It was dark in the room. The air was thick and warm.
My cellphone started vibrating once on the nightstand. I programmed it that way. When I would get a call It would vibrate once, but after that it would remain silent.
The blue screen lit up every other second, signalling the caller hadn't hung up yet.
I glanced over beside me. He was still sleeping. I rolled over a bit so I could grab my phone and I climbed out of bed. I padded through the living room and then over to the kitchen to sit down in one of the wooden chairs.
The small screen was still flashing. I took a deep breath and flipped it open.
"Hello?" I kept my voice low and quiet. I did not want to disturb the sleeper in my bed.
"Bella…" He drawled. Even in this state, my name rolling of his lips had me in shudders.
"What is it?" I sighed.
"I miss you, you know that?"
"I miss you too." It was my automatic answer, though it did not make it any less true. He was always like this when he called. And I always played along. Ripping open the stitches in my heart.
"Bella." He hiccupped.
"Yes?" I whispered patiently.
I sighed again.
"Why are you calling?"
"Why are you calling?" I asked patiently.
"Just, wanted to hear your voice. I like your voice. It's so soft and soothing. Just like your hair." Another hiccup. "I like your hair too. It's brown."
"I know it is." I traced the outline of a dirty coffeemug with my free hand as I leaned on my elbows on the kitchen table.
"Your eyes are brown too. But not your lips. Your lips are pink." Hiccup.
"Pink and soft." Hiccup.
I sighed. This hurts me so much. Every time he called, it hurts all over again.
"You know it's pretty late."
"Nah… It's not that late. I just came home."
"Well, how late is late then?" Hiccup.
"It's ten minutes passed two in the morning."
"Really?" He asked in a high voice.
"Yes. Really, really. I wouldn't lie."
"You wouldn't lie."
I bit my lip. Tears sprung in my eyes. Every damn time, it hurts so, so much.
"I think I'd better go."
"Why?" He asked promptly.
"Because, like I said, it's ten minutes passed two in the morning."
"You're up anyway…"
"I was sleeping."
"Why are you whispering?"
"I've been whispering the whole time."
"Why are you whispering?" He repeated his question.
"Because I can't be to loud."
"Is he there?"
"You know who."
"Why are you with him, Bella? My sweet Bella."
I suppressed a small sob. He always did that. Calling me his Bella.
"Please… I have to go. You should go to sleep as well."
"I really don't get it. Bella, don't you see?" His voice grew louder.
"Don't you remember it? Don't you remember what we had?"
I swallowed the sob down, but a tear escaped my eyes.
"I do." He was the one that left.
"You do?" He asked me passionately.
"Why aren't you here Bella? I miss you. I want you in my arms. That's where you belong. Right here in my arms. And your brown hair too. And your eyes. And your lips. If you where here would you let me kiss your lips?" His loud voice grew a tad bit softer.
"Yes. I would." I said quietly and sniffed a bit.
"Then why are you not here. My Bella… I can't kiss your rosy lips like this."
I calmed myself with a deep breath.
"You really need to go to sleep now. You'll need it tomorrow."
"I don't want to." He pouted. I imagined what he looked like when he pouted. I was never able to resist him like that.
"Please. Go to sleep."
"I don't want to." He repeated. I sighed again.
"There is nothing we can talk about."
"There is so much that we can talk about! We always used to talk for hours, we used to talk the whole night through!" Hiccup. "You know… I really really don't like blonde. In fact, I hate blonde. And I hate blue eyes. I really really hate blue eyes. I love brown eyes. Like yours. Your eyes are the only ones I really really like. You have pretty brown eyes. Hey! You are my brown eyed girl. Don't you remember when-"
"I can't talk anymore." I cut him off before he would start singing the entire song.
"Can't talk or won't?" His voice growing passionate again.
"Both." I admitted with the tears running over my cheeks.
"Why not, why don't you want to talk to me?"
"Because…" I didn't finish my sentence.
"Yeah." I sniffed and wiped the tears of my cheek.
We we're both quiet for a while. His heavy breathing was the only thing I heard.
The stone kitchen tiles were cold under my feet, and I suppressed a shiver.
"I still feel it. You know that?" He suddenly drawled again.
"I need to go."
"I still think about you everyday."
"Please, I really need to go." I just couldn't hang up on him.
"Mom asks about you from time to time."
"Please…" I pleaded, my voice failing on me.
"She asked about you just the other day."
I didn't respond.
There was a pause again.
His breathing still heavy. Growing slower as time passed.
"I'm going to sleep. You should too."
"Ok." He gave in.
"Can you say my name? It's really good to hear you see my name. I miss you saying my name."
"You know. I never wanted to say goodbye. I hate saying goodbye. I never want to say goodbye to you."
"Goodnight." I repeated once more.
"Can you forgive me for saying goodbye?"
I stayed silent.
"Bella? My Bella, can you forgive me?" Suddenly he sounded as if he was about to cry.
"Shh, shh, I forgive you, now please, you need to go to sleep."
"Ok." He sniffled and hiccupped again.
"Goodnight. I love you Bella."
"I love you too." I whispered back after a pause. My insides clenched as I spoke the words. Ripping my heart open even further.
"Sweet dreams, love." I could here he was already dosing off as he mumbled that last sleepy response.
The line went dead.
I stared at the screen for a moment before closing the phone. I wiped my face again before I went back to the bed.
He was still asleep, snoring softly.
I crawled in and tugged myself back under his arm. He responded immediately by tightening his arm around me and pulling me deeper into his chest.
I fought the tears quietly. I felt guilty for crying over another man, and I felt heartbroken. This happened every time. But tonight it stung so much more. It always hurts when he calls, but knowing that tonight was the last time, hurts just so damn much more.
Yeahh… Lips of an Angel… heheh, I was listening to it, and I don't know… this came out.
I don't really know what the setting is here… The man in Bella's bed could very well be Jacob or Edward (or someone else of course, but I prefer to keep Bella's dilemma just about those two), since both of them left at some point through the series. In my mind it's Edward who's calling because… I don't know why, it just is. Seems more fitting or something. The caller is getting married the next day, and probably just came back from his bachelor party since he's drunk calling. I left his reason for his goodbye open so you can just fill that one in for yourself.
Yep, ok… I need to go back to studying now. I'm in my testweek…well weeks since it lasts till 17th of December… Heh, you see this is why I hate fanfiction. It totally distracts me, and I'm seriously addicted to it. It's really love-hate over here. I love it. And I hate it. And I hate that I love it. Although I don't love it that I hate it. Anywaysss goodnight! xx