As Sung By
Disclaimer: I have no rights to the show and/or any of Heart of Glee's music.
Till now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
How do I get you alone?
How do I get you alone? (Kristin Chenoweth and Matthew Morrison/HEART)
It had been exactly four days, three hours, and thirty seven minutes since Kurt Hummel had seen Noah. He had liked to think it had been by choice; that he was rising above his emotions and his desires and was avoiding the Mohawk adorning teen. He chose to believe that the whispers he had heard about Noah being suspended for decking a hockey team member who had been "questioning his badassness" and insinuating that he and Kurt were and item were just that, whispers. But the reality was that had he been given the chance Kurt would have jumped through flaming hoops to get sometime alone with the other boy; either to continue the pummeling he had begun all those days ago during Glee or to hungrily devour Noah's mouth with savage kisses.
He had not yet decided which it was.
And now he stood face to face, looking up, at the other boy.
Now or never. Kurt sucked in a breath of air, an attempt to calm his breathing and steady his heart rate; and in one swift, graceful motion Kurt's hand flew up to and across Noah's cheek. Noah winced, but that was his only reaction; Kurt had been sure Noah would have shaken off the blow and lunged at him, showing him how a real man would throw a blow—but there was nothing; just the sound of small children on the other side of the park and birds dancing on the branches above them.
"You're an ass, Noah Puckerman. A pompous, arrogant, terrifyingly conceited, overly grandiloquent, and cruel ass." Kurt narrowed his eyes as the other teen remained silent, "Well, aren't you going to say something?" Kurt arched a brow and pursed his lips—working his features into an exceedingly expectant and incredulous expression.
Slowly Noah turned back to Kurt, his hands pressing into his front pockets, to Kurt he must have looked scared and sheepish, but a badass was never any of those things. He just did not have much to say. "What's there to say, Hummel? You seem to have me all figured out."
Kurt frowned, but quickly recovered with a disbelieving scoff, "So, we're back on a last name basis?"
Puck shrugged, "Well, you have let me anywhere near second or third base in a week, so I say, yeah, we are." For a moment Puck regretted his statement—he hated the wave of pain and surprise that washed over Kurt, but this is what it had come to. They were on opposite sides of the board again. Weren't they?
Kurt swallowed hard, crossing his arms against his chest, no longer bothering to seem unaffected and impenetrable, "That's all this was." Kurt looked away for a brief moment, bringing his right hand up to pull his bangs back into place, before lowering it back against his chest with the other.
"Of course it was." Noah lied.
It took Kurt a moment to respond, some part of him knew Noah was lying, that he was only trying to hurt him, and Kurt debated whether or not to play the same game or to rise above. He spent every day of his life rising above, hell, that was what made him better than a lot of people, but today…he would bat back. "I love Finn." A small part of Kurt was sated when Noah flinched in response.
"Of course you do." Noah bit back through gritted teeth.
"I never really wanted you." Kurt tossed the words sharply and condescendingly to the other.
"Didn't seem like that when you were moaning under me, scratching at me like a little slut." That round went Puck.
Kurt made no attempts to deflect the pain Noah's comment had brought him, and he sighed. "This was never going to work, was it?" This time Kurt looked seriously into Noah's eyes, all senses of malice and emotional armor gone, it took a series of awkward moments, but eventually Noah's guard came down, too. The only thing that stood between them was a thin veil of frailty and vulnerability.
"Probably not." Noah admitted. Kurt looked away, but not before Noah caught sight of the way the soprano's eyes widen by a fraction of an inch and swelled with the promise of tears. The small boy pulled at his bottom lip with his teeth, something Puck had learned was the boy's way of keeping himself from crying. Puck's eyes darted around the park quickly and then back to Kurt, before he closed the spaces between them and pulled his hands from his pockets. He reached out and put a hand to Kurt's shoulder, but the other boy made no moves to look at him or acknowledge him.
Puck had not lied; they had both known that this was doomed from the start. They went into it for the wrong reasons. Maybe the feelings were there, maybe they weren't. Maybe at some point they had actually begun to care for one another, but maybe that was not enough.
The taller teen pulled the smaller one into his chest and held him in a loose grip, "That doesn't mean I didn't want it to."
Neither boy was sure how long they had stood there, beneath the warmth of the sun and concealed by the darkness that had been cast down upon the ground from the tree above, but neither one cared. Not of the people passing them confused and judgmental gazes or of the classes Kurt was missing.
Maybe things weren't going the way they had planned…then again there had never been a plan before. So, it was true things had not gone as smoothly as they could have when two people who hate each other get together for reasons of lust and helplessness and curiosity, but that did not mean that as Kurt rested inside his embrace that Puck did not enjoy it. It didn't mean that the way Puck's body spray overwhelmed his senses, as Kurt pressed his face as deeply into the other boy as he could, wasn't the most amazing thing he could have ever planned.
So what if they had parted ways, Kurt for school and Noah for anywhere that wasn't the place he had just said goodbye to the boy who had left a surprisingly large ache chewing away at him? They had never planned to mean anything to one another, and that meant that there was a possibility that they could or would find their way back to each other, but for now they would have to settle for being alone. A lot distraught and a little content—but alone.
Author's Note: So, do you all hate me? I want to thank you all for sticking with this story and for all of the great reviews! This story was just as much for you guys as it was for me. I loved writing it and I loved…just, everything. I am think a sequel would be in order, but let me know if that is something you all would want. Until next time…