Author's note- I'm planning on updating my other story as soon as possible. I need to make a few tinkers here and there, so I hope none of my readers are upset for my slouch ness. God help me if you all stop loving me…
This, this is a mean story. I mean, it's a little depressing, but I'll make it work somehow. I'm not even sure where I'm going with this-hence the shortness of it. But it's ok as long as I tell myself it's an introduction to something better. Hopefully I'll have a spark of genius at the last minute. I'm still new to this fanfiction thing, so I have a lot of learning to do-so forgive me if I offend with this strange story. I absolutely love Xigbar-and I love his somebody too.
A Piece of "His" Mind
For the longest time, Xemnas had claimed that those who became nobodies had strong hearts. A strong heart left a body that was just as special, a soul and mind that must have been of equal value. After all, how else would nobodies come to be? Surely they were more than just meager leftovers-the backwash remains of some sort of chemical equation created by the darkness?
But the more Xigbar looked into it, the more he began to wonder.
He was not perfect.
This was a vague explanation….merely; he did not look perfect enough to become the being he was. For a long time he believed he was strong, that he was something of value in order to exist in this world and existence of vertigo. If he had a prefect heart, one so strong and high of value, surely he had other things that were just as valuable? A strong soul-a strong body and mind?
No-this was not true.
Xemnas must have been wrong. Ansem was wrong. Everything brought up at the meetings; all of them were nothing but filthy lies. He was not this powerful creature; he was not a soul that was deemed worthy in the eyes of many. He knew this.
If he were to pull away at his being, only to see what his soul's was-he would see nothing but filth. Layers and layers upon filthy sludge, black and brown waste that needed to be cleaned off. This soul was not pure, and so that meant that his mind and body was the same. He knew this for a fact too. He knew this better than anyone else.
It all came down to Braig.
Everything the man thought of, whether it was good or bad, pure or evil-there was quite a bit of evil-it only helped prove to Xigbar that his soul was not strong.
Braig thought things…strange and unusual things.
If his soul was anything, it was demanding. It was demanding and it was able to wait, which also made it patient. Braig could wait forever, and he had all the time in the world to wait. He would hide his sick thoughts and he would put a smile on that pretty face of his, and he would wait and wait till his heart could bear it no longer. Nobody would ever guess the twisted, lustful thoughts that swarmed around that young mind, and they never would either. Luckily for Braig, he never had to worry about the day his heart gave in to those kinds of things. He lost his heart before the sick demands were met.
But Xigbar couldn't hold on forever. He lacked a heart and was so hollow inside. There was always an urge to fill the empty in his chest, and sometimes the thought would fall onto those things. Things that were bad, that did terrible things, horrible things. He couldn't let that happened. He was a superior, but he knew better than that. Unlike most of the superiors, he was liked and looked upon. He had members that he was sure could be called friends. The last thing he wanted was to be seen a different way. He knew he could getaway with these things…but did he want to?
He could break some legs, and he was sure he wouldn't hear Xemnas scold him for it. This would be no different. And it would only be once…just one time, and he would never do it again…
That's not what he would do.
What was Braig thinking? Why was Braig like this? Was there something wrong with him? He could not find any memories that would lead to something like this. Braig was never hurt or abused; he was never unloved or uncared for. There was no reason behind this…
There was something wrong with this soul.
A soul like this could never be considered strong. A mind so filthy and sick, so twisted and cruel-how could this be worthy in the eyes of darkness? This body that wanted to commit such heinous acts…
Was that the key behind it all?
Did the darkness pick him out because his other was so demented? Were the other superiors just as twisted as him? Did they have a secret that was best kept hidden? He had no idea…but he would like to assume so. Even was a quiet one…and he was sure the others were keeping something to themselves…but there was no proof. Braig never told a soul about his urges and evil thoughts, so he could assume the others were the same…
What about the younger members?
He would never know…
All he could do was wait. Ignore the thoughts and wait. Wait for him to break and unleash the monster that was so eager to rein havoc onto a poor helpless victim. And it wouldn't be too long either; unlike Braig, he had no heart.
Xigbar sighed and opened his one eye, viewing the rooms white ceiling. He glanced about and watched Luxord try to teach Demyx a simple card trick, and by the looks of it, he wasn't having much luck.
Xigbar blinked and his gaze looked on to that small, slender, and supple body that belonged to the Melodious Nocturne. Young and innocent, skin smooth and eyes full of so much energy.
And young…nice and young…
Xigbar sighed again.
Yep…wouldn't be much longer…
And that's all for now girls...or guys...
A review would be very much appreciated-and it will give me an idea as to where to go with this story of mine. As mentioned, I'll update my other story as soon as I can. This is just a break of silly inspiration.