC (I Do Not Own Fruits Basket, Although I'd Like To But Because Of Legal Purposes I Can't) (Aren't acronyms fun?)

Tohru and Kyo had been living together for about four years after their graduation now. Kyo was always fascinated by how she'd still continue to surprise him by her endless supply of smiles and how they were just a couple like now. He had always thought that he'd be locked up in the Isolated Cat Room, far away from anything as happy as Tohru was.

But now they were traveling back to the Sohma estate for the dreaded time of the year: The New Year's Banquet.

For some reason they continued to have a banquet every year, although these days it was more a family event then anything. Everyone was invited, post-cursed or not. That meant that he'd be seeing his family. His big, loud, and mostly obnoxious family. If it was up to him, he'd just stay at home with Tohru watching the New Year's fireworks from their apartment balcony.

But Tohru insisted on meeting the family again since she hadn't seen them for several months, and how could he say no to her?

Which brought Kyo here, sighing just outside the big Sohma House gates.

"Kyo?"

"What?"

"Are you sure that you're okay with this? I mean you've been looking really stressed and I know that you don't like these sort of reunions and if you really just want to go back…"

"It's okay!" Kyo said, half laughing. She was very cute when she was flustered.

"I can handle being with my family. My father won't be there, and I think I can handle Shigure..."

'And Momiji…and Haru…and Ayame…and that stupid rat…'

"Oh…okay!" she said, bright smile on her face.

And Kyo had to respond with a smile of his own.

"Are you sure that you're ready now?" Tohru asked, just the tinge of worry in her eyes.

"I'll be alright…" he leaned down to kiss her forehead.

"…Because I have you."

Inside, their small luggage was instantly swept away by the many servants from the mansion, and they were practically pushed by that old woman into the main living room. When they got there, Tohru was nearly pushed to the floor by a giant blur of yellow and blue.

"Tohru! It's so good to see you!" laughed Momiji.

"Hello Momiji! It's nice to see you too, but you're a little heavier these days so…"

Momiji immediately hopped off. "Oops, sorry!"

Momiji still had gotten taller since they last saw him. In fact, his size was almost on par with the rest of the Sohmas', as he was only a few inches shorter than Kyo or Yuki.

"Hello Tohru-san," said Yuki. He was now comfortable by calling her by her first name, but still couldn't get rid of the honorific.

Kyo watched as Tohru was swept away into the crowd of people, as they all greeted her. He sighed. Whenever they were at these things, he and Tohru never had any time to their selves. Another reason why he dreaded these family reunions.

As the entire room greeted each other, he made himself invisible by standing with his back against the wall. He was soon joined by another girl. Kyo looked at her, trying to identify who she was, until it clicked.

"You're…Yuki's girlfriend, right?"

"Yes," said Machi with a slight blush on her cheeks, "I'm Machi."

Kyo remembered her. He saw her and the stupid rat making foot prints in the snow last New Years. What a strange couple. But something looked different about her. Maybe it was…her hair? He wasn't good with that girly "notice anything different?" stuff.

"Is something different about you?"

She looked at him surprised, almost like she was thinking he was stupid for asking.

"Yes," she said quietly, then looked away to Yuki who was coming towards them.

"Hey Machi," he quickly kissed her. "Hello stupid cat."

"Back to you."

Machi sighed. She never understood their nicknames for one another.

Then Tohru came over. "Hello Machi-san…EEK!" Tohru squealed.

"What? Where!" Kyo was ready to destroy whatever had freaked out and potentially harmed his girlfriend.

"You guys are going to have a baby! Oh how wonderful!" Tohru immediately started asking about when it was due and if it was a boy or girl…

Wait…baby? It took Kyo a moment to process the information. Then he finally figured out what was different about Machi—her stomach had grown quite a bit.

'Oh.'

He didn't have time to think about it anymore, because at that moment the Sohma girls came over and talked to Tohru and before he knew what happened, she was gone.

