Since I feel like my last story was too cliched-y lame, I decided to write something more fun. I'll probably upload an Egoshipping story for Christmas soon, too.
Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon, its characters, or the advice of Brock's 'foolproof' guide.
How to Ask a Girl Out
"Brock. This isn't going to go well."
"Nonsense, of course it is, Ash! This guide's 100 percent foolproof. She's already in love with you, you just have to ask. If you've come to Brock, the expert of love, then this is really serious."
"… All right. Call an ambulance, just in case she hits me or she laughs in my face."
#1- Look your best. Dress well and groom yourself.
"Ash…? What's with your hair…?"
"You don't like it?"
"You look like Tracey. And…It's just not you."
"And your shirt's too big, too. Is it Gary's…?"
"No. I'll talk to you later Misty."
#2- Try to talk to the girl a few times before you ask her out.
"So, Misty, how are your sisters?"
"Why, were you going to ask one of them out?"
"No! I just, uh… How's Togepi?"
"Togetic, you mean? He's still at the Mirage Kingdom…"
"The gym! What kind of challengers have you been getting?"
"The 10-year-old overly confident people who want to be Pokemon masters. Sound familiar?"
"…I'll be right back."
#3- Think of ideas for your first date before you ask her out.
"So, Misty, is there anywhere you want to go?"
"The supermarket…? Brock gave me a list of groceries."
"… Anywhere else?"
"Bookstore. I need to order a copy of the Kanto league gym rules."
"The Pokefood store. I'm running low on food for gyarados. Why?"
"… Forget it."
#4- Be sure to ask her at the right time, when you're alone and she's not busy.
"Err… Are you busy tonight?"
"I was wondering if you wanted to watch a movie."
"Oh, sure! Brock, Gary, Tracey, May and Drew are coming over tonight, so why don't you go through the cabinet and choose some movies out?"
#5- Keep your body language relaxed and talk to her casually. Don't use a "line."
"Ash…? Is everything all right? You look uncomfortable and twitchy."
"Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes."
"Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart."
"Well, mister thief, I'd rather you do something useful and take out the trash. Or vaccum the rug."
"How was heaven when you left it?"
"Oh! The guide says not to use a pick-up line!"
"Never mind. I'll get to that trash, Mist!"
#6- If she says yes, set a time and then leave. If she says no, don't take it personally.
"…But she hasn't said yes yet."
"Mumbling to yourself there, Ashy-boy?"
"Oh, hi, Gary."
"What are you reading? How to ask a girl out… Don't tell me you got this from your tall friend."
"And how many dates has he had?"
"… Good point."
"I assume you're trying to ask out Scarlet?"
"Is that what you've been trying to do all day, Ash?"
"Misty! I- uh…"
"Well, I'm out of here. Good luck, Ashy boy. Don't break his heart, Scarlet."
"Is that really what you've been attempting, Ash?"
"If I could rearrange the alphabet…"
"Enough with the cheesy pick-up lines, Ketchum. They wouldn't even work for Gary, if he used them. Answer the question."
"You could have just said, 'Misty, will you go out with me?' you know."
"Will I what?"
"Idiot. Course I will. By the way, I'd toss that book out. Maybe Brock might actually get a date if he'd stop following those guidelines."