"Shove over, Wolowitz."
"You shove over!"
"I need more space than you! You're an unbelievably tiny Jewish man."
"Yeah, well, you're… strangely muscular."
"Dude, don't say shit like that."
"Chill, I didn't mean it that way!"
"Yeah, right, like you haven't been checking out this kickass Indian bod."
"No! Jeeze, Raj, way to make it awkward."
"I believe it was you who made it awkward."
"Oh, are you still on about that? Because I was merely commenting your above-average muscle mass as it pertains to the current bed situation."
"Yes, but the 'current bed situation', a.k.a. the Sleepover Incident of '09 as it will henceforth be known –"
"I know right? Anyway, Sleepover '09 is your fault."
"Listen, pal. If I had somewhere else to sleep, I'd sleep there."
"You do have somewhere else to sleep. My couch!"
"It's too small for me."
"This bed is too small!"
"It's not so bad. See? I'll curl up here and then you have plenty of room!"
"I don't know why I put up with your skinny ass."
"Because if you showed up on my doorstep needing a place to crash because your crazy Jewish mother finally lost her mind and kicked you out, I'd let you crash in my guest room."
"Guest room! How come you can weasel your way into my bed and I get relegated to the guest room?"
"Hey, it's not my fault you don't have a guest room in this dinky apartment."
Raj harrumphed. "Look, dude, all I'm saying is that I am giving up half my bed, several hours of sleep, and the better part of my dignity to let you sleep here. All I ask is that you would hypothetically return the favour."
"Of course I would, Raj. Don't be ridiculous. Of course, my bed is bigger and more comfortable… so your elbow wouldn't be digging into my ribs right now!"
"Oh, sorry. Didn't realize. Here, what if I roll this way… and you can turn there..."
"I think we are officially cuddling."
A brief pause. Then a scuffling of blankets as they turned to face in opposite directions, their backs pressed together in order to remain on Raj's narrow bed.
"What happened at Sleepover '09… stays at Sleepover '09."