"What happened to…"

"Tohru? She and most of the Sohma girls went to the mall to go shopping," Shigure replied.

Kyo glanced around the room. The girls were indeed gone, save for Machi and Akito. That left him with Hatori, Shigure, Ayame, Yuki, Hiro, Momiji, and Haru. Ritsu and Kureno decided not to come to this year's banquet.

'Not that I could blame them…'

But there was someone missing, and he just came in through the door.

"Shishou!"

Kyo was surprised that his master had even come this year. He was often traveling around the countryside or too busy at the dojo to come.

There was another round of greeting, and then Machi went to her room to take a nap. They were having a light conversation when Kyo suddenly heard cries coming out of nowhere. Startled, he looked to the side to see a baby monitor.

"Oh for Pete's sake," muttered Akito, "Shigure, I'll go calm down the baby. It's my turn."

"Thank you," answered back Shigure, and quickly stole a kiss from her lips. Kyo cringed. He had believed that Akito was a guy for most of his life, and them being lovey-dovey together was as awkward as ever.

So Akito left, leaving all of the guys alone. It was pretty calm and peaceful (well, as calm and peaceful as an ex-cursed family could be) until Ayame spoke up.

" Oh yes, Shishou-san, have you heard? My little brother is going to have a baby! Yes indeed, I will be the proud uncle of my brother's bloodline! And the child will have the finest pedigree and clothing, provided by myself of course…"

Ayame continued on with his rant, and Shishou turned to Yuki.

"What a wonderful surprise. Do you know what gender it will be?"

"Not yet. We wanted it to be a surprise."

Shigure took this moment to be obnoxious. "So," he started, "since you guys are going to have a child and everything, does that mean you've become a real man at last?"

There was a silent pause, only to be interrupted by the tea kettle whistling. Hiro immediately stood up.

"I-I better go get that." He ran out of the room as quickly as he could. Hatori then followed him, making up some excuse that he had lots of work to do.

Kyo didn't get it. Everyone was looking uncomfortable (save for Ayame and Shigure) and Yuki was blushing. He couldn't handle the silence anymore, and just burst out bluntly, "So? What's the big deal about it?"

Everyone looked at him like he was an idiot. "Don't you get it?" asked Shigure, "to make a child, a man and a woman need to have sex."

Kyo was taken aback like everyone else. How could he have been so stupid? Of course they would've had done…that if they were having a kid! He took Life Education in high school!

"Wow. I can't believe you were that stupid, cat," said Yuki.

"Uh…"

"Surely you must've realized it! Haven't you and Tohru…" Momiji trailed off.

Now it was Kyo's turn to blush. "Um…no…"

This conversation was getting pretty awkward. He didn't even understand why he was so flustered about it. So what if they hadn't done it yet? He was perfectly happy just being together.

"So…" Haru spoke up, eyes never leaving the magazine he was reading, "You have never had sex with Tohru. Man, I'm not even a virgin and I'm younger then you…"

"GAH! I don't need to know about your sex life!"

"Kyo," started Shishou, "It's perfectly normal to have those desires at your age. I think that you need to realize that as time goes on, you and Tohru will be taking another step in your relationship with each other."

Kyo just stood there, dumbfounded. Was his master trying to have the talk with him?

Shigure and Momiji were both laughing at his expression. He told them to shut up, but he also felt his face flare at the embarrassment of it all.

And what was Shishou talking about, with all that "desire" crap? It's not like he had those kind of thoughts about him and Tohru, about them doing that sort of thing…

And just the thought of that made him think of all the wrong and horrible things that they were talking about, which made his face heat up again. God, he was such a pervert!

"Kyo's got the hots for Tohru!"

"Shut up, you stupid rabbit!"

"Now be quiet, Kyonkitchi, the baby's trying to sleep…"

"Not to mention Machi…"

"Kyo's got the hots! Kyo's got the hots!"

