Disclaimer: I do not own Sarek
Special thanks to Beta Notes from the Classroom
Pon Farr
He sat in the coolness of the cave, meditation firepot in front of him. His body was filled with warmth. Occasionally, his station allowed him the luxury of a bath. He was familiar with the feel of warm water pooling over his body. Now it felt like warm water pooling from within...it was almost pleasant.
And then it was not. The feel of warm water turned to the prick of hot needles.
His body longed and his mind reached for what his body craved. T'Sala.
From across the light years her mind whispered back. K'diwa, Sarek, I burn for thee.
The feeling came. Spreading through his body engulfing him, it wrapped around him like the velvet darkness draped the stars. In his hormone-addled mind, he and T'Sala's bodies were the fire of the stars...the blackness was the feeling that bound them through light years.
I am coming home, Sarek. I am coming home to you.
His body ached and strained; his loose clothing felt like rough ropes against his skin. He desired her...it was not something he could meditate away anymore. He wanted to claim her, be inside her, mark her with his teeth, fill her with child.
Her mind rushed through his and absorbed his passion, accepted it, echoed it. And somehow that echo made his desire manageable.
It allowed him to regain some conscious thought...and the thought was this...this agony, which was not agony, almost pleasurable, was simply their bodies struggling to be joined, as their minds had been joined fifty-six years ago.
X X X X X X X X X X X X X X
Sitting cross-legged on pillows across from him, the little girl stared at Sarek. Her features were symmetrical, her hair shaped in the same short practical cut as his. This was the first time they had met.
Her name was T'Sala; she was seven years old, just as he was. He heard she was a good student, played the lute -- as did he, and liked 3D chess -- but who didn't? He had also heard that her family was noble. But so was his, so that was to be expected.
Today she would become his bond-mate. He accepted this. He was not nervous. Only curious.
One day they would desire to procreate. That idea seemed far-fetched to him. He understood the mechanics of the process but could not fathom that the organ necessary would function in the way required. Nor could he imagine wanting the necessary organ to function in such a way.
As the healer had instructed, he reached out and touched her psi points. T'Sala mirrored his motions. Through the skin contact, he felt her curiosity and was certain she felt his. Then as the healer had instructed, they began to chant in unison. "My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts, one and together, never separated."
He let his mind drift as he did in meditation and suddenly found himself staring at himself and T'Sala at the same time.
"Fascinating," he said aloud.
Yes, fascinating. It was T'Sala's voice in his mind.
Suddenly he was awash in memories and sensations not his own. She used to be afraid of an uncovered vent in the basement of her house...She was unusually attached her pet sehlat...
He might have commented on these illogical tendencies but he felt her seeing the time he knocked over a servant carrying plomeek soup...his irrational fear of the dark that lasted until he was five...
She didn't dwell much on these memories, didn't comment on their being irrational. He felt her become focused on the memory of his last lute practice session.
I do not know that piece, she whispered in his mind. Sarek suddenly felt a wave of admiration from her.
He decided that his bond mate was acceptable.
X X X X X X X X X X X X X X
Sarek's body swayed forward. Catching himself on his hands, he cried out in shock and anger, "T'Sala, what has happened?"
Through space and time her voice whispered. The ship was shaken. I know not why. Do not worry, k'diwa, I am coming...
Despite her words, he could feel her disorientation and her fear; for a moment he thought he might be overflowed with panic, but then she composed her mind and started to send him memories...
X X X X X X X X X X X X X X
A year after their bonding, they met again. They played a duet for their parents on their lutes. It was a surprise to both sets of adults; Sarek and T'Sala had secretly practiced through their bond.
To their great satisfaction, they both performed flawlessly. To their great surprise, their parents were immensely pleased.
They were confused. It seemed only logical to employ their bond towards pursuits that furthered both their abilities.
When they articulated this thought, T'Sala's father said, "It is completely logical, but not always pursued, especially at such a young age. Continue to assist one another."
Sarek heard his mother comment to T'Sala's mother, "We have chosen well."
He looked at T'Sala. Someday we might actually be friends, he said through the bond.
Her eyes met his. He felt her satisfaction at this statement.
X X X X X X X X X X X X X X
She was trembling. No, the ship she was on was shaking. She had been seated on the floor in front of an incense burner. She had extinguished it for fear of fire. Now she sat strapped in a chair as the ship quaked.
The safety harness crossed her breasts. He wanted to hold her breasts, wrap his hands around them from behind and bury himself in her...He let out a low moan.
She was far away. In danger. And he was too weak and too mad at this point to defend her. I have failed you, T'Sala...I have lost myself at the worst time.
Sarek, you are sixty-two years old, and this is only our first time. Your emotional control is immense.
Sarek took a long breath at this. He was being irrational. Like so many times before when his logic escaped him, she caught him. Buttressed him. Centered him.
Have we not always done this for each other?
X X X X X X X X X X X X X X
T'Sala was alone in the Vulcan Forge, undergoing the 10 day ritual of survival all Vulcans participated in. She was frightened. Sarek spent most of these ten days in his room playing his lute for her. He neglected his studies. He asked to be excused early from meals. It gave her peace to listen to the notes of the lute in her mind. And this peace gave him peace.
He expected to be reprimanded by his parents. Instead, after T'Sala's time was complete, they praised him for his part in her survival. It was logical to put the physical survival of one's bonds mate above one's studies. Someday his life would depend on her...
When his time in the Forge came, she did the same for him.
After that they always addressed one another as t'hy'la -- friend.
X X X X X X X X X X X X X X
Alone in the cave, the emotion they had no word for flooded from her to him. The humans had a word they called love...but it didn't do this feeling justice. She was his. He was hers. She would tear out the stars for him if she could.
His skin felt like it was ignited. He wanted her. Couldn't be with her.
Bending over in his cross-legged position until his head rested on the floor, he felt his own erection pressed against his belly. He screamed.
T'Sala heard. Her skin caught his fire and she too felt like she was aflame. He felt her body longing to take him in.
Somehow this made the fire bearable.
X X X X X X X X X X X X X X
They were both twenty-two. They had not seen each other in three years. But now they had both been accepted into the Vulcan Science Academy.
Sarek was struck by how aesthetically pleasing his bond mate had become. Pulled back to reveal the delicate points of her ears, her hair fell straight down her back in a shiny black water fall. Her shoulders were square, though narrower than his own. Her breasts were now round and full, and impossible to hide even beneath her Academy robes. And as she walked he caught the sway of her hips.
They were alone in the great hall. It was the first time they'd ever been alone together. Sarek was inspired. He questioned with his mind.
Yes, was her reply. And he was flooded with happiness that was hers and unsuppressed.
He held up two fingers. She responded in kind.
And then, he did something terribly daring, just on the verge of indecency. Pulling closer, he dropped his forehead to hers.
She was not offended, only slightly worried someone would see.
He felt an inexplicable urge to bite her...
She swallowed; in his mind he felt her jaw clench.
She wanted the same.
It was a revelation. It was wonderful.
But through their minds in unison came another thought. We must control this. The time is wrong...
In unison, to both of their great satisfaction, they pulled their bodies away. They began to discuss their research and gave into mutual fascination at the other's pursuits, physical urges all but forgotten.
But later that night Sarek was awoken by that forgotten, though necessary, organ. Panting, he clutched the sheets as an unfamiliar emotion wracked his body and visions of T'Sala whirled through his mind. He wanted to bite her, penetrate her, touch, protect...Shuddering, his body spilled hot liquid upon his stomach.
He felt T'Sala awaken in her room far across the Academy grounds, her body hot...a spasm running through it.
Sarek had never felt such shame. But T'Sala did not reciprocate this feeling.
Instead, she whispered through their bond, a practical demonstration.
In the darkness Sarek blinked in surprise.
It is only a natural physiological reaction; it overcame you while you were unconscious. It seems illogical to feel shame for one's unconscious mind, T'Sala mused. When the time comes we can both rest assured the required anatomy is in working order.
Perhaps we should no longer touch? Sarek mused back.
He felt T'Sala analyzing this statement. Your proposal is logical. We both have much to accomplish before children and the necessary changes that will bring.
Goodnight...k'diwa, she whispered softly in his mind. It was the first time she'd called him k'diwa. Half my heart, half my soul.
She did not reject him for his lack of self control. She even saw the logic in it. He wondered at the random factors of the universe that had brought her to him.
Goodnight, k'diwa, he replied.
He felt her slip back into satisfied sleep.
X X X X X X X X X X X X X X
Panting, he kept his head on the cool cave floor. His body shuddered. Her ship was shaking. He felt her fear...but more than that, he felt the strong bond of the powerful territorial emotion he'd felt the day they'd first touched when they were twenty-two. Mine, her mind was whispering...I will claim you as mine...protect you, care for you, bear your children.
His mind and body echoed, and there was relief for both of them in the echo.
And then there was a scream of anger in his mind...not at him...at fate...as illogical as it might be. He felt his body explode in fire. But it was not his body, it was hers...
He screamed in rage when he discovered he was still in one piece, still on the cave floor. T'Sala was dead...he should be dead...
He was no longer alone in the cave...
"We must bring in the replacement," he heard someone saying; it was difficult to determine who over the sounds his own body was making.
"We will call Princess T'Yava."
"She will do. She will have to."
Sarek's mind screamed out, No I will die. Let me die. But the sounds that came out of his mouth were only the inarticulate sounds of fury.
A/N:
After the fluffy/happy/humorous Reunion, I felt the need to sink my teeth (or key strikes) into some angst. (Not that this story won't have humor…can't seem to keep it out of my work. Life is both sweet and sour and all that. Somebody is going to HAVE TO bake Sarek a Strawberry cake – points if you get that reference.)
Anyway, not sure how far I'll go with this or how deep. Reader feedback appreciated – reviews are the only way my beta Notes and I get paid.
Questions about Sarek's "Late" Pon Farr? Pls see my Forums (click my name, then in my profile you'll see a link to Forums).
One more pre-Amanda chapter...