"Now, if you and Tohru were to give in to these desires, you would need protection…"

"…of course, my dear brother's child will be excellent in many ways, and as talented as I, so I MUST teach it the sacred art of designing clothes!"

"Nii-san, NO."

"Hey look Yuki, this guy has his nose pierced in the magazine. Should I try it?"

Kyo felt his head whip from left to right, staring blindly at all of the speakers who talked without pause, until he finally blacked out.

And the last thing he thought was,

'God, do they ever shut up?'

"Kyo? Kyo-kun?"

Kyo opened his eyes and registered where he was. He recognized the uncluttered décor of Hatori's office/home. The voice belonged to none other than Tohru, who stood to the left of him with the seahorse doctor himself in the background.

"Oh good, you've come to," said Hatori.

"What…what happened?"

"You fainted because of…stress overload. It's very common in young people."

"Oh."

Stress. Stress. What had caused him to be stressful again?

Shigure's face showed up, and he suddenly remembered everything, which caused him to blush.

"Oh no, Kyo! Do you have a fever?"

Tohru lifted her hand to Kyo's forehead, and the sudden contact made him flinch.

Since when did being around her cause this sort of reaction? Since when did he act like some hormonal teenager? It was like that single touch ignited some sort of fire.

"Ahh, I'm f-f-fine!" snapped Kyo, in a way that made him sound anything but fine. Tohru looked at him with worry, and Hatori looked at him with pity.

'Lucky him. He was able to escape…'

He was pretty angry at his family. Their little "talk" had made him think things he would not want to discuss with anyone. But now, every thought in his head was like one of Shigure's novels that he wrote in his "free time."

In particular, Tohru was looking very, very appealing.

And also, that skirt on her was very, very short.

Kyo started banging his head against the table.

"AHH Kyo, are you okay?"

"…Perverted…Perverted…"

"What did you say? I can barely hear your mumbling, Kyo," Hatori stated, coolly.

"…Nothing…"

Hatori gave him a funny look and continued on.

"Well then, considering Kyo's mental breakdown today," Kyo felt his temper flare at the words "mental breakdown" but ignored it, "I think its best if you two go back to your rooms in the main house."

Kyo perked up. This meant that he could avoid his cousins for the rest of the day!

But this also meant, Kyo realized with a chill, that they would be alone in their room.

For. The. Entire. Day.

He shook his head, hoping to deter the very tempting images that were hitting his head at this moment.

He would kill Shigure later.

But for now, he and Tohru got up and walked back to the estate. Since the grounds were so big, it was more like a long, but comfortable walk.

Deciding that he needed something to get his mind off of things, he started a simple, clean, and innocent conversation with Tohru.

"So, you guys went shopping?"

"Oh yes! Kagura showed me this big store with all these clothing…"

And pretty soon Tohru was talking energetically, and Kyo found himself immersed and truly interested in what they did at the mall.

All was calm and peaceful. That was until, Tohru started,

"And then Isuzu-san brought me to her favorite store. It had some interesting pieces."

Every nerve on Kyo's body suddenly came alive. "Caution, danger," they seemed to say.

"What?"

"Yeah, and Isuzu-san and Kagura got me some presents! They said to wear it in front of you!"

His blood started to boil. Shifting uncomfortably, he dared to ask, "What kind of clothes?"

"It was a funny word..." Tohru crumpled her nose in concentration, "Oh, I got it! Lingerie!"

Silence.

"Kyo-kun?" Tohru asked, when she realized that Kyo was no longer walking beside her.

She looked behind her, where a conked out Kyo was on the ground, flat on his face.

"KYO-KUN!"

A/N: Heh heh. Poor Kyo! But I have to admit, I loved writing this one-shot. It was an addicting idea that was on my mind for weeks. But I finally finished it. If you liked this one, I'm considering writing a sequel and making it a two-shot.

Any suggestions or ideas? Please please please review!

Reviewers get a cookie! (An imaginary cookie